Why Is My Boyfriend Ignoring Me? (10 Litte-Known Reasons)

Last updated on June 4, 2022 by April Maccario

Most times, in relationships, there arises a time where you can’t simply understand your boyfriend’s line of action. A common scenario is your boyfriend ignoring you. You’ve tried all sorts of communication – text messages, phone calls, writing to his email address, yet he’s still giving you the cold shoulder. This can raise doubt, agitation, frustration, anger, and a ton of emotions that would make you feel helpless.

If your boyfriend ignores you, popular opinion denotes being confrontational, because you don’t deserve to be treated that way. Though this is true, it’s important to understand that not all situations of ignoring a person are the same. 

There are multiple interpretations of a boyfriend ignoring his girlfriend, and understanding this will help you know the best line of action. More so, there are a ton of possible reasons why he may be ignoring you, and if you don’t properly decipher what relates to your situation, you could end up making the wrong move

Hence, my article is specifically targeted at helping ladies know what to do in the classic boyfriend ignoring the situation, without feeling guilty afterward. What’s more, the tips from this article will ensure you have the upper advantage in such a situation, without looking too demanding, controlling, or in a worst-case scenario, like a pushover.  

10 Things To Do If Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You

1. Speak up 

Irrespective of the reason why your boyfriend may be ignoring you, it’s important to express your emotions whenever you get the chance. However, you need to understand that men don’t necessarily like feeling attacked; so, if you come out harsh, he would probably be defensive. On the other hand, if you fawn too much about him and take the situation likely, he may consider you a pushover and not take things seriously. 

For this reason, it’s important to establish a middle ground, and rely more on effective communication rather than being right. If you are expressively honest, you will grasp his attention faster than you know it. Speaking up will also help you determine the character of your partner. Perhaps, you haven’t been exposed to such behaviors before? If so, speaking up will show if he’s emphatic or completely unapologetic about his actions. 

More so, if he continues to ignore you, then you can completely establish your facts about the type of person he is. This stands as a focal point to all other steps you would take; because in reality, holding someone accountable for their wrong deeds without actively speaking up will only make your claims bias.

2. Change the means of communication

One thing to think about when you say, “He ignores me!” is to consider the means of communication. Perhaps, the means you’re using isn’t entirely your boyfriend’s favorite, and the guy is finding it hard to keep up. You may cherish emails, but he prefers making phone calls. You may find leaving texts within the day a cute gesture, but he may prefer to wait till the end of the day or week to tell you how he feels in person.   

“Why is he ignoring me? You may still ask. Perhaps, it’s time to consider using alternative means of communication. Since people generally have different methods of interaction, try to find out what works best with your boyfriend. In relationships, one party must always be willing to compromise in order for things to work, which means you have to find a compromise for you two. 

On the other hand, if he has been ignoring you for way too long, you might want to consider reaching out to his friends as an alternative means. This will mean putting in the extra effort to guarantee that you get to the bottom of the situation quickly. 

3. Try to find out the cause

In most cases, finding out the cause of the silent treatment is the quickest way to get to the bottom of things. This is because understanding your boyfriend will let you know how to relate with him next time. Since there are many possible reasons why your significant other could be ignoring you, finding out the exact reason narrows it down.

He could simply be mad at you and not have the guts to confront you about it. Thus, the guy giving himself some time to work things out in his head. On the other hand, it could be that he never gets time alone and he simply wants a day or two to be all by himself. No doubt, there are multiple possible reasons why he may be ignoring you, but rather than pondering about it, you can make efforts to find out

You can ask him directly, or find out from his friends or other mutual sources. These people have to be closely related to your boyfriend in order to actively know his motives or behaviors. If it all seems futile, and you haven’t gotten any feedback you can use, then at this point you can begin to consider your options. 

4. Tell him it’s okay to call things off

One possible reason why your boyfriend hasn’t communicated in many days or weeks could be because he wants to call off the relationship and doesn’t know how to. Though this may not solely be true, it is definitely an option to consider. This is also dependent on the timeframe of no interaction. 

He may still be deciding on it or may have already decided, which makes the point that this guy already ghosting, or about to ghost you. Ignoring you may be his way of telling you to move on from the relationship or something else; which by the way, you don’t deserve to be treated in that manner. 

So, if you feel your boyfriend is ignoring you and it’s inclining to this point, you can simply give him the permission to end the relationship and save you the agony of waiting for his next line of action. 

If he’s too scared to say something about ending the relationship, then your words would push him to take actions faster, rather than keeping you in the loop. It is important to know that there is no right way to end a relationship, so don’t be bothered by whatever means he chooses to use. What’s important is that someone not right for you is finally leaving your life for good.

5. Show him you care

This point is solely dependent on what you may have perceived from his silence. If you think it’s not as serious as your boyfriend wanting to ghost you, you can express your emotions and show him that you really care about him and the relationship. This could push him to voice out about the space he has created, and make efforts to work on the relationship. 

From a different perspective, your boyfriend’s lack of interest in you may be a tactic to see if you really care. He may be trying to get your attention or simply trying to gauge your feelings for him. This means that showing him you care can resolve things faster than you think. In the process, you can shed light on the things he did that aggrieved you.

This will definitely get his attention, and make him recollect his actions towards you. He may be pushed to changing for the better and picking a better manner to act next time. Showing your boyfriend that you care will definitely reveal vulnerability, but is one tactic that can make him open up about the reason for his actions.

6. Don’t be overly pushy

If you’ve left tons of messages in his email, and sent countless texts, sending more may not be a prudent way to resolve things. Popular opinion denotes that chasing people would make you look desperate, and is something that can easily turn that person off, especially males.

Although it’s completely normal to try to contact your boyfriend when something as big as him ignoring you occurs if it becomes blatantly clear that he doesn’t want to communicate with you, it might be time to rethink your strategy.  

A person who hasn’t replied in weeks surely knows the decision they’ve taken, and fueling his ego by fawning over him with texts and emails just won’t cut it. Yes! You should definitely try to get a hold of the situation in order to understand what’s going on, but there’s a difference between trying to control the situation and seemingly trying to control the relationship.

You might be constantly trying to communicate out of major concern and care, but if he’s ignoring you because he needs space, and you’re constantly telling him to stop ignoring you or you’re screaming at him saying ‘’you’ve ignored me for way too long!”, he will definitely see you as pushy and may not respond.

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7. Be aware of the possible negative reasons for his silence

“Why is my boyfriend ignoring me?” you may still ask. Since this question can’t be particularly answered in relation to your current situation, it’s imperative that you are aware of the possible negative causes that could have sponsored the silence. One piece of advice isn’t to solely think you’re the reason your boyfriend ignores you. In a nutshell, your boyfriend may have secrets you don’t know about. He may be with someone else, or is busy doing something secretive and doesn’t want to be caught.

Coming to this realization will keep you prepared for any future surprises. More so, it will prevent you from overthinking all the possible offenses you may have committed. 

In relationships, interaction, and communicating with one another is extremely important. Thus, having to deal with being ignored is an emotional roller-coaster. Being aware that your boyfriend isn’t you may think he is, will help you analyze the future of your relationship, and decipher whether it’s really worth it. 

8. Be positive

This is a counteractive step in order not to leave doubt in the minds of some people reading this. Since all relationships aren’t the same, it’s impossible to make a basic statement that would pacify everybody’s situation where your boyfriend ignores you. It’s imperative to consider the situation where he’s going through something hectic and simply doesn’t want to involve you in the meantime.

If you simply can’t understand his recent behaviors but have strong feelings and die-hard trust for your boyfriend, then it’s important to take a positive approach towards ending the silence.  

Staying positive, keeping your hopes up, showing that you care, and positively trying to reach out is a recommended step to take in this situation. This is because the manner you decide to do things will greatly affect everything after it’s sorted out. Making assumptions will only spur up strife and possibly ruin the trust you’ve built in your relationship. 

9. Occupy yourself

Occupy yourself

If you feel none of the actions you’ve taken have been profitable, then simply try to do nothing about your boyfriend’s silence. Occupy yourself with activities and stray from worrying about it too much. This step may be the hardest to do, but creating some space without obsessing over the situation will allow you to think clearly, and then, you’ll know the right thing to do. 

Try to distract yourself in the best way possible. Go out with friends, treat yourself to something special, and generally keep on being happy. You can also consider hanging out with other guys too. If your boyfriend ignores you to the point of making it overly obvious, perhaps by still being active on social media, you may want to consider hanging out with other guys in the meantime. 

In common sense, this isn’t payback, but a fast way to forget about his actions towards you. It will also showcase that you don’t really care, and this is an excellent strategy to make yourself believe that you don’t. 

Seeing you with other guys can possibly make him rethink his actions. Nevertheless, if he comes running back solely because he’s seeing you with other guys, it’s expedient to ask yourself if that’s really the type of relationship you want.

10. Consider breaking up with him

Every lady reading this needs to understand that a relationship is a two way give-and-take street. If a person is doing something to upset the other, without considering the person’s feelings, then it’s a clear indication the relationship isn’t that important to them. One thing to realize is that if your feelings aren’t always put into consideration, and you end up feeling terrible, then you should probably rethink the entire relationship.

The manner your boyfriend treats you will display his true intentions for you; and if he has a constant habit of leaving you in the dark, one factor you should note is that he’s not bothered about losing you. Hence, in such a situation, you should consider breaking up with him.

Make a clear picture of how you want to be treated, and vividly determine if that’s how you’re being treated by your boyfriend. If they don’t match up, then moving on is the next best option you can take. Furthermore, you should use your experience to determine how exactly you want your future boyfriend to be. 


What should I do if my boyfriend ignores me?

If your boyfriend is ignoring you, it is important to try to communicate your feelings to him. No one deserves to be left in the dark for so long, and an easy method to get out of such a situation, is to express your feelings towards his behavior.

Why is my BF ignoring me for no reason?

People generally have different methods of handling issues. It may be that your boyfriend responds to situations by going under the radar. This may not have anything to do with you, and on the other hand, it could. Nevertheless, it is important to seek for answers in order to sort things out.

Should I call my boyfriend if he is ignoring me?

Definitely! Choosing to respond to someone you’re in a relationship with or ignoring you by keeping silent won’t resolve anything. If your boyfriend ignores you, you have to work hard to communicate with him, even if it doesn’t feel like the right decision. Nevertheless, this will bridge the space between you two. 

What does it mean when a guy ignores you?

It is important to understand that relationships with people come with ups and downs. At times, one person may require space and this may indicate being silent for a while. Though this is a prudent decision, understanding this will make you worry less whenever it occurs.

How do I make him worry about losing me?

If you have given your all in a relationship, and generally showcased how you feel to your boyfriend, it is however, still up to him to decide how he feels towards you. If he doesn’t worry about losing you, this may be an indication that you need to consider the relationship after all.

On That Note...

Was this article helpful? If you are going through such a dilemma, and constantly asking yourself, “Why is my boyfriend ignoring me?” remember to be patient with the situation. A relationship is no easy feat. So, try not to make drastic decisions, because you will eventually understand everything with time. 

Share your thoughts on this list, and share this article with friends at work or others having similar relationship problems.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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