It is common and almost normal as a single mother, to feel like you’ve come to the end of the line, in terms of your love life.
First of all, you have this lovely little bundle of joy who is solely your responsibility, you have to think of and take care of them constantly. If that is not scary enough, they seem to be growing at lightning speed!
As a woman, I can partially relate to this, having one or two good friends who happen to be single moms. As women, we all have those periodic and sometimes fleeting moments when we crave a specific kind of company. Not that of screaming, tantrum-throwing little toddlers, and definitely not that of hormonal, eye-rolling teenagers.
Just someone who thinks of you for a change, someone who is willing to cuddle up on the couch with you, watching Netflix late at night after the kids have gone to bed.
I can only imagine how single moms feel, having to stay strong and present for their kids while at the same time wrestling these feelings.
For many single moms who have decided to climb back on board the dating train, but are a bit concerned about who would want them, you’re in luck.
In this age and time, single moms have never been more accepted by society and guys are more willing to date single mothers, things aren’t looking so bad for the available single moms out there, cheers to that!
All the processes that lead up to becoming a single mom tend to take a toll on a woman’s mind, heart, and overall way of life. Most independent moms don’t have the time or energy to waste on pointless, directionless relationships. In the mind of a man, this makes them less likely to play games or stir up drama.
For most moms, no relationship is worth investing in if it’s not headed somewhere. In fact, the most responsible guys would find this reassuring, knowing that the chances of a relationship ending in heartbreak are significantly lower.
In addition to this high note, guys tend to lean towards nurturing women, they’re wired to love being catered to by a motherly/wifely figure. Guess what set of people are the most caring and nurturing… yes, you guessed right, moms!
The most mature and responsible guys love the idea of dating single moms, this is because they feel like independent moms are past the childish phase in their lives. Having a child to cater to automatically gives most women a degree of maturity.
It makes them get past all the unnecessary and stereotypical gestures and items most childless, single women require from their significant other. They are past needing chocolates and roses or expensive gifts as a compulsory assurance of true love from their guy. Also, they are more interested in the deeper, more important things in life.
They’re more concerned about how he treats them (whether he treats them with respect or not), how he treats their child, if he is dependable, responsible, hardworking and all the less materialistic things.
It is also quite refreshing for them to know that they won’t be expecting childish tantrums coming from your angle, cause if there’s one thing guys don’t want, it’s distress; the nagging and immature malice, among others.
When you’re a mom everyone tends to come to you for spare things like snacks, juice boxes, Band-Aids, pain killer drugs, or even advice. Most moms are always prepared for the unexpected, so they tend to be everyone’s go-to. To some men, this is a big plus! It makes them think of you as dependable, someone that can take care of them.
Not only are you always well-equipped with useful items but you’re most likely a good shoulder to lean on. To him, you would make a good support system, a great advice giver, and a great cheerleader.
I can’t stress enough the wisdom and maturity that comes with being a mother, even though it’s just a tiny upgrade from what you used to be in your child-free days, be well assured that you will not be the same person you were prior to your motherhood days.
Most guys can see this; they see the maturity, they see the wisdom and they notice the little tips and tricks that you have acquired over the years of motherhood. This makes it more comforting to them that they can trust you or confide in you. Guys like a woman who has one or two things figured out for themselves, that’s why dating single moms may appeal to more guys now more than before.
There are a good number of children-loving men out there, some men were just born to be fathers. So, dating a woman who already has a child could be the icing on the cake for them. No doubt, it’s always better for a child to have a good father figure present in their life, especially if their biological father isn’t.
Some single moms find ways for their kids to spend some quality time with their boyfriends, that way they can bond and build their parent-child relationship, just as yours is growing also. This way, your kids may get to share and benefit from your blossoming relationship.
Additionally, looking at things from a different angle, it is more likely for single moms to meet other parents. Taking the kids to play at the park, dropping off their child/children at school or daycare, and perhaps, even shopping on the same aisle at the grocery store could bring them in contact with a handsome single dad.
Most men who already have kids don’t mind adding one or two more to the mix, to make this even better, they can already relate to your lifestyle since they also have one or two kids of their own. Having a pre-started family is just as lovely as building one from scratch…maybe even better.
If we are being honest, when children are in the picture, things tend to get more complicated. Your newfound love may or may not be very keen on having kids around. Yes, the idea of dating single moms would appeal to them, but if the guy doesn’t like kids, then there’s a problem.
It is not unusual for a guy (especially the younger ones) to think the little guy/girl is getting in the way of their relationship with the mom, as a mom anything could come up at any time. They could get a call from their child’s school or from the nanny, on account of an emergency, sickness, or misbehavior, this could be a deal-breaker for some guys who like the thought of dating single moms.
Dates being cut short, meet-ups being postponed, it’s enough to send a certain type of guy running. Some moms suggest that dates should be at their homes, in order to simultaneously keep a watchful eye on their kids. These types of arrangements could completely discourage a love interest.
Especially for younger men who feel that the world is their oyster and is meant to be explored. Having them over for movie night almost every time may be a downer for them; the complete opposite of fun, that’s not their idea of dating.
Worse still, if a toddler or younger child is in the picture, who loves to run to mom whenever they’ve had a nightmare, it may be very inconveniencing especially if you both are having one of your Netflix and ‘chill’ date nights.
In a nutshell, guys who decide to pursue a relationship with any woman would probably want to enjoy all the perks that come with dating as adults.
If having a child in the picture doesn’t make things complicated enough, having the father of the child in the picture definitely will. No matter what type of arrangement existing between two single adults sharing a child, there’s likely to be a pinch of drama from time to time.
Whether it’s agreeing on what’s best for the child to eat, drink and wear or what forms of discipline are acceptable or not, this becomes even more complicated if your ex still has unresolved feelings.
Baby daddy drama is just generally not fun for both the mother and the guy that’s dating her, he may want to be the only one in the picture.
They may think that dating a single mom, who still has her ex on her tail may become quite toxic for them. Just knowing that anything could trigger a fight or a misunderstanding is very unsettling.
Wanting to take things slow in a relationship is most times the guy’s idea, men often need more time to decide if they want to settle down with the woman in their life, or keep dating her until they are sure. Dating a single mother could give them all the time they need since most single moms aren’t in a hurry to make long-term commitments like marriage.
They already have a head start on building a family, so what’s the rush? This fact alone could be quite comforting for a potential boyfriend, it would give him enough time to get to know his girlfriend in-and-out while also improving other areas of his life (e.g. his finances, health, career, personal goals, etc) in preparation for the next level in their relationship.
Another point to consider is that not all men like the idea of getting married at all, dating is enough for them. The problem with this is that almost all single women want a fairytale story, marriage for them is a big deal.
This is not the case with most single moms, as mentioned above, they already have half their fairytale story intact; their kids.
Some men find single mom’s more desirable, sexy even, the fact that there’s a higher chance for a single mom to focus more on getting to know who they are and not what they can offer (in terms of material things) is a turn on for most responsible men. Although there are always exceptions, single moms, in general, are quite insightful and know what they want. They would most likely avoid being in a committed relationship with anyone if they aren’t convinced that it would lead to something permanent or meaningful.
Yes, single moms have specs too, they aren’t desperate, tasteless beings roaming the earth. In fact, single moms may need to be a bit pickier than other single women without kids. Having a child dependent on you is a huge responsibility, a single mom’s first priority is their child, so it is obvious that they would prefer to be with someone who loves their child and is a great father figure.
It takes a strong and secure man to be in a successful relationship with a single mom. When you’re with a single mom, you just have to accept the hard truth that you’re going to always be the second or third priority in their lives after their children and career.
This depends on what you want in a woman and what type of family you would like to have. Moreover, it is unlikely that a man would make his life’s goal to hunt down and date single moms. If you meet someone whom you connect with and she happens to be a single mom, you may be willing to make some compromises regardless of the challenges involved.
Did you enjoy going through this list? I hope it has been helpful and has encouraged the single moms out there not to shut the door on the hopes of an active love life. There are plenty of secure and strong men out there who would be lucky to have you in their life. Please share your opinions and thoughts on this subject in the comment section below and share this article with your friends if you find it useful.