Things Guys Like In Bed But Won’t Ask For (21 Things Men Secretly Desire In Bed)

Last updated on June 15, 2022 by April Maccario

Many men find it difficult to express themselves. They are usually apprehensive to say how they feel or talk about their sexual preferences. Sometimes, they expect us to know what a man wants in bed

For such a sensitive yet important topic, a lot of partners don’t talk about it that much. The women don’t know the things men want in bed. More so, men aren’t sure about the freaky things to do in bed that will change the way both parties see the bedroom. However, both the man and the woman know what they want in bed, so why don’t they just ask each other, right?

Yes, asking too many questions may be embarrassing or awkward so why risk it when I can tell you more than 20 things guys like in bed but won’t ask for?

21 New Things To Try In Bed With Your Boyfriend

1. Take control sometimes

take control sometimes

Men like to be in control but sometimes they want to be controlled. Do not be deceived by the height, layer of muscle, or the ever-so-hoarse voice. Men want to be told what to do. I mean, think of it; he is always in charge, tells you what to do during sex, have you ever thought of changing the script? 

Have you ever thought of being in charge sometimes? Do you not think it would be nice to have someone else take care of things sometimes? Dominate him, show him the part of you that loves control; they like that. So spice things up and send that “meet me in the room in 5 minutes” text message. Let your man just lie back and enjoy the process for once

2. Good things come in twos

You read that right and in this context, we are talking about orgasms. One thing every man wants is to be responsible for that feeling of electricity surging through their woman's body. It boosts their egos and gives them a sense of fulfillment. 

Think about it, it’s why they try out different sex positions, bend you over, and turn you around like a piece of straw. They want to make sure you both get there (maybe even at the same time) and enjoy the entire process. 

One way to ensure that is to be open to new positions and maybe even ‘toys’ in bed, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. 

3. Three is not a crowd

Three is a magical number even in sex. The charm that comes with the concept of the ménage à trois is one thing men treasure. The idea that if sex is already mind-blowing with 2 people, an extra person won’t be a bad idea lingers in their minds. To some, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience, while others won’t mind making it a regular thing.

If your partner does like this, and he has not spoken to you about it or suggested it, that’s because of two obvious reasons. The first being that he doesn’t know if you are comfortable with it and secondly, he doesn’t want you to misread it as a sign that you are not interesting in bed. So, if you are comfortable with it, suggest it. Go forth and ménage.

4. Become a vacuum cleaner

I am not talking about cleaning right now, I’m talking about sucking his erogenous zones like a vacuum cleaner. No man will say “here are my nipples, suck them” or “I like my perineum licked” why? Because of toxic masculinity and ego, but they want it though, they just won’t ask for it.

So do some sucking on his ears, nipples, scrotum, neck, perineum and watch him squirm and call your name out loud in pleasure. He might not say this because they are not ‘manly’ words, but these are one of the things men want in bed.

5. All hands

Use your hands, all hands. There is this myth about hand jobs that men don’t want because they can do it themselves. Well, just because they can do it by themselves, doesn’t mean they don’t like someone else doing it for them. You better get on those knees and get into the hand action. When you are in doubt of what to do, let your man guide you.

Men love hand-jobs, the act in itself is full of twists (pun intended) and turns that make it feel satisfactory, so they would love you to grab them with entitlement for the purpose of giving them pleasure. Don’t forget that men are visual, they want to see; they like to see. Watching you twisting and turning is definitely a turn-on. So get to work with all hands.

6. Touch yourself

As I have stated earlier, men are visual lovers, they get stimulated by what they see. One thing they like to see for sure is how you pleasure yourself. He wants you to see him watch you pleasuring yourself. Nothing turns a guy on more, that’s what men want in bed.

So don’t be shy, be completely free with him. Make him run wild with pleasure and touch yourself in front of him.

7. Spooning

No matter how tall, big, successful, or macho a man is, within him is a big baby, and this big baby loves to be cuddled. He wants to be spooned and not only does he want that, he wants to be the little spoon.

It kind of gives him a sense of affection and love. Despite the stigma that men should always be the big spoon, he will like for the roles to be reversed sometimes. It incites a feeling of security and comfort and this might not be something he opens up or talks about, but he wants it, so try it.

8. Talk dirty

talk dirty

What does that mouth do?” Well, aside from eating, it vacuum cleans and talks dirty. Men love it when you talk dirty to them. Remember that dirty is just a word, there is nothing to be shy about, and there is nothing dirty about it. You want your man, and he likes it when you tell him you do, so go on and talk about it.

It is not always an easy task as you might be really shy at first. But if you want your man to feel good, then you can follow these tips on how to talk dirty and make your man feel good.

9. Eating dessert

I’m not talking about chocolates and candies, I’m talking about eating your man's ass, yes, his butt. Everyone has a butt, and for men, there’s an erogenous spot around the muscles in the region that makes them go wild. It feels good to have your tongue swirling around that area.

However, make sure you let him know you would like to do it and ask for consent because his comfort is important. Six out of ten men love to have their ass eaten, so get to it but first, make sure you get consent.

10. Knead the dough

The dough is your man's ass; spank him, give him booty rubs. It’s what man wants in bed. Many of them like being spanked lightly cause there is a thin line between pain and pleasure, so explore it.

Also, try grasping their butt during sex, it sends a thrill down their spine, but in a pleasurable way. Trace your touch from his spine down to his ass with little kisses then grab it when the tension is heightened.

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11. Sexual variety

They didn’t call variety the spice of life for nothing. Switch up your usual sex life, try so many things to make your experience interesting. Be adventurous and unpredictable, one good tip is to introduce sex toys. I told you we’d get back to this.

Learn to bring in new innovations, overstep your boundaries, come out of your comfort zone provided it is healthy for the both of you. Leave that single sex position, and try using sex toys to stimulate certain areas even more.

12. To be teased

Men love being teased, it does not matter if you are far away or close by. Send a text message to him. Tell him you are touching yourself at the mere thought of him. Let him know what he is doing to you once he gets back home.

You can even brush your ass against his crotch as you walk past him, give him a glimpse of what you are wearing underneath, or even walk past him as he is working from home in your sexiest lingerie piece. Imagine the build-up between the two of you before you make it to the bedroom.

13. To Initiate sex more

Men like to feel wanted, they want you to want them. Don’t be used to your man initiating sex all the time. You were taught so in books and in movies that men initiate sex, but the truth is he wants you to initiate it too, it makes him feel desired and wanted.

It is a huge turn-on, try it with your man and surprise him in a sexually awesome way. Just make sure he isn’t doing something too important before luring him away into your nest.

14. Confidence

Every man wants a confident woman. There is nothing sexier than a woman that is confident. He wants your actions to show how comfortable you are in your own skin, the way you talk to him, the way you hold him, the way you say his name.

Confidence is undeniably sexy and your man might not necessarily say “hey babe, be confident in all your sexual dealings” but I can assure you that he loves to see it. So be confident and own it.

15. Feedback

Don’t just lie in bed during sex looking or waiting for your man to finish. Remember that sex is to be enjoyed by both of you. He wants feedback, he wants to know if he is doing it right. So, don’t be passive. Moan out of pleasure when you enjoy what he’s doing, what student doesn’t like to be praised?

If he is not doing it well, let him know too. Direct him, nobody knows your body better than you, so give him feedback so that you don’t have to endure whatever he is not doing right a second time.

16. Communication 

The importance of communication cannot be over-emphasized. Men have been given the mantle ever since the beginning of time to talk and think about sex (we don’t know who gave them the mantle though) but books and movies have taught us that men have to talk about sex and what they want.

I am sure your man wants a change already. He is tired of doing the heavy lifting and always doing the talks about sex. It’s your time to communicate what you want. It makes him feel like you know what you want.

17. Your fantasies matter

Your fantasies are what you imagine and what you’d like to happen. Break away from the normal sex routine and tell your man what your wildest fantasy is.

I can assure you that he wants to know and be the man to fulfill them. It is an ego booster for him. So, let him know. Win in two ways; boost his ego and live your fantasy. You deserve it!

18. Total submission

total submission

This is not the 1800s, and I am not telling you to submit to a man, you are not an assignment. I am talking about submitting sexually. Men want to be given total submission sometimes during sex. He wants to know that you enjoy him being in control.

So submit to him, let him get turned on watching you surrender to him sexually. As long as it’s within what you consider safe, then you can go ahead and test the limits.

19. Smell nice

You don’t have to break the bank to smell nice. Tickle his senses with a fruity or nutty perfume, chocolate scents, almond milk, and honey or a mild flowery scent will do the trick.

I’m not telling you to spray perfume on your intimate areas. Don’t mess with the bacterial actions going on down below; just keep the perfume behind your ears, your neck. Apply a little so don’t overwhelm him. 

20. Use the mirror

I cannot overemphasize the importance of vision. Men are visual, they are moved by what they see and act on what they see. So, you can have sex in front of a mirror, give him a view, he wants it. He does not want to miss your head tilt, your soft moans, your body movements, he wants to see it all.

Now that you know this new information, put your mirror to good use, give him first-class tickets to your one-woman show featuring him.

21. Watch porn

Men are said to watch porn way more religiously than women. This does not mean you cannot watch it with him. 

You can look for a porn scene you are really comfortable with and replicate the scenes with your man. Be his porn star, no man will say “hey babe, can you be my porn star?” but they really want it.


What guys should not do in bed?

As a guy, you shouldn’t be a “Tom, Dick and Hurry”. Women know you watch porn religiously and you want to slam it in fast and sleep off snoring. Go slow and indulge in a lot of foreplay. Also, don’t engage in any ‘extraordinary’ acts without asking first.

What do guys like to hear in bed?

His name. I repeat, call his name. Men like to hear you call out their names loud in passion and satisfaction when they are doing something right. It is kind of like a positive feedback mechanism for him. 

What makes a guy weak in bed?

Many factors like his mood, stress, depression, alcohol, and even certain medications can affect a man’s sexual prowess. It’s usually linked to low testosterone, but sometimes, it’s his diet and lifestyle that gets the best of him.

How do you know if a guy thinks you are good in bed?

You will just know it if you are the best he has ever had. He’ll keep coming back for more, and will even tell you on some occasions. 

Do guys care if you have a belly?

I don’t know of any man that went into a relationship or a marriage because of abs or a flat stomach. Most men don’t care, and they shouldn’t. It shouldn’t be a priority but simply an added advantage.

In Conclusion 

I hope you enjoyed reading this article. Apply all these things in bed and have your man always begging for more of you. Let me know what you think in the comment section and don’t forget to share it if you liked it.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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