13 Powerful Signs Your Affair Partner Loves You

Last updated on July 4, 2022 by April Maccario

Being part of an affair is not usually ideal for love because you don’t know if he’s really going to leave his wife or not. Sometimes, you just have to trust your gut to tell you whether love is in the air. That’s never an easy thing to do because you are making assumptions about someone else’s feelings for you. 

You may be wondering what the signs your affair partner loves you really are, thinking, “Does he want a future with me, or is this just a fling?” If you are madly in love with your affair partner and want to see marriage one day, you probably believe he is your soul mate. How can you know for sure? What is he thinking in terms of your relationship and that with his wife?

Unfortunately, we’re not mind-readers, knowing whether a person has strong feelings for us or not, but there are things you can be on the lookout for to tell if love is really there (or not). No one wants to waste time with the wrong person, so in this article, we’ll look at the true signs your affair partner is head over heels in love with you.

Signs Your Affair Partner Is In Love with You

1. He has committed to only being with you

What has your man said about having a long-term relationship with you? If he has actually filed for divorce or separated from his spouse to be with you, that is a positive sign that he is looking forward to having a future with you. To have an affair with a happy ending, you need to be with someone who is serious about being with only you.

How well does he listen to what you have to say? I don’t mean listening by just hearing what you say and repeating it back; anyone can do that. I mean listening to what you say without interruption, without thinking about what he wants to say next, and without judging you for your opinions. 

A positive listening experience involves both parties giving each other feedback, asking relevant, appropriate questions, and not being distracted by anything else. Instead, when you speak, he’s captivated. If your man is like that, you have a keeper there. He is enamored with you, looking forward to every word that comes out of your mouth! 

2. He cherishes each moment with you

Does he stop and smell the roses with you? Does he love every moment he gets to spend with you? You can probably tell this by the reaction he has when you are together. Does he get excited and happy when you are together? Does he get sad and upset when the two of you have to part ways? That’s a really great sign that he only wants you.

3. He spends a lot of time with you

A married man (or woman) has many commitments, including work and his family. If he makes it a point to spend lots of time with you, you know he is happy to sacrifice time he could devote to other things to just being around you - even for just a minute. You are truly the girl that’s on his mind day and night!

4. He talks about you and your relationship

If your man doesn’t skirt around the issue of your relationship, that means that he really thinks about you and the relationship you share with one another. You can bet you are on his mind when you aren’t together if he brings up your relationship when you talk. 

He probably thinks about you more than you know (and maybe more than he wants you to know). Unlike women, men often don’t want to appear vulnerable, so they do not admit when they have feelings, but they do have them. They just fear rejection, so they keep them hidden away. Keep chipping away, and you’ll get to his heart soon enough!

5. He is focused on his future with you

he is focused on his future with you

Like the last point, a man who thinks about you in the long-term really wants your relationship to go somewhere. He’s looking forward to what the future holds for the two of you. Know that his thoughts about the future don’t guarantee that he’s going to leave his wife, but it is a good thing that he’s not avoiding the topic.

6. His body language gives it away

When a man is in love, his body language can tell you a lot. Does he inadvertently touch you, mirror your behavior, have eye contact for a long time, or point his feet toward you? Those are all really good signs that he loves you and is attracted to you. It’s called open body language and shows that true feelings are involved in the partnership.

7. He does “little things” to show his feelings

To me, the little things in life are among the best. Doing tiny things to show he cares and loves you can mean the world. Does he pick up your favorite flowers, buy you jewelry, or call you just to see how your day is going? Those are all special things that a guy does when he really wants to show what you mean to him. Enjoy the little stuff!

8. He contacts you frequently

If your affair partner calls and texts you any chance he gets, you know he’s thinking of you quite a bit! That’s a truly positive thing in a relationship. It’s nice to have someone pay attention to you and want to show it by contacting you regularly. I love getting little texts during the day that show my man has me on his mind!

9. He has no problem taking you out in public

Does he take you out to eat without worrying about what other people think? Does he take you to locations where he may easily run into someone he knows? He clearly doesn’t mind being seen with you if he does that. That’s a good sign that he wants to develop a long-term relationship with you without regard for the consequences. 

10. He sees you for who you are

he sees you for who you are

You may notice him complimenting you more or ignoring his spouse more. Maybe his wife calls during your time together, and he ignores the call. He may compare you to his wife, explaining both her positive and negative qualities and how you are different - in a good way. These are all great signs that he’s head over heels for you. 

11. He helps you anytime he can

Guys love helping girls with stuff. It gives them a chance to show off their muscles or skills. He may just want to be your Knight in Shining Armor whenever you need him. He may even be around when you don’t need him. He just wants you to know that you are in good hands with him around because he will take care of you!

12. He cares about more than your sex life

Does he come over to spend time with you without expecting sex? That’s a very good sign that he’s in love with you. He may just be trying to get to know you better or just want to cuddle with you, being close and bonding with one another. Those kinds of relationships are truly special because you know he’s crazy about you for you!

13. He looks for common ground with you

A guy who wants to stick around for a while and has true feelings for another person will look for common interests so that you can bond together like a normal couple. He may discover you love bowling and goes out to join a league for the two of you. He might learn you love cooking sushi and sign you both up for a cooking class. 

This shows he wants to be close to you every chance he has because he truly cares about who you are and what you love. This is a very positive thing because he wants to find the best ways to connect with you on a deeper level (over just sex).


Is an affair really love?

An affair can easily turn into love if two people feel the same way about each other. Often, people get into marriage before really thinking it over and find that they haven’t truly been happy in a long time. This makes a new partner very appealing! 

Can affair partners fall in love?

Yes! At the beginning of an affair relationship, the two parties are typically in the honeymoon phase, where there is a lot of lust and sex, but over time, this couple may really get to know each other and fall in love with no bounds to their attachment.

How long does an affair relationship last?

Many affairs do not make it more than a year. This may be because the longer the affair goes on, the closer they get to being caught by friends or family members. If the married partner doesn’t want to leave their spouse, the relationship can end quickly.

Do relationships that start as affairs last?

Sometimes they do! However, there is always the chance that the person who was cheating in their marriage will do the same in their next relationship. In fact, the success rate for marriage drops considerably with a second marriage, which usually only lasts about eight years.

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.

It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.

Take this free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Why do people cheat on people they love?

Some people believe “the grass is always greener on the other side” or lacks the self-respect needed to stay in a committed relationship. It takes a lot of patience and care to make a marriage work, and it’s never an easy thing to do, so many people give up.

To Sum Things Up…

Is your partner married, or are you going through an affair recovery? How have love affairs worked out for you so far? What has your experience been like? I’d love to hear all about it. Please comment below, sharing your experience. Also, please pass this blog post on to someone else.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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