You cannot identify the signs of an emasculated guy if you don’t understand the meaning of emasculation. So what does emasculating mean?
According to the American Psychological Association, “emasculation is the removal or reduction of a man's sense of masculinity by depriving him of culturally approved male roles.”
Emasculation can occur as a result of so many factors. It could be due to stress from work, failure in a chosen career path, a broken marriage, or a relationship. If you want to know if you’re emasculating a man, watch how he takes cues from you or leaves most of the important decisions to you.
Do not get me wrong, men that take suggestions from their wives or girlfriends aren’t lesser men. Men that love and respect their wives will happily hear them out, especially when things are tough. However, it becomes something else when the decision-making becomes one-sided.
Simply put, men like these are threatened with bruised egos. They rely solely on simple male roles in life to maintain their sense of self-worth and may feel lesser when deprived of these roles.
You need to understand that you are not a psychologist/therapist; neither are you a savior. However, introspection is required on your part to be sure that you are not the reason for your partner's low sense of self.
With that said, the rest of this article will show you 15 ways to know when a guy feels like less of a man so you can know when to take a step back and act.
His esteem towards himself is low, so he seeks self-validation in the views and behaviors of others. He could take centuries to decide on something and constantly needs validation to do things.
Women who totally depend on him either financially or emotionally may end up draining such a guy, because he’s easy to push around. It is important to reflect on his past relationship and your relationship’s power dynamics to notice the pattern. You don’t need a soothsayer to show you a guy with low-self esteem, it shows in how he loves and behaves in relationships.
A guy with little or no confidence in himself is an emasculated guy. He has zero confidence in himself and always second-guesses his decisions. If no one is around to help him choose, he’ll have a hard time getting things done himself. Guys like this always look for strong women to help them navigate their lives.
This lack of confidence can manifest in so many ways; it can be a lack of employment, a mountain of self-hatred, lousy hygiene, or a sedentary lifestyle. If you're in a relationship with such a guy, ensure you're not the one that emasculates him. Stop dropping snide comments that can affect his confidence, comparing him with others, or purposely defying the basic instructions he makes.
He is the gang leader of the ‘follow the crowd’association. He can not think for himself, so he just follows what his friends do or what he sees other men do. He does not have enough confidence in himself, so he just goes with the crowd or follows what is trending at the time.
Men like this end up with women that either struggle to make them see they can make their own choices or ride on their weaknesses. They may end up making poor life decisions or doing something everyone else did, but end up getting a different result.
Men that struggle with esteem issues, end up being manipulative at times. They desire to gain a feeling of power and superiority in relationships with others, so they master the art of manipulation.
Men like this psychologically manipulate by exaggerating their issues to exploit your goodwill, and nurturing instincts. A guy like this won’t feel bad making women feel the need to pay their bills, defend them or stay with them.
You have been dating him for seven years now. However, it took him three years to tag the relationship. Maybe you even had to talk him into getting into the relationship. You are both financially secure; he knows that you want marriage out of this relationship, but it is just his indecisiveness at it again. I know this story sounds familiar. Well, here is the bitter truth.
One of the primary gifts of masculinity is making decisions and taking risks based on instincts, information, wisdom, knowledge, and resources. Men always make decisions and act fast on what they want or do not want. However, insecure men find it difficult to make decisions on their own because they don’t dare to take risks or suffer the consequences of their decision-making.
Masculinity can be expressed in various forms. One of the many ways it is expressed among adult men is that they meet problems head-on as the need arises immediately, and they do not run from them.
Nobody enjoys having tough conversations with loved ones, family members, or business affiliates, but you do it because it’s the adult thing to do. Weak men, on the other hand, avoid them. They give in to fear of rejection and confrontation and the probable fear of the responsibility to make decisions that may arise from the conflict.
I know this might be weird because you feel like insecure men don’t even feel so masculine and powerful anymore. So how then can they be abusive? Well, they recognize their state and want to feel masculine again, so they try to gain the power dynamics back the wrong way.
They attempt to frighten and undermine their partner to make themselves feel masculine again because they feel incapable. They try to undermine you and start with name-calling. Usually, with words like “stupid” and other awful words. They just want to feel like they have power over someone or something that’s not ‘strong enough’ to overpower them.
A man who has no confidence or cannot make decisions because of the fear of dealing with the outcome is emotionally immature. He caves back into his shell after you give feedback and does not take positive criticism well.
They are very rigid and don’t want to try new things for the fear of letting go of their normal life schedule. Remaining in such situations and just hoping that they will change is a bad idea. Tell them to act on it, or get help.
They are never available emotionally because they have feelings of insufficiency gnawing at them. They do not feel good enough and automatically think that they do not deserve affection so they don’t open up or confide in you. Instead, they bottle up their emotions and feelings.
“I would not have done this if you wouldn’t have done that” Are these statements recurring in your relationship? Is your man always blame-shifting and never takes responsibility for his actions? This is escapist behavior and is usually exhibited by emasculated men.
If you feel like something is lagging in the relationship and you are always getting blamed for it, you might be dealing with an insecure guy. They never assume responsibility for their actions and usually blame others for the cause of their problems.
There’s little reason why men that feel emasculated won’t feel angry as well. They feel weak, cheated, helpless, and all that bad energy just makes them really angry. Men like this are generally unsatisfied with the outcomes in their lives, yet do very little to change things.
The mere thought that they can’t (or won’t) help themselves makes them agitated and loathsome sometimes. Unfortunately, that negative energy is usually directed at women.
This is a common sign with emasculated men. They already feel insecure, so they see every man hanging with their woman as a huge threat and get overly jealous.
They suspect you and everyone around you of the worst of intentions. They look through your phone and ask a series of questions in a manner that is clear that they are gathering information to fuel their insecurities.
They have no energy or enthusiasm to pursue any goal or objective. Not to sound sexist, but men are known for their zeal and energy towards competition and succeeding. A man with no energy to pursue any goal may be insecure and weak.
Nothing keeps him motivated, and this might stem from so many things. He might feel this way because his boss questions his ability at staff meetings, or he is not excelling in his chosen career path. Whatever the reason may be, lack of zeal is a sign that he is emasculated.
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He might be controlling because it’s the only way he feels like he can get back his lost masculinity. He feels the need to be in control and has a faulty sense of entitlement almost as if his partner owes him total submission.
They start by isolating you from your friends and family. Then they slowly isolate you and control you in the relationship just to feel ‘manly’ again.
Men most likely pride themselves in either money, fame, looks, sexual prowess, or the other things that they’ve been conditioned to think, define their masculinity. An insecure man is lacking in one or all of these areas and will not want his partner to be better than he is.
So, what he does is assassinate these features and makes his partner feel insecure about her achievements.
When a man feels emasculated, he feels weak in character and incapable in every aspect of his life. He no longer feels like a man because taking control is what makes him feel ‘manly’.
You emasculate a man in bed by avoiding intimacy with him and by making fun of his sexual performance. When you do these two, the man begins to doubt his sexual experience and feels like his sex life is dull, unexciting, and un-special.
There are so many ways to stop emasculating your husband, but the surefire way is not to badmouth and shame him in front of others.
The best way to stop emasculating is to get busy, do things that make you feel like you’re useful to a cause. Also, learn how to say ‘no’, don’t go with everything others suggest, believe in your decisions, and go for them even when you make mistakes.
When a man falls in love, it is all very intense. He feels strongly about his partner and will do anything in his power to make her feel loved. He is intentional about her and communicates love effectively with her love language.
I hope you enjoyed reading this. And if you are in a relationship or marriage, these are the things that you need to look for to know if your man is emasculated. Introspection is also needed because you might contribute to or be the reason for his debased thinking. Let me know what you think of this in the comment section and kindly share this article if you liked it.
Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.
It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.
Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!
Very interesting! Your page seems interesting too. Do you or can you examine society's gender expectations and types that men and women internalize?
Also, I've always been dying to hear how women view these aspects of male identity,what their expectations for masculinity are, and what kinds of things cause women to view men as non masculine or less manly.
When I feel emasculated, I withdraw. I look for a safe place. This is usually work. Mundane work is the best. Something that I am good at; pulling weeds, cleaning the garage... It is also characteristic that the person that makes me feel this way loses good feelings from an emotional bank account. When the account reaches a level where the withdrawals are less than the deposits I find myself avoiding their company. I don't do this without letting them know what is happening, but I find that the problem is usually in their nature. And I ultimately have to decide to stay and accept their debt or move on more carefully so that I do not find myself in a similar relationship.