9 Signs He Still Loves His Ex-Wife

by April Maccario

It can be dreadful to find out that your spouse still loves his ex-wife,  it makes you question your place in the relationship, and wonder what the future holds. 

The mere thought that he’s not fully giving you all his love, can make you consider ending the entire relationship. You’re unknowingly in competition with someone who’s supposed to be out of the picture, and this can easily get anyone agitated.

Nonetheless, the sole fact that your partner has an ex can sometimes make you misconstrue his behaviors – even to the point that you believe every action indicates he’s still in love with her. This is why it’s important to be aware of the true signs someone is not over their ex. 

This article will bring to light nine prominent indicators that should help you identify whether your husband still has feelings for his ex-wife, or not. 

9 Signs He Still Loves His Ex 

1. He still talks to her

He still talks to her

In order to determine whether your partner is still in love with his ex-wife, you need to monitor how he interacts with her. This may not require spying on his activities but would demand some level of observation. 

After a breakup, the ex-couple have to navigate their new relationship, which most times depends on how the relationship ended. If it ended on a bad note, there are chances they would not interact as much, yet, if it ended on a good note, you might expect some level of friendliness, but what level of friendliness is really healthy, especially when he’s currently in a new relationship?

Truth is, anything that escapes the acceptable way exes should interact, calls for suspicion. If he can’t do without informing her about the latest occurrences, or simply communicating with her to see how she’s doing, then it’s certain that he hasn’t still gotten over her yet. More so, when he begins to hide some of his interactions with her, then it also calls for suspicion. 

In other cases, he may not hide his activities, but you would still be able to notice the red flags in his interaction with her. In a nutshell, if your spouse still talks to his previous wife on a regular basis, then there’s a probability he still loves her. 

2. He still talks about her

It’s one thing for your partner to interact with his ex over the phone, and it’s another for him to bring conversations about her to personal discussions. As his new partner, there’s a high chance you will develop concern when he talks about her, even in unnecessary situations. 

People tend to talk about what’s readily on their minds, which indicates that your partner’s ex is on his mind if he always has something to say about her, this also means he hasn’t still gotten over her. He may insist they have become friends over time, but if he’s not talking about his other friends that frequently and passionately, then it’s time to call his bluff.

Signs that a man is in love with his ex can be seen when he always has a story to tell about her, which may or may not correlate with the present situation. He talks about her likes, dislikes, and what she would do in certain situations, he may even start to talk about this with friends or loved ones. 

The sole fact that he always brings up subjects about her, indicates that her memories are still fresh in his mind. Though it’s hard for ex-lovers to forget their exes easily, his current love life should be enough distraction to make him focus on the present.  

3. He still keeps her things

One of the most common ways people keep those they love close to them is with little things that serve as reminders. 

In most situations, after a breakup, people tend to get rid of these reminders, especially since it would bring up certain feelings they want to discard. When a person takes this bold step to discard the things associated with their ex-lovers, it shows that they’re actually taking steps to move on. 

However, when someone deliberately hangs on to keepsakes, it shows that they don’t want to let go of certain memories or feelings of that person. This can be quite discouraging, especially for a fresh relationship. 

Chances are that you’ve tried to bring up the subject of letting these things go, but all you got was an excuse and discouraging feedback. 

If he still wants to have memories of his ex, then he probably still loves his ex, also, if he insists that you shouldn’t be concerned about the items, but doesn’t still get rid of them, it might indicate that he holds her in a special place, and doesn’t want you to tamper with it. 

This calls for many questions, and can easily leave anyone wondering how the future will be. Will he eventually let these things go, and start to love you wholly? Or will he keep on reserving a specific place in his heart for his ex, which you simply have to live with? 

4. He compares you to her

Getting accustomed to the way a person behaves in a relationship is normal, but taking this familiarity into the next relationship is simply unhealthy. Your partner might prefer things done in a specific way, but this doesn’t mean he should compare you with his ex-lover. 

If your complaint is, “My husband defends his ex-wife!” – know that whether it’s in an innocent or obvious way, it raises a lot of questions and might indicate that he still hasn’t moved on. As a matter of fact, he should be more focused on getting to know you and your individual personality, rather than trying to compare you to his ex.

If he’s not making an effort to understand you, but simply dictates a clear difference in the way you do things, from how his ex does them, then this shows that he loves his ex. Understand that comparison can come in many folds, he might not directly say it, which is why you have to be observant. 

For example, if he likes talking about the meals his ex made for him, especially when he’s eating the one you prepared for him, then it’s one of the subtle signs that he’s comparing you to her. He should be more concerned about exploring all the sides of you, rather than dwelling on the past. 

5. He’s not mentally present in the relationship

He’s not mentally present in the relationship

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not in a fresh relationship and that you still have to make effort to get your partner’s attention

If this happens to you, then it’s an indication that your partner isn’t entirely present in the relationship. The feeling attached to a fresh relationship is incomparable to the later stage; simply because the focus is on the both of you, and wanting to know more about yourselves. 

More so, it becomes a hobby just spending time together and being best friends and passionate lovers at the same time.  On the contrary, if you find yourself struggling just to make your partner have time for you, it shows that he’s not fully invested in the relationship yet. He may say all the right things, but you notice that his mind is constantly drifting away when you’re talking, or doing things together.

Being free and focusing on their new partner becomes a challenge for them, the fresh relationship might be a way to forget about their ex, and in most cases, ends up taking an emotional toll on the other person. If you wondering, “Is he still in love with his ex?” then keenly observe his participation in the relationship. 

6. He still has her pictures on his social media

Depending on the length of a relationship, most couples have pictures of themselves on their social media pages. After a breakup, the decision to take these pictures down depends on their present emotions, and their personal mindsets. 

Nevertheless, in a healthy situation, once a person finds someone new, it’s only normal for them to embrace the new chapter of their life and take down the pictures, this is because, in the long run, they’re bound to take new pictures with you, and show it to the world. 

If your partner refuses to take down pictures of his ex, even after being in a relationship with you, it’s one of the signs that he’s still holding unto the past. He might tell you that he feels it would be rude, or that it’ll depict resentment, nevertheless, keeping those pictures simply shows he still has some level of affection for his ex-partner. 

If he really wants to move on, then storing those pictures somewhere else, apart from his social media page, would be a prudent move to show to you that he’s willing to move on. In any other case, it shows that he still has affection for his ex. 

7. He’s still angry about the breakup

A common feeling that most people tend to display when they can’t get their one love, is anger. Other people might exhibit sadness, but in most cases, others would conceal their real emotions by being angry about the situation. After a breakup, you can expect one or both of the parties to feel angry for a while, but eventually move on. 

However, when one person holds on to anger, even after a long time, it shows that they haven’t fully gotten over their previous partner. Perhaps you’ve tried to bring up the topic of your partner’s previous wife, and he gave you a negative or bitter response, it shows that he’s trying to conceal his true emotions about the matter. 

If in any case, he wasn’t the one that ended things in the past relationship, then there’s a high chance that he still has some unresolved emotions lingering around in his heart. Your partner may not respond angrily when subjects about his previous wife are brought up, but try to observe his actions with other subjects concerning his previous wife or girlfriend.

If he angrily deletes all memories of her, in a clearly unhealthy manner, it shows that he has some unresolved emotions he’s trying to justify with anger, which could in fact mean that he loves his ex. All these, and many more angry reactions, can easily show when a man is still hung up on his ex. 

8. He monitors her on social media

He monitors her on social media

People tend to stalk their exes for different reasons, some might be monitoring them to ensure they’re doing fine, and in other cases, to ensure they haven’t moved on so easily. No matter the reason why a person constantly checks up on their ex, this only proves that they haven’t moved on from them.

It’s completely normal to want to know how your previous partner is doing, but this should be done sporadically, and not consistently. If you notice that your partner does this consistently, then it’s an obvious unhealthy behavior

It also proves that he’s not completely invested in his relationship with you yet, and is still focused on the past. You can decide to talk to your partner about it to see his response. If he’s evasive about the situation, then it’s a red flag. Nonetheless, if he confesses that he’s hung up on seeing what’s new with his previous partner, then this is the first step towards recovery, which is acknowledging the problem.  

If he decides that he needs help to overcome his desire to stalk his ex, then this is an excellent sign that he’s ready to commit to the relationship. If they are still friends on the App, it might mean he’d have to unfollow her so he doesn’t have access to her page, this will prove that he wants to get rid of the feelings he still has for her.

9. He calls you by her name

A flimsy but common mistake that most men tend to make, is calling their new partner by their ex’s name. This is definitely not a good sign, you can decide to overlook it for the first few times, especially if you know they’ve had a long association together, but when this occurs more than usual, then it indicates he still has feelings for his previous partner.

Whether he does this casually or during intimate situations, calling you his ex’s name shows he hasn’t moved on from the breakup. To give him the benefit of the doubt, you can express your worries about the name-calling, or ask him why it happens. His response will indicate whether he’s actually trying to move on, or whether he’s not. 

If he’s not, he might make you feel like you’re overreacting, without giving you proper closure on why it happens. This isn’t a good sign either, it shows that he’s evasive and not empathic towards the situation. On the flip side, if he is genuinely apologetic, it indicates that he’s trying to move on, and also gives a glimpse of hope that he eventually will. 

FAQs

How do you know if he’s over his ex-wife?

You will know when your partner is over his previous wife by his level of interest in you. If he’s actively spending time with you in order to build a profitable relationship with you, without being bothered about what his wife is up to, then he’s indeed over his wife. Also, if he’s eager to make plans for the future, then he’s definitely not hung up on the past. 

How long does it take a man to get over his ex-wife?

According to research, it can take a man an average of two to three years to fully get over his previous partner. Nonetheless, this is dependent on the magnitude of love he had for her before. It also depends on his willingness to find someone new, and focus on the future. If all these aren’t present, then it might take a longer time for him to get over his former partner. 

What do I do if he still loves his ex?

If you find out that your man loves his previous partner, you should observe his willingness to get over her. If he’s actively making efforts, then you should consider waiting for him. On the contrary, if there are no signs of improvements and you feel like a rebound, then you should consider finding someone new. 

Do ex-husbands miss their wives?

Ex husbands are bound to miss their wives, especially if they shared a great amount of love with them. It will take some time for them to stop missing them, and eventually move on, but this is based on the personal efforts they make. If they focus more on their present relationships and look towards the future, they will eventually stop missing their exes.

How do you know he’s not over his ex?

If he constantly talks to her, talks about her, and is looking for avenues to either meet up with her or check up on her, then it’s a clear sign that he still hasn’t gotten over her. More so, if he makes you feel you’re overreacting whenever you bring up his behaviors concerning his wife, then it indicates that he’s not entirely over her.  

All In All,

Did you enjoy this article on signs that a man may still love his ex-wife? Even though you decide to ask your partner about it, know that you may not get the answer you’re looking for, also, understand that you’re not responsible for his inability to move on from the past. You have to decide what’s best for you, even if it means finding someone new. 

Kindly share this article, and comment below if you liked it. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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