Reasons For Keeping A Relationship Secret (13 Reasons To Keep The Relationship Private)

Last updated on July 4, 2022 by April Maccario

There's an excitement that comes with new relationships. You want to tell the whole world about your new partner, and probably brag a little. Although this is a good idea, laying low until the relationship is strong enough for public interference is the right call.

Keeping your relationship secret might seem like an awful idea, but there are some prudent reasons you should do so. 

If you're wondering if your relationship applies to this subject, we've laid out 13 healthy scenarios where it's completely okay to keep your love life away from the public eye. Keep reading to find out more.

13 Reasons To Keep It A Secret

1. To avoid interference

The primary reason anyone would keep their dating process concealed is that they don't want people to interfere. People are naturally opinionated and would suggest how to control your relationship in the way they want. 

They will impede on private matters and, eventually, start giving unsolicited advice. The best way to prevent this is to keep your love life confidential. This process allows you and your partner to grow together and form a unique bond without any third-party interference. Both of you would do things on your terms rather than being swayed by external advice.

2. If you have prying and pushy parents

Some parents have an unhealthy way of prying on their children's relationships. They want to know all the details and give advice on how you should handle things. Meddling in such a way can cause more harm than good to a growing relationship

Having pushy parents is another reason to keep the relationship private. Parents are often in a hurry to see their kids settled, pushing and pressuring them into taking things more seriously. This process can ruin many things, so it's best to be cautious.

3. If you get a lot of advances

If a lot of men want to be in a relationship with you, it would be best to keep the news of your relationship concealed when it eventually happens. A large percentage wouldn't be happy with your selection, since most of them hope to be yours. 

Knowing this can make some people bitter and possibly want to ruin your new relationship before it even starts. Therefore, keeping things private is the best call in such a situation.

4. If things are complicated

Although it's easy to state in your bio that you're in a complicated association, it opens you up to unnecessary criticism. Every relationship has one complication or the other, but vehemently stating this leaves your dating process vulnerable. 

It allows people to neglect and overlook your partner while making advances, which isn’t pleasant, to be honest. It's best to keep things private so that even after the complication is taken care of, you can move forward with your life without hindrances.

5. To ease off the pressure

to ease off the pressure

Every new relationship comes with a bit of pressure. You want to be on good terms with your partner while expecting them to live up to certain expectations. Even so, there is pressure to impress and make the relationship work. This process is much easier between the couple because they will eventually get comfortable and feel less intimidated

However, involving external parties increases the pressure extensively. People will have opinions on the new relationship, and before you know it, you’ll be too uncomfortable to be yourself around each other.

6. If you're in an open relationship

Although it's a modern age where people are free to categorize their relationships as they please, more often than none, saying you're openly dating can come with negative judgment. 

People will conclude that you have commitment issues, or are perhaps promiscuous in one way or the other. It also leaves you vulnerable to unhealthy advances from people. Keeping such details concealed would be your best call.

7. To make the breakup easier

Breakups come with emotional pain, especially when you put in the effort to make the dating process work. It's easier to get through such a stage when you don't have many people asking about it or giving unsolicited advice. 

If people disapprove of you dating the guy in question, it would be challenging to end the relationship, even when you know it's best because you're afraid of getting an "I told you so!" comment. So if you have a feeling things won’t last with this person, keeping the relationship a secret would be easier when the breakup eventually happens. 

8. To remain professional

If you hold a reputable position at your workplace, being open about your dating process will seem unprofessional. You wouldn't want your co-workers, employees, or employers meddling in your private affairs, would you? 

For this reason, it's best to keep things on a professional level by making your intimate associations personal. You can decide to tell a few people, but avoid sensitive subjects that could grow into a rumor.

9. If you can't handle judgment or criticism

All relationships are different – they have a unique synergy that may not apply to other relationships. Not everyone will embrace this fact, or the idea of the disparities. They would have their opinions on how your relationship should work out. Since most relationships receive judgment and criticism for one reason or the other, you should expect to have those. 

If you can't handle criticism, making your dating process private is your best call. This process will ensure you make the best decisions regarding your association with this guy. You'll also be able to learn from your mistakes and experience growth in a healthy manner.

10. To avoid negativity about your sexuality

to avoid negativity about your sexuality

The possibility of receiving negative comments about one's sexuality is a prudent reason to keep a relationship secret. If you're homosexual, bisexual, or maybe even polygamous, coming out on social media may not be the best idea. 

Such things demand time for people to warm up to before coming out. Negative opinions would lead to depression, lack of self-confidence, and other negative states of mind. So if you aren’t ready for all the backlash, it’s better to keep things private until you feel comfortable enough to come out.

11. If you're likely to give in to peer pressure

Peer pressure can happen in different forms – it can occur among couples or even with friends and family. Your partner can be open to the idea of sharing the dating process online while you're not. This process can create mistrust, especially when you fail to post about your partner. 

You might feel pressured to go against your principles because of them and open up about your relationship, which might be detrimental in the long run. Your friends can also pressure you into doing things you never planned, which can ruin your relationship's dynamics. 

Discussing with your partner about your desire to stay private can prevent you from being a victim of peer pressure.

12. If you're a public figure

Being a public figure means people are already in your business. They want to find out every little detail about you to share with others. Most times, making a dating process private is the best way to prevent anyone from meddling in your business. 

This process is also essential to protect your partner from scrutiny or any negative form of publicity they may not be able to deal with. If you want your relationship to last long, protecting it from the public eye as a celebrity may be an advantage.

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13. To keep nosy exes away

The past always has a way of catching up with the present. You can choose how events play out in such a case by either dating privately or letting the information out. If you decide to give out information about your relationship, especially on social media, you might be setting you and your partner up for stalking and unwanted trolling. 

Past love interests or exes can use such information to do detailed research on your current love interest, which isn't healthy

They can even go further by providing unsolicited opinions about your relationship to get to you. Plus, they are the internet trolls who will stop at nothing to comment negatively on your posts. The best way to prevent this is by protecting such information from the public.



Is it OK to keep your relationship a secret?

Making your relationship private can be healthy to some extent. However, it can give off the impression that you're not serious about the association, or are perhaps seeing other people. If you want to keep a secret relationship, ensure you have a healthy balance of secrecy.

Do secret relationships last?

On average, relationships do better when they don't have external sources meddling in their affairs. The couple involved is also likely to make better decisions for the association than being pressured by friends and family.

Why would a guy want to keep your relationship a secret?

There's a difference between making a relationship secret and making it private. Making your relationship private is a healthier option to prevent people from meddling. However, if a partner wants to keep an association secret to everyone, including family and friends, that’s very suspicious behavior.

What is a secret relationship called?

A secret relationship occurs when the parties involved protect their love life from people they generally share information with. Although this might be essential in some cases, an abnormal level of secrecy can be suspicious.

What should you not tell your boyfriend?

Bringing up your exes or your boyfriend's exes is one thing you should refrain from doing. You should also avoid saying something that will make your boyfriend feel less manly or incapable of satisfying you.

To Conclude

Did you enjoy this article? Remember that there has to be a healthy balance of secrecy in your relationship for it to work. If your partner refuses to tell anyone about you, it should be addressed as soon as possible. Kindly leave a comment if you like this article, and share it with friends.


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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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