You’ll likely agree that many wives consider leaving their husbands - some are for the flimsiest reasons. Despite these thoughts, many women can’t imagine a life without their husbands, despite their flaws. However, this can’t be compared to a marriage with actual problems.
Whether it’s a petty thought running around in your mind, or a serious option you’re considering, it’s best to get the facts straight first. Would the marriage work if you stay, or will things get better if you leave?
If you’re in such a dilemma, you need to be aware of the pros and cons of getting a divorce. Remember to keep an open mind to this, a divorce shouldn’t be the first option, but the last resort for a critical marriage that can’t be saved.
When a divorce happens amicably, it relieves the couples from unnecessary conflict, propelling them to build a profitable relationship after the divorce. This may build a healthier environment for the family.
A bad marriage inevitably affects the children in the home, no matter how old they are. Children know the difference between a peaceful family and one with conflict. Getting divorced may provide them with a happier life in a less toxic home.
Maybe you fell out of love or weren’t getting enough love from your spouse and marriage, getting a divorce allows you to focus on yourself, and love yourself once again. This phase is vital before meeting anyone who will love you for you.
If your marriage lacks commitment, then one of the pros of getting a divorce is finally having the respect you deserve. Staying in a marriage where your partner chooses another person over you will only affect your self-esteem in the long run.
If one spouse or both couples fell out of love during the marriage, getting a divorce will allow them to meet new people and potentially start a healthy romantic relationship with someone new. No one can really tell if the second relationship will be better, but it’s better than not trying.
If one spouse downgraded the importance of intimacy and sex in a marriage, then living that kind of life is a struggle. If these things are important to you, getting a divorce will allow you to focus on what you want again.
Having different expectations in a marriage will create some turbulence in the long run. When expectations aren’t being met, it can be hard to find a balance, but a divorce allows you to meet someone who will live up to certain expectations.
Domestic abuse isn’t a situation to consider in the case of a divorce. You should follow your guts and leave as soon as possible because your safety comes first. Staying does not guarantee that an abusive husband will miraculously change.
Psychological abuse may not be as critical as physical abuse, but it’s still a reason to get a divorce. If your husband is screaming, ridiculing, gaslighting, and overall, controlling you, escaping such a situation is the best option.
Living an independent life comes with many advantages. It gives you the freedom to make plans solely for yourself without having to compromise. If your marriage deprived you of an independent life, then this would be advantageous.
If your marriage has put so many constraints on how you should live your life, or your spouse has suppressed your dreams, getting a divorce allows you to finally pursue those dreams and be happy.
A divorce provides many with the opportunity to relax for the first time in a while. Since marriage comes with many responsibilities, after a divorce, you have more time to relax and do the things you want.
Amid all the dissatisfaction that can occur before a divorce, there’s a chance you’ll focus most of your attention on your marriage. Getting a divorce alleviates your worries and allows you to focus more on your children.
The first few days after getting a divorce may feel exhilarating, but you might begin to feel lonely after a while. Deciding how to sail through this stage is solely up to the individual, and the support they get from others.
If you’ve been married for a long time, going back into the dating world will come off as a challenge. Even when you find someone willing to start a journey with you, you might struggle to heal and try to love again.
Divorce presents a lot of opportunities and comes with a lot of emotions that can’t be suppressed. As a result, you might find yourself constantly talking about the new phases you’re going through. Hopefully, you find someone who you can talk to about it.
Finding a date could also be a struggle, especially if you haven’t dated in a while. Since divorce comes with many intense emotions, you might end up bleeding on people who didn’t hurt you.
The family court would probably rule on custody, so you may never have the kids around all the time. The time you spend with your kids will be exciting, but leaving them will be heartbreaking. You’d have to either watch them get excited to go back to their other parent or get sad to be leaving you, which will inevitably break your heart.
Despite having enough time to care for your kids, when you’re not with them, you’d have to think about who they’re with, how they’re fairing without you, and if your spouse is taking good care of them.
Although escaping from a toxic environment is what’s best, the kids might not like the idea of a divorce. Yes, the divorce would make them unhappy, but there are other factors like child support to think about. If the financial situation changes, the kids will suffer that too.
Divorce changes a lot of things, especially the important ones. One of the cons is that most of the holidays spent together would now be spent alone. You might get a chance to see your kids, but you’ll have to share them as always.
Along the line, you should expect your ex-spouse to get someone new. If both of you have new partners, you might struggle to find a balance in accepting their partners. Your new partners would also have to be open to dating a lady with kids.
When a family is together, it’s easy to remember all the important dates, memorable events, and celebrate them accordingly. However, after a divorce, even dates that are important to you might be forgotten.
Fighting to keep your children, paying the filing fees in the family court, or paying a marriage counselor will be a disturbing experience for you and your ex-spouse. Your children would also have to watch this difficult phase, knowing that their family is being torn apart.
The intimate moments shared between family, the ups and downs, the celebrations and losses, won’t happen anymore. You’d have to find a way to handle your joy and sadness all by yourself.
Crossing the bridge of being married to singledom may seem like a simple journey, but trying to fit into groups will be a struggle. Most of your single friends will still see you as married, while most of your married friends will see you as single.
Even though you now have enough time to spend on yourself, it will still be a struggle balancing dating and taking care of your kids. What’s even worse is that court cases might rip a hole in your pockets unexpectedly.
Finding a partner won’t only be about what you want. You’ll also have to consider if your new partner is good for your kids. Plus, you still have to worry about getting your kids to like your new partner.
Being divorced comes with its emotional burdens, like feeling helpless and ashamed of your situation. Even in this present age, many divorcees face social rejection, and can only find solace in the arms of a few understanding people.
A lot of friends you made when you were married would inevitably pick a side. Others would go under the radar, leaving you only a few family members to turn to.
You may not get invited to reunions, holiday events, or important gatherings from your husband’s side. If you do, you’d have to deal with awkward relationships with them.
The pros and cons vary for different people, for some, the pros may include getting happiness and freedom unlike before, but you’ll also have to handle the loneliness and emotional burdens of divorces.
Some of the pros include providing a safer environment for you and your kids, living your life, and potentially finding someone who values and makes you happy.
There are pros and cons to getting a divorce, but the cons include dealing with the pain of watching your family fall apart, handling a level of social rejection, and watching some important mutual relationships die.
Divorce can take a toll on the mental health of the couples, including the children, which is why it should be considered greatly before venturing into it.
The severity of circumstances that caused a divorce can indeed save a family, but every case is different. In one case, divorce may not be necessary and for another, it’s absolutely unavoidable.
Did you enjoy this article? Remember to consider each point before making your final decision. Leave a comment below and share this article if you liked it.