Pet Peeves in Relationships (51 Biggest Pet Peeves In Relationships)

Last updated on June 13, 2022 by April Maccario

Pet peeves are certain behaviors that individuals describe as completely unbearable, primarily due to their experiences with others. Although people can tolerate annoying pet peeves in platonic or professional relationships, it’s quite different when it comes to romantic relationships. 

Pet peeves in a relationship can cause a significant rift if things aren’t well managed. Someone could get so irritated and angry over something that it becomes a bigger deal than it should have. 

Something more severe could even cause a fight, confrontations, and resentment, which is why it’s essential to manage pet peeves in relationships before they get out of hand. This article contains 51 of the biggest pet peeves in relationships that’ll help partners avoid unnecessary confrontations in their relationships.


51 Aggravating Pet Peeves in Relationships

1. Keeping messages and calls hanging

Being unreachable or unresponsive is a pet peeve in relationships and a sign that you’re also too busy for your relationship. No matter how busy you get, there should always be time set aside to handle situations regarding your relationship. When someone calls you, if you can’t answer, send a quick text letting them know you’ll text them later.

2. Being late all the time

Being late all the time will make your partner feel disrespected. This act may or may not be intentional, but it’s still something that could piss your partner off, especially if he’s someone that values being on time. Although your partner knows you’re busy, make it a conscious effort to postpone a meeting if needed.

3. Acting childish around family

It’s quite convenient to bring out a different side of you when you’re around family. However, not considering how that will make your partner look is relatively insensitive. No one wants to be with someone that either embarrasses or makes them look bad in public.

4. Letting one person pay

Some relationships work differently, and in some, one party might not mind paying for everything all the time. However, depending on your partner all the time is one of the annoying pet peeves in relationships. Handle the bill, even if it’s just once. It shows that you care about them as well.

5. Being on your phone all the time

being on your phone all the time

Quality time with your partner isn’t only about spending time with them, but how that time is spent as well. What’s more important is giving your undivided attention. You’ll have to agree that talking to someone who can’t put their phone down is very annoying.

6. Being indecisive

This is one of the pet peeves in relationships that guys really dislike. Plus, there’s a difference between being considerate or humble and downright indecisive. First off, it’s time-consuming, and it makes you look like you don’t know what you want. That doesn’t mean you should rush to make decisions, it just means being more assertive and vocal about your choices more often.

7. Acting rude to other people

This is one of the major pet peeves in relationships because it leaves a wrong impression on other people. If everyone thinks you’re rude, it paints your partner in a bad light as well. It’s also a red flag because it tells your partner that you might eventually turn on them too.

8. Acting self-centered

Self-centeredness can cause significant conflict in any relationship, which is why it’s regarded as one of the pet peeves in relationships. There wouldn’t be any need to be in a relationship if you end up making everything revolve around you. You need to be able to consider your partner, as well.

9. Trying to change your partner

No human being will solely fit your description of a perfect partner. These kinds of pet peeves in relationships could tick off your partner because he expects you to accept him as he is, and let him change on his own terms. If you’re not happy with your partner, then you should move on. 

10. Not knowing how to apologize

Refusing to apologize can be annoying because it shows you’re not considerate of your partner’s emotions. These kinds of pet peeves in relationships could make the affected party feel drained and robs them of any closure from disagreements. Both parties will need to set aside their ego and apologize when needed, or else, there will be resentment.

11. Putting friends above your partner

It’s not wrong to value your friends in a relationship, but when you put them above your partner that’s annoying. If you leave your partner hanging, or postpone a meeting with them at the last minute just to get together with your friends, it could damage your relationship.

12. Friendship with the exes

Having a healthy relationship with an ex is normal, but being friends is strange. It could be problematic because it puts your partner in an uncomfortable position. The lack of trust from the situation would inevitably start to affect the relationship.

13. Being clingy

Being clingy can be cute at first, but it gets very old and annoying quite fast. Sometimes, your partner needs space, and when they can’t get it, it makes the relationship tiring. Whether it’s alone time or time with friends, your partner needs space to breathe so he doesn’t feel suffocated in the relationship.

14. Not helping out with chores

Aggravating pet peeves in relationships are ones that could make the victim frustrated, exhausted, and angry. When it’s just one person doing the chores, they’ll feel the other party is insensitive and unhelpful. Try to make an effort to make the home function well, no matter how little it may be.

15. Sharing your relationship problems on social media

sharing your relationship problems on social media

When you have a fight with your partner, and you resort to airing it on social media, it indirectly shows that you don’t respect your partner. You’re sending a wrong impression of your partner to everybody watching.

16. Walking out during a fight

You might want to cool off while your partner wants to settle things at the moment. Everyone has a different way of handling fights. Regardless of what method you feel is best, walking away in the middle of an argument is insensitive and shows you don’t care about the other person.

17. Not balancing social time

Pet peeves in relationships can also be not knowing how to balance out social time with others. In a family setting, if the husband keeps hanging out for long hours with his friends, it could become annoying. If one party has to cut down their social time for the other or feels they should be getting more, it could cause a rift. It’s always important to find a balance between the two.

18. Jealousy

A little jealousy can be cute, but when it’s excessive, it can become dangerous. Extreme jealousy is an unhealthy way to build a relationship, it could end up annoying or even scaring your partner. It’s important not to read too much meaning to everything, and take extreme actions, especially when not needed.

19. Not owning up to your words

It’s essential to watch your words to know what will be offensive or what might hurt the other person. If you’re always using the excuse of, “I was only joking!” to cover up for the things you say, you’ll end up pissing off your partner, and hopefully not for good.

20. The silent treatment

While your space may be essential for you to have a healthy thought process after a fight, the silent treatment won’t solve the problem, it will just end up punishing your partner.

21. Being a cheapskate

Being frugal with expenses is a good thing, but being a cheapskate or miserly, especially towards your partner, isn’t impressive at all. If you’re stingy with resources, you will fail to place value on your partner as much as you should, which will limit the intimacy between you two.

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22. Not enough time for intimacy

When important things like physical connection are not a priority in a relationship, you can expect a level of disconnection. In general, physical touch brings a sense of closeness, and when you fail to put it into consideration, there will be a rift between partners.

23. Being inconsiderate

It can be normal to forget to help your partner with little things once in a while, but doing it most of the time will become a major issue. Actions like buying something for yourself alone will serve as being inconsiderate.

24. Bad table manners

Bad table manners can be regarded as a pet peeve in every other situation. However, it’s much worse in a relationship. Being overly comfortable around your partner can make you chew loudly, eat from your partner’s plate without permission, and even spill food, which isn’t attractive.

25. Rubbing your partner’s failures in their faces

You may have better insight on specific subjects more than your partner, and they might fail to follow your advice. Regardless, what becomes a pet peeve when you rub their failures in their faces, especially when you advised them otherwise.

26. Telling others about your partner’s flaws

Though it might be funny at the moment, telling others about your partner’s weakness will invariably make them feel embarrassed as time goes on. Your jokes will become insensitive, which can create a major rift between you and your partner.

27. Acting differently in front of friends or co-workers

If you have a different personality when you’re with your friends or work, it can be a significant turnoff to your partner. If you’re unnecessarily loud, a suck-up, or perhaps condescending, your partner will feel they don’t know you completely, which will create some distance between you two.

28. Missing schedules and plans

Continually missing schedules and dates with your partner sends a message that you’re not as committed to the relationship as they think. It would help if you didn’t ditch your partner for friends or occasions but should be trying to make up for the time spent apart.

29. Selfish attitudes

Refusing to share your meals or allowing your partner to have a say in activities can destroy any relationship. Being selfish would make your partner feel like a liability in the relationship, and that’s something no one wants.

30. Refusing to ask or receive help

refusing to ask or receive help

No one knows it all, so it’s okay to ask for help whenever you get stuck. However, deliberately refusing help from your partner is a total turnoff and only builds a bridge between you and your partner.

31. Revealing too much information to others

Sharing too much information about your relationship to friends, loved ones or co-workers is a serious pet peeve because you won’t only be annoying the people listening, but also your partner. Understand that you don’t have to brag about your relationship to make it work.

32. Bottling up your emotions

You can bottle up your emotions to everyone else apart from your partner. Telling them, “You’re fine!” when you’re not is annoying because it will cause problems later. In the end, they’ll get angry you’re locking them out of your problems.

33. Poor hygiene

Proper hygiene shows that you care about yourself and others around you. Neglecting personal hygiene like refusing to take a bath, forgetting to brush your teeth, and especially leaving the toilet seat up is one of the pet peeves about guys that shows a lack of concern for your partner.

34. Not making enough effort to communicate

You might get away with concealing your emotions when you’re angry with every other person, but not with your partner. If you’re mad, try your best to communicate this with your partner, and don’t magically expect them to know what’s wrong with you.

35. Annoying body noises

Chewing loudly, disgustingly blowing the nose, or making a grunting noise while clearing the throat, are all major dating pet peeves. It can easily be overlooked in the early stages of a relationship, but it can be a serious bother along the line.

36. Cleaning up after sex

A little cleanup after sex is a sign of respect to you, your partner, and your immediate environment. The little things like tidying the dirty sheets and condom wraps tell your partner that you’re a team, and you’re working together.

37. Refusing to talk about a problem

This is a pet peeve that can drive anybody crazy. Knowing one thing is essential or bothering your partner, and refusing to talk about it even when they bring it up, shows immaturity and lack of concern for their emotions. This would cause a significant rift in the relationship.

38. Managing your partner

It’s normal to look out for your partner, but it becomes a problem when you try to manage their affairs. It would help if you weren’t going over every little detail to ensure they took the right actions or listened to your advice.

39. Messy behaviors

Leaving dirty dishes around, piling dirty laundry, and general messy behaviors can make life unbearable for your partner. It would be best to put them into consideration at all times.

40. Their ‘animal talk’ voice

There’s not much you can do to avoid hearing your partner talk the way he does to his pets. The best you can do is to endure it or speak to them about it, hoping they’ll change.

41. Unhealthy diet

Watching someone you love eat unhealthy portions and meals can be distasteful, especially when their health is concerned. If you know your partner is a health enthusiast, maybe it’s time to clean up your eating habits.

42. Bad sleeping habits

Acts like snoring or almost pushing your partner off the bed are pet peeves that can become a significant problem later on. It would be best to look for ways to manage these habits.

43. Being controlling

No one genuinely likes to be controlled by another person. Except you have a valid reason to tell your partner what to do, managing them is a major issue that can cause conflict later on. You can always pitch in your opinions, but never force them to do things.

44. Avoiding duties

avoiding duties

Paying little attention to what your partner needs in the home is another issue that can cause conflict. If they have to repeat their requests, it’s not a good look.

45. Lack of gratitude

Lack of gratitude can lead to resentment from one party to another. It’s much more convenient to appreciate your partner at the early stage of the relationship than the latter stages, which means it would require a lot of conscious effort to make it work.

46. Being defensive

Knowing you’re wrong, but choosing to oppose everything your partner is saying is a major irritant. It’s important to understand that your partner is probably looking out for you, and not attacking you.

47. Pessimistic behavior

If you never have something positive to say about situations, you would end up pushing your partner away from you. Being pessimistic is annoying because everyone needs support.

48. Comparing the relationship to others

This is one of the pet peeves in relationships that bites down hard. The more aggravated your partner gets, the easier it would be to give up on the relationship. Every relationship is different, so try not to compare yours to another.

50. Continually seeking validation

Your partner is meant to be your backbone every now and then, but expecting them to give you a confidence boost every single time may be asking for too much (at least for some people.) Sometimes, show that you can handle issues on your own.

51. Being an unreliable partner

Every good relationship is built on trust and support. When you’re consistently missing schedules, arriving late, and failing to do some essential things for your partner, they will lose all forms of trust in you sooner or later. With the lack of trust present in the relationship, things will merely be surviving on a thread.

52. Refusing tasks

If you have entitled behavior and are quick to refuse tasks because you feel it’s not your job, there will be a significant rift in the relationship. If your help is needed, don’t hesitate to help out.


What are your pet peeves?

Pet peeves are small acts people consider to be major irritants. This notion is most times concluded by their experiences with other people.

What are some of our biggest pet peeves?

Some of the worst pet peeves can include loud and annoying body noises, being entitled, neglecting personal hygiene, and being inconsiderate to others.

Can a pet ruin a relationship?

A pet peeve can indeed ruin a relationship if it isn’t handled early on. It would help to talk to your partner about your pet peeves.

Is rudeness a pet peeve?

Rudeness can be considered one of the many pet peeves, especially since most people can’t stand being disrespected.

What are your co-worker’s pet peeve?

Being condescending in the workplace or a suck-up to the boss can be considered annoying in a work environment.

To Conclude

Did you enjoy this article? For any relationship to sail, partners must discuss their pet peeves. Kindly leave a comment below, and share this article if you enjoyed reading it. 

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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