My Husband and I Have Nothing In Common (8 Ways To Deal With It)

Last updated on June 18, 2022 by April Maccario

Many people do truly believe that opposites attract in relationships and it makes the relationship more exciting if you are dating someone that is different from you. However, is this true in a marriage? Will the relationship inevitably get boring if you have nothing in common and you are completely different from one another?

It might make the initial stages of dating more exciting, however, being completely opposite to your partner and sharing no common interests may spell disaster when it comes to marriage. What if being opposite in nature means that you have absolutely nothing in common with your partner, no shared interests, and nothing to talk about?

Like most things in life, it is necessary to find a balance with your partner so that you are different enough for things to be exciting but not so different that you don’t share any common interests, hobbies, or opinions. But what do you do if you find yourself in a marriage with someone that you don’t have anything common with? 

My Husband And I Have Nothing In Common

As most people likely know, one of the best ways to ensure a healthy and happy marriage is to spend quality time with your partner. However, this can become difficult if you realize that you don’t share any interests or hobbies with your spouse. You are passionate about completely different things and his interests bore you, so what can you do?

There is no way that you are going to have a successful and happy marriage with someone that you can’t enjoy anything with. If you can’t find any activities or passions to share with one another, it is going to be difficult to ever reconcile your differences. However, it is important to remember that with enough time and effort you can save your marriage

There are a few tips that can help you in your marriage with a partner that is wholly different from you. Remember that you are not alone in finding yourself in this situation, and many people before you have been feeling the same way as you. Keep reading to find out what to do if you don’t have anything in common with your spouse. 

1. Find shared interests or passions

Find shared interests or passions

A happy marriage is one of the nicest things in life. Your husband is your support system and your best friend, he is the person that you do everything with and you never get bored of doing things with him. However, what do you do if this is not the case, and you share no interests or passions with this person, how can you save your marriage from failing?

The lack of a shared passion or interest may lead to a boring marriage and may also be one of the signs of a failing marriage. However, it is important not to lose all hope and to remember that there are ways to improve this situation. You may have had common interests at the start but you have noticed that you have recently been growing apart. 

If you are trying to reignite your marriage, talk to your partner, or think back to the start of your relationship to try and identify shared interests or passions. If you feel like you are growing apart from your spouse and you don’t have anything at all in common, this is one of the only ways that you are going to be able to save your relationships from failure. 

2. Communicate with your partner

Communication is the key to every healthy marriage and relationship. If you find your marriage in an unhappy place, one of the first things that you need to consider is whether your communication with your partner is healthy or not. If you find that you are unable to adequately communicate with your partner, this may be causing many of your issues. 

If you are feeling distant from your partner and you believe that you no longer have anything in common, one of the first things that you should think about doing is communicating these doubts and worries with your husband. You are never going to be able to sort out your marital issues alone so it is so important to communicate them with him. 

It is important to talk to each other so that you know you are both on the same page regarding your feelings and happiness in your marriage. Your husband may not even be aware of the issues and by communicating to him you will bring it to his attention. Although, make sure that you don’t blame him for the problems as this could make things even worse. 

3. Identify the issue together

When you have told your partner how you have been feeling and you are now on the same page, sit with him and have a deep conversation about the issues and troubles that you are facing together in your marriage. It is important to sit together with your husband and to try and identify what the problem is and where it started. 

It is likely that there was some stage of your relationship where you shared some of the same interests with your partner, try and find out how and why you have since drifted apart. Perhaps it was because one of you got a new job, you had a child or you just found yourself falling into the boredom of everyday routines. Whatever it was, identify it together. 

Talking to your partner in this way will help you to identify the issues that exist in your marriage, find the root of these issues, and figure out a way to move on from them. Look back and remember the things that you used to love doing together when you were happy and experiencing no marital issues. 

4. Make a plan

You may not have had a long list of interests in common with your husband when you first got married, however, there were likely a few things that brought you together. Try and remember what these things were and the activities that you enjoyed doing together when you first started dating. Keep doing these activities no matter how long you have been together. 

Remember the romantic dates that you went on when you first started dating your partner, remember the holidays that you went on, and the memories that you still cherish. Just because you got married, it doesn’t mean that you have to stop going on romantic dates and holidays with that person, keep planning to do these activities with each other.

It is important to keep the spontaneity and excitement of your relationship alive even when you are married. You need to always make time for dates, trips, or holidays away, no matter how busy your life gets. Even the time spent planning these dates will bring you closer to each other. Even if you can’t afford anything extravagant, plan a date at home instead. 

5. Have something to look forward to

The act of planning a date or a holiday with your partner will enrich your relationship and will bring you closer to each other in the process. It also gives you something nice to look forward to. Romantic dates and holidays shouldn’t stop even when you are married and you should always have something to look forward to keeping your marriage exciting. 

Think about the activities that you love to do and plan something for the future so that you have something to look forward to every day and to talk about until it happens. If you don’t have the time or money to go on holiday then try a new restaurant together or enroll in a new language class together. In this way, you will have something new to look forward to every week. 

The most important thing to remember is that you should both put effort into planning and executing these activities. It is important that you are both on board with the plans. Talk to your partner and find out the activities that he misses doing and plan some activities together to give you both something to get excited about and look forward to. 

6. Find a shared hobby

This may take a bit of thought and time to figure out something that will actually work for both of you, however, it will be truly worth it when it enriches your marriage and improves your relationship with your partner. Sit down with your partner and brainstorm all of the potential hobbies that you could do together. 

This is one of the best ways to develop a sense of teamwork in your marital relationship. Find something that you would both love to do and watch it deepen your emotional connection and intimacy in turn. It is not necessary to share a hobby when you are married to a person, however it will greatly enrich your partnership if you do. 

If you both do your own individual hobbies all of the time and you never really spend any quality time together, you may start to feel distant and disconnected from each other. Talk about each of your interests and write a list. Notice the hobbies that have something similar in common and try and narrow it down to a few hobbies that you could try together. 

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7. Enjoy the little things together

For a happy marriage, you don’t need to go on extravagantly romantic dates, expensive cruises or the like. It is most important to start with the little aspects of your life. If your partner loves to watch football, suggest watching it together with a bottle of wine and some snacks, especially if you have never given it a chance before, you may actually enjoy it. 

If your husband has never gone shopping with you, it may be time to suggest that you go together. It does not have to be a chore. Bring him along and see whether he enjoys it. If you can enjoy all the little and simple aspects of life with your partner, your partnership as a whole will be a lot happier and healthier

Make sure that you maintain a positive attitude when you are trying these new activities together and don’t expect everything to work out all at once, give everything a chance, and don’t force your partner to do anything that he really doesn’t want to do. Enjoying the small aspects of family life will enrich your partnership and make you both happier people. 

8. Exercise together

Exercise together

Another activity that you could consider doing with your partner is exercising. This is a great way to add excitement to your partnership while becoming healthier too. If you have children, you can also bring them along too and work out as a family. It is much more fun to exercise with other people, no one likes to exercise alone anyway. 

Exercising with each other can help you to bond, rely on each other, and deepen your connection with each other. You could set goals that you both want to meet to make the experience even more rewarding. This is one of the best acts that you could do to improve your partnership and ensure your healthy bond with one another. 


What do you do when you and your spouse have nothing in common?

If you and your spouse don’t have anything in common, your partnership can become difficult and boring. As the excitement wanes, it can become difficult to be happy when you are with a person that has opposite interests to you. Sit down with your partner and brainstorm possible activities that you could do with each other. 

Can a relationship survive if you have nothing in common?

Relationships can survive if you don’t have anything in common with each other, however it is likely more difficult for a partnership to survive without this. While, at the beginning of the partnership, it can be exciting to date a person who is wholly different from you, it can make it more difficult as time goes on, but that does not mean that it could never work. 

Can you love someone you have nothing in common with?

There is nothing to stop you from loving a person that you don’t have anything in common with, however, this can cause your partnership to become boring as the years go on. Sit down together and consider whether there are any interests that you share that you could do together whether this is a language class, going to the gym, etc. 

What does it mean when you have a lot in common with someone?

When you have a lot in common with another person, you share many passions, interests, and opinions. Having a lot in common with your partner can ensure that your partnership stays exciting as there are loads of activities that you enjoy doing together

When to call it quits in a marriage?

If you don’t have anything in common with your spouse and your partnership has become boring, it is time to look for a solution or consider moving on. If neither of you is willing to work on your marriage, it is likely time to call it quits. 

To Sum Up… 

When you first start dating a person, having completely different interests can make your partnership even more exciting. However, this can make your marriage become boring as time goes on. Talk to your partner about how you are feeling and look for a solution. 

Let us know what you thought in the comments and don’t forget to share this article!

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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