Introducing your boyfriend to your closest friends indicates that you’re really into him and see a future with him. Ideally, your friends are meant to welcome him into the fold with open arms. But what happens when the reverse becomes the case?
Your friend’s opinion has the potential to doubt your choice and turn you against him. This could bring with it a lot of tension and uncertainty in your relationship. Studies show that a relationship is bound to hit the rocks sooner than later when a partner doesn’t get the approval of the other partner’s friends.
First of all, your friends are not under any obligation to like your significant other, nor are you mandated to pay close attention to their concerns. Whatever reasons they may have for withholding their consent, you must know that the buck stops with you and you hold the swing vote.
You can decide to heed their warnings or continue with the relationship. Whichever way, it’s your relationship and you get to live with the consequences. However, there are a couple of things you could do to salvage the situation before it ruins, not only your relationship but your friendships.
Getting some solid information on the basis of their disapproval is the most rational thing to do at this point. For starters, it gives you a better idea of your friends’ standpoint and allows you to find out where their reservations lie.
Even if you don’t see sense in their argument, having a conversation with them demonstrates that you value and respect their opinions. In the end, you might probably find out there was nothing serious about it other than them trying to look out for you.
Worse still, they could be seeing some serious red flags which you can’t see for obvious reasons. If you really trust them, you should pay attention to any issues bordering on your safety and general well-being.
Seeing your friends react negatively towards someone you have feelings for may not necessarily go down well with you. However, you have to be open and receptive to whatever you may unearth from your discussions with them. At the same time, you have to remain objective to see if there’s any substance to what they’re saying.
How you respond to your friends would determine the nature of your relationship going forward. This is why remaining calm and cool is always advised in issues like this. If not for anything, it maintains peace and tranquillity in the friendship.
Be polite and composed when you respond even in the face of unfounded claims. You don’t have to believe everything they say especially when you know everything is fine with you guys.
Your boyfriend is likely to find out about your friends’ disapproval of him even if you don’t tell him. Trust me when I tell you that he wouldn’t be too pleased to find that out on his own.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with talking to him about the issues your friends raised. He may probably be in a position to clarify you on some of them.
By letting him know what’s going on, you might help calm the tension and uneasiness piling up inside you. When bringing up the matter before him, try not to stir up any animosity between him and your friends. You can say what you want to say without hurting the feelings of anybody.
It’s not compulsory that your partner and your friends get along so no need to beat yourself up about it. The best you can do is find a common ground where all parties can reach a compromise on. At this point, you should have figured out what your friends have against your partner.
So, it shouldn’t be difficult coming up with a solution to deal with the situation. They probably just want you to continue relating with them the way you did before you got involved with this new guy. Your mind should be set on finding possible ways to preserve both your friendships and relationship with your partner.
This is essential especially if you’re looking for an unbiased and objective outlook on the matter. Preferably, you should opt for an individual who knows both parties very well. You can also seek out the opinion of someone with a sterling character who doesn’t know any of them.
Avoid leaving out any details when talking with this individual as it may hamper the quality of his judgment. You have to be as honest and open-minded with this person as you are with yourself.
Most people engage the services of a professional relationship counselor or therapist. Whichever works for you, just endeavor to get a person who can offer you wise and unbiased counsel.
Most times, the best solution is usually the easiest solution. Their obvious dislike for your man might be predicated upon the fact that they don’t know him. It’s easier for you to defend your partner because you’ve grown to love him. But the same cannot be said for your friends who only react based on what they feel, or what they’ve been told.
You can start by inviting the girls over whenever he is around. This way, you give them a chance to interact with him and make up their minds on their own. Chances are, they may even notice how well he treats you and how happy you are together. Eventually, they’ll come around and appreciate your more.
You should only do this when you find out that the issues being raised are not serious. Your friends have no right to just be mean to your partner because they feel like, or for their selfish reasons. Every woman wants their man looking out for them, but how about you having his back for once.
He may not say it but he is hoping you side with him on this one and give him a chance. Your friends should love you enough to respect your decisions and choices. Standing firm on your choice of your partner shows you know what you want and they will respect you for it.
Going forward, you may need to draw some lines in your love life. The reason they talk about your partner or think they have a say is due to the space they occupy in your life. In as much as you value their opinion, they should be some areas that are exclusively reserved for you.
Nobody should dictate with you how you spend time with your partner. Most times, the issue is always that you rarely hang out with them anymore. Have a meeting with them and state your mind clearly and squarely. Though they may not like him, he’s off-limit to their mean behavior and attacks.
During the course of your consultations with third parties, they must have identified some probable things you should watch out for. As far as this matter is concerned, they have a more objective opinion than you do.
The red flags could be his anger, abusive nature, or history of breaking the hearts of ladies he has been with in the past. Yes, I know, people change but don’t allow your soft spot for your partner to rob you of your happiness.
If the cons greatly outweigh the pros, then it’s best you call the relationship quits while you are ahead. Or, deal with the issues they raised before it turns back and bites you in your face.
Try and find out the grievances they have against him before you draw your conclusion. Chances are, your girlfriends are only concerned about you and are trying to help you make the right decision. Objectively consider the issues raised and give proper thought to them. After this, you decide how to deal with them accordingly.
Getting attracted to your best friend’s boyfriend doesn’t make you a shady person. If you really value your friendship, the best thing to do is to keep your distance from him and allow the feelings to die a natural death. There’s really no need to discuss the matter with your friend so as not to ruin anything.
Inasmuch as friendships help us get through life, they can also ruin our relationships with our partners. This happens when they get too involved and cross the lines of privacy. Permitting them to speak on your behalf, keep tabs on your man, or make your relationship the subject of every conversation can drain the life out of your relationship.
Rather than complaining, criticizing, or nagging, you can decide to find a common ground and sort things out with your partner. Start by taking an interest in the things he loves doing and has a passion for. Start doing fun things together to enhance the bond between you two. This may just be the right time to take that vacation.
It’s natural for a lady to want her man around her all the time. This makes some of us very controlling and possessive beings. But a good girlfriend knows when to cut her man some slack. You may be feeling this way primarily because you don’t trust him or you’re simply a jealous person.
You’re not under any obligation to listen to your friends, but there are times when you’re going to have to listen to what they’re saying. I hope you found this post interesting and enlightening. Share your thoughts on the subject via the comment section. Kindly hit the share button for it to reach more people.