Meeting Boyfriend’s Parents (10 Important Things)

by April Maccario

You’ve been dating a really great guy for a while now and things have been going really smoothly between you. He’s really kind, funny and handsome, everything that you want in a partner. You have been on loads of lovely, relaxing dates and you have been having a really great time, but now he has asked you to meet his parents.

This should be seen as an exciting step in your relationship, it is moving forward and becoming pretty serious. However, even if you are excited about where the relationship is going, the thought of having to meet his family may be terrifying. Don’t worry, this is normal, everyone finds this experience a little bit scary. 

Perhaps you have never met a past boyfriend’s parents before, or you have and it didn’t go very well, at all. It is easy in this situation to work yourself up and to worry about all of the worst-case scenarios that may happen. It is likely that in reality meeting his parents won’t be as scary as it may seem in your head. 

What To Do And Mistakes To Avoid 

You might be really anxious to make a great first impression and ensure that his parents like you from your first meeting. It is important to remember not to stress yourself out too much as this will likely only make things worse. Remember just to relax, stay calm, and be yourself, don’t try and pretend to be someone that you are not. 

While it probably will all be fine and you likely don’t have anything to worry about, you do want to make a good first impression when meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time. There are some things that you should remember to do and other things to make sure to avoid when meeting his parents, so keep reading to find out.

1. Don’t take your phone out at the dinner table

The first thing to remember when you are meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time is that you make sure that you don’t take your phone out at the dinner table. This is something that will create an immediate bad impression with his parents that you may not be able to recover from. 

If you spend the whole meal staring at your phone, scrolling social media, and texting, it is going to be completely obvious that you have no interest in either the conversation or getting to know his parents. Ensure that you carefully listen to the conversation and get involved as much as you can, even though this may be a little intimidating at first. 

If his parents have asked you to dinner at their house it is likely because they want to get to know you better. There is no way that you are going to develop any kind of connection to his family unless you interact with them as much as possible and join in the conversation over dinner. So ensure your phone stays in your pocket at dinner. 

2. Avoid being overly affectionate with him

This is another important thing to remember when you are meeting his family members for the first time. If you want to make a good impression with them it is probably a good idea that you avoid being overly affectionate with him when you are around his family, at least until you all know each other better.

When you meet his parents for the first time they might find it uncomfortable if you are extremely affectionate towards him and spend the whole evening hugging and kissing him. Until you know his parents a bit better it is probably better to keep the displays of affection to a minimum. 

3. Don’t try and show off

If you have never met his parents before, you may be worried about impressing them. This may lead you to try and show off in front of them. However, this is not likely going to do anything but annoy them. They will like you more if you show them your true self rather than trying to show off and act as if you are someone that you are not. 

If you keep interrupting your boyfriend when he is talking, just to try and win at the conversation, his family is likely only going to get annoyed at you. Talk about yourself but remember to listen to what everyone else is saying to and avoid revolving the whole conversation around you. Ask his family questions too and do your best to get to know them. 

Showing off about your life achievements, your grades or your sporting victories is likely not going to impress them. They will want to know about you as a person so show them the real you. If you want his family to like you, remember to avoid interrupting the conversation and show interest in his family. 

4. Be polite

When you get invited to your boyfriend’s house for the first time to meet his parents you probably want to make a good impression. His parents will probably expect you to be polite and helpful. After dinner, it is probably a good idea to offer to help to clear the table and wash the dishes. If everyone else is helping and you are not, it may not look good. 

5. Keep your relationship issues private

Keep your relationship issues private

If you have had an argument with your boyfriend just before you meet his parents it is important to decide to either postpone meeting his parents right now or agree to resolve the argument later. It is probably not a good idea to be arguing with your partner while meeting his family. It is only going to be awkward if you continue the argument while you are there. 

If you decide to go ahead with introducing yourself to his family after you have had an argument, try and still be civil to him and act as normally as you can, otherwise, it is only going to make it uncomfortable for everyone. If you don’t feel like you can act in this way toward your partner in this situation, it is probably better to postpone. 

If you spend the whole meal ignoring your partner and being rude to him because of the argument you had early, it is going to make the experience very awkward and negative. If you are going to his family home then ensure that you keep your relationship issues private and between yourselves. 

6. Avoid controversial topics

No matter how strongly you feel about something or a political topic, it is probably a good idea to avoid broaching these types of conversations when you are first getting to know his family. If you have never met his family before, it is probably not a good time to bring up controversial political issues or opinions. 

Avoid arguing with his family about political matters and if it does come up ensure that you respect their opinions, even if they are different to your own. Don’t try and force them to agree to have the same political beliefs as you and remember that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. So avoid controversial topics when you first meet his family. 

7. Be yourself

When you first meet his family, it may be tempting to try and act like someone that you are not. However, it is important, if you want to make a good impression, that you are not fake and that you show them your real, authentic self. His family is likely not going to warm to you if you are completely fake. 

Don’t keep offering to help with every little thing, don’t force a smile. It is important that you remain calm and relaxed. Be yourself, and don’t try and act like someone you are not. They are going to like you a lot more if you open up to them, talk to them and really have a conversation with them, rather than worrying about keeping up a fake appearance. 

You might try and act in the way that you think they want you to be acting. Don’t pretend to like something just to impress them and don’t be fake or lie about anything just to try and please them. 

8. Be respectful

When you first go to his family house and meet his family it is important to ask him about any family rules that they may have. His family may be old-fashioned or may have specific rules that they expect anyone invited to the house to follow. If they ask you not to share a room, then don’t sneak into the room he is in at night. 

9. Bring them a gift

When you first meet his family, it is a good idea to bring them something. Even if your partner says that they don’t expect a gift, it is nice to bring them something anyway. It is better not to arrive empty-handed. The gift doesn’t have to be anything big, just something to show them that you care and you appreciate their invitation to dinner. 

Consider buying them flowers, a bottle of wine or chocolates if you are invited over to dinner. His family will no doubt appreciate the gesture and this will create a great initial impression. 

10. Relax

Relax

Finally, remember that it is not the end of the world if you don’t love his family and they don’t love you straight away. While you may have hoped that it would go smoother, and you would develop a great relationship straight away, it does not always work out in this way. It can sometimes be difficult to get on with your partner’s family. Don’t put too much pressure on it and give it time. 

FAQs

When you meet your boyfriend's parents?

There is no way to know when is the exact right time to meet his family as it depends on every individual relationship. If your partner is extremely close to his family, you may be more likely to meet them very early on in the relationship, especially if he sees them a lot. However, don’t worry if it takes a bit longer before he asks you to meet them.  

What to wear when you meet your boyfriend's parents?

When you are deciding what to wear when you meet his family, remember not to try and pretend to be someone that you are not. Wear something that makes you feel comfortable. It might also help to ask your partner’s advice when you are deciding what to wear to meet them if you are not really sure. 

How long should you wait to meet your boyfriend's parents?

There is no definitive time that you should wait before you meet his family. It completely depends on each couple and their individual relationship. However, if he asks you to meet his family and it feels like it is too soon don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel. You don’t need to feel pressured into doing something that you don’t feel ready to do. 

How do you introduce yourself to your boyfriend's parents?

Your partner has asked you to meet his family, now you may be wondering what to do next and how to act. When you introduce yourself to them, ensure that you are polite but confident. When you meet them initially, involve yourself and show interest in the conversation. Ask them questions and get to know them. 

How soon is too soon to say LOVE YOU?

There is no way to know exactly when is the right time to say I love you to someone. In some relationships, it may take months before it feels like the perfect time, in others, it may not take as long. Remember that there is no pressure to do anything before it feels ready, so unless you are sure that you do love him, wait a bit longer. 

To Sum Up… 

Introducing yourself to your partner’s family can be a stressful and daunting experience. You want to make a good impression and you want them to like you. While the experience will likely not be as bad as you may imagine in your head, it is helpful to know what mistakes to avoid when you are invited to his family home to make it go smoothly. 

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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