Life would be so much easier if we all just learned to communicate, and I don’t mean the deep visceral type, I mean most of the stuff we worry about would literally not be issues if we just opened our mouths to talk more. Relationships, for one, would be a lot less stressful, but I guess we are who we are.
That guy behind the “is he into me” questions you keep asking yourself is probably racking his brain somewhere trying to figure out if you like him too.
Maybe not, maybe he isn’t even thinking about you at all. If you could just ask him, or if he had the guts to tell you how he feels, we wouldn’t be here right now. Instead, you settle for a sign – or ten.
Nonetheless, maybe looking for a sign isn’t such a bad idea, after all, where words leave doubt, actions clear them. One just has to be sure to know what to look out for.
Is he into you? Why don’t you find out yourself? From his body language and some other simple things you’ve been overlooking, here are some ways to tell.
This is one of those bittersweet things women who have been happily married for decades look back to and just smile or tear up at. The time when all that mattered to grandpa was his Lizzy, the time you will probably look back to if things work out, and tell your children how you knew their father was the one.
How do you feel when you are with this man of yours? Whether you two are on a date or run into each other on a sidewalk, if he wants you, his focus will be on you.
Does conversation with him feel like you are forcing things? That’s not a particularly a good sign, but it might not be a cause for alarm yet, if things are new, he could just be nervous.
What does not bode well is if he keeps zoning out into his phone, blatantly checks other girls out, or seems generally distracted in your presence. You see, a man who is into you wants you, so he knows you are highly impressionable at this stage, and so is he.
Besides wanting to make a good impression, you are like a favorite food he can’t way to devour. Hence, if what happens when you are together is anything less than you having most, if not all, of his attention, he doesn’t like you like that.
The talking stage is an exciting time in a new relationship, no doubt. (I understand calling it a relationship at this stage may be a little ambitious, but we might as well speak it into existence.) Like I mentioned above, if this guy really likes you, you are like a craving he can’t curb at this period.
He is as hot and heavy for you as you are for him, maybe even more, the only difference is he will probably be less restrained in showing it. The man wants to hear your voice as much as he can, he keeps in touch because he wants to, and not out of obligation.
It is not so much about the frequency of contact or how long it runs as it is about the vibes you get when you talk. Even if you only get to speak for a few minutes sometimes, you know this guy really wants you by the energy he gives off when he reaches out.
It doesn’t mean you won’t ever initiate contact or reach out to him either; it just means he won’t wait for you to do it all the time. If the pattern of communication leaves you wondering if you are calling or texting too much (when you know you are not), he is most likely not that interested in you.
Have you ever been with a man who makes plans for the next time you get to see right in the middle of the current date? And I’m not just talking making another appointment in the middle of a steamy sexual rendezvous, that may or may not count for something. Do you know what does? An actual date or hang out with this guy, it could be a picnic, watching a movie, wall climbing, or a simple walk on the beach.
A guy who is into you doesn’t just want to talk to you over the phone, he makes future plans because he literally can’t wait to see you again. At our core, humans are hedonistic, but historically, men have been known to pursue what gives them pleasure more than women do.
Between overthinking and societal conditioning, women sometimes hold off on pursuing that which makes them happy, but this same age-old conditioning empowers men to take action and go for it. So, irrespective of how busy his schedule, he will make time for the stuff that matters, including you, if you do.
The same way someone who likes you wouldn’t leave it to you to reach out first, this guy would be just as active in planning the next time you two see, in a bid to make sure you’re still interested. It may not be a grandiose plan, but it definitely has to be more than a Netflix and chill.
Right from the beginning of time, men have attached their value to their ability to protect and provide for their loved ones, among other things. Even now, despite civilization, guys don’t feel like real men unless they can handle the three P's in a relationship.
Provide, protect and profess, I don’t particularly believe that this is just a guy thing. It is as inherent for them as it is for us, but when they display it, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When you love (or feel something close for) someone, all you want is for them to be happy, and you’ll make sure you do whatever you can to make that happen.
It can be a huge tell on the subject of interest if he manages to pay attention to your needs as much as he does to your beauty. When he is attentive to even those needs you didn’t directly tell him about, that’s your sign right there.
For instance, when you work late into the night, and he brings you a cup of coffee in the morning; or sends a “you can do it” text for that big presentation you’ve been preparing for, that man is definitely smitten. Nevertheless, it is important to note that this is not a ticket to act entitled to his support or anything else that constitutes ‘your needs.’
If you know how to read, body language is the most reliable tell on this matter. Those who say the eyes are the window to the soul are up to something. You can deduce a lot from eye contact, the kind that makes you turn to jelly, the kind that tells you you’ve got him, and vice versa.
Imagine you are famished, and your favorite meal is in jeans, right in front of you. Now imagine you are that meal, and he is you, in the least perverted way you can manage. Treating you like food and eating you up right there would be a little awkward, to put it mildly, not to mention illegal.
So, he will try not to come off too strong, but just enough that you know he is into you. Some of such cues are subtle and given unconsciously, you might even miss them if you don’t pay attention, but some are very intentional. without using his words, he’ll let you know he wants you by merely looking at you, or ‘reacting’ a certain way.
For instance, an open posture, smiles that reach his eyes, fiddling with his hands, or the blush on his face might be natural reactions to your very affecting presence, but leaning forward to be closer to you, maintaining eye contact while speaking, and those light physical touches here and there, he’s definitely doing that on purpose. His mouth may not be there yet, but his body’s betrayal is your win.
In addition to saving you the stress of looking for a sign, hearing it from the guy himself removes the possibility of the other things the sign you find might mean. For instance, you may think you have all you need to be sure this man wants you, and you may be right, just not entirely sometimes.
Where I am going with this is that some of the things we hold on to as the big, sure-fire tells may be nothing more than a mating dance. Yes, even these days when getting laid is as easy as a pea, there are guys who still enjoy the thrill of the chase, and in the process, give off mixed signals.
At the end of the day, the only person who knows for sure if your guy is into you is himself, but as far as the tells go, wanting to know all about you, is about as close as it gets. It could help to understand that the guys who just want to play, don’t want you to lay your business on them heavy.
If your Mr. ‘what’s his name’ is insatiable in his curiosity about you, that sure is a good sign. You will notice he will ask questions about you a lot. He wants to know what makes you tick, how you get when you talk about something you are passionate about, your interests, and future plans to see how best to introduce his real self to you, it’s either that, or he’s a serial killer.
Guys are popular for many things, but the ability to carry and continue conversations isn’t their strongest suits. Notwithstanding, when a man is into you, you’d be surprised at how adept they are at not just asking the right questions, but saving every data you throw their way in response.
It makes you wonder if they tune you out on purpose and blame it on their genetic makeup when they get familiar. Although, I admit we can be a little too much with our rants at times, pardon my digression. Curiosity earns him points in your “he does like me” book if you’re crazy about him (otherwise, it’s just creepy).
However, you know he really likes you when he actually listens to the crux of the words that come out of your mouth. How can you tell? Someone who is just trying not to be rude will probably nod and ‘hmm’ at the right time, but that’s about it. On the other hand, a genuinely interested guy will remember the littlest things you tell him.
He will remember the details you mention in passing, like your allergy or the food truck you like. If the conversation warrants follow up, he will do it unprovoked next time you talk. What you talk about may or may not come up again for a long time, but when it does, it won’t be as if the conversation never happened.
If we are being honest, no one – guy or girl – goes around showing their worst flaws to anyone on the first meeting, let alone someone they like. I understand some people are more accepting of themselves more than others, but even they keep it polished, to an extent. Instinctively, we all try to reveal our best sides first when we meet someone we like. For ladies, it might be the way you carry yourself, how you speak, how you chew, we might not even be trying to impress, it’s just reflex. Well, men do it too, and it’s called peacocking, you know how peacocks spread their wings to show off their beauty when you visit the zoo? They also put on that kind of show when they want to attract peahens when it’s time to mate.
It must be that all males are biologically wired that way because the ultimate species i.e., humans do it too, but not necessarily with wings. Dating coach James Preece calls it highlighting their strong point to stand out from the competition, i.e., other men. So, it is completely natural for a guy who likes you to show you only his good sides first.
Unfortunately, because the concept is only designed to attract, it is not sustainable. He can’t keep the charade up for long, so if he’s really into you and knows he won’t be leaving anytime soon, he would like to be comfortable with you. As much as he encourages you to be yourself around him, he’d want to do the same as well.
Those dreamy eyes of yours you’ve gotten so used to, the same set of eyes that only gets a second glance in the mirror on some days of the month? Yeah, he can’t stop talking about them. The same goes for your smile, your hair, your mind, your scent, the way you walk, your energy, practically everything about you.
An enamored guy is so taken by the things he likes about you that he doesn’t resist the urge to let you know... often. It doesn’t matter if he is a poet or a taciturn; he will find other ways to express how you make him feel if words fail him.
You know you are a catch (obviously), and you don’t need a man to make you feel beautiful, but sometimes it feels good to hear nice things about yourself from someone who matters to you. I assume he is such a person if you are so interested in whether or not he is into you. That said, compliments are nice, but if they are limited to your physical appearance, they might not mean much.
Anyone who has eyes can appreciate beauty, and I’m sure you are no stranger to getting one or two compliments from even strangers. What sets a guy who is really into you apart from one who’s just saying nice things to get into your pants, is that the stuff he likes about you are not only on your body. It could be a quirky habit or something else he picked up from observing you, but his sheer delivery makes you feel desired.
Finally, if you have to ask, consider the fact that he probably doesn’t, it’s really not supposed to be so hard to figure out a man who has feelings for you. Forget words, what does your gut tell you? Some people say woman’s intuition is a myth, but I know for a fact that it’s worked for me more times than I can count.
From his facial expressions to the vibes he gives off, he is so full of clues that you only need to interact with him a couple of times to know his mind. Sometimes, all it takes is a single look to see this one has the hots for you. Other times, it’s not that straight forward, but if you pay enough attention, you just know.
It’s one thing if you know, but for some reason, you think it’s too good to be true, so you convince yourself he doesn’t. It’s a whole other ballgame when your antenna picks something up, but you are not sure what it means, in which case this list would be a handy guide.
If you get no signal whatsoever from him or get the opposite of any of the items on this list, then it might do you some good to accept that he isn’t into you. When the one who truly is comes along, you won’t have to scrutinize every word or move he makes to get your answer.
When a man touches his face when looking at you, it can mean a number of things. If he does it alongside other gestures that suggest he is nervous around you, it might be because he likes you. However, it could just as easily mean that he likes to touch his face when he’s idle.
In this case, your intuition has to take the lead, your relationship with this person feels right to you personally, not just something you tell your friends and family. They may not be your ‘ideal type’ of a partner, but within yourself, you know even that ideal type – if they exist – couldn’t do better.
You can look out for signs such as how they act around you, see if your crush pays you special attention, or goes out of their way to make you notice them. If they also seem particularly curious about you and listen to what you have to say, they probably like you. Of course, the only way to be sure is if they tell you.
Contrary to popular opinion, not everything a guy says has hidden meaning. If he tells you he is single, that’s probably because he is emotionally unattached at the moment. Of course, since he is human, there is always a possibility that he is lying, but the only person who knows for sure is him.
Touching is one of the ways guys know how to flirt, if you and he have been talking, touching you might be him letting you know he’s attracted to you physically. It is, however, not okay if it makes you uncomfortable, and you have a right to ask him to stop.
I know all you want are answers, and as much as I hope this list helps put things in perspective, I hope you smiled while reading it. Believe me, these feelings eventually sort themselves out, and they are usually worth the wait when they do.
Notwithstanding, matters of the heart are relatable to most, so feel free to strike a conversation with ladies going through something similar in the comment section. Also, share the article if you enjoyed it.