Being in love is beautiful, and it comes with a lot of sacrifices. Regardless of your partner’s race, you will have to trust and stick with one another. That’s said; dating someone of a mixed-race comes with packaged difficulties that can be effectively managed if you both keep your heart and mind wide open and face it together squarely.
Back in the old days, interracial dating was unheard of; our dating pool was limited to the people in our immediate surroundings. Worse yet, interracial marriages were unlawful in many countries, especially the United States. The good news is that regardless of where you are in the world, you no longer need to hide your relationship for fear of being criminalized.
Nowadays, the world is evolving for good and interracial dating is very common. Thanks to the internet, we have an opportunity to broaden our horizons and learn about different cultures. And with the rise of globalization, our differences have become smaller.
That said, dating someone of different skin color can still come with many challenges, and they are still huge misconceptions and presumptions about what it means to date a person of a different race. Luckily, I'm here to help you navigate through this with the following tips.
Being raised in a heavily cultured home can have a strong influence on your life and relationship. Especially, if you and your partner are from different religious backgrounds and beliefs, problems will always spring up.
For example, when you were young, certain ideologies, morals, and ethical education about the role of men and women were instilled. Unfortunately, these beliefs may drive an attitude of power and dominance in your relationships. And it's very unhealthy, especially in interracial relationships.
If you and someone you’re with have plans for a long-term relationship, you’ll both need to sit together, discuss and resolve any differences before it becomes an issue in the future. However, this begins with respecting each other's culture. Remember, you can argue, but you can't disrespect. So, you must learn to acknowledge these differences, and also have open conversations throughout your relationship.
On the flip side, if the person you are with is not necessarily of a different race, but of a different religion, this can still cause problems. More so, it could be explosive if you’re both spiritually inclined, especially where there’s a need to have one place of worship.
You might have come across the phrase, “language of love”, but what if this love is spoken in a different language? Although a third language like English can be used to communicate in relationships, this doesn't change the fact that there will be a problem in the language barrier.
When faced with this kind of problem, it’s vital to be patient with your partner. No doubt, it will take some time for both of you to learn each other's language, and even adjust to using a third language.
In such cases, having a sense of humor will go a long way because misunderstandings do happen. Imagine these two words embarazada in Spanish and embarrassed in English. Both sound the same right? But they mean different things. Embarazada means "pregnant", imagine the mix-up this will cause. The whole idea is to laugh and have fun while learning.
Finally, learn to communicate with your partner efficiently, if both of you are not constantly talking, it means the language barrier is already creeping in. So, understand people have different communication styles, some statements might sound blunt to you, but honest to your partner.
For a healthy interracial relationship, Margaret Paul mentioned in one of her articles on Huffington Post, that people must learn to be free and accept each other. One person doesn't have to change their cultural standards, religion, or values for the other person. Instead, they should understand each other's background, upbringing, and the way they think.
For the most part, a good relationship is all about balance. But sometimes, people sacrifice a lot and tend to lose themselves in it. When this happens, the relationship will lose its fire which will likely diminish the unique traits that attracted one person to the other.
Still on the topic of identity, one other pro tip is to try not to force your beliefs on your partner’s life; it’s wrong to criticize every little thing they do and the places they go, just because it's not in place with your racial or religious beliefs. Rather, try to appreciate what makes them different.
When in an interracial relationship, to fully understand your partner, it's vital to study their racial background. You have to be curious and open-minded to learn about their culture, so whether they’re yet to invite you to a cultural get together with a family member, you'll likely find yourself there sooner or later. I know this can sound very difficult, but having knowledge beforehand will certainly help ease potential misunderstandings in the future.
Additionally, before starting a relationship with someone from a different racial background, it would be wise to learn about their cultural values to know whether it's compatible with yours. But, since you're already dating, it's not late to still do that.
Maybe, start with studying your partner's country of origin, learn about their family history, and ask questions involving their ideas and beliefs. Make it a habit to listen to your partner and not try to judge or compare them with other races. And remember, just because you have studied a certain culture, it will be wrong to assume your partner acts like that.
Interracial couples not only have to deal with cultural differences but also differences in values. Our different racial backgrounds, in various ways, have a great impact on us, and it has affected our values, thought patterns, and even our way of life.
For instance, if one person comes from a culture that values wealth creation and is business inclined, they will find it difficult to cope with a partner from a culture who seems to live a relaxed refreshing life. The key to tackling this is to honor your similarities and not your differences.
Remember, every relationship needs a neutral ground. So, try to focus on similar values with your significant other. You don't have to give up on them because they don't share your values and beliefs.
All relationships are tough, let alone an interracial relationship. And when the topic of racism shows its nasty face, it’s something we all try to hide away from. Maybe, as a couple, you think your love for each other means that racism is irrelevant; but it could become a problem if other people (including your partner's family and friends) don't accept you.
People might instigate unnecessary quarrels on why someone from a different race is no good. More so, trying to brush off these derogatory comments and remarks may lead to a breakdown in communication with family members and other people you love.
In such situations, always reassure your partner that you still love and want them in your life and you're standing by them, no matter what. Also, do well to inform other people that your relationships are not their business.
On the flip side, if the attack is coming from your partner's family, assure them of how much you love and cherish that person. Worse yet, if your partner's family doesn't want you to be in their life, don't be aggressive and defensive. Discuss it with your partner and reaccess each other's feelings. If you want to be defensive, it may lead to more tension, and this could stir up arguments.
If you have any long term plans with someone you are dating, meeting their loved ones is something you can’t avoid. However, don't just assume that you'll be rejected or accepted, in fact, they’ll likely be very curious about you. Also, keep in mind that the old generation tends to have conventional customs and beliefs about race which might make it difficult for them to understand someone of a different cultural background.
The best way to deal with this is to be open to the idea that people do not always see things your way, and it’s not always about race; generational differences also come to play. Yes, they might have preconceived notions about your partner marrying someone from another culture, but if you prepare your mind ahead of time, you'll easily understand their stand, and their preconception will have nothing on you.
More so, now that you have the opportunity to talk, you can show your true personality. However, don't be defensive in your thoughts, be patient, and allow them to adjust any racial misunderstanding they conceived. Being gracious and kind has a way of disarming people and it will be more difficult for them to find fault with you. By then, you must have penetrated their wall of racial misunderstanding before they will understand what is going on, they will have to rethink why they were biased with you.
Finally, look for their siblings who are in support of the relationship, and sign them up. You will be surprised how helpful they will be in influencing their parent's ideas towards you, and eventually, they might let go of their belief that their child must date or marry someone of their same skin color.
For people to understand the uniqueness of any culture, making friends is vital. This gives one the opportunity to learn about the culture of someone else from a first-person perspective. More so, if you are brave enough, try to hang out with your partner’s friends also. There's a possibility that they may not support your relationship; however, their reactions may come from their feeling of inadequacy.
However, involving them in plans when it has to do with your partner's traditions, can help change their thoughts and make them see things from your perspective. For those people who do not support your choices, or who try to come against you and your partner’s happiness obviously don't have your best interest at heart are not worth your time.
Rest assured that, apart from friends and family, you will likely face derogatory comments from other people. Unsolicited questions or abuse might even come from total strangers.
It’s hard to say how to react in such situations. You can develop comical responses to these comments, or if you don't have the time to educate them, throw a kind smile to show you don’t care about their thoughts. Learn to stand up for yourself, but always be polite. Sometimes, people might not even realize they are staring. So, if it looks intense, you can ask, a simple question like "How can I help"?
Sometimes, It's people that are close to you who may be throwing this jab, because they feel comfortable, asking those questions, or saying things about your partner's race without knowing that they are encouraging stereotypes that are offensive to you and your partner.
In situations like this, it’s best to ask them to clarify their statements so they can understand how their comments were offensive. Furthermore, take time to explain why the statement sounds offensive to you because most times, they might not realize what they've done.
Do you plan to have children? Or do you want a white wedding? If so, have you discussed it with your partner? What’s the point of dating when no plans are set between the two of you? Why go through all the stress? No doubt, if you both have future goals, you need to discuss it. No one wants to be left in the dark about what the future holds.
Realize that raising children with two different backgrounds might be a challenge, in terms of identity. From your kids having different accents, to them adopting different values and beliefs from that of your partner’s, there is a lot to keep in mind. In fact, your children might even identify differently from each other.
So many vices will influence them; from politics, to how they're being treated because of their skin color, and their experiences - all this will sum up to affect their values and belief system. Be ready to accept them for who they are. More so, raise topics about their race or identity earlier on in their life, because they will ask questions about how their hair and skin is different from others.
It means when two people of different skin colors cohabitate or interbreed to get married. Before now, it was only the color that was used, but now, ethnicity is included too.
There are many dating apps and sites, created for interracial dating, and most of them are niche-oriented, that is, if you want to be precise. A few of them include Afromance, Interracial fish, Interracial Cupid, and, Mixed Connect. But you have to be careful of spam sites, fake profiles, and poorly designed apps.
This dating app is exclusively for black people to connect with others who share the same similar likes and interests. You can register too if you are White, Latino, Asian or from any other race if you want to meet a black person.
According to a survey by Statista, as of September 2019, Tinder was the most popular online dating app in the United States, with about 8 Million users. It was 2nd rank by Bumble. But according to PCMag's survey, Match was ranked the 2nd most popular online dating app and Bumble third.
If two people of different racial backgrounds cohabitate, like I'm a black person and you're white, and we start dating, we are going to form a biracial relationship. It's different from a multiracial relationship since that involves many races. A biracial relationship can lead to either biracial or multiracial children.
Nowadays, anyone can find true love from any race. Although it can be a challenge, it's also easy to navigate through. With the tips above, you'll be able to put things right to avoid problems.
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