How To Tell When A FWB Is Catching Feelings (11 Sneaky Ways)

by April Maccario

In this modern time, it’s not uncommon to find two individuals having sex with no other commitments or feelings attached. Perhaps, you are not aware, the arrangement itself or the individuals involved are referred to as “friends with benefits” (FWB). 

As long as there is mutual consent of what the arrangement is about, no one is technically doing anything wrong here. For some, it’s a coping-mechanism after life threw a bad breakup at them. For others, it’s just easier than full-time dating which requires investing feelings, time, and work. If you are in such an arrangement, you’ll agree that when your “friend” begins to catch feelings, things will start getting awkward

Note that catching feelings meaning the desired commitment that you are not ready to give or receive, it's probably time to end it. This is not because you are a bad or insensitive person, but, it’s better to be honest and not lead him on if you are not yet ready for the commitment of a relationship. The aim of this article is simply how to tell when a FWB is catching feelings so that you can be honest with them on time and avoid things from getting messy.

How To Know When Someone Catches Feelings In An FWB Relationship

1. They Call Or Text More Often

Let’s get real here, under normal FWB relationships, this person will probably call you more than a “friend.” It’s only natural that calls or text be centered on arranging “hangouts,” after all, the “relationship” is strictly based on satisfying each other’s sexual needs. However, once you notice that the frequency of calling or texting has significantly increased, there’s a need to be suspicious of his feelings. 

Furthermore, if the calls are more about topics you guys never talk about (e.g. how your day was, what you had for dinner and generally checking-in to see how you are doing), there’s a huge chance he’s into you and you might need to let him know you don’t have the same feelings.

2.  Passion-Filled Gaze

Another way to know when someone has feelings in an FWB relationship is the passion displayed in their eyes. A quick look at him and you can easily know if someone is happy or gloomy even if they aren’t saying anything to you. That’s because the thing that gives off a lot of details are the eyes; even when the mouth is saying something completely different. 

Equally, you can see the passion in someone’s eyes if you are attentive and want to know how to tell when an FWB is having feelings for you. Before you confuse this passion-filled gaze with the usual eye-contact that occurs during sex, think again. This isn’t about lustful, sexual desire, it’s one of those puppy-dog looks silently screaming “I’ll go anywhere with you if only you’d let me.” If you notice this frequently outside the bedroom then there might be more than just sex on his mind. 

If you pay attention to details, use your peripheral vision, and you know how to read body language that people adopt to mask their action, this will be easy for you to pick any time you meet-up.

3. He’ll Want To Spend More Time With You

If you’re in an FWB relationship with someone who likes to have sex a lot and you are equally on the same boat, there’s probably nothing to worry about if he wants to spend more time with you for more sex. However, if you notice a significant increase in his willingness to hang out and it’s not just about sex, there might be a need to worry. 

If you aim at knowing how to tell when a FWB is catching feelings, this is probably one of the easiest ways. If he’s suddenly planning his life around you, inviting you to the movies or picnic and isn’t always interested in having sex afterward. Then, it’s likely he’s been shot by some of Cupid’s arrows. People don’t put in work into a venture that means nothing to them asides sex they are already getting freely.

4. Jealousy 

Jealousy should not be a part of FWB relationships. However, this is another very simple way to tell an FWB is catching feelings for you. This is because jealousy may be very hard to conceal. However, it might not be very easy to spot if you are not into him. Look at this way, it’s only natural you would pay very good attention to someone you are crazy or care about. Hence, you would be sensitive towards them to see when they are hurt because of your actions. 

However, with an FWB, you probably don’t care much to know how they feel beyond the bedroom. This will make spotting jealousy a bit difficult since you pay less attention but a walk in the park if you are conscious about catching him. You can deliberately talk about someone new at school or the office and how you find such a person attractive. This way, you will observe real-time any change in his countenance.

5. The Kissing Gets More Passionate

Kissing is a physical expression of heartfelt emotion. Research shows that kissing is a very crucial key in love. You can tell it’s a lot easier for two people who have feelings, to kiss passionately with fireworks like it’s the 4th of July. However, when it’s just sex and nothing more, kissing is merely a warm-up before the main things. Think of it as an appetizer before the real dish. 

So, when you’ve got an FWB catching feelings on your hands, the kissing will significantly be different. You are going to notice this one easily because every time he has the chance to kiss you, he’ll be more intimate and passionate. This isn’t done only to impress you in bed or to get you into the mood but also because he can’t help himself but love you silly. 

6. He Wants To Cuddle

When two people are in a no-strings-attached relationship, it’s common to either leave immediately or sleep separately after sex. But when he’s trying to cuddle more often, hold you close when you guys are done, then you can tell he’s majorly into you. I’m not saying a little chit-chat after a nice time together is a bad idea, but when he’s enjoying it, acting all romantic and lovey-dovey it’s a pointer towards wanting more from you. 

I don’t know about you, but I only feel like cuddling-up in the arms of someone I’m emotionally attached to. This also goes beyond the bedroom. If seeing a couple of movies at the cinema isn’t off the table in your friends with benefits arrangement, don’t be surprised if he’s trying to get all comfortable and touchy in a romantic way. 

7. He Tells His Friends Good Things About You

When a person doesn’t mean a thing in your life, other than a means to sexual satisfaction to you, your pals will hardly hear about him. It’s possible your besties may have seen him with you a couple of times but that’s how far it goes

He’ll hardly be the center of any of your discussions with the girls. On the other hand, he would have told his friends about you, mostly good things because you’re someone he wants his friends to like. No guy wants a girl his friends will think little of, so it’s expected he would sing high praises about you to his pals repeatedly.

8. He’ll Know The Littles Things About You 

FWB relationships should not be personal at all. However, it’s possible a guy you are in an FWB relationship with, knows a thing or two about you. (e.g what time you close from work or what days of the weeks you don’t go to work at all). After all, it’s on one of your free days you guys hookup. 

However, it becomes weird when he knows your favorite meal, your best color, how many siblings you have. It’s not strange you may have mentioned all of these in a conversation with him, what’s strange is that he remembers those extra tiny details clearly and wants you to know he does. This is how to tell when a FWB is catching feelings for you.

9. He Doesn’t Mind Spending His Free Time With You 

If you are asking yourself this question, “does my friend with benefits have feelings for me because he wants to spend more his free time with me”? It will interest you to know that research shows that people invest more in relationships that matter to them. Like I said earlier, you guys will probably hookup on one of your free time. 

However, when he’s making arrangements to spend more of his free time with you, or canceling other arrangements just to be around you, it might be the right time to be honest with him if you don’t feel like you want to take the FWB arrangement to a higher level of commitment. If you ignore these signs, he may feel you are aware but only chose to be insensitive in order to lead him on. I don’t need to tell you this is probably where the drama starts to unfold.

10. He Starts To Miss You

It’s okay if what he misses is the only thing between the two of you. Furthermore, it’s not a bad idea if he says that he misses getting down with you in a particular style. That’s probably nothing to worry about. 

But when he misses you as a person and he doesn’t let the opportunity slide to let you know, he’s trying to let you know you are a lady worth missing. Furthermore, he’s trying to pass the message that you are no longer an ordinary means to a climax but a person he’s always looking forward to being with any time he’s not around you.

11. He’s Initiating Deeper Conversations 

When it comes to all the different kinds of relationship arrangement,  there’s almost none as superficial as an FWB. Since it’s technically a selfish yet symbolic agreement, it’s not uncommon to notice equally superficial conversations. Therefore, when you’ve got an FWB initiating conversations that are more personal and meaningful, it’s a move aimed at creating an emotional tie with you. 

Look at it this way,  he’s technically in a friend zone situation. While you guys might not be friends in the real meaning of friends, the situation is quite similar. Once you notice all of these, take it from me, he’s fallen for you. You might need to do something about it if you are not ready for the commitment.


How Do You Know If Your FWB Is Catching Feelings?

Fwb arrangements are usually superficial and expected to be transactional since the aim of symbiotic arrangement is to satisfy each other sexually. But, when an FWB wants to talk more about deeper things, initiating more meaningful conversation and trying to be more passionate in the bedroom, then it’s likely he’s love-struck. However, catch feels meaning many things but the above listed are the most common to look out for.

Do Guys Get Attached To Their FWB?

There’s no gender immune to falling for their FWB. While the arrangement may have started unconsciously or on plain agreed terms, it’s not uncommon for individuals in an FWB arrangement to enjoy some time together outside the bedroom. This may cause feelings to develop, leading to emotional attachment. It can happen to guys and ladies as well.

How Do You Tell If He Wants More Than FWB?

No one wastes precious time they can use to work on something else important on an individual they don’t care about. It’s that simple. If you see signs he wants to spend more time that doesn’t necessarily involve sex (e.g trying to hold hands, kiss more passionately and gets jealous when you talk of other guys you might find attractive), then he likely wants more than FWB.

What To Do When You Catch Feelings For Your FWB?

If you are sure the person isn’t into you, it’s best to terminate the arrangement. However, if there’s hope after catching feelings, it’s okay to be honest by telling him how you feel. Life is too short to keep wondering “what if.” If you are afraid you’ll be rejected, you can try to show him signs that you are into him. If you are lucky, the emotion might be mutual which can lead to something more beautiful than where you started.

How Long Does FWB Usually Last?

It can last as long as both parties want. It either ends or graduates into a more committed and responsible dating arrangement. Usually, one person gets more serious after catching feelings and wants something the other party isn’t ready to give or receive. This causes the arrangement to end abruptly. On the other hand, both parties may catch feelings together and will be willing to convert what they have going into something more serious. 

To Conclude

Now you know the signs to look out for before an FWB arrangement gets messy. Although catch feelings meaning many things, the above information will certainly help. Since individuals go into different relationship arrangements for different reasons, it’ll be great to know when it’s time to walk away in order to prevent any form of drama. This article will help in that regard.  


Furthermore, you could be the one catching the feelings and would like to know if your “friend” will be open to taking things further and possibly see you as his significant other. 


Hope you enjoyed the article. We’d be happy if you use the comment section to tell us how you feel about the article and also share if you want others to read it as well.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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