How To Get Him Back When He’s Moved On (13 Ways To Win Him Back)

by April Maccario

Life is full of clichés and, one of them is that you don’t know the value of what you have until it’s gone. Another is that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. These sayings may appear so cliché because they’ve been overused but, that’s exactly the truth, many people don’t realize until it’s too late

Have you ever been with that one person who seemed to rock your world so much that when he left you, it felt like you’d lost a part of yourself? Do you have that guy you still love so much that you’d do just about anything legitimate or humbling to get him back, even though it’s obvious he has moved on with someone else? 

Maybe Jessie J's lyrics to ‘Nobody’s Perfect’ has become your mantra and you accept you want to correct the relationship you messed up. Even if the fault wasn’t entirely yours but you know this particular ex-boyfriend is your soulmate, there’s no way you won’t think of how to get your ex back, even though he’s already moved on.

The mixture of questions and tips in this article will give you some suggestions that could help you get your ex-boyfriend back and restore the relationship you most desire. 

13 Ways To Make Him Come Back To You

1. Is your reason for wanting him back strong?

is your reasoning for wanting him come back strong

Most times, when we think we want something so badly, we neglect to ask why want it in the first place? Similarly, when you have parted ways with a guy but your heart still doesn’t let go of him, you should wonder why as well. Do you just want to get your ex back to prove a point?

Your ex broke up with you for a reason but, so you should want him back for a better reason. Forget the fleeting notion that you can’t live without him, that’s just an unreal idea people hold on to because they fear starting all over again. 

Make sure your reason for wanting your ex back is strong enough to push you to withstand the roadblocks you’ll encounter when trying to win him back. 

2. Is he worth the hassle you’ll obviously have to go through?

Now that you’ve decided that you want him back, is he worth the wait, the possible ridicule you’ll go through, as well as the changes you’re willing to make on your own part?

Is he so great a man that you can turn away advances from someone new just because you still want him back? What part did he play while the relationship was still going on? 

Did he contribute to your progress or make your life so beautiful you can’t imagine anyone doing the same for you anytime soon? Think about how important this guy was and what he can add to your life before you begin an active pursuit of him. It will be a shame to waste time and resources on a man who’s not worth it.

3. Is there a win-win solution to what caused the breakup initially? 

Before you decide to get your ex-boyfriend back, you may want to assess the reason for the breakup. If you were responsible for why he broke up with you, have you adjusted so that you won’t repeat the same mistakes? If it was his decision to end it for personal reasons do you think those reasons won’t matter all that much anymore? 

Or can you make a compromise to work around those reasons? Was physical or emotional abuse part of the reasons for the breakup? If there was any form of abuse or negativity, you may want to rethink getting back with this guy. After weighing the odds and possibilities, you can make your next move.

4. How much does he still care about you?

This guy has moved on, so it’s possible that he has also lost all feelings of affection for you. If that’s the case, it might be difficult to convince him to come back to you. To be honest, the best time to get your ex back is some time after the breakup. Either within the first week or month.

During the early days of the breakup, he is still raw with emotions for you and the memories he shares with you would still be fresh on his mind. He would still be returning your messages or calls, even if it’s to tell you to leave him alone.

However, when much time has passed, you don’t want to make a fool of yourself if he doesn’t share those feelings of love anymore. So ensure that he still has a thing for you, either from his friends, the way he acts, and sometimes, even intuition.

5. Work on yourself

work on yourself

If you’re working hard to get back your ex who has moved on with another lady, it probably means there’s a reason he broke up with you in the first place. Remember, no one is in any way perfect and our flaws indicate how human we are. To get your ex back, you need to accept that you have some unresolved issues, and you need to work on becoming better.

If your issues are behavioral, go for counseling or take up life coaching lessons to help with whatever you may be struggling with. If stress is a major factor that affected your relationship, you may want to make sure you’re eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep. All these actions will add up for you in the pursuit of your ex.

6. Figure out if the new woman is only a rebound

He has moved on to someone else but you still want him back, you need to know the situation in his new relationship before you chase after him. If he is happily settled and in love with this new woman, there may be nothing more you can do to sway his decision. 

If she is only a rebound though, there is still hope for you to get him back. There are different ways to figure out how important the new woman is to him. You can seek out a mutual friend who is still close to him to know your chances. 

You can check his activities online to see if he’s flaunting her already, although this might be a cover-up to make you think he is happy. Knowing the situation in his new girl will either give you the green light to seek him out or forget about him altogether. 

7. Leave subtle hints

It is a really good sign if he is still talking to you. You may not be hanging out physically since that would be too confusing but, merely exchanging messages and calls means there is hope for getting back with your ex.

While the thread that binds you to him might be thin, you can still capitalize on the slight bond. You don’t want to come out to tell him directly that you want him back. Rather than telling him straight up that you still desire him, show him indirectly through the things you say and the way you say them.

He will eventually see through your words and actions and give you a second chance if he’s still interested too.

8. Keep your distance

It is understandable that you’re still crazy about him and you want to fight for your love. However, he needed space, that's why he ended things in the first place. You need to first respect that need and keep your distance from your ex if you want to get back with him.

You can work on getting him back without violating his need for some time alone. Although you may need to intensify your effort if you discover someone else is getting into the picture but, you can still play it cool to avoid being labeled the ‘crazy ex’.

9. If he reaches out eventually, don’t jump at the first chance to bend to his will

If your hard work pays off and your ex wants to get back with you too, act as cool as possible. Don’t be in a haste to jump when he says so, even if he was the one who broke things off before.

If he is the controlling type and your rebellion in the past was related to how you disliked his macho attitude, you definitely should take the rekindled romance slowly. There will be a need to talk things out with him rather than just continuing with the relationship. 

10. You can try open communication and baring your heart to him

You know this man so well. You know what method works well for him and so, you should take advantage of that. If he appreciates open communication and he’s a sucker for you getting vulnerable with him, do just that.

You’re hopelessly in love with him else, you wouldn’t be trying to get him back, so bare your heart to him. Let him know you’re sorry, and you want to sort things out. Be mature about your approach but, inject enough vulnerability into your words that he’d have no choice but to see you again. If he still loves or cares for you, he’d give the relationship a try again. 

11. See the possibility of getting back with your ex as a new beginning rather than a continuation of where you left off before

Don’t delude yourself to think the relationship will be the same with your ex. The operational word here being ‘ex’, shows that a chapter of your lives has closed and there's no going back there.

You should see the potential relationship as a new chance. In a new relationship, you will do things a certain way such as getting to know each other. Thinking you’ll pick up from you where you left off before is a recipe for disaster. As such, no matter how long it takes to get back to being comfortable with each other, you and your ex need to take a long way there.

12. Throw him off by being a little bit extra than he was used to

Being extra doesn’t translate to faking your behavior or pretending to be the reformed person you’re not. That kind of lie would eventually surface. Being extra means putting in more effort than you used to in the previous relationship. 

If you have worked on yourself as advised in tip five, the newly improved you will be a magnet of attraction for your ex or any other man. He’d be seeing the same person but, one who is much more refined in looks, strength, and character. 

13. Accept that it may not work out

accept that it may not work out

This is the toughest tip and you might want to discard it but it will be in your best interest if you consider the possibility too. If the circumstances surrounding your relationship with your ex were quite damning and the damage was too great, there might be no coming back from that.

If you tried your best and your ex-boyfriend doesn’t want you back, you should try to move on too. The upside to this outcome is that you are a better person for trying to right the wrongs you did the first time and, you will be in a better position for your next relationship. In the end, it’s the kind of woman you become that matters.

FAQs

How can I find someone who loves me?

You can find someone who loves you through how much they are willing to sacrifice for your happiness. Someone who loves you will go out of his way to make you happy and satisfied. He will always be all out for your progress in every way that counts.

Why can't I find true love?

You may be finding it hard to find true love if you’re trying too hard or looking in the wrong places. If you can be patient enough and live without much expectations from potential partners, you will find love at the best time. 

Why can't I find a boyfriend?

It is possible that you need to make some changes in your life in order to attract your own boyfriend. By the time you improve in some ways, you’ll discover that the guy you need has been around you all the while you were searching.

What do you do if the person you love doesn't love you?

There might not be much you can do to make someone you cherish, love you back. It is an unfair situation but it happens a lot. The best thing to do might be to find someone who loves you, and who you can equally care for, and work towards loving him in return.

Does true love exist?

While the term ‘true love’ has been abused, love with pure intentions truly exists. It might take a series of heartbreaks and searching to no avail before you will find someone who loves you with true intentions but, it does exist.

In Conclusion

So these are the tips on how to get your ex-boyfriend back, it will take patience but, if it’s to be a reality, it will happen. Also, you may want to consider some of the tips in this article to help you move forward faster if things don’t go according to the plan. Remember, you can’t control people’s choices, but you can make the right ones, and move on if need be.

If you enjoyed reading this, please don’t forget to share this article with someone else and leave a comment below. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *