Short of speaking, there are other ways to signal interest to someone you’re attracted to. From your hair to the eyes to your arms and general demeanor, your body language can tell someone whether to come closer or back off without you having to talk.
However, of all the parts, eye-contact flirting takes the cake. It is harmless, and when done right, it can be a lot smoother than your best pickup lines. Unfortunately, not everyone has mastered the art of drawing people in with their eyes.
One has to know how long to stare, as anything too long can get you labeled as a creep. And underdoing it could also give the idea that you’re just scanning the room instead of being particularly interested in someone.
Another vital thing to master is your gaze, that is, knowing when to keep it light from when to go deep and linger. Eye contact has been used in coquetry for so long, one might say it is what inspired the “eyes are the window to the soul” saying. Or perhaps it’s the other way around.
Anyhow, if you’re wondering how to reel someone in using your eyes, this article should be useful.
Your eyes are the star of this show, it is only fitting that they look the part. You want to draw someone’s attention using nothing but your orbs, making them worthy of a second look certainly improves your odds. While our eyes are naturally beautiful, we can make them even more enticing, especially in this context, by enhancing just the right features.
Depending on your preference, you can either enhance your natural eyelashes with a volumizing, non-clump mascara or fix a full natural-looking pair. Then, complete the look with a little winged eyeliner and you are good to go.
Your next challenge is to place yourself within your target’s line of sight. If you didn’t get there with this person, say you spot them from across the room or something, don’t go too close.
Instead, stay at a distance close enough that they can catch even your subtle gestures, but also far enough that they can’t hear what you’re saying. Once you’re in position, you can now go ahead and get your flirting game on with the confidence of well-groomed brows, winged eyeliner, luscious lashes and a subtle smile.
Next is to make eye contact, assuming they don’t already have their eyes on you yet, you want to casually look their way every now and then, enough for them to start being interested in your gazes. When they look in your direction, let your eyes meet theirs for a moment and then look elsewhere.
Make sure not to linger on this first eye contact. It shouldn’t last beyond a second or two, just enough for them to be clear that you were indeed flirting. This gets a debate (is she hitting on me?) going on in their mind, and that’s exactly what you want.
Eye contact flirting is an art that shouldn’t be rushed. You get the best results when you take your time to allow the excitement to build. So, after establishing eye contact, you want to find something else to do while remaining close or in the same position.
They would probably be looking in your direction once in a while by now, so it’s probably best that you don’t do something off-putting in that time. If you’re there with other people, you can start a conversation or laugh at something funny. Or you can just take out your phone and smile if you’re alone.
The takeaway from that little break should be that you have a life, warm disposition and that you’re not some attention-hungry person. While they’re still looking in your direction, look over at theirs and let their gaze follow you as you look around the room, then back at them.
This sends another message across, one that would reiterate the fact that staring at them was, in fact, not a mistake. That of all the people in there with you, they are the ones you have your eyes on. All of this without uttering one word.
Since you’re communicating using only body language, make sure to watch out for signs that you’re both operating on the same wavelength. If they look creeped out or uncomfortable, it’s best to stop. If not, make another fleeting eye contact then look down, you want them to like you, and not think you’re a spy of some sort.
Looking down implies reticence and vulnerability; if you flirt with guys a lot, you know they dig those. However, don’t just stop there, look up at them again after a few seconds, this time through your eyelashes without moving your head, and be sure to lock eyes. This shouldn’t last longer than feels natural, and try not to smile while you do it.
They couldn’t have gotten through that eye lock stage without their body releasing some hormones if you know what I mean. Especially if you put those eyelashes to good use. They may choose this moment to approach, but if not, don’t get discouraged. Just show them there is plenty more where that came from.
You can take the tease up a notch by mirroring what they do, maybe don’t imitate the exact thing, though, just something similar. Like if they’re drinking beer while looking at you, respond by slowly stirring your drink with a straw, then take a sip - all while maintaining eye contact.
You can be sure at this point that they’ve been checking you out below the eye level, yet, they may feel it’s too soon to be sure of anything. There’s also bound to be an increased level of self-consciousness going around; if you’re feeling it, they probably are too.
Since you’ve come this far without smiling at them, now would be as good a time as any to change that. The next time you detect their gaze through your side-eye, catch it and give them a coy smile (without teeth). This indicates openness on your end and should clear their doubt.
This may come as a surprise, but flirting is a basic survival instinct. Most of the things we do to attract people we like, especially when it comes to using body language, are innate. It’s just that coming naturally to us doesn’t necessarily make us great at them, so we have to hone it.
You may have noticed that you tend to blush, fidget, and blink more when you fancy someone. Experts say these are totally normal, you can therefore expect to bat your eyes more often than usual when you’re flirting. If you really want to drive them crazy, lay some emphasis on fluttering those eyelashes when you do.
Once again, a little give and take makes flirting go round. You shouldn’t show all your cards too soon when you’re interested in someone because you will quickly run out of things to do. Also, drawing things out makes teasing a lot more fun, and that’s a significant part of the game.
That said, knowing when to stare and when to look away is key to eye contact flirting. So, after a little while, stop looking in your target’s direction altogether, and let them wonder for a while what you’ll do next.
Notice how all the time I’ve mentioned eye contact it’s being either fleeting, shy, or coy? Well, it’s time to get more deliberate about it, because, why not? I should mention again, though, that you should probably stop if you’re not feeling particularly confident that they are also interested in you by now.
If they are, by the time you resume looking at them, you should either meet their eyes on you or must have caught them a couple of times. So, when your eyes meet this time, make the eye contact so intense that it might as well be the copulatory gaze.
With all that eye contact, it’s safe to say you already have a sort of rapport going, especially if they’re daring enough to hold your gaze. Although, now might be a good time to remind you that eye flirting isn’t supposed to last forever.
There are other people around you, so you should probably tear your eyes away from each other before you attract more audience than you bargained for. Even as the tension between you becomes palpable, be sure to be the one who breaks eye contact, and if you’re feeling brave, end it with a wink.
I bet you didn’t know the triangle was a thing, did ya? Well, it is, and you most likely already do it. It happens in both casual and formal situations and definitely while flirting. In an informal or business setting, you tend to look people in one eye first, then to their nose, and back to the other eye.
However, with someone you are attracted to, the lower part of the triangle can extend past the nose to whatever part of them catches your fancy. From mouth to their chest, and ultimately the groin. Broaden your triangle as your eye flirting intensifies, but remember to come back to their eyes from time to time.
If they are still waiting for an invitation, you should probably offer them one. No, you don’t have to go over to their side or call out to them. You are more than capable of sending them a non-verbal invite using only your eyes.
Simply raise your brows a little and move your eyeballs in a way that says ‘come here.’ This is the moment that confirms whether you’ve been flirting with yourself or they’re in on it too. If they do make their way towards you, be sure to maintain eye contact until they get to you.
Whether they come around or beckon you over to their side instead, if you’re lucky, you can take things further, knowing you’re both on the same page. However, the eye flirting needn’t stop just because you’ve closed the distance between you. If anything, it should deepen.
While sitting across from them, synchronize your eye movements with every word that comes out of your mouth. As your lips move, let your eyes smile like the stars if you know what I mean. You can also support it with other body language forms, like the hair flip and slight graze. Oh, and remember to maintain eye contact.
Eye flirting for guys begins and ends with them maintaining eye contact. They stare long enough to see if you look down and back up at them. And with a little encouragement, they simultaneously shift their gaze from your eyes to your lips, down to the boobs then back.
The first time you make eye contact with someone you like, you can hold it for a second, then look elsewhere. Or you could look down for a few seconds and lock eyes with them again if they are still staring. Be very deliberate in the way you bat your eyelids and flutter your eyelashes too.
Someone making eye contact with you does not necessarily mean they are flirting, but that doesn’t make the act any less of a flirting technique. You can see it as a useful tool for communicating your interest, but that can also work outside that context.
Humor is always a good way to go when you can’t see or hear the tone of the other person’s voice. Use their name instead of endearments, it makes them feel like you really know them, plus, the sound of their name coming from you is probably music to their ears. If you’re good with puns, play around with words. You can also use emojis and gifs to express the feelings you can’t type.
Men are not exactly the most secretive type when it comes to sexual attraction. When he’s around you, he will smolder you with the kind of eye contact that communicates the things he’d like to do to you. His gaze will linger on your lips when you talk, he’d lean in to be near your body… You can just feel the sexual tension between the two of you.
This was an exciting post to write, I hope reading it felt the same. I tried to keep it light enough to help you see that the art of flirting using just eye contact isn’t a skill limited to some women. If I can do it, so can you. Let’s keep the conversation going by sharing the article and commenting in the section below. Thanks.