He Is Not Answering My Calls (10 Important Things To Do)

Last updated on June 15, 2022 by April Maccario

Is your partner not answering your calls?

Is this making you worried? Or perhaps suspicious?

Are you wondering how to react in this situation? 

If so, don’t panic! This guide is here to help. It features 10 useful tips on what to do, plus some insightful advice explaining why this happens. 

Before we begin, let me introduce an extreme yet effective solution. It’s this online communications tracker tool.

This intelligent tool can connect with your partner’s phone and begin tracking its activity, including various details about who he’s communicating with. 

If he’s still communicating with other people - but not you - you’ll discover this instantly. 

You’ll find out what apps he’s using, how often he’s in contact with various people and a lot more. 

It’s 100% discreet too. Just enter a few of his basic details into the tool to begin. He’ll never find out he’s being tracked, although this move is surely justifiable when your man goes completely off the radar.

Either way, let’s now dive into my list of things to do when this situation arises.

What Can You Do About It?

1. Have You Tried To Text?

I know sending a text is a bit obvious, but hear me out. You probably prefer to call because you get to hear the tone in his voice that way, or you are too busy to type, so you just call instead. These are all valid reasons, but he could have his own also.

Some people prefer reading text messages to talking, I have friends who are like that. One of them says phone calls make her anxious, and another says they disturb his creative flow. Different strokes for different strokes, I guess. If my friends don’t sound like your man, how about he could be in a meeting? Or driving? Or in the middle of an emergency? Or anything else, really.

He obviously didn’t handle things well, even if his reasons are valid. Save for an emergency, he could have told you beforehand if he doesn’t like to call or about to enter a meeting or whatever else. Just to cover all grounds, text him, if it delivers, and he reads it and still doesn’t reply, then you at least know he’s not dead.

2. Reach Out In Person If You Can – He Really Could Be In Danger

Banter aside, something bad could have really happened to him; maybe not dangerous, but what if he got mugged and they took his phone? Or, he isn’t feeling well? Point is, it pays to be sure before drawing our own conclusions. If you happen to be in the same city as him, and his house isn’t too far away, pay him a visit.

This is a win-win situation whichever way you look at it. You get to dress to impress and also put your mind at rest (whatever you find). If he’s fine and has been ignoring you on purpose, then you are sure he’s just being an ass. But if it happens to be otherwise and something did happen, he’d appreciate you for checking on him, and your conscience would let you rest too.

On the flip side, if you are not in the same city, try calling an emergency contact of his – I always ask for those if I’m getting serious with someone. Maybe his family, a friend, or a neighbor. If you two aren’t there yet, then all you can do now is wait.

3. Find A Distraction Asap

As you wait, find something else to do to stay sane. I understand time tends to move differently when you are expecting. It passes quickly when things are good, or you are running late, then moves at snail speed when you need it to go fast. If you have a lot of time on your hands and find yourself checking your phone often, that’s your cue to get busy. 

If you have friends and they are free too, go hang out with them. Go get your hair and nails done, anything. If you stay in and wallow in your frustration, the temptation to call him again or send a bitter text may set in. That skincare routine you’ve always pushed to the back of your schedule, bring it forward today.

Call an old friend, bury yourself in work, make new plans that don’t revolve around him. What matters is that whatever you choose to do, takes him off your mind while you’re doing it or else it wouldn’t count as a distraction. Remember, the plan is to stay busy enough that thoughts of him get pushed to the back of your mind.

4. Did You Hurt Him? Try The 48-Hour Rule

The 48-hour rule is unique to each situation but still applies generally. Since I don’t know the dynamics of your relationship with this guy, all I can do is paint scenarios and advise. If you are in a committed relationship with this person, and he suddenly stops picking up, you probably did something.

If you did, it makes sense that he wants to maintain his distance so he can work through his hurt without yelling at you or saying things he’d regret. In a case like this, the 48-hour rule is a communication technique, he’s just trying to wait until he’s in the right headspace to have a productive conversation. So, let him be for 48 hours.

If you two have only just begun dating, however, and he doesn’t call, text, or answer yours for 48 hours straight, he’s most likely trying to tell you he’s not interested in going further with you. Finally, if what you two have is a crush, he could be making you wait for 2 to 3 days before talking to you, so he doesn’t come off as too eager. Save for that first instance, any guy who still follows this rule is considered rude and petty.

5. Stop Calling

If he wasn’t with his phone when you were calling, he’d see them later and call you back if he wants to talk. Calling him again won’t do anything but irritate him at this point, especially if he has been ignoring you on purpose. This is not the time to let your emotions drive your action, so you don’t come off as desperate.

Nothing drives a guy away faster than a needy babe, so you need to be extra careful if the romance is still budding. If you feel like you can’t stop thinking about him, you can refer to the distraction technique above. If your need to keep calling is driven by a nagging thought that something bad has happened to him, leave a message that conveys that. 

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Let the message be along the line of “Hey, I’m worried about you, let me know you’re safe.” A text like this warrants a response, and a reasonable individual would reply as soon as possible. But if you see him going about his life as usual, for example, posting stuff on social media, don’t even bother with that text.

6. Resist The Urge To Drop Sub For Him On Social Media

Since we are on the social media subject, it is worth mentioning that you should not yield to that voice in your head telling you to drop a subpost for him. Be it Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or any other social platform you two follow each other on. Don’t post a picture and caption it in a way that he knows you’re stressing about him.

This point is even more valid if you’re the type who posts your relationship on your online status. Others are watching, and there is no need for them to know there is trouble in paradise yet, especially since there’s still a possibility it might be a non-issue. If the cat has suddenly got his tongue, let him know two can play the game.

Like Cher said, “Men are a luxury, not a necessity.” Sometimes, these boys need to be reminded that we don’t need them to live. Are they nice to have around? Sure. But not at the expense of your self-worth. If you have to fight for his attention all the time, maybe he isn’t worth keeping around.

7. I Wouldn’t Complain To His Friends If I Were You

Let’s imagine how that conversation would go. “I think my boyfriend is ignoring me,” when they ask why? you go “he is not answering my calls.” If you feel comfortable with his friends enough to tell them about your relationship troubles, what makes you think he hasn’t told them already?

Even if they are basically your mutual friends at this point, so long as they were friends with your boyfriend first, their allegiance still lies with him. You may be telling them to get a grip on what he’s thinking or so they can advise you on what to do, but it usually doesn’t end there. They are more likely to go back to tell their friend what you said than not.

This doesn’t make them terrible humans, it’s just what friends do. I’d expect mine to tell me if my man ever complained to them about me too. So, if you must vent to your mutuals, be prepared for the drama that might cause. I wouldn’t do it, but if you don’t mind, by all means, go ahead.

8. Don’t Put Your Life On Hold For Him

What to do when he ignores you? The simple answer to keep living your life like he doesn’t matter. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself. Primarily because it works on boys like that. Most people who dish out toxic habits like this cannot stand being ignored. They practically thrive on attention.

Secondly, if it turns out that he doesn’t plan to return, then your losses will be limited to the investment you made when he was around. Putting your life on hold for a guy like that makes the wait worse, and you may resent him for more than the heartbreak he caused you. At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own actions, and you may end up blaming yourself later for the time you spent pining over him. 

I have this friend who got ghosted by a guy after about six months of exclusive dating. He was the sweetest boyfriend until he cut all forms of contact out of the blue. She went to his place, but the man had moved. Three months later, she saw his wedding pictures online. Moral of the story, boys who ghost don’t deserve to be pined over.

9. Just To Be Safe, End It In Your Head

This would be a good time to delete all the “deletables.” His number, your call and text history, maybe his pictures. Personally, I like to keep these receipts just for the sake of it, but I’ve heard it makes letting go smoother for some people, so it’s at least worth considering. Memories may be hard to erase, but you don’t need the physical evidence to remind you of what could have been.

You are a whole catch, don’t let somebody’s lukewarm behavior mess with your glow. Sometimes I wish men can just decide. Like do you want me or not? None of this hot and cold bull crap some of them do. If cold is what you want, then be straight about it from the onset. Don’t start off sizzling hot and wind up pulling out a temperature so cold my mom’s deep freezer feels like burning coal in comparison.

Sorry I tend to go off a little bit when... Where was I? Oh right. If you guys hadn’t defined what you had going on, but you were already considering building with him based on your feelings alone, delete that thought too.

10. Mourn The “Relationship” And Move On

This is where it ultimately leads to; the point of no return. It’s possible to prepare for the worst by telling yourself this man will probably not come back while hoping against hope that he does. Keeping it safe but lowkey telling yourself that if he promises to change, you will take him back. Girl, you don’t need that kind of inconsistency in your life.

If he’s doing it now, he’s probably done it before and will most likely do it again. One thing I’m thankful for is how we ladies tend to know when there is nothing left there. It doesn’t stop us from trying to make it work – if he’s dug deep into you, that is – but we know. 

If you had a chance to give it your all before he left, lucky him. If you didn’t, it’s his loss. Accept this reality and move on. Anyone who doesn’t respect you enough to answer you doesn’t deserve you anyway. You have loved, and lost, mourn that loss, take time to heal, then adjust your crown and move to the next deserving man in the queue.


What To Do When He Won’t Answer Your Calls?

If he doesn’t answer, try texting or go to him if you live within the same city. He may have been stuck in a situation that is truly out of his hands. If physically reaching out is not an option and there is no one else close to him you can call, then all you can really do is wait.

What Does It Mean When Someone Doesn’t Answer Your Calls?

It may mean they are occupied with something else and are unable to get to the phone. If that is the case, they will call you back when they can. However, if you don’t get any response whatsoever after a while, you are most likely getting ghosted. 

How Do You Know If Someone Is Ignoring Your Calls?

If you notice they are active on social media but aren’t returning your call, they are probably ignoring you. You can tell by the response you get when you call. If you get their voicemail every time you dial their line, but it goes through with another number, sorry to break to you, but that person is intentionally snubbing you.

What To Do If A Man Ignores You?

Glow up and let him know it without actively trying to contact him. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you follow each other on at least one social media platform. Post bomb pictures of you or whatever else attracts him to you – like work. If he doesn’t reach after this, then he was probably never into you in the first place.

How Do You Make Him Miss You Like Crazy?

Give him space. Don’t call, don’t text, don’t mention him on social media. Pretend he doesn’t exist; guys can’t stand that. After the dust of whatever happened has settled, your absence will make him realize your value. And if you are the type that brought more to the table than you took, he will most certainly miss you a lot.

On A Final Note

It’s not a good look when someone you like – and you thought liked you too – suddenly stops answering the phone. It’s quite common in this generation, I have been there, and I figured sharing the tips above might help somebody out there too. Please drop a comment and share the article if you found it enjoyable.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

24 comments on “He Is Not Answering My Calls (10 Important Things To Do)”

  1. I hope you reply me bcus I need someone to advise me, we were in a serious relationship but he kept bringing up a breakup everytime we have a little argument, so I got angry and decided to breakup since it sounds like that’s what he wants, then he said I overreacted and that we need to sit and talk, which I agreed to, then we’ve been cool for a while, he calls and I answers, then I was busy and ignored him for a whole day, replied very early the next day but he didn’t reply my mssgs, I tried calling and he didn’t pick, ive been calling for three days now and he hasn’t picked, I’m scared something is wrong, I don’t know what to do, it’s not so easy to go to his house bcus I can’t enter until he calls his security, so I don’t know if he’s just ignoring me or something is wrong.

  2. Thank you for this article. Four telephone calls unanswered since last week. And several text and Messenger texts left on read. It feels truly humiliating to this point. So I guess, I'll carry on.

  3. Thank you I feel much better I tried FaceTiming to say happy bday and I’m left on read. I saw another girl calling his phone the other night while he was sleeping and didn’t say nothing it just raised suspicion if he don’t call after a few days I’ll know that call wasn’t “work” or his “cousin”

  4. thanks for the message but right now i feel like am on my last breath,i love this guy so much.he is offline not taking my calls at all,i dont know where is he

  5. Waoh! This has been helpful. I really appreciate you alot. This was what I've been looking for 2weeks ago. I move.

  6. wow this has helped a lot to put things into perspective, I went through the same, where I called I was ignored, then he sent a "please call"2 days later, that which I ignored as I fely disrecpected after my calls had been ignored and now not even a text message, but a please call. I then did what you advised against above, checking his social media, and boom, there he had changed his relationship status and now with another girl! and offcourse I reacted by writing back privately to say "oh I see this is what has been happening behind my back"I wregret that now, and he then blocked me without even an apology! I'm devastated but at the same time happy that I now know the truth; it hurts but it's fine at least now I'm not kept in the string of girls anymore. Thanks you so much.

  7. Ty for tips. My boyfriend sees me weekends since he lives an hour away and works all week. We have been dating 8 months now. He was working from home and stayed here th to Sunday. Now he has to work at the office 3 days in queens which is near where he lives and farther from me. He told me he'd come Friday to Sunday. When he left today he seemed ok and we had a nice weekend together . He usually texts me to let me know he got home safe and to tell me when we can face time. Today I haven't heard from him day and night not a text or call. I texted and left two messages and he didn't answer. Inoray he texts me tm

  8. This was really helpful, coz he said he's been ignoring my calls on purpose. Everyday I cry myself to sleep thinking about him.

  9. He doesnt pick my calls. Je doesnt rwply to my msgs. I called with a diff line he jeard my voice and hanged up. Just sad

  10. I have a 1st time FWB. 4 Months into it. He stopped answering or texting. Just shows up at ungodly hrs. We never do anything, except sex. What happened to being FRIENDS.??

    1. FWB IS NOT FRIENDSHIP!!! You were a booty call! He was using you for sex. Period!! Friendship is truly that, nothing more than friends. With true friendship there is nothing physical or sexual. No kissing, nothing.

  11. Showing up at his house unannounced is a win-win??? That is insane behavior. It’s honestly irresponsible to even suggest that. There is no way a man would appreciate that if he hasn’t called you back. He’ll think you’re a stalker. The chances of him having been mugged are slim to none. This is laughable advice.

  12. Thanks you really helped me getting out of my relationship stress...................Thank you so much.

  13. Amazing really helped me a lot to make up mind to walk away from a relationship that was going no where.

  14. I really like that and want to ask this, my guy hurt me and I decided to breakup with him cos he was cheating on me exchanging pics with different ladies and I decided to move on but later on he came to apologize and want us to come back and I wanted to be sure either we are just dating or dating to get married in future. I called him one morning and he told me he was at the work place so I should let him close he will call me later but he didn't call and I try to call him in the evening while he was online but didn't answer my call pls how far about this any advice??

  15. This guy, we’ve been together for 10 years with 2 kids and one on the way, he recently started weird things like going out with his friends and coming back home the next day with an excuse of I was drunk, he never answers my calls, or responds to my texts. This is very frustrating to me and makes me so angry because I’m just trying to understand. I’ve read the below but still struggling. Please help.

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