Picture this, you met a lovely guy, and you’ve been texting all week, then within the week, he fixed a rendezvous saying, ‘let’s meet this weekend, but we’ll discuss the details later.’ There is no universe where you won’t feel excited, especially because you’re looking forward to going on a proper date with the guy.
It seems like forever, but the weekend you’ve been waiting for finally came. The only issue is that there’s a whole other problem now. He hasn’t communicated any plans in relation to the date with you. He’s practically mute and hasn’t texted you back throughout the weekend. It’s normal not to know how to react when faced with something like this.
I know how painful it can feel when this happens; it’ll undoubtedly get you all worked up, wondering where you got it wrong. Now, you’re home alone with no plans, when you’ve been counting down days to the date all week. It’s a big challenge because of the digital and virtual world we now live in. While you may never know why a guy says he wants to hang out but never follows through, there are some reasons for this annoying behavior that I will share with you. Sit back and let’s look into it.
You’re probably dealing with a guy who has good intentions, but not much free time. Most times, people use being busy as an excuse when they don’t want to prioritize things, so you may not believe him when he tells you he’s genuinely busy. However, if he shows real interest in you, but never follows through, then something is off.
Perhaps, he’s going through a tough time in his business, or he’s working overtime at his new job, to make ends meet. Any of these things can be a hindrance to his plans to meet up. Even if you believe he likes you, there are signs you should watch out for. For instance, he could tell you personal things which he normally wouldn’t share with another person. Or If he always compliments you, and acts overprotective, once he senses other guys getting close to you.
Additionally, even if he has not explained why he keeps cancelling the dates, try not to act angry or frustrated with him, because this may turn him off. Even more, it makes you sound unsupportive. What you can do is talk to him about it, and tell him how you feel.
He may have a social anxiety disorder, and if you’re not sensitive enough, you may not see it. Sure, it sounds far out there, but according to Olivia Surtees, a relationship advice writer, this could be the reason why he can’t leave his house. So, when he says he wants to hang out with you and the day finally comes, he suddenly doesn’t feel like it.
Instead, he becomes worried and self-conscious about how you’ll perceive him, so he has to cancel. There’re signs you should look out for if this is the case; first, if he’s open during chats but very uptight in person, that’s an indication. Or he doesn’t want to put himself in a social situation, where people could assess, shame, or make jest of him.
It could be difficult trying to date someone who doesn’t want to hang out, especially if you’re an outgoing person, but there are some things I would like you to do to help him if you want to stick with him. You can assure him that you understand how he feels, and this will make him more at ease.
Or you could pick a quiet and comfortable spot yourself, void of social interactions, where you know he will be relaxed. Most times, this set of people are loving and nice once they come out of their shell.
Maybe he’s not into you, or he wants an uncommitted relationship, which explains why he doesn’t care about seeing you that often. These days, dating apps and sites have turned a lot of guys into serial online-daters. They’ve become lazy, and don’t want to have a traditional face-to-face relationship. Instead, they choose to enjoy the attention of women they don’t intend to ever meet.
So when he says he wants to hang out, he’s tying you down to his inbox. He may not have any intention to hang out with you, but saying he does may keep you in check. Ronnie Ann Ryan, a dating coach for women, advised, that ‘If he doesn’t fix a date and time, then don’t get too excited about it, Until you’re sure he makes plans for a proper date, you’re still open to go for other guys.
On the other hand, I know how disappointed you may feel when you realize he never had thoughts for a long term relationship. However, my dating advice for you is to have a conversation with him and communicate how you feel. If he persists, then it’s time to cut ties with him.
The only reason he’ll honor his date is if his arrangements with the other women don’t go through. He may not be that interested but is keeping his options open. I hate to say this, but you’re just one of his many prospects, so by bringing up those ideas of dates or hanging out, he’s making sure that he’s still on your radar.
He may have sent that same message to multiple women, and as such, is waiting for the cream of the crop to pop up. So, if you are not the one he picked, then you will probably not hear from him until he feels he’s losing you. These kinds of guys are the worst set of people to deal with and since you know his antics, my advice for you is to cut him loose. Going back to chatting with him will only make you a backup plan and you’re worth more. I know it will be hard for you to come to terms with the fact that you were a mere backup option, but you’ve to let it go and move on.
Have you considered the response you gave when he brought up the idea? How did you respond when he mentioned hanging out with you? The way you responded may have given him the idea you weren’t interested.
Since he received this negative vibe from you; he didn’t feel the need to make plans or message you probably because of the way you responded. If you actually like him, maybe you should be forward with him and take the lead. It will show him that you’re serious. Make plans with your friends and invite him over, if he doesn’t come over, you’ll still have fun with your friends.
He may be trying his luck and might have asked two or more ladies on a date, with hopes that at least one would respond. Guys do this for fun at times, which isn’t really neat, but it’s true. Plus, a man who wants to spend time with you will make out the time, or at least call to cancel early.
A lot of people say things sometimes, for reasons best known to them, maybe they really want to end the conversation, and they don’t know what to say. So, they probably don’t want to hurt your feelings by not saying anything, then decide to fill the silence by making plans they don’t intend to honour.
It could mean a lot of things, it could mean that he has a crush on you, so he wants to spend time with you. Also, it could be that he wants to get to know you more.
It could mean one of two things; they either do it intentionally or unintentionally. Most times, if a man is interested in you, he will pay compliments to the people around you to get your attention. Also, if he calls them by name, you’ll be shut out, he may be doing that on purpose, so don’t respond.
It’s one of the signs that he’s not interested in you if he makes plans for an appointment and doesn’t show up, or cancels it with flimsy excuses. When that’s done, there’s not much to go on. There’s a big difference between someone being busy while showing a lot of interest in you, and not caring enough to show up. It’s better to find someone who treats you right.
It can be hard to deal with being let down by a man you thought was different. However, you don’t have to condemn yourself about what transpired. You deserve attention and time, so be hopeful, the right person will surely come along. I’m looking forward to reading your comments, and also share this with any friends and family who may need this as well.