Eye Contact During Sex (9 Tips For Making Eye Contact During Sex)

by April Maccario

When it comes to intimacy between two people, you’ll probably agree that it’s possible to either have raw sex or make love. If you notice the sexual spark between you and your man

isn’t quite what it used to be, it may be because you both have unconsciously made a habit

of just having sex over time rather than making love. 

When this issue comes up, many couples usually think adopting new styles or role-playing may bring back the bedroom fire. Okay, that may work, but many times, it’s the simple things that make the difference. 

Research shows that small moves such as holding hands more frequently, cuddling, and even making eye contact during intercourse could maintain the spark in the bedroom. 

Yes, you read that right, making eye contact. Couples who don’t look at each other at all when ruffling the sheets are missing out on the opportunity to feel closer. Eye contact takes sexual activity from just thrusting for pleasure to a higher level of intimacy. If you’re going to try it, here are some tips to help you initiate eye contact with your man during love-making.

9 Tips For Making Eye Contact During Sex

1. Practice

You may not believe it, but making eye contact can be hard sometimes. Research shows eye contact can be compelling, it's one of the nonverbal ways of telling someone that you are either comfortable with them or not. Therefore, if you don't do it right, you could end up sending mixed signals or a wrong message altogether. 

Even when you’re not getting down and dirty, it might be great to steal glances at him more often, e.g., at the dining table while eating or when you've just woken up on a non-work day. Sometimes, it could be a three seconds-glance, at other times, you could make it much longer to appreciate what excites you about his physical attributes secretly. 

If he notices and looks back at you, let out a smile, so he'll know you are not giving him a suspicious look but rather an "I'm lucky to have you" look. This way, you'll get used to making eye contact with him without being uncomfortable or making him feel equally weird. 

2. Initiate sex with eye contact

initiate sex with eye contact

If you are the type that only gets down when your partner shows interest in intimacy, initiating eye contact could be useful for you. Some people find it a bit difficult telling their men they want to make love because they are shy. Others don't want their partner to think of them as too sexually demanding. 

Regardless of how you feel, it may be easier to initiate sex by looking at him seductively. Not only would he pick up your ‘green light,’ but it'll also make him feel wanted and loved as opposed to having sex as a duty or routine. Altogether, you'll find eye contact during sex much more comfortable.

3. Increase the lighting

If you prefer intimacy with all the lights off, there's no point in making eye contact when you and your partner can't see each other. Don't get me wrong; having sex in the dark can be quite adventurous. It eliminates a lot of awkwardness and lets couples who are open to trying new things express themselves without being shy. 

However, being able to lock eyes with him even if it's for a few seconds is the goal. I've heard a couple of people say they are shy and it has nothing to do with being with someone new. Some women are not just very comfortable once they are naked, and it doesn't matter if it's a one-night stand

So, if you are more comfortable keeping the lights off during sex, that's fine, but if you want to work some magic with your eyes, he’ll have to see them. You don't have to light up the whole room. A small dim table lamp might be enough for you to make eye contact during sex.

4. When is the right time?

Okay, it looks like something is about to happen, the kissing is getting intense, the tops and pants are starting to fly, you man is caressing your boobs, maybe he's even about to initiate oral sex, but you are wondering when would be a great time to make eye contact with him.

You're going to have to trust your guts because there's no inappropriate time. It'll help you to know that men are visual creatures. A woman can keep her eyes closed right from foreplay till she reaches orgasm, while a man almost can't, your body is part of what excites him. 

So, the fact that his eyes may be open almost throughout sex makes it easy for you to lock eyes with him passionately. Furthermore, during sex, your emotions are at a primal level, so you won't have to fake making eye contact during sex as long as he's someone you feel strongly about. 

Trust me; your emotions won't betray you, they'll tell you when you need to give him that ‘I want you,’ look. It could be during foreplay, but the best time would be when he's inside of you, perhaps on top of you. This moment, when you are physically ‘one’ matters a lot. A gentle pull of his hair combined with caressing of his face while you give him that ‘you are the only one I want’ look will tell him passionate things words can’t express.

5. How long should you maintain eye contact

Many women say it can be overwhelming for them to open their eyes, let alone make eye contact during sex. Some say keeping the eyes closed makes it easier to focus on the pleasure and lock out possible distractions. Keep in mind that the eye contact you want to make with your partner during sex isn't a move that has to last forever.

Research shows that three seconds is enough to create an impact. The truth is, there is no thumb rule to this thing, it’s something that should happen naturally. In fact, the longer you are comfortable making eye contact during sex without faking it or being weird, the stronger the connection you'll share. 

If there's going to be any rule here, I'll say, avert your eyes just before it starts to get weird. Please permit me to say avoid anything above six seconds. Again, more research shows that people start to feel uncomfortable when eye contact lasts beyond nine seconds. 

6. Take the top position

take the top position

Your man can be on top of you thrusting away, and you'll never make eye contact. Some men do this when they want to maintain thrust and kiss your neck or work your ears simultaneously. Also, because men don't usually find it easy to look at women they don't have feelings for during sex, they hide behind elusive sex styles to avoid looking at you. 

Altogether, the chance of making eye contact this way becomes significantly reduced or almost impossible. However, choosing to be on top gives you more control during intimacy. Not only will you find it easy to make eye contact, but you’ll also have some control over the pace of the sexual activity.

7. Make it more than once

It's okay if you can make passionate eye contact more than once during sex. While you might be comfortable, make sure he is as well. You'll notice his reaction if he finds your passionate gaze enticing and intimidating. For example, a three to four-second passion-filled gaze could make him respond with an intense kiss or an increase in the thrust.

It also depends on how long the sex lasts altogether, if it's a quickie, making eye contact once is sufficient. If it's long enough, you can passionately lock eyes more than once if that’s something both of you are comfortable with.

8. Make it natural

As I said earlier, your emotions will guide you, so you don't have to be fake-ish about it. It’s essential to be natural when you want to look away. For example, if you look at your man and he responds well, slide your eyes away naturally when you decide you don't want the eye contact to last too long. 

If it's too sudden, he might think you are uninterested. You can gently close your eyes to focus more on the non-visual part of the sexual activity, such as his sound or the sensation you may be experiencing.

9. Make it fun

Your sex life with your partner doesn’t need to be a mono-directional routine. You can make your eye contact enticing by adding playfulness into your interaction together. Research shows a significant increase in sexual excitement when you combine closing your eyes and opening them now and then. 

You'll get more excitement from the sensation, your imagination, and what you can see. Again, you don't have to be fake-ish, if he's someone you are in love with and it’s not a fling, making eye contact will come to you naturally once it's on your mind to do so.

FAQs

What does it mean when a man looks you in the eyes while making love?

The eyes are expressive which is why they are called the twin souls to the heart. When a man looks into your eyes during lovemaking, he wants to know how much you’re enjoying the sex. Sometimes though, a guy is trying to form an emotional connection to show the extent of his love.

Is eye contact a sign of love?

Eye contact can be one of the signs to know when someone loves you. The eyes can tell you when someone is being sincere or faking their feelings. If you can't read people’s expressions though, you might not be able to tell someone’s feelings by merely looking into their eyes.

How can I feel more connected during sex?

You can feel more connected to someone by getting to know them first. Develop emotional attachment with them first before you introduce sex into the relationship. If the relationship is ongoing, pause sex for a while and explore the emotional aspect. The sex will be more emotionally driven than before.

Why does my boyfriend close her eyes when we make love?

Some people keep their eyes closed out of intense pleasure during lovemaking. Some, however, do so to hide their feelings, especially if it’s not what they want you to see. If you look closely, you can easily tell what your boyfriend is feeling by looking into his eyes. 

Why does a person avoid eye contact?

People avoid eye contact so you don’t know what they are feeling. You can make your body hide your emotions, but your eyes can easily give you away. For example, when someone is lying, they find it hard to maintain eye contact. Their eyes flicker or they blink too fast.

To Sum Things Up

Remember, there’s no thumb rule, making eye contact is something natural. Keeping eye contact during sex can be an effective way of connecting deeply without saying much. After all, the eye holds the details. I hope you found the article useful and enjoyable? It’ll be great to know what you think in the comment section. Also, please feel free to share if you want others to read it.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *