Do High School Relationships Last? (11 Things That Make It Last)

by April Maccario

The hard truth is that most high school relationships do not last. A HuffPost article once revealed that only about 2% of high school sweethearts stay together long enough to say 'I do' in North America. Another statistic shows that even less than 2% of ALL marriages are to a high school sweetheart. 

Why is the stat so low, is it that the remaining 98% didn't love each other? Probably not. Is love a factor? Yes, but you’ll agree with me that it takes more than feelings to make a relationship last, especially relationships between youngsters.

If I had to guess, I'd say so many high school relationships fail because the maturity level of an average high school student is simply not advanced enough to make an informed choice of a life partner.

More so, feelings die, attraction fades, priorities change, and so do most of the other things that attract young people to each other. So, what does it take to beat the odds, and how do high school relationships last? Stay with me, I'm about to share all of that with you.

What It Takes To Make A High School Relationship Last

1. Communication

Communication is one of the essential tools required to build a love that lasts. It is what keeps a couple truly connected through thick and thin. A high school relationship is no different. If anything, it needs it more

There will undoubtedly be a lot of bumps on the road as the relationship progresses. Without the right communication skills to navigate these bumps, misunderstandings tend to fester into something else that might eventually lead to a breakup. 

Short of reading each other’s minds, conveying your needs to your partner is one of the bases that cannot be left uncovered.

From conflict resolution to healthy sex life, communication is key to having an all-around happy union. Love in high school may even advance to a long-distance relationship, but the couple needs to learn how to communicate effectively when things are bad and good. 

2. Commitment

commitment

No one stays in love forever. That smitten stage where you view your partner and relationship through a heart-shaped glass always passes. The rose-tint fades, and suddenly the same person that could do no wrong in your eyes becomes just another imperfect human prone to making mistakes.

This reality is why so many high school relationships remain short-term. Many young people simply don't have the range to commit to someone enough to stay when the veil clears. Not that anyone can blame them, it is hard enough being a student, balancing that kind of responsibility with commitment would be a challenge for anyone.

Does this mean married people only see their spouse's flaws? Not necessarily. It means that they have decided to commit to their significant other despite those flaws. It means choosing each other every day, not just when things are rosy.

3. Honesty And Openness

A wise person once told me that honesty and openness are like two sides of the same coin. While honesty connotes integrity and truthfulness, openness means giving total access without restriction. An honest person would not lie when asked questions, but someone who is open volunteers vital information, not just what they are asked. 

If trust is the foundation on which a lasting partnership is built, honesty and openness form the underlying basis on which trust forms. These two attributes are necessary between high school couples, especially when things start to get real.

Grudges have no place in a relationship where openness and honesty exist. Stonewalling may have worked while you were both in 10th grade, but if you intend to remain together for the long haul, it has to go.

4. Patience And Understanding

patience and understanding

No matter how well you get each other, altercations will happen, this is as true for any partnership as it is for high school sweethearts. The good news is that disagreements tend to strengthen the bond between couples. Making up after an argument is easy, the hard part is getting there.

We all will have to exercise a lot of patience for the other to simmer down when things get hot. It is a virtue required to deal with oneself properly, let alone another human being. 

Likewise, relationships simply cannot last without both parties understanding the kind of person they are in it with. Getting who your partner is and where they are coming from is vital to a lasting union. Thankfully, this shouldn't be an issue for high school sweethearts since they have the rare opportunity of knowing each other from their formative years.

5. Sacrifices

Not all high school sweethearts get lucky enough to grow together both physically and otherwise. Parents move, priorities change, college happens, and before you know it, what seemed like eternal love is being dragged apart by too many forces beyond your individual control.

One of the struggles most couples begin their relationship in high school face is long distance. When a couple gets pried apart physically, a lot can happen.

New place, new city, new school, new friends, and countless opportunities. In the face of all these, their love and commitment, among other things, will be put to the test. It'll take a significant amount of sacrifices on both sides for the relationship to even stand a chance.

6. Friendship

Feelings change, but a true friendship stands the test of time. Unlike dating in high school that can run seamlessly on chemistry and hormones, staying together in the 'real world' requires much more than that.

Regardless of how much a couple loves each other, it is absolutely normal to experience a fluctuation in their spark. Nurturing a platonic bond helps you build physical and emotional intimacy that serves as a safety net to fall back on when this happens. It helps both of you settle comfortably into life together without feeling insecure and also to be more open with each other.

This does not necessarily mean high school lovers have to be friends first before their relationship can last, in fact, dating someone you used to be just friends with is not without its issues.

7. Co-Evolution

In biology, when the evolution of two species reciprocally affects one another, sometimes leading to a mutualistic relationship between the two, it is called coevolution. In a similar vein, a couple that intends to stay together needs to grow together. 

When one partner evolves and the other stays the same, the gap that ensues will eventually get filled by different things, many of them distracting. This type of growth doesn't have to be in the same field, it just has to be mutual. You simply cannot expect a relationship to last when both partners are not on the same track.

Growing together avails the couple the opportunity to mold each other and advance as a team. Without this, that union simply cannot last.

8. Shared Goals

shared goals

In the same vein as evolving together, sharing a series of goals as a couple helps cement your bond. There is nothing wrong with putting your roots down in different areas and growing in your respective undertakings. Nevertheless, having an “us” thing to strive towards gives you more reason to make it work.

These goals can either be big or small, short-term or long-term. They can be anything from where you both hope to be in five years to the kind of family you intend to start together someday. You and your high school sweetheart can also set a goal of where you both intend to go to college.

If most of your goals are different, that’s fine too. You can just as easily find a midpoint and aspire towards them together.

9. Romance/Intimacy

Keeping the romance alive is important to the success of any relationship, but maybe a little more for those that originate in high school. While being with the same person for so long certainly has its perks, it is not without its hurdles. Though many high school sweethearts break up, see other people then get back together, some don't get to feel what it's like to be with another person.

It's easy to let go and slip into a routine of apathy when you get comfortable with your partner. Also, as life hustle kicks in, taking whatever time you have to yourself becomes a need. It is important to stretch your legs on your own and breathe sometimes, yet, it is equally necessary not to lose sight of the little things.

Keeping the intimacy alive doesn't necessarily require elaborate planning or long romps in the sheets. A loving touch, a welcome hug, remembering to say I love you, and spending quality time together can keep the sense of loss of what else could be out there out of long-term relationships.

10. Preparing For Changes

Change, being a constant factor, is neither limited to a certain age group nor is it a gender thing; everyone goes through it. Recognizing and accepting this early on is a huge plus for young lovers, and it increases their chances of beating the odds. 

Realizing you're not the same person you were in middle school and will probably not be the same ten years from now helps you come to terms with your high school boyfriend undergoing change too. 

This realization gives you ample time to prepare for these changes and what that might mean for your relationship. This, in turn, helps you support one another as you move from one stage of life to the next.

11. Keeping Your Priorities Straight

keeping your priorities straight

High school loves are notorious for their ups-and-downs. Between hormones, teenage angst, keeping up with friends, and dealing with classes, it’s easy to get caught up. This is why parents try to keep their babies from adding the stress of dating on top of that until they are emotionally mature enough to handle it.

However, there is only so much a parent or guardian can do to shield you. If you are old enough to have a relationship, it is your responsibility to make sure you keep it from interfering with other aspects of your life, including your studies. They can overlap at times, but not all the time. 

When you and your high school sweetheart cultivate this habit early on, it’ll help you keep your priorities straight later. It’s an attribute that can go a long way in ensuring the longevity of your relationship.

FAQs

How long does the average high school relationship last?

The average high school relationship usually does not last very long. Teenage lovers are not the most patient bunch, so it is kind of a big deal if they date for a couple of months. If I had to put a number on it, I’d say anywhere between two weeks to six months.

Why do high school relationships fail?

High school affairs fail most of the time when the rush of infatuation between both parties wears off. Many teenagers cannot handle the reality of what a long-lasting relationship entails. They also fail when one partner outgrows the other because as priorities change, so do their needs. 

How likely is it to marry your highschool sweetheart?

According to Brandon Gaille, only about two percent of marriages in recent times started from high school. Although that’s 25% higher than the number of people who got married to their high school sweetheart in the 1940’s, the probability is still pretty low.

Are high school relationships worth it?

While many connections formed at that stage usually don’t endure for long, the parties involved can certainly take away a lesson or two from them. On the other hand, it is hard to say if these lessons are worth the negative effect it can have on an individual.

How likely is it to marry your first love?

The above Brandon Gaille statistics also note that 25 percent of women marry their first love, and this aligns with the numbers in another survey. Although a YouGov study says only 13% of the British general population were married to their first love as of 2014, I’d say there is a fairly good chance.

To Conclude

Not all of us will end up with our high school boyfriend. The fact is, most of us won’t. That said, this article elucidates what can be done to try and make it work. If you found the list helpful, kindly share it with others and leave a comment while you are here.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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