Dating Someone With Trust Issues (7 Noteworthy Tips)

by April Maccario

Dating someone with trust issues can be very exhausting if you don't know how to deal with that insecurity. It's not impossible to cultivate a healthy relationship with such a person, you just have to make little adjustments for things to work. However, how do you thrive without the support system that’s supposed to be keeping you up? 

It may seem practically hopeless to get along with a partner that has issues of trust, but no one is perfect, right? Dating them is one thing, but will a long term relationship with such a person work? Before you get into this relationship, always keep it at the back of your mind that it's not your place to overcome these problems for him.

Maybe you’re that person that will ease his distrust, and restore his faith in people again. Where there’s a will, there’s a way; however, getting someone to a place where they can rely on you takes a lot of time, effort, and consistency on your part, but it’s possible.

If you've decided that this guy is worth the work, you're going to have to keep that energy for as long as possible. I wrote out a couple of tips to help you. 

7 Tips To Date A Guy With Trust Issues

1. Learn the love language 

Learn the love language

Learning the love language of your partner is very important. Some people have words of affirmation as one of the best ways to communicate love to them. Telling them how you feel about them and showing them as well would help remove suspicion or doubt when such arises. 

You could be doing the most to get to them, but because what you're doing isn't the love language they appreciate, all your efforts will be in vain. Whether or not your partner has trust issues, knowing his love language helps you communicate to him in clear terms how you genuinely feel. 

Sending a text message, or calling him regularly so he knows what you’re up to, could be the acts of services he needs.

2. Be consistent 

Being consistent makes you a very dependable person. It would be easier for your partner to believe you if he can depend on you; the more unpredictable you are to your partner, the harder it is for him to believe a thing you say. Begin with the little things before moving up to others. 

If you want to be honest with your partner, keep at it. Don't tell the truth about something today and lie about something else later on. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if that's unstable, the relationship is bound to crash over time. Consistency makes you trustworthy to your partner. 

3. Be patient 

If this guy has issues with trust, dating him will require some patience. It takes a while for two people to rely and depend on each other. Give your partner time to get over what may have led to them having problems with confidence in a relationship. 

Remember, it's not your job to teach him how to trust, but you can definitely show him you can be relied on.  Any little thing could have them doubting your motives and intentions, and I know, at this point it’s both aggravating and annoying. However, if you want things to work, hang in there a while and keep showing him how reliable you are.  

4. Find out what it's really about 

Imagine trying to solve a problem you're not even aware of, that's what it's like when you try to help with a cause you know little about. Start by talking about it with your partner, open up to him about how you truly feel, and let him know you're willing to help regardless

You may find that he had a traumatic childhood experience that makes it difficult for him to depend on anyone, or maybe in a past relationship, he was severely hurt by the person he trusted. This revelation helps you know just what your partner needs to help him get over the trust issue.

5. Avoid trying to fix him 

There's a thin line between helping your partner get over something and trying to fix him. You can't make a person rely on you by forcing them to be what they are not. The decision to trust you is solely theirs. It has nothing to do with you at all but everything to do with them and you shouldn't forget that. 

Make a conscious effort to remind yourself that you're not in control of this guy’s mind. However, just give all the help they need and be supportive throughout this process. If you get to where you think you've done all you can for this guy, but things aren’t going the way you planned, it doesn't mean he is broken and needs fixing. 

6. Don't be judgemental 

Don't be judgemental

Whatever you do, try not to sound judgy when you're communicating with your partner. It’ll make him get defensive, and when those walls go up, there’ll be a lot more on your plate. You may feel like ‘pointing out his sins’ will magically reset his heart and mind, if wishes were horses, am I right? 

It may seem like the best thing to do or say at the time, but it’s better to let him know that you're genuinely concerned about his happiness and want the best for him. Your significant other should also be aware that you're willing to do your part to make sure this relationship is healthy enough for both of you. 

Certainly, it's important that you're both ready to do what it takes to make it work or the entire effort is pointless

7. Think of you too

I can't stress how important it is to think about yourself as well in any relationship. You could get so drawn in and focused on helping them get over this insecurity you forget yourself. Make sure you're not taking on more than you can bear, and that the relationship isn't turning into an emotionally abusive one. 

FAQs

Can you date someone with trust issues? 

Yes, it's possible to date someone who has issues trusting you, but they're a few things you have to take into consideration. First, it’s no fault of yours and it's not your duty to fix this guy, you can only offer help, but the rest is up to him. 

Should I tell my boyfriend I have trust issues? 

Communication is important in every relationship, and although admitting your weaknesses seems like a lot, it’s important. This way, your boyfriend won’t mistake your actions for something else. 

Why do I have trust issues in relationships? 

Trust issues can come from past relationships or a rough childhood. You're not weird at all because you find it difficult to rely on your partner, and the good news is that it's possible to overcome that fear of disappointment if you learn to let go and let love.

How do you date a girl with trust issues? 

You must discover the cause of this mistrust, whether it is from a past relationship or a rough childhood. It'll help you understand where she's coming from and how she thinks. Find out what her love language is as well and relate with her on those terms. Be consistent with whatever you do as well.

Why does my boyfriend have trust issues?

Your significant other probably had challenges trusting people way before you got into his life. It's possible that in his past relationship, his heart got broken by someone he trusted. Such problems could generally develop from bad experiences, and maybe sometimes, you unconsciously do things that remind him of those moments. 

All In All

I hope you enjoyed this article. To have a good relationship with someone who finds it hard to trust, you have to keep in mind it has nothing to do with you. I’d like to know your thoughts in the comment box below, please share this article with your friends as well. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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