Dating A Highly Intelligent Man (9 Things To Consider)

Last updated on June 5, 2022 by April Maccario

Intelligence isn’t just admired, it’s attractive. Many people love making friends with smart guys whose intelligence precedes them. Being in the presence of such a person can feel intimidating. We admire with envy at how they glide their way through different walks of life and conversations. 

One can only wonder what it must be like to date such a person. The things they’ll say, or how fast they’ll deduce a problem, it’s simply amazing.

Before you hop on that dating site for intellectuals, you have to make sure you’re ready to date someone with such intelligence. In other words, know what to expect. There are things many women like myself wish we knew before delving into the world of dating a guy with a high IQ. 

In this article, we will address 9 things to consider when dating smart guys. These tips will show you how to understand your partner better and how to handle being with such a smart guy.

9 Things To Consider When Dating a Highly Intelligent Man

1. Decision-making takes a while 

Smart guys may be difficult to comprehend as they like to be analytical and logical about every decision regardless of how basic the issue is. Whenever a smart man needs to decide, it is usually based on risk assessments, reviews, predictions, and history. 

It is almost like they are looking for every possible reason to reject an idea. Ironically, when you push or apply more pressure on him, he gets suspicious and delays further.

Their ability to deeply scrutinize an idea before making a decision makes them excel in their careers. However, applying this attribute to relationships can be challenging for you as a partner. You need to understand that they like to take their time, but you will be glad you waited once they conclude. 

2. There will be subtle competitions

Without a clue or reason, a smart guy finds himself making almost anything and everything a competition. However, many women find this characteristic quite annoying and irritating. For instance, you decide to go hiking together, and instead of enjoying the serene environment, he may on things like who gets to the top first. 

Understandably, there are times when having a friendly competition with your partner is healthy and fun, but having to treat everything as competition will eventually have even the calmest person gritting their teeth in agony.

However, those are some of the perks of dating a guy with a high IQ, try not to take it too personal as it’s the ambitious side of him trying to excel. Most times, he does not even realize when the competitor in him comes alive, so feel free to decline such competitions whenever it comes up.

3. They are strong-willed

Eight out of ten times, the smart people are correct, which makes them confident in their ability to make the right decisions at all times. However, it can pose a challenge when dating someone like this. 

Just as they love to analyze and remain logical in their decisions (regardless of how long it may take), they also do not change their minds easily. It takes more than persuasion to convince smart guys that they are wrong.

They are so used to being right that having to experience being wrong is something too alien to accept graciously. So, when you point out that he is wrong about something, be ready to have him feel like it is a personal attack. That’s because, to him, being right is a necessity and not a possibility.

4. Their ambition is a priority

their ambition is a priority

One thing you should know is that people that are really smart have probably always prioritized academic success and achievements over relationships of any kind - romantic and platonic. 

Therefore, it is not uncommon for them to fill their minds with lofty goals that consume their energy; leaving them with little for other areas of their lives — like your relationship. So while he may want to build a relationship with you, it will always feel like you’re competing with his career. 

This doesn’t mean they can’t sustain a relationship. It simply means it doesn’t come naturally to them. You have to be ready to take baby steps with him by planning dates but also knowing that one thing could come up last minute, and he may have a hard time choosing you.

5. Independence

When I speak of independence here, I am referring to your man’s independence and yours. You see, smart guys don’t have a problem with spending time alone. This can be a positive trait because it means their decision to be with you is for the right reasons and not out of loneliness, as is the case in many relationships. 

On the other hand, a guy who is used to doing things at his own time and preference may find it difficult to accommodate someone else, and you may struggle on this front. 

Women that love company and spending quality time with their partners won’t cope with such a guy, they need one that is as they are. That way, there will be a fair balance of emotions rather than a situation where you feel emotionally deprived because of your partner’s unavailability.

6. Insecurity

The IQ of many smart guys is what makes them attractive, but at the same time, their presence can be intimidating. I remember dating a guy whose intelligence sometimes left me feeling insecure, mainly because his areas of interest did not appeal to me. 

If you find yourself with a man who has a high IQ, you must put into consideration your self-esteem as being around them for a long time can make you feel insecure sometimes.

Of course, there is no need to hide your shortcomings; rather, ask questions and see what new thing you can always learn from him. For instance, you may choose to have dates where you openly compliment the traits that you love about each other and your weaknesses. 

That way, you will see that he also has his shortcomings, and you, on the other hand, also possess some unique strengths he doesn’t.

7. Have a vision

A woman who intends to date a guy who’s really smart needs to have a vision for herself. Many brilliant men don’t want someone who is just pretty with no dreams or ambition. Just as they are ambitious and driven to chase their dreams, they will also want a woman who shares a similar vision for herself. 

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If you choose not to have an ambition or plan for your life, guys like this will eventually get bored of you. You see, brilliant men are like a sponge, open-minded, and ready to absorb new knowledge regardless of if they believe it or not. They believe that no knowledge is a waste, so if you do not add value to their life, they will not see the need to engage with you any further.

Don’t be afraid to share your dreams as clever men like to see their women excel in their careers.

8. Smart men handpick their circle

smart men handpick their circle

When dating clever men, you must realize that your social circle might change. Intellectual men do not mingle with everyone they come across at a dinner party. They take their time to handpick their friends and social circles. This might come off as snobbish, but they do not see the need to be around people who do not add value to their lives. 

One more thing to consider is how they’ll treat your friends or even you at social gatherings. If you’re not half as smart, you may feel the pressure when he’s talking to his peers. Since he’s used to being heard and admired, he may not notice when he snobbishly laughs at something you or your friends say.

9. They are straightforward

A highly intelligent guy is not one to beat around the bush or sugarcoat his words. He is the kind of guy who would tell you the truth even if it is not pleasant. So if you have made a mess of yourself and you need a pity party, you might as well count him out.

Also, some highly intelligent men take words literally. They do not play games and prefer when a person is honest and not teasing.


Why do highly intelligent people struggle with love?

While a person may be smart, it does not mean that they have a high emotional quotient (EQ), which is responsible for our emotions and how we interact with other people. Unfortunately, many highly intelligent people often neglect this area of their life. They struggle with love because they are used to living independent lives based on their preferences. So they find it challenging to create room for someone new in their lives.

How can I attract my man intellectually?

If you want to attract a man intellectually, you must be ready to come to the table with your wits and humor. Intellectual men like to learn new things, so ensure you do a lot of reading and be open to learning new things. Learn how to maintain a conversation as an intellectual man likes a woman who can carry on a conversation effortlessly.

How can you tell if a man is intelligent?

Highly intelligent men are flexible in their thinking; however, they need to be convinced without a doubt for them to believe that they are wrong. Another characteristic of highly intelligent men is that they are excellent listeners and effective time managers. 

How can you tell if someone is intelligent?

Intelligent people are deep thinkers. They are not erratic as they are rational in their thoughts. Smart people always tend to know a little about everything, and they do not make excuses.

How do you approach love?

First, remember that you cannot force anyone to love you or treat you right. So, you must be patient in your approach and give the other person room to fall in love with you naturally. Avoid being too critical of your partner and set realistic expectations to avoid disappointments and resentment.

In Conclusion

Highly intelligent men make great partners, but you must have put the above list into consideration before dating a guy like this. I hope you enjoyed this article, if yes, don’t forget to share it with your friends and family. Please leave a comment below, I look forward to hearing from you.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

One comment on “Dating A Highly Intelligent Man (9 Things To Consider)”

  1. Your insight is going to save my marriage. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this article.

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