Dating A Deaf Person (7 Tips For Dating a Deaf Person)

Last updated on November 9, 2022 by April Maccario

It may be hard for you to imagine but the truth is, deaf people are just like everyone else. They have complex lives with unique interests, hopes, humor, and personalities.

Sometimes, when hearing people discover that their love interest is deaf or hard of hearing, they make the mistake of overthinking it. Just because a person is hard of hearing doesn’t mean they aren’t complete people anymore. In fact, some have learned amazing skills like lip reading, and sign language, and some can hear sounds with their hearing aids.

 If you think dating deaf people is the most difficult thing in the world, this article is for you. Just like dating a non-deaf person, dating a deaf person can be tough for the most part, but it's not impossible. If you’re wondering how to get this done, below are a few tips on this. 

7 Tips For Dating A Deaf Person

1. Learn to be more expressive

When you're talking with a deaf person, you've got to teach yourself to be more expressive. As you can imagine, subtle and vague gestures just won't cut it. Communication with a hearing person is already quite challenging, so you can imagine how challenging it may be for a completely deaf person. Deaf people communicate just fine, you’ve just got to learn how to communicate effectively with them. 

One great way to do this is to consider learning a few sign language phrases if your date speaks sign language. Instead of struggling to mouth everything, perhaps you would prefer to learn a few important sign language expressions. Even if you aren't quite good at sign language, try to ensure your actions and gestures are noticeable while taking care not to overdo it.

Communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship, this doesn't change when a person experiences hearing loss. In fact, the need for good/ proper communication is even more necessary in that case.

2. Pick a well-lit place for your dates

pick a well lit place for your dates

A dim lit room may be quite romantic, especially for a third or fourth date. However, for a date with a victim of hearing loss, that may not be the best pick. If you aren't fluent in sign language, your deaf or hard of hearing date may have to read your lips. 

You may be lucky if they use hearing devices, however, you must make plans to accommodate them if they don’t. You don't want him straining his eyes to see what you're saying if he’s good at lip reading. That could interrupt the flow of things. 

If you have a daytime date or a date in a well-lit restaurant, your love interest has a way better chance of understanding what you're trying to say. Getting a badly lit area for a date is just putting unnecessary strain on an already challenging communication. 

If your dating lives have reached the point where you prefer to meet up at each other's homes, that's even better because you can control the lighting better there. If you're having a dinner date at your place, make sure to fix the bulbs around the dining area so you don't have problems. If you're going for a Netflix and chill type of date, perhaps consider leaving the lights on.

3. Don't dwell on their disability

This should go without saying but it's important to mention. Dwelling on their disability would be the wrong thing to do. Especially if you're bringing it up in all your conversations. This does not mean you need to neglect the fact that he's hard of hearing, you can ask necessary questions about his age, his hobbies, and if he can read lips. 

Try to find out as much about him as you can; don’t assume anything. Just keep the questions short and necessary. Treat your date like an actual date, ask questions about his life, and tell him about yours. The goal, like every other date, is getting to know each other, so have that at the back of your mind. 

If you must ask him things about his hearing loss, ensure they're completely necessary to know. For example, how you can communicate with her. Fight the urge to ask questions that merely feed your curiosity. Disabled people are just like every other person, their hearing loss is just one aspect of their story. If he brings up aspects of his hearing loss or decides to talk about that, naturally flow with him; don’t treat it like a negative thing. Besides that, stick to more general topics. 

4. Take their family seriously

This isn’t the first tip but it's quite important. Apart from their local deaf community, an unhearing person’s family is their backbone and support system. You've got to respect and treat them right. If he takes you to meet his parents, it means he likes and trusts you, so be sensitive and respectful. 

Meeting the family is always one of the most daunting moments in your dating journey, it's normal to be a bit nervous. However, do your research about his family and stay conscious. You’ve got to let them know that they can trust you with their son and you aren't there to take advantage of him. 

When you're considered disabled in any way, your support system is your family and friends. They're the people who are guaranteed to protect you from the cruelty of ignorant and mean people out there, so have that in mind when you meet his family. First of all, if you take the bold step to ask a deaf person out, you've got to be sure that you're in for the long haul. That way, respecting and cherishing his family won't be much of a challenge for you. 

5. Protect them

If you're dating a deaf person, you need to accept that you're part of their inner circle now. It means you've got to protect and defend them. Not everyone is sensitive to disabled people. Some hearing people don't mind taking advantage of them. So, you're not only their partner, you're meant to look out for them too. 

It may be wrong to say that deaf people are weak, however, your partner will need you to stand up for them when the opportunity presents itself. You can do this by letting people know your partner is hard of hearing so hearing people don't keep barking statements at him when he’s not looking. 

Also, let him make most of the choices, especially when it comes to date locations or cinema seating. He's the only one who can tell if the conditions are right for him. Insist that you would sit down after he does, don’t assume that he’s okay where he is. He may not be able to admit that he’s uncomfortable. 

6. Get professional help

get professional help

You may need to speak to a professional when you're getting started dating a deaf person. Although dating a deaf person isn't so different from dating every other person, there are things you need to prepare yourself for. Sometimes, that can only be done by consulting a psychology therapy service for deaf people. 

Much like consulting a marriage counselor when you're trying to get your relationship in order, a therapist for deaf people can help you learn the best ways to communicate with your partner. They could help you figure out how to handle your sex life or how to hold a meaningful conversation with your partner when you’re getting started. 

They could also guide you through the things to say and the topics to avoid bringing up even with other deaf people. Consulting a professional is the best romantic gesture you can give to your deaf partner. It shows that you truly care about them and you're sensitive enough to get it right. 

7. Be yourself around them and don't treat them like they're weird

It's hard to act normal around a deaf date especially if this is your first time dating a deaf person. Managing relationships with people who can’t hear is a learning curve; you can't expect to get it right the first time or even the first few times around. You will make mistakes along the way but you will get the hang of it. So, try your best to be yourself. 

Going on a date with someone who has a hearing impairment can sometimes feel very different. Try not to get too nervous. Although they have challenges hearing, they're still just human. As long as you're careful not to speak about anything offensive, you're good to go. 

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
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It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.

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Another thing you need to remember is that he's also trying to get to know you so he may be nervous too. If you stay calm, it would make him feel comfortable enough to flow with a conversation. Also, being yourself would let him know he can talk to the real you. 

FAQs

Is it hard to date a deaf person?

There's this misconception that dating a hard of hearing person is really hard; deafness isn’t the end of the world. It may take slightly more work especially when it comes to communication. However, communication is already tough in every relationship. So, there isn’t much to fear.

What is considered rude to a deaf person?

It's very rude to grab a deaf person's hand while they're trying to make conversation through sign language. It's almost like you're pacifying them. It's also quite rude to shout words at them or get noisy knowing they won't hear you anyway. Another rude thing to do to a deaf person is to pretend to know sign language then flap your hands around stupidly.

How do you impress a deaf person?

The best way to impress a deaf person is to learn sign language. Showing them that you care enough to overlook their deafness and learn to communicate with them is the most impressive thing you could do for them. Another thing that could impress a deaf man is treating him like a hearing man.

How does being deaf affect relationships?

People with a hearing impairment can get frustrated, anxious and sometimes depressed. Battling deafness or any disability can be tough. Communication can be a serious problem for them so life can get a bit hard. If you're in a relationship with a deaf person, understanding this could be hard for you.

How do I cope with a deaf husband?

You're expected to love and support your deaf husband. However, people often forget how hard it is for the partner of a deaf person. As much as deaf people get frustrated and upset from time to time, their partners have a lot to deal with too. If you're married to a deaf person, take care of yourself too. Get help and speak to someone when you need to.

In Conclusion

I hope you found his article helpful. Remember, dating a deaf person can be a challenge but if you love this person, stay respectful and considerate. Please let me know what you think about this article in the comment section below and be sure to share it with your friends.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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