Cookie jarring is one of the hottest dating trends, but there’s nothing sexy about this one. When a person is cookie jarring you, it means that they are already either in a serious relationship or actively pursuing one with someone, yet are still talking to you.
This is one of the sweetest dating terms for having a side chick, but these people aren’t out to just bang you on the side. Instead, you’re their emotional backup. If their current relationship fails, they can bounce over to you. If the one they are pursuing is a waste of time, guess who’s still there? You again. You’re their security blankie so that they never have to be alone.
Why do these people insist on reaching their hand in the jar even though they already like someone else?
It’s not because it’s the latest dating trend. It’s not even because they want sex. This one is a bit more psychological than both of those.
Instead, people do this because they want to feel secure. They don’t want to be alone, either. That’s why they go running to their backup when their relationship starts to head south, or they bounce back to that one person in between relationships. They are cookie jarring that person to fulfill their own emotional needs. It’s common in serial monogamists.
If someone is cookie jarring you, it can take a moment to catch on, especially if they are not in a serious relationship. They could just be talking to someone else that they have better intentions with, but not be in a relationship. These signs of cookie jarring will let you know. The more you check off, the more likely you’re being cookie jarred.
He doesn’t call first, text first, or initiate plans unless he feels you drifting away. It’s because he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He might sidebar you when you’re together to make even less of an effort.
He’s all for spending time together when you make plans, but the cookie jarrer is known for being the person to cancel at the last minute too. He doesn’t get too close.
When you’re being cookie jarred, don’t expect to be a big part of his life. You won’t be showing up at work with surprise cookies or invited to things. He has someone else keeping him company.
The cookie jarrer never intended to in the first place. He just wants someone to talk to when he feelsinsecure about himself or his relationship. That’s why it’ll stay that way, too. You’re his backup in case the relationship with someone else fails.
This can make things confusing, but it does serve a purpose for him. He’ll occasionally open up as a way to keep you closer. He doesn’t want you to wander off or find another person, and if he opens up it will make you feel like you’re getting somewhere. Really, it’s just another tactic he uses to string you along.
He’s amazingly sweet. It keeps those butterflies in your stomach so that you’re the person that will stick around.
If you’re being cookie jarred, it’s because he’s a person that doesn’t want to be alone or feel insecure. Because of this, he won’t want you to stray, even if you’re not in a relationship. When you lose interest, he’ll find a way to pull you back into his arms.
It seems to be a part of the way he is with you. You’ve never heard about anyone close to him, and he’ll never include you in anything that he’s doing with someone else. It’s almost like you’re a side chick...
He also won’t want someone else to see the two of you together. To avoid that, he won’t want to go out in public if there’s a chance that she could see you two, or anyone could. Expect public plans to be out of town.
He already has someone he’s having serious conversations with, and he does not want to be extremely close to you. Instead, he’ll try to keep things light and fun. When he can’t, he’ll sidebar you.
This is because he doesn’t see a future with you. If he does mention a future, he’ll be vague and appear uninterested. He also won’t commit to future plans, like vacations in a year.
Paperclipping is the equivalent of ghosting you for no reason you can think of, and then popping back up later on down the road as nothing happened. People do this because they don’t want a relationship, but they don’t want to be forgotten either. That’s their issue, though. Ignore them.
Submarining is when a person drops off the face of the earth and then reappears several weeks or months later. As soon as you quit thinking about them, there they are once again. It’s because they are using you, or simply want you as a backup for something.
It’s just like being put on the bench by the coach. You’re talking and going out. Then, all of a sudden you’re sitting on the sideline watching them play the rest of the game. You’re still there, though, in case they want you back in the game. They won’t go on dates with you, but they’ll still text you.
Kittenfishing is when you intentionally tell little lies or do something to appear as something you’re not. For example, only taking pictures from the neck up when you’re overweight. Then, you also don’t mention it to the person. It’s not downright catfishing, hence the term kitten fishing.
You’re like the cookie in the jar. He can reach in and grab a bite when he wants, or put it back for later. It’s his way of keeping a backup in case it doesn’t work out with someone he’s really interested in or already in a relationship with.
Dating terms come and go, but the game stays the same. These are just putting a name on a common thing that others do in order to fulfill their own emotional needs. Have you ever been cookie jarred before? How did you find out the truth?