Breaking Up During Pregnancy (10 Vital Tips To Get Through The Storm)

by April Maccario

Breaking up during pregnancy can affect you health-wise. When this happens, you can certainly feel extremely hopeless. During pregnancy, you're naturally vulnerable, thus experiencing a breakup within this time can crush you holistically, scarring you for the longest time. I’m sure you didn't see this breakup coming the second you found out you were pregnant; don't worry, you're not alone.

The issue today isn't whether breaking up during pregnancy is ideal, but rather what you can do within this period to help you cater for your feelings while taking care of the new life forming within you. Doing both won't be very easy, but it must be done; there's no other option. 

More so, being an emotional wreck during pregnancy can affect your unborn child from pregnancy through to childbirth and even after. This article is here to help you through your breakup, keeping both you and your unborn child healthy and happy.

Tips To Handle A Breakup During Pregnancy

1. Don’t Blame Yourself

After a break up, a little self-reflection is essential and can be helpful to you since It teaches you to learn from mistakes made while in the relationship. What you mustn’t do, however, is dwell on what has already happened. Its spilled milk, and it can’t be fixed, no matter how hard you try. So, thinking about your breakup day and night is of no benefit to both you and your baby. 

As a woman, we naturally blame ourselves first for our relationships breaking. We often take the whole self-reflection steps further and blame ourselves for things that weren't even our fault. If you want to recover, this isn't the way to go, since it only leads to resentment and disappointment.  

2. Grieve Freely 

Give yourself ample time to grieve. Pregnancy on its own comes with a lot of pregnancy hormones and emotional changes and, as such, we’re often experiencing heightened emotions. With the added breakup, you're suddenly faced with the reality that your dreams and hopes for you and your baby have been thrown out the window and may never come through.

Pour out your feelings, and give yourself and baby the space to grieve your loss. Indulge in that huge ice cream tub with a box of tissues by your side while you watch a romantic comedy. Cry on your couch, if that's what will make you feel better and accept what's happened.

3. Understand That You’re Not Alone

Breaking up during pregnancy is much common that you'd imagine; you're not the first person, honey, so don't stress about it that much. The initial blow will indeed hurt, and its meant to, but after you've accepted what the situation is, it's best to try moving on by looking at things rationally.

Think about the other women who have also gone through this and realize how they've survived and perhaps blossomed after their ordeal. Take heart in their stories and know that ending a relationship while pregnant isn't the end of the world for you.

4. Rely On Friends And Family

The best place to find support at this time is through your family and friends. This support is free and ever-flowing; they love you too much to see you hurt consistently in your state. No doubt, breaking up is tough, and going through them during your pregnancy can take a severe toll on your baby.

It is, for this reason, that you need support from your family and friends. I understand you may want to withdraw from social interaction for a while, but keeping family close can be beneficial to your healing process. Talk to them and allow them to understand and console the best way they know-how.

5. Stay Strong 

You might think, seconds and days after your breakup, that you can't be strong enough for anything, but when you realize you have a life growing inside of you, it gives you a strength you never knew you had. Stay healthy for your baby, and fight for your well-being and theirs too.

Deciding to stay healthy in such situations often gives you a different perception of life after a while. More so, it might change your priorities and even those feelings you had for your ex. My advice? Forget about what's gone and gain strength from the responsibilities awaiting you.

6. Don't Make Any Major Decisions

Women get very vulnerable psychologically during pregnancies and also during breakups. This is because with pregnancy, you're filled with an influx of hormones, and most often, they affect your decision-making process. Making some decisions during this stage might cause you to live regrets after; thus, it's best to avoid those as much as possible.

Also, allow yourself to grieve and recover from the breakup before making significant decisions about anything and be sure that any decision you make is based on your will, and not your hormonal changes.

7. Learn Forgiveness 

To move on, you must ensure you're moving on with a clear mind and heart. This is very crucial for a relationship breakdown during pregnancy. After accepting your situation for what it is, there's no need to hold a grudge against your ex; it'll only come round to hurt you and your baby.

If he wronged you, do well to choose forgiveness and move forward with a cordial relationship. The child belongs to both of you, and as much as possible, you would want your kid to know and love his father, without any arguments between the parents.

8. Don’t Look Back

You’ve been hurt and traumatized by this breakup, and you have a little one well on the way. To be able to move forward without anxiety, you need to clear all the memories of your past relationship, such that nothing is holding you back.

This is the only choice since it prevents things from becoming even more complicated than they already are. If its gifts you received from the baby’s father, throw them away or donate them to those who can make use of them. Move on and move forward, thanking God it wasn’t a relationship breakdown after baby!

9. Change Your Focus

Sometimes, the best thing to do during this time shifts your focus. Take your mind off the breakup and the child’s father, and focus on the fact that there's a precious little life growing inside of you. Learn to cope with all the stress you'll experience, and work towards keeping your baby healthy, happy, and resilient.

All this can be done only when you finally accept that what's happened cannot be changed. Try new things, read books, and take on new responsibilities to help you transform your focus with ease.  

10. Make Your Baby Your Priority

Your baby's health should be the first and most important thing in your life now. To achieve health in your baby, you must be healthy and happy as a mother. As much as possible, create a conflict-free and positive environment where you can thrive till the baby is born. 

Also, be thankful that you’re not going to experience relationship problems after having a baby. Forget those things that threaten to stop you from achieving your goals, and focus only on something that will help you grow and survive.  

FAQs

Why Do Relationships Fall Apart During Pregnancy?

Most relationships tremble and wither away when there's a pregnancy because a lot of unhappiness starts existing. The unhappiness usually stems from a sense of anxiety and depression, where both parties find that they can't open up fully to each other about their emotions and feelings. 

Is your boyfriend not supportive during pregnancy? It might be because he’s a little anxious (or very anxious). Women get very emotional within this period, and as such, having their man be supportive goes a long way to prevent the relationship from falling apart.

Can Heartbreak Affect Pregnancy?

Breakups can get very physical as they cause a lot of emotional stress. Being stressed while pregnant can cause some long term health issues for both the mother and child. Studies suggest that significant bouts of depression and heartache tend to be the primary cause of ill health in babies up until the age of four.

Is It Normal To Hate Your Partner During Pregnancy?

Hating your partner during your pregnancy often happens because of your hormones and the new levels of emotions they're causing you to feel. The sudden changes often leave you emotional such that you always blame one thing or another on your partner. This happens very often, and even though we know we're unfair sometimes, we simply can't help it.

How Do I Deal With A Crazy Girlfriend During Pregnancy?

Treat us right during pregnancy, even when we act crazy. Some ways to soothe a woman when she’s acting up with her cute baby bumps include constant reassurance and encouragement that; we're doing something right by growing another human. Ask us what we need you to do for us, hold and hug us and show us all the affection the baby, and we deserve.

Is It Wrong To Yell While Pregnant?

As much as possible, avoid fighting, yelling, and shouting when pregnant, since they can be adverse for you as a budding mother. These actions leave us stressed out, and this can result in headaches, cramping, nausea, and even sleep apnea. In worst cases, excess emotions at the later stage of pregnancy can lead to preterm labor.  

On That Note...

It is vital to know that a breakup during pregnancy doesn’t mean you’re going to be alone forever, or that you’ll end up becoming a single mother forever. You can and will find love again, both in the eyes of your baby and in someone who values and respects you as a woman of substance and love. More so, don’t stop working on your dreams during this period, because of your current situation; you never know the kinds of opportunities you will receive within this period. 

If you enjoyed reading this article, feel free to leave a comment, and feel free to share with a friend that might be going through a similar period. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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