Why Men Fall Out of Love (11 Possible Reasons Why They Lose Interest)

by April Maccario

There are dozens of reasons why men fall out of love. Often, they’ve just “lost that lovin’ feeling,” as the song goes. They may just no longer want to be in any relationship, including the one with you. They want to date many women and/or just be accountable to themselves.

Men are actually biologically programmed to seek out multiple mates for the purpose of mating. They really weren’t made to be with one person, so when they feel smothered or too needed, they jump ship quickly. They just don’t see that as being a positive thing for their lives. 

In this article, we’ll explore the reasons that men fall out of love in detail. We’ll also look at some tips on what to do if your man does not love you because you deserve to be with someone who thinks you are just as special as you really are. Are you ready? Let’s get to it then!

Possible Reasons Men Fall Out Of Love

1. He Is No Longer Happy

This one hits home hard for me because my ex told me this after being together for five years. I didn’t even know how to respond to that; I did everything I could to make the relationship work; it just wasn’t working anymore. I actually saw this as a chance to move on with my life. I just didn’t see how I could do anything else to make him happy.

If you think your man is falling out of love because he is no longer happy and you want to make the relationship work, it’s important that you get to the bottom of the true reason he feels unhappy. Is there some need of his that is no longer being met? No one wants to be in a relationship where one partner feels unhappy, so consider moving on.

2. He Has Found Someone New

he has found someone new

According to Psychology Today, people fall in love and even marry repeatedly. It’s just a natural part of the world - falling in and out of love with many people. While divorce rates have finally leveled off a little, they are still astronomical compared to how they were in the old days. Back then, people stayed together regardless of how they felt.

Sometimes, men don’t feel like their needs are being met by their significant other, and they go out on a search for someone else. It may happen by accident, but nevertheless, it’s true that men weren’t really designed for monogamy. Instead, they were made to be with many women so that they can spread their seed and have many children.

3. He Thinks You Are Incompatible

Over time, many men just believe they are no longer compatible with the women they once loved. They feel like the interests, values, and feelings you once shared are just no longer there anymore. He may have the desire to be with you but feels that he’s being unfair to you since he just doesn’t feel that loving feeling anymore. 

4. He Doesn’t Feel Connected To You Anymore Due To Distance

Psychology Today says that absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. In fact, for many people, being away from their loved ones, especially for long periods of time, makes them feel disconnected from their lovers. The article explains that time apart can make love disappear, even if it was an all-consuming, passionate love.

Often, this happens when two people are away from one another for a long time, such as an absence due to the military, school, or jail. This is not to say that all relationships will fail if they have to be apart from one another; there are many successful long-distance relationships, and often the heart does grow fonder with space.

Rather, time apart can make a person realize that the relationship wasn’t meant to be. It’s just been too long since you have seen each other, so he forgot what it was like to be in love with you. He may have found someone new because he just missed you too much. There’s always the possibility that he will fall back in love with you again.

5. He Believes He Cannot Be Himself With You

Many men fall out of love because they just don’t feel like themselves when they are in relationships. Often, at the beginning of a relationship, a man (or woman) behaves in a way that he feels like his partner will appreciate and love. He may inadvertently act in the way she likes so that he can be with her, make love to her, and no longer be alone.

He may think that being with her is more important than being alone and act in whatever way that will keep her happy, even if that means he is no longer being himself. This is in no way her fault, as she just believes that is how he is. Time passes, and his true personality comes forth, showing her who he really is because you can’t “fake it” forever.

People cannot hide who they are forever, and the initial feelings produced by love wear off over time. This means that there needs to be a strong connection in the relationship if it’s expected to last through the test of time. If this foundation isn’t built, the true colors of the relationship will reveal themselves, showing any incompatibilities.

6. He Is No Longer Attracted To You

he is no longer attracted to you

This one stings a little bit, but all too often, it is one of those reasons why people fall out of love with each other. Attraction is a necessary component when falling in love with a person. The phrase “love at first sight” comes to mind. Over time, that initial physical attraction may fade, leaving what intact for the relationship to continue to grow?

There just has to be more to the relationship than lust and sex. There must be something that attracts you to your partner, or the relationship will not blossom. When there’s an emotional attraction, the physical connection just happens because of the strong bond that each person feels for the other. 

There just has to be something that merges you together, something more than just the physical attractiveness of your partner. Perhaps, he would like nothing more than to be with you, but he feels like it would be better to find someone he could be in love with rather than someone he is just “comfortable” with. He wants that connection again.

7. He Does Not Feel Intimacy Anymore

This is one of the top reasons that men fall out of love with their partners. They may feel like emotional and/or physical intimacy is missing. It’s important to distinguish the difference between the two. Many men fall out of love because their physical needs for sex are not being met; this causes them to no longer feel connected.

Emotional intimacy occurs when two people bond with one another, usually through conversations or through spending quality time together. If you don’t know whether there’s still enough intimacy in your relationship, the best thing you can do is to talk to your man to see what his thoughts are. You may even want to go to therapy together.

Of course, if you don’t want to spend the money or time going to counseling for couples, you could check out some self-help books on relationships and making them work. I recommend a book with questions that you can ask each other or a relationship workbook where you can actively participate in the content of the material.

8. He Doesn’t See A Future With You

This is another one of those reasons that men fall out of love that hits close to home for me. I’ve had exes who I was head over heels in love with who said the dreaded words, “I just don’t see a future with you.” Usually, they don’t even give a good reason for why they have fallen out of love with me. Sometimes, it just feels like a blow to the head.

I don’t know the real reasons why men have ended relationships for this reason, but I do recall one saying that I wasn’t girlfriend material. That’s okay, though; I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate and love me the way a man should. If your man says this to you and you don’t know what to do, you aren’t alone.

Other women have been through the same thing in life. Take charge of your life and find a man who will love you completely. You deserve to be in a relationship with a man who respects you and believes there is a future for your relationship, possibly even marriage, and children later on in life. 

9. His Needs Are Not Being Met

Men frequently fall out of love because they no longer feel complete in their relationship. Instead, your man may feel like there is something missing in his life. For example, he may not think that his intellectual needs are being met with the relationship and in his life in general. He turns on Jeopardy to get his brain stimulated instead of talking to you.

What are the needs of your man? Are you meeting all of them? Sometimes, men just do not feel appreciated. That’s something easy that you can fix in your life; just make a note to say “thank you” every day. Don’t let someone else steal your thunder; instead, take charge and improve your relationship by showing him why he fell in love with you.

10. He Doesn’t Think The Relationship Works

he doesn't think the relationship works

Many times, men just don’t want to fight anymore. One of you may be argumentative, while the other one is more agreeable. This can make for a difficult relationship, a sometimes exciting relationship, but a stressful one. If you feel that every time you try to discuss your relationship, he shuts down, he may be tired of fighting with you.

There’s a chance he may be falling out of love with you because he doesn’t feel as though the two of you are a team like you were at the beginning of your life together. Many men fall in love because of the excitement and passion, but this can fade over time, so there must be something more for him to hold on to. 

Another reason men fall out of love is that they just can't stand feeling as though they are being controlled or bossed around. They’d rather work together as a team rather than having a mother/son relationship where they think you are more like their mothers than you are their girlfriends or wives. 

11. He Feels You Are Too High Maintenance

Your man may feel that you are too needy and require more attention than he’s willing to give. He may think that you’d be better off with someone more suited to give you the type of constant care that you require. He may find your negative attitude and frequent complaints to be too much for him to handle. How do you act around him?

Do you cause a lot of drama? Have you been expecting too much from him? I remember a boyfriend once told me that I was high maintenance, and I really didn’t know what that meant, but I studied the topic and did some serious self-improvement in hopes that the next guy wouldn’t say that to me again. 

I decided that I wanted someone who would value and love me how I deserved it, but I always try to learn from the negative experiences I go through in life. I learned that high maintenance has a lot to do with neediness and the quest for constant validation. I learned how to achieve these things myself rather than relying on someone else.

What To Do If He Doesn't Love You

My first suggestion may sound pretty obvious, but it’s to just leave him. If you see all the signs that he’s no longer head over heels for you, you should say, “Next.” Find a guy who will treat you in the way that you deserve; he should appreciate everything about you and love you for who you are, not who he would like or would expect you to be. You are worth it!

Next, I suggest you give it time because sometimes, love evolves over time. You may just need a break from each other like Ross and Rachel on the show, Friends. Hopefully, you won’t take that long of a break, though. Time apart may give you both the chance to take a full inventory of your relationship and feelings for one another. Give him a chance to miss you!

Finally, you can always talk it over with him to determine why he fell out of love with you. If the reasons are simple to fix, make improvements; however, if he expects you to be someone you aren’t, don’t change yourself. You can find a new person who will appreciate you for who you are. You may just want to remind him of the reasons he fell in love with you in the first place. 

FAQs

What do you do when a man falls out of love with you?

In my opinion, you should get out of the relationship and find someone who appreciates who you are and loves you unconditionally. You don’t want to be with a person who doesn’t feel the same about you as you feel.

Can a man fall out of love with his wife?

Unfortunately, men can easily fall out of love with their wives. This happens frequently; often, the couple stays together for the sake of their children or because they have just been together so long that it's just more comfortable being together than being apart.

How do you know when your boyfriend is falling out of love with you?

Your boyfriend will probably pull away in some way. He may no longer be interested in sex or not see you as often as he once did. Watch for those signs and leave if you think he’s no longer in love with you.

Why do people fall out of love suddenly?

Some people find someone who they believe is better than the person they are with. Other times, too much time has passed, and the couple has just grown apart. Still, other times people are just unhappy and want out of the relationships they’re in.

How do men fall out of love quickly?

There isn’t really a step-by-step instructional manual, but for some men, love just means something different to them than what it means to women. Women view it as a pathway to a stable, long-term relationship where men trust their gut feelings.

To Sum Things Up…

Remember that falling in love is easy; it’s getting out of love that is the hard part. If you are in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same, it’s time to take action!

What is your experience with love? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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