Why Is He Ignoring Me? (15 Important Reasons)

by April Maccario

Why is he overlooking me? This question has been on your mind for days now, and you can’t find the most appropriate answer. Being ignored by anyone can be very painful, so when this attitude comes from your partner, it can get especially hurtful, causing an intense reaction within your heart. 

The sudden realization that you're being ignored can cause butterflies in your stomach, cause your heart to ache for days, and give you a migraine that threatens never to leave. 

I’ve been in this space, so I know how gray it can get and how much your self-esteem can get affected; you’re not alone. A relationship requires constant communication to thrive but in this case, your partner decided to give you the cold shoulder. 

As human beings, our minds go into automatic panic mode when we feel like our relationship is under threat. Thinking about another woman's chances, hidden affairs, and sudden loss of emotion can be terrifying. For this reason, I've put together some of the possible explanations of why your partner might be ac. It may have nothing to do with another brunette and more with work or his excessive moods towards you.

15 Reasons Why He Is Ignoring Me

1. He might be shy

Everyone is susceptible to shyness; we all experience it from one time or the other. Contrary to popular beliefs, many men are timid when it comes to women, especially those they're interested in. I love it when my guy has a little shyness around me; it's part of the reasons I fell for him anyway. In this case, your guy can be very vulnerable, allowing you to see the soft side of him he hides from his friends and family.

When a guy ignores you, especially when he has emotions for you, it could be because he’s an introvert, and doesn’t know how to act around you. He’s probably thinking about how to talk to you, what to say to make you laugh and some possible fun-date ideas. In such instances, the women might have to break the ice and make the first move, but encourage the guy in later days to break through his shyness.

2. He might be embarrassed

The feeling of embarrassment can come from different scenarios in a person’s life. One other reason why a guy could possibly ignore you if you've done nothing wrong to him is that he’s embarrassed. When guys are unsure, they find difficulty being vocal about it. While women will let their friends in on what’s going on, guys choose to keep their issues to themselves and find solutions on their own. 

Imagine one guy going to another guy for tips on how to woo a lady? It sounds absurd, right? That's how men think too. He might have never been in a loving relationship before, or he's never gone past the first base with a woman. His sudden attraction to you came out of the blue, and suddenly, he's wondering how he can get intimate with you without any experience. In such instances, try talking to your guy and assure him of your love and feelings for him.

3. He feels he doesn't deserve you

I dated a guy years ago who had this feeling, let's call him, Dave. Dave and I met at a friend's party, and we hit it off immediately. We became very good friends and decided after six months to go into an exclusive bond. The connection was blissful, to say the least, from dates to snuggles and holding hands in parks, we knew where we were headed, and our love exuded towards our friends and family.

Fast forward to when Dave visited my family home, after his visit, everything changed. Dave suddenly ignored me every time we were together, hardly continuing the conversation. He started ignoring my texts and calls altogether, and whenever we met, he was less the guy I knew that night we met. 

After days of trying to communicate with him, Dave finally confessed why he is ignoring me; he felt a little intimidated by my family. He thought I came from a privileged home, and as such, he couldn't match up to what I was used to. Dave didn't feel good enough for me, and he honestly thought I was going to be better off with somebody who was in such a circle.

4. He might be in love with you

Yes, your man can ignore you because he's madly in love with you! As I said, this is only one of the varying explanations of why a guy would ignore you. Some men get taken aback by their feelings, the moment they realize they're in love with you. If he's been in a bad bond, he might ignore you because he believes it will be a safer bet for him.

Falling in love takes a toll on everyone, man or woman. Like women, men also can't believe that they're experiencing this feeling. One second he was a carefree guy living freely with no itch for commitments, and suddenly, you appeared, and all he can think about is being exclusive with you. That's a lot to swallow, and enough reason for somebody to stay away.

5. You might have said something

Your man might be snubbing you because of a comment you made to him. Words and tonation are very tricky in communication skills. You can say something in different tones and evoke different reactions and emotions. It could've happened in a casual conversation or an argument. You might have said something to the guy, which he felt upset about. Instead of letting you know, he's decided to ignore you instead, hoping you'll realize.  

If you think this might be the motive for your man's silent treatment, you can consider thinking back to your conversations to find anything you might've said, which could've caused him to move away. Instead of thinking of him as childish and proud, think about how to communicate with him about the issue, and ask him for a chance to explain. If he still takes offense and decides to ignore you in revenge, you're probably better off without him.

6. He's having a bad day

Blaming yourself first for how your man feels and acts isn't the best thing; there's always a high chance you're wrong. For this purpose, we focus on why he isn't acting as he usually does, and if the reason isn't you; it could be more about his day. Your partner may want to be alone for a while, we all have these days where we simply wish to be alone to sieve through our thoughts and feelings.

His bad day could be from work, a word someone said on his way home, or a decision he's been dwelling on for a while. No matter the motive for his bad day, he might not want to bother you with the details since it might affect you even more than it has him. In this instance, the only good thing you can do is sit still and wait for him to come around.

7. You might've upset him

He might feel he’s doing the right thing by overlooking you if you've done something to upset him. This is different from saying anything to hurt him, as we’ve mentioned earlier. Here, we're dwelling on actions that can set a guy off. 

The choice to ignore you isn't the best approach to solving whatever issue might be in existence, but that's probably the only reaction he knows best. Men who do this often don't see the point giving you a chance to explain; thus, they stand their ground and continue to ignore you until you show some form of remorse.

You might've upset him

If you know what has been done and it is indeed your fault, an apology is needed to help save your bond. You might have taken it as a joke, and as such, didn't know how much it affected him. Be patient with him and allow him to come around when he's ready, but make sure to know how sorry you are and how much you miss him.

8. His mind might be mixed up

Mixed up? You might ask, don’t worry, I'll explain this point with as much care as I can. When your boyfriend ignores you or behaves as though you don't exist, it might be because his emotions and thoughts are all over the place. This usually happens early on during the honeymoon phase, where your emotions are flying all over the place.

During this time, reality tends to hit men, and they suddenly realize they're in an exclusive relationship with another person. Now, they've made a huge commitment to be half of a loving partnership, and have agreed to do that for a very long time. The reality can cause their emotions to overwhelm them such that they need space to breathe, space away from the person they love. They simply need to come to terms with their decision and be sure that it was the right one.

9. It might be because of his family

You may have seen this in telenovelas, but never in real life. The truth is that it happens, even in the 21st century; families have a say in the partners their children choose. There are still some families that react negatively to their son’s choice of a partner, even when the guy is dating you and not them. This reaction always is very surprising, especially with the evolution of relationships and dating.

Understandably, families always want the best for their offspring, but when they interfere with their choice of a partner, it shows how low their level of trust in the man is. Some families go as far as threatening their sons with disownment if they go ahead with the forbidden relations. If this is your man’s family, be ready for any outcome; for some, family comes first no matter what. 

10. His friends don't like you

Besides family, some friends also have a considerable say in the affairs of some men. Before your man met you, his friends were the only ones he had. You might've even seen him with them the very first night you met. Guys do everything with their friends, from playing sports together, working, and spending weekends together. 

They respect their views a lot since they trust them completely. If for some reason, they agree with everything in his life apart from you, chances are he might decide to ignore you. More so, there are many reasons why his friends may not like you, maybe since you started dating, they've lost a member at their weekly game nights, or perhaps he doesn't have coffee with them in the mornings since he takes you to work. 

Their routine is being threatened, and they'll want to make you aware of how they feel. Be strong in such situations, both for you and him, make his friends know you're aware of what they're doing and assure your guy you can put up with them while you remain together. He'll appreciate this and will willingly make some alterations.

11. He thinks you're opposites 

My partner is an open-minded individual who speaks his mind all the time, he's adventurous, takes decisions on the spur of the moment, and loves to keep conversations with new people. I, on the other hand, am quieter, always thinking to myself until I’m pushed to speak out. I love structure in my life, and love to plan before I take any risks or get adventurous. At parties, I’m the girl who's in the shadows hoping no new person tries talking to me.

Being with such a person can be tough at the initial stages, where not a single person understands the other. It might get so tough that your partner will start drawing back, afraid they are making the wrong choice by being with you. If it happens to be your guy pulling back, it's in your best interest to let him know that you chose him because you love him, and it doesn't matter how different you might be. 

Both of you work on some compromises that will allow you to meet halfway with your personalities. I love talking to new people, occasionally, and my partner now loves having set up plans since they give him time for so many other things. If he ignores me, I bring him back with my words, no matter how different you might be, the dating relationship will work if you work towards it.

12. He might be interested in your friends

It’s possible your boyfriend has started developing feelings towards one of your friends and doesn’t know how to break it to you. Situations like this could be awkward, especially if 3 of you spend time together. Ignoring you might give him time to sort his feelings out and think about the next step to take.  You might also have a friend who wants some things you've got, like your boyfriend. 

The jealousy might be so extreme that she'll try to get your guy's mind away from you in subtle moves you may not realize this at first - until it's too late. In such a case, you usually never find out why your boyfriend is ignoring you until it's too late, and the bond breaks off. She might've told him information that wasn't true about you, to keep him away from you as is necessary.

13. He might have a secret

Your guy might be ignoring you because he's got a couple of his own hidden secrets and you're too close to discovering them. These secrets might be from his past life, old relationships, or life in general. When you get into a new connexion, you like to believe that all old things are now history, and as such, you try to focus only on making the new person happy

What happens when your past tries to bite you in the behind? You freak out and search for an exit. In some cases, men think the best exit is to ignore their partners, in their minds, this might prevent the topic from coming up and will save them the stress of having to unearth things they’ll rather keep buried in the past. 

14. It could be your dress sense or drinking prowess

You just started dating, or you're not even exclusive to each other yet. You've gone for a date night out at the club or bar, and you had a bit too much to drink. You can't recall what happened, but he remembers everything. He recalls you dancing on tables, the puking, and the curses you rained on the poor innocent waiter before leaving. All these have been stored at the back of his mind, and the only thing he wants to do is disappear and never see you again. 

It could be your dress sense or drinking prowess

Whenever such happens, you're going to have to do a lot of explaining while making promises the incident won’t repeat itself, to get your guy back on your side. The other case is the dress sense, men love to look and feel good, so when their partner doesn't complement their dress sense as expected, they might be put off, and find a way to avoid them altogether. When a guy starts avoiding you because he expects you to dress a certain way that suits him, maybe try seeing things from his point of view

15. He might be seeing someone else

The final reason any guy you're involved with might ignore you is something we all dread; he's seeing someone else. Having an affair with another woman can be a tough pill to swallow, but it is a possibility. If you find those steamy text messages which confirm he's cheating, it is best to let go of the relationship altogether; he doesn't deserve you.  

By ignoring you, he's done you a huge favor and given you more than enough time to say goodbye and save yourself a significant heartbreak, you deserve better. So don't beat yourself up about his actions, hold your head high and walk away; there's someone else out there for you.

FAQs

What to do if he ignores you?

Your boyfriend can be ignoring you for different reasons, if you still really want to get his attention and keep his mind on you for the longest time, call out his behavior as calmly as possible, making him aware that you've realized how much he ignores you. This will bring up a conversation where you can find out the explanations for his actions and find any solutions.

What does it mean when a guy ignores you?

When a guy ignores you intentionally, it could be because of several reasons. If you're in a relationship, he might ignore you because he's scared about how fast you're moving. It could be he's trying to get your attention in a subtle way, playing hard to get to keep you interested.

Why is my boyfriend ignoring me all of a sudden?

You may find your boyfriend's behavior a bit surprising, but it might be an incident that happened between both of you a while back. If you've ignored him before, maybe after an argument, chances are this is his form of revenge. If you’re both in this argument, he might be ignoring you, hoping that the situation will die down in time. 

What does it mean when a guy ignores you after a hookup?

You've hooked up with an exceptional person and he ghosts you, without a valid reason. Such an incidence leaves your instincts to run wild; listen to them, because chances are they're right. Wait to see if he contacts you if he's still avoiding communicating with you; he probably doesn't want to have anything to do with you.

How do you make him feel guilty for ignoring you?

You can guilt-trip your guy for ignoring you; it's acceptable as his exclusive partner. Tell him how much his behavior has affected you, and be clear about every detail. Ask him to imagine the tables turned, and you ignored him the way he’s ignoring you. This provides a clear picture for him to work with and, in turn, makes him feel guilty for his actions.

In A Nutshell

Your guy ignoring you can be painful and can evoke a lot of emotions you never expect. Keep in mind that he might be ignorant about his actions and isn't intentionally doing that. Be sure to communicate how you feel to him, and listen to his reasons. The key to a great love life lies in this, and as such, you must do this before jumping to conclusions, which can cause unnecessary stress. 

I trust you enjoyed this list, feel free to comment below, and share this with a friend or two that need it. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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