Why Does My Husband Want Me To Sleep With Another Man? (12 Reasons)

by April Maccario

A rare but somewhat prominent case is a wife asking, “Why does my husband want me to sleep with another man.” It’s not the most popular case we hear about, but at least one woman out of a thousand has experienced this. If your husband has recently asked you to engage in sexual relations with other men, you’re probably very spooked and curious about the idea.

Nevertheless, this is an occurrence that seems to take place in a few marriages. In line with a man having the desire to see his wife make love to other men, there are some psychological notions that suggest why he would indeed have this desire. According to research, this action is referred to as wife-sharing, otherwise known as cuckolding

Though it’s seemingly more bizarre to see a wife asking her husband to engage in this act, or in the act of husband-sharing, this surprisingly also occurs. In spite of this, this article is centered on shedding light on all the possible causes of these desires in a relationship, answering the questions a wife may be asking herself about her husband.

Why Your Husband Wants You to Sleep With Another Man

1. He derives pleasure from voyeurism

Voyeurism can be described as a sexual practice where someone receives satisfaction from simply watching others have intercourse. This is synonymous to the satisfaction people get from watching porn, and during the process of time, evolves into something more. If your husband is asking you to have sexual relations with a different guy, it’s an indication that he derives pleasure from voyeurism

Even so, it has evolved to a stage where he wants to witness a live experience and not just watch from behind a screen. He strongly feels this will improve his love-making prowess and the overall experience he will have in bed with you. He may not necessarily be involved in watching porn, because the desire might be innate, and is only manifesting openly now. This is also independent of how your husband views you as his wife. 

More so, he may be deeply attracted to you as a woman, but based on his voyeuristic pleasures, he simply wants to satisfy his desires by watching you in bed with someone else. According to research, this is one of the common reasons why any man would want to engage in wife-sharing, despite being immensely attracted to his wife.

2. He has a zest to display his manly side

Psychological studies also suggest that when a man encourages the idea of his wife with a different man, he simply wants to display his manly nature. Likely, this would help to enhance the overall experience and spice up the sex life he has with his wife. More so, being able to experience his wife with another man teaches him things he wouldn’t normally see from the first-person perspective.

Another notion indicates that his zest to display manliness helps to resolve certain struggles the couple may be having. Perhaps, the man is struggling with delayed ejaculation – watching his wife having sex with different men could boost his libido, stamina, and help him ejaculate faster.

Popular opinion also indicates that the act of watching your wife have sex with another person arouses a man. It’s more or less like a sexual trigger that pushes the man to amplify his own sexual capacity and outperform what he is seeing. Though the woman is his, he feels the need to set up a competitive guide to perform better.

3. The adventure of doing something forbidden

The act of voyeurism itself is referred to as an aberrant practice, this is because every man is protective of what he calls his own, most especially his wife. Thus, the idea of wife-sharing expressly seems like a taboo, being subjectively different from the normal sexual practices people engage in. Nevertheless, this could be a reason for the sudden desires of your man.

Being on the wild side, he may simply be desirous of doing something considered as a taboo, simply for the thrill of it. Since most people tend to have sexual adventures with their spouses, a man can also regard the act of wife-sharing as an exhilarating adventure.

An explanation as to why men would want to exhibit any form of deviant behavior towards love-making inclines to sociological, biological, and psychological behaviors. In particular, the individualistic personality of a man becomes a driving force as to why he would want to engage in something entirely different from the accepted norms, such as wife-sharing.

4. He has bisexual fantasies

More often than none, some men indeed have bisexual desires or fantasies. They feel the urge to get intimate with a man or engage in a predominant relationship with a man. Nevertheless, as a husband, he might not want to come clean about this to his partner. The thought of being bisexual may spur up several insecurities, which would make him consider taking other alternatives.

Another way to fulfill his desires includes wife-sharing, apart from watching other men have intimate relations with his wife or girl friend, he may also have the secret urge to partake in the action – closely related to his bisexual desire. In spite of this, the closest experience to satisfying the urge at the moment is to outright watch it happen.

Over a space of time, women who have encountered such behaviors from men, have confessed that the desire grew more and more each time, inclining to a threesome. This only reveals the innate root of some of the sexual urges a man can have, in line with asking you to share your bed with other men.

5. He feels incompetent

Still, on the subject of a husband wanting his wife to have sex with another man, there’s a likelihood there’s a shadow of incompetency. He may feel he’s incapable of satisfying his wife the way he should; and needs someone else to take his place. This thought, however, can be a one-sided ideology the man developed based on his insecurities.

As a matter of fact, if you’re the wife in such a situation, you may not be entirely knowledgeable about the deficiencies of your husband. There’s a probability that you’re more than sufficient with the sex you’re having with your husband. 

Nevertheless, certain unprecedented occurrences like health conditions or the age of the man can interfere with his capacity to perform and change his mindset. Filled with emotions, he can take this decision to cater to your needs as a woman, and as his wife.

Though it may seem abnormal and aberrant, in his eyes, he’s simply doing what would make you happy and satisfied as a woman. In most cases, watching the action may arouse him, and further cause him to make efforts to be better, despite his feelings of incompetence.

6. For masochistic pleasure

Masochism can be defined as a form of sexual gratification or pleasure a partner derives from physical or psychological punishment during sex. To deliberate why a husband would want to share his wife with another man, we can predominantly say that men want to fulfill their innate masochistic desires.

Though he may not want to be physically punished during sex, the act of watching his wife have sex with another man tends to play a psychological trick on him. In reality, a man is possessive about his wife, and normal psychological behavior is not to share her with another man. Nevertheless, Masochism dictates that he feels a psychological pain as a result of him losing something as precious as his wife to someone else. 

For masochistic pleasure

In other cases, simply watching his wife being dominant during sex, whether with him or someone else, gives him a certain degree of sexual pleasure. This is a probable cause as to why he would want to engage in wife-sharing.

7. As a means of blackmail

Engaging in the act of wife-sharing can become a normal scenario for someone that outright enjoys it. It could even go as far as him persuading his wife to contact men of his choice, simply to satisfy his desires. This can escalate to involving exceedingly more than one couple until it is completely normal in their eyes.

Despite this, one probable reason why he would be moved to share his wife with a person he knows could be because he wants to use it as a form of blackmail in the future. Though this is not true in all cases, it’s a possible motivator to the engagement of such an act.

He may record these activities and use it to blackmail either his wife or any other couple involved – since the act in itself is considered aberrant and unacceptable by society. Even so, he can use his clips to extort cash from the parties involved, if he so desires. This is a plausible reason for engaging in wife-sharing and why some men in most parts of the world are eager to engage in it.

8. To display his misogyny

Sadly, in many parts of the world, it’s a normal occurrence for men to naturally see their women as lesser creatures. Some men immensely believe they have to dominate the relationship and belittle the women. This is synonymous to a man having the desire to show his manliness, in such a case, there’s a high chance he also wants to display his misogyny – hatred for women.

If you’re wondering why your husband would seemingly want you to have sex with another person, then you should consider his overall behavior towards you. Does he treat you like his equal? Or does his exhibit dominant authority over you? If he generally likes to control you, then this may be one way to prove that he decides what you can and cannot do.

To humiliate or belittle you as his wife, he may persuade or command you to engage in the act of wife sharing. Some men may also try to use this activity as a means of blackmail to get women to do other things for them, also relating to sex.

9. To satisfy his desire of helplessness

According to research, the act of cuckolding is seemingly becoming popular, and multiple surveys have been carried out. Not only is it common in marriages, but also in normal relationships, where men feel the urge to watch their significant other, or girlfriend, have sex with another person, simply to satisfy some freaky desires

One of these includes sponsoring a feeling of helplessness, according to several surveys, watching your wife have sex with someone else, spurs up a feeling of helplessness, especially for the men involved. This is somewhat related to the feeling men get when they can’t have a girl they desire. Thus, watching her have sex with someone else sponsors this helpless

feeling and increases his urge to have her and keep her.

Psychological notions indicate that this is a natural turn-on for men, inclining to the fact that he will begin to feel his wife is wanted and desired by other people. In a nutshell, he feels manlier because he’s the one that gets to keep her.

10. To kill boredom

Surveys from multiple sources have indicated that men have engaged in the act of cuckolding simply to elude boredom in the relationship. In order to make sex more adventurous, adding another man ensures the fire and passion never dies down. It creates a desire and zest for more sex, thereby creating a sense of relevance to all sexual matters in the relationship.

In some cases, the wife may seemingly enjoy the act of wife-sharing as a way to display her own desire for female independence as the case may be. Keeping her options open is one way to refrain from absolutely depending on her husband for sex and satisfaction.

Men have also confessed that in relation to killing boredom, the act of sharing their spouses with

someone else helps to make them more attractive and desirable in their eyes; thereby increasing her overall value.

11. To sponsor the theory of sperm competition

There is an indication that several prehistoric stories point to the fact that wife-sharing or cuckolding was practiced in ancient times. This is inclined with the fact that people lived in large groups and were most times more intimate than stories acknowledged or reported.

Relating this theory to modern times, many have claimed that the desire to engage in cuckolding is sponsored by what our ancestors practiced. It’s also one of the reasons why men are never satisfied sexually and would delve into cheating rather than remaining committed as a husband. 

Thus, the theory of sperm competition was formed, since men naturally chase after ladies to swoon them and potentially have sex with them – majorly to prove their male dominance, the same occurs with wife-sharing. Being the husband, the act of watching his significant other with someone else, recalls this very theory and portrays a competition of who gets the last stand.

12. He’s cheating

The subject of cheating may not be true in all cases but is definitely one to consider when you’re trying to understand why exactly your husband would ask you to have sex with someone else. There’s a fair chance that your husband indeed has a lady he’s having sex with, and he wants to feel better about his actions.

More so, he may be doing it to settle the score, so that when you eventually find out, you won’t be as outraged as you would on normal conditions. Guilt is one thing that can push men into doing deviant things. Thus, in order to maintain his stance or position in the home, he persuades you to engage in the act of cuckolding, which is something similar to what he’s doing, in order to avoid being blamed for his actions.


What do you say to a cheating husband?

Nobody has to deal with a cheating husband, being in such a situation, let him know that you’re aware he’s having sex with someone else, and you do not condone his behaviors. Men would generally want to lie, be evasive, or be controlling, nonetheless, you have to stand your ground.

What should I do to a cheating husband?

There’s a high chance that a cheating husband would continue in his ways. Apart from confronting him, you need to actively show your husband that you’re not pleased with his actions. If this demands walking away, then you should, this will effectively get your message across.

How do I move on from a cheating husband?

Moving on from a cheating husband demands an understanding that you’re being cheated on, and deserve much more. Engaging in acts of infidelity shows the type of person your husband is and doesn’t make you less of a person. Also, try finding someone else that would love and remain faithful to you, this can help you get over the pain of a cheating husband.

How do you deal with a cheating husband that lies?

When caught in the act, men generally lie and evade the obvious fact that they are unfaithful. However, dealing with a cheating husband that lies connotes trying to outsmart him. Simply make him realize that you know he’s lying while also being unfaithful. Staying in that toxic environment may not help you, if he refuses to change, you have the right to leave. 

How do you tell someone they’re being cheated on?

Finding out someone is being cheated on can easily put you on the edge and raise uncertainties about what to do with the truth. Nevertheless, it’s better to open up about your findings even though the outcome could be positive or negative.

All In All...

Was this article insightful? If you’re unsure why your husband wants you to have sex with someone else, apart from the possible reasons listed above, you can directly ask your husband for his reasons. Kindly leave a comment below and share this article with your friends.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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