11 Answers For The Question: Why Do Men Lie And What They Lie About?

by April Maccario

My relationship started out rocky. We had a tough beginning - and I caught myself thinking often: “Why does he tell lies to me?” 

I usually knew when he was telling me something that wasn’t true, and yet he insisted on telling me these dishonest things. Women are intuitive usually about being lied to - and dishonesty always comes back around somehow. 

I am happy to report that not all men are liars, and sometimes when a man doesn’t tell the truth in the beginning of a relationship, it was just his way of being guarded - and avoid committing to a relationship he wasn’t sure yet if he wanted. Luckily that’s the main reason for it at first. 

However, if you and your partner have been in a relationship for a long time, and lying suddenly becomes an issue when it wasn’t before, then there are other things at play. 

Why Do Men Lie?

People don’t do things for no reason. It doesn’t matter if it’s a woman or a man, everyone has a reason for doing things the way they do them. And not every reason for telling a lie is malevolent, believe it or not. 

Can you honestly say that you have never fibbed or told a white lie to protect someone’s feelings, or told one tiny little lie to avoid a confrontation? 

Men are not the only ones that lie, and it’s really about whether or not a person can figure out how to stop lying. Lying comes with a sense of distrust or unease, and people who tell fibs to avoid these things in relationships may not have good coping strategies or the arrangement may even be toxic. 

1. They feel like they have to lie

Let's admit it: women are way harder to please than men are. And we’re more sensitive. When we ask if we look good or if they like our outfit we expect men to say yes. And sometimes the truth is they just don’t think so. But if they tell you the truth your feelings may get hurt- and then there’s a confrontation. Sometimes men feel like they have to lie about the little things to keep us women happy. 

Little white lies to make sure their woman stays happy is harmless, and there is generally no ill intentions with these kinds of little fibs.

2. They are hiding something

they are hiding something

Then you have the kind of lies that destroy trust and relationships. Your man may lie to you about where he is, or who he’s with, or what he’s doing. Maybe his intentions are not bad, maybe he’s planning a surprise. Or maybe he’s seeing other women. 

The point is, if there is something to hide, then he’s going to lie to you more often. If he’s hiding something then there is a serious breach of trust and communication, and it could potentially destroy their relationships. 

3. They are afraid of your reaction to the truth

Sometimes people have a first instinct to be nervous about their partner’s reaction to the truth. They may have made a mistake, and be afraid of confrontation. If someone is hesitant about telling the truth because they’re afraid it could hurt the relationship or start an argument, it’s easy to convince yourself that telling a lie would be easier and better. 

4. They didn't lie - you just didn’t listen

Sometimes women have a way of hearing what they want to hear- and men just may not bother to correct her. Sometimes we misinterpret things. We are always thinking and planning ahead, and stressing about the things we need or want. 

Men are not so complex. Generally, they say what they mean in straightforward short sentences. They may have told you one thing- but you took it as another because you heard what you wanted to hear. This is a hard one for women to accept because as the Nurturing half of the relationship we like to think we listen and hear everything we need to hear. 

5. To protect someone else's feelings

Oftentimes, men may make the mistake in thinking that a lie to protect someone’s feelings is a better approach. These lies aren’t generally a big deal, but they could be major lies as well. However, it’s often overlooked that this destroys the aspect of trust and communication in a relationship. 

When a man lies to protect your feelings, it’s because he cares and possibly feels bad about whatever it is that he’s telling the lie about. However, this is an obstacle that couples need to overcome. Both partners need to be open and receptive to each other’s words and feelings. And work on a pattern of complete honest communication without making each other feel that lying would be a better resort to avoid conflict

6. They can’t help it

And then you have some people that just can’t help it when they lie. This could be a form of behavioral issues or a result of addiction, or just maybe they are a product of how they are raised. There are some people that just can’t help but tell a lie, big or small. 

5 Common Things Men Lie About

There are some things that men usually exaggerate or lie about - especially when they first meet someone they like. Almost every man has something he is going to lie about. 

7. Their past

their past

A lot of men when first starting a relationship will lie about their past- or omit important details about it. Criminal records, how many girlfriends or relationships they had, traumas they have suffered. Men are not run on emotions like women. They don’t look at a woman and think: “I want to get to know them. And tell them all of my dark secrets.” 

Generally, the instinctive man sees a woman they want and go for it- but they keep them away from personal information as much as possible until they are comfortable sharing that information. They will resort to lies or omissions to keep their sacred information private until they are ready to take that emotional step. 

8. Their jobs

This one is pretty common. Guys will do a lot of things to impress a woman, including fib about what he does or how much he makes. 

9. Their ability in bed

Every woman has heard men brag about the size of their manhood, or how he ‘loves to eat out.’ Many times they will amp up their ability, resulting to many very disappointed females in the world. 

10. Past relationships

Men will often times exaggerate how many women they have been with, or his past relationships. Especially relationships that hurt him, he will avoid talking about.. 

11. Commitment level

commitment level

Many times, a man will like about how into the relationship he is. If he is wanting to ‘get in your pants’ so to speak, he will exaggerate just how into his commitment is. Men who are nervous about commitment will shy away from affirmative statements of his ‘being with’ you.

FAQs

What does it mean when he lies to you?

When a man lies to a woman in or around the start of a relationship it generally means that they are trying to impress you, are afraid of losing you, or they genuinely have something to hide. Until a man decides that he wants a real partner in you, they generally do their best to keep the woman they are pursuing away from personal facts about themselves.

In relationships, you can usually determine why your author lied to you by what kind of lies he has been telling you.

How do you tell if a man is lying about loving you?

It’s not hard to tell if someone is in love with you or not. The truth of the matter is that men who are in love will be attentive to your needs, want to show you off, and will make you feel loved. 

Is it bad if your boyfriend lies to you?

It really depends on the lie. If he fibbed to you a little bit so he could do something like plan a surprise party, then that is acceptable. But other than the few exceptions, honesty and communication is the only way a relationship is going to be able to survive. One major lie can devastate trust and cause tension in your bond with your partner. So if you are catching your partner in major lies, then there is something bigger going on, and you might want to get to the bottom of it. 

Why does my BF keep lying to me?

No one knows why someone is lying to the people they love, except the people who are lying. If you catch them lying to you, however, the type of lie is important to pay attention to. One indication that they may be cheating is if you figure out they are lying about their location. Maybe your partner told a fib about what he spent money on so that he could surprise you with a gift. It really depends on the relationship and the individual people. 

How do you know when a man lies to you?

How to tell if someone is lying to you is pretty easy once you know what to look for. When a person lies, psychologically their brain is rejecting the lie that is coming out of their mouth. That people have ‘tells’ when they are saying something other than the truth. 

Have You Ever Lied To Your Partner? 

If you have, or if you have ever caught your man fibbing telling a lie to you, tells us your stories in the comments! And don’t forget to share this article with your friends! Thanks for reading everyone!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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