When To Let Go Of A Relationship (15 Ways To Know)

by April Maccario

Romantic feelings are so powerful that they can convince a person to remain in a relationship that is unhealthy. The way we feel about a person can cloud our sense of judgment and reasoning even in the face of damning proof that the relationship is no longer viable. Whether you believe it or not, love is never enough to sustain a relationship for long. 

The challenges your relationship is facing at this time is merely a pointer to the fact that you may have to walk away. 

Don’t get me wrong, some relationships can be saved, but some are beyond salvation. Coming to terms with the fact that your relationship is on the brink of collapse is one of the most difficult truths to accept. 

No matter what anybody tells you, letting go of a person you genuinely love can be very hard considering how much you invested in the relationship. So how do you know when to leave a relationship? How can you read the signs it’s over and move forward

There is no perfect time to find out than now. In fact, the sooner you realize it’s time to let go and move on, the better for you. 

15 Times That Tell You It’s Time To Let Go

1. You don’t love him anymore 

You don’t love him anymore

There is no faking it when it comes down to loving someone. Just like everything else in this world, love doesn’t last forever except it is nurtured and sustained. Unpleasant circumstances in the relationship can cause your feelings for your partner to change with time. The signs it’s no longer working out will reveal themselves with time.

Once you notice that your love for him is gradually turning to hatred, it’s time you let go of the relationship. It’s one thing to care for someone and another thing for the person to return the affection. If you’re sure your man doesn’t love you anymore, the best thing you can do is to walk away. 

2. You are blamed when things go wrong

Offenses and misunderstandings are bound to happen in relationships but you shouldn’t always take the blame for them each time they happen. The two of you should be able to share the blame equally and take responsibility for your individual actions. 

In fact, when you take a critical look at the origin of the problem, you may find out that both of you played a role in creating it. So why are you the only one taking the blame

You probably feel like the partner who can never get it right by now, and that kind of thinking messes with your self-confidence. 

You will know it’s time to let go when you’re tired of being made to feel like the partner who isn’t smart or useful. Any man who believes that you are the cause of his misfortunes or the problems in the relationship is not worthy to be called your man. 

3. He has no regard for you

Love and respect are key components of a healthy relationship. A way to know that you are in an unhealthy relationship is when your partner disrespects you at the slightest turn. He doesn’t even mind doing so in the presence of other people.

You are entitled to some degree of respect and regard from your man. It’s not normal for him to call you names or disrespect you because he feels like it. If you find yourself in this kind of relationship with no sign of change, please do not hesitate to walk away. You should feel good about yourself, and if you’re not in a relationship that’s facilitating that, it’s time to walk away.

4. When the relationship becomes abusive

Nothing good can ever come out of being in an abusive relationship. No amount of love should make you tolerate any form of violence or abuse from your partner. Unhappy relationships are notorious for turning violent and abusive. The man uses women as a medium to vent his anger and frustration. 

So many people have lost so much, emotionally and physically, by choosing to remain with abusive partners. You may be worried about what people will think, but you have to come first. Discard the fear of what people will say, letting it go will get you one step closer to freedom and self-happiness.  

5. When there’s no mutual trust

Once the trust in a relationship is broken, the relationship is as good as dead. It may feel like things are okay, but the tension and unreliability will soon make things uncomfortable. It’s natural for us women to be a little jealous and overprotective of our men. 

Sometimes, their secretive behaviors tend to fuel this insecurity of ours. Your man may even have a bad record of being unfaithful to ladies he had dated in the past. If you find that you can’t trust him fully or vice versa, letting go might just be your best option. 

6. He keeps betraying your trust

It’s okay to want to give your relationship another chance to work out but not at the expense of your own happiness. You shouldn’t have to go through hurt and pain over and over again because you are trying to hold what you share together. 

Your partner may have been unfaithful to you or physically abused you in the past and you forgave him. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if he repeatedly does it to you then it’s time to move forward with your life.  

7. You no longer find happiness with him

You no longer find happiness with him

What makes relationships fun is when you continuously derive happiness and pleasure from the person you are with. You must learn to place your happiness above all else including your partner. Your man should be able to make you happy and fulfilled. 

I have seen women fall into depression because of bad partners and the end wasn’t pleasant, to say the least. Some even went as far as developing chronic heart and mental diseases. Why not quit while you're ahead before it ends worse than it is already?

8. Too much space

When a relationship becomes largely unhappy and unpleasant, we look for ways to stay away. Nobody wants to come home to a nagging partner or someone who would make your life a living hell. Many times, people come up with various silly reasons not to come home. It’s either something came up at work or they have a family emergency. 

This is not in any way ideal or proper and goes to show how far apart you both have grown. If it’s a lingering problem with no solution in sight, please it’s about time to let this one go.

9. He doesn’t open up to you

The whole purpose of being in a relationship is defeated if he can’t trust you enough to open up to you about his past or his future plans. It’s either he doesn’t see a future with you, or he is ashamed of his negative pasts. If you find yourself in this category, it’s imperative you find out which of the instances best suits your situation. 

If you’re able to prove that he doesn’t see a future with you, why continue to waste your time and energy remaining by his side. 

10. You no longer have shared values

Relationships thrive when both partners have shared or similar values. They give you something to hope on and look forward to. In fact, having similar values may have been what attracted both of you together.

However, if there is anything I have learned about life is that change is dynamic and is bound to take place. It’s possible that along the way, one of you deviated to another path. This does not in any way rule out the fact that you love him but just as I said, life happens. 

11. There’s no hope left of salvaging it

When all efforts to resuscitate it has proven futile and abortive, there is basically nothing else you can do to salvage the already sinking relationship. The ideal thing is to abandon ship and move on.

You may likely not know this but your partner is only waiting for you to make the first move out of respect for you. You’re probably not the only one who has given up hope on the love you share. I’d advise you to sit down with him and part ways on a good note for future purposes.  

12. He doesn’t satisfy you sexually

Some people may not see this as a basis for separating from your long-term partner. Sex is instituted by nature for intimacy and procreation. Whether you believe this or not, if your man is not getting it from you, he is either getting it from another lady or he doesn’t find you attractive enough. 

He may even try letting go of her to fix things with you, but that’s not the major issue. The reason is simple- you are not his type, so even if he swears he let go of her and will never see her again, it might not fix much.

What you may not know is that you are slowly killing your sex drive. Before it worsens any further, let go and find someone who will be willing to see that your sexual needs are met.  

13. You’re in love with another person

Bonds are very quick to form in big offices and workplaces. Falling in love with a coworker only shows that you are human and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Most times, what causes this is when another guy pays more attention to you than your partner. 

Whatever the case may be, for your partner’s sake and yours, just let go of him and see how you can work things out with this new guy. At least, you don’t get to be termed a shady person, people may talk, but that shouldn’t be your business.  

14. Your partner scares you

It’s not normal to be scared of your partner and in fact, you should never be. However, if you find yourself scared of your man, then it’s an indication that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. You shouldn’t be scared of talking or spending time with your significant other irrespective of who he is. 

Any man who suppresses or scares you into silence is not the right man for you. You can try talking to him about how you feel and if nothing changes after that, then you may need to take a walk. 

15. Your loved ones don’t support your relationship

Your loved ones don’t support your relationship

Remember I mentioned that love has a way of clouding our sense of reasoning and judgment?. Well, your trusted friends and family members are in a better position to give you sound and objective advice. 

If the majority of them don’t support it, then you may have to take a step back and reconsider the whole arrangement. 

It’s easier for them to see the red flags from where they stand. This makes listening to their opinions good for you. On no account should you lie to them because once you do, you’re dangerously going down a slippery slope. Not listening to them may probably imply that they are right.  

FAQs

How do you know when it’s time to let go of someone you love?

No one can really determine the perfect time to let go of your feelings for someone else. However, you don’t need anybody to tell you to let go of someone who disrespects, abuses, and does not value you. Similarly, it shouldn’t be hard leaving a man who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings or see a future with you. 

How do you know when a relationship is really over?

The beginning of the end of a relationship usually starts with mini fights and arguments. Everything he does pisses you off and you can’t seem to have any of it. It then escalates to the both of you abstaining from sexual relations with each other. Once the communication and sexual life of a relationship dies, then it’s really over. 

How do you let go of someone you love?

Cut all ties and all forms of contact with the person. Try not to fantasize about him as it can bring back memories. If you were hurt in the process, try to forgive him and move on. Very importantly, give yourself ample time and space to grieve and heal up properly.

How do you let go of a relationship when you still love them?

This is one of the hardest things to do but it’s possible. If you genuinely love them, you may never get over them throughout your lifetime. Whatever your reason may be for breaking things off with them, ensure it is justifiable. Resolve it amicably with them and find a peaceful way of ending it.  

How do you let someone go emotionally?

Create a physical and emotional distance between you and the person. You can achieve this by finding a hobby or something to counter the thoughts of them in your head. Engaging and drowning yourself in work can also help fill the void created by separating yourself from them. Very importantly, go easy on yourself and pay attention to your health.  

At The End Of The Day

If your mind is still not made up, I’d suggest you talk to a good therapist, but you must know that not all relationships are salvageable and yours may likely fall in this category. I’m so eager to hear from you, please leave a note for me in the dialog box. Don’t forget to share this post as well. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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