9 Things You Need To Do When Someone Treats You Badly In A Relationship

Last updated on June 13, 2022 by April Maccario

Is your boyfriend disrespecting your personal boundaries?

Is it hurting your feelings and your mental health? 

Are you looking for the best ways to address this situation, while keeping the relationship nice and peachy?

If so, I want to say congratulations for wanting to take action. It is never right to be passive in situations like this.

This guide features 9 things to do when someone treats you badly in a relationship. 

But, before we dive into these ideas, I want to recommend an online tool that could prove very useful for someone in your situation. 

This online communications tracker is able to connect with the personal devices of your boyfriend and reveal what he’s getting up to when you’re not around. 

Enter a few of his details into the tool’s algorithm, and you’ll be able to see who he’s calling and texting, what apps he’s using to do that, what online services he’s created accounts for...and a lot more. 

I know a lot of women using this tool to make sure their boyfriend remains faithful. It’s their way of keeping their paranoia at bay. As the tool is 100% discreet, there’s no risk of him finding out he’s being tracked. 

If you think this might be of use in your relationship, you can click here to find out more.

But, let’s now look at what you can do to stop yourself being mistreated in your relationship.

What To Do When He Treats You Badly?

1. Why Do I Let My Boyfriend Treat Me Badly?

Most girls ask, “why do people treat me badly?” but that’s not the question to be answered. Instead, it’s important to determine why you’re letting it happen

Low self-esteem is a common reason. Trying to see the good in everyone often results in excusing their faults, regardless of how bad they are too. There are a lot of different reasons that you might be letting this happen. Perhaps you have a skewed perception of what relationships should be like due to childhood trauma. This article explores several reasons that this might be happening. 

2. Work On Your Own Issues

work on your own issues

If you have low self-worth or don’t treat yourself with respect, you’re more likely to wind up in a relationship where you are treated badly. 

If you don’t respect yourself, it’s unlikely that other people will either. Other people’s actions are not your fault, but it’s important that you don’t set a precedence of being in a relationship that makes you feel like crap. 

Sometimes, outside help can help you see issues that you do not realize are present, both in yourself and in how you act in relationships. 

For example, someone may have noticed that you make excuses for his bad behaviors. Or a therapist might notice a pattern in partners that is a bit alarming. When a person is looking at the situation from outside the box, they can shed light on problems that you might not have noticed yourself. 

3. Set Your Own Boundaries

Before talking with your partner, it’s important to set your own boundaries of how you feel that you should be treated. What does a relationship full of love look like in your mind? 

It’s important to determine why you might have issues setting boundaries, and that you set healthy boundaries in your relationship. This article goes into great detail about both and will help you get to where you need to be. 

4. Don’t Self-Blame

While it is true that a person that does not respect themselves often will not receive respect in a relationship, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay, or that it is your fault. You are responsible for your own issues and actions, just like your partner is responsible for theirs. 

If he disrespects you, that is on him. No one deserves to be in relationships full of pain and bad behaviors. Recognize that, regardless of what anyone says, including your husband, it’s not your fault. Common signs of self-blame include: 

  • Feeling inadequate
  • Hopelessness
  • Depression or depressed mood
  • Shame
  • Guilt for other people’s behavior

Victims of abuse or neglect, especially childhood abuse and neglect, are at a significantly higher risk of developing self-blame than other people. 

5. Communicate Your Feelings

communicate your feelings

It’s important to communicate your feelings with your partner. If you werepassive in the past or feel uncomfortable with this because it’s a new thing for you, practice with friends and family first. This can give you more confidence when you have the actual conversation. 

If communication is not your strong suit, this could lead to a lack of communication in the relationship, which can lead to poor treatment. Essentially, he’s being a jerk because you’re allowing it. It doesn’t mean go on a power trip and scream at him though. Instead, effectively communicate your wants and needs. Interpersonal communication skills will help you out with this step. 

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.

It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.

Take this free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Tell him what he is doing that bothers you, and make sure that your partner knows how it makes you feel. After that,your partner will need to work on his actions to help the relationship improve. 

6. Stick To Your Guts

The longer it’s been this way, the harder it will be for him to accept the new rules. This is where it’s easy to cave and let it go back to the way it was, but that’s a huge mistake

Instead, it will start a vicious cycle of breaking up, making up, and more of the same old thing. No one wants or deserves to be in a relationship like that. If he continues the behavior, have the conversation again. As your partner, he should want you to have self-worth and feel like you’re amazing, which means that he should be making an effort, even if he slips up every so often. 

7. Understand Abuse

understand abuse

Sometimes, your love life can be full of abuse without you realizing it until you try to develop something that is healthy. 

Abusive relationships sneak up on you in a way that makes it truly take you by surprise when you start to see what others have been warning you about. Men might treat you like crap because they are abusive or manipulative, and previously it was easy. 

An abusive partner might turn into a really nice guy after this conversation. Things will go back to like they were when you were dating. Then, there will be small amounts of trouble, affection will slowly start to fade away again. The level of tension will rise. Next, comes the manipulation or other form of abuse again. 

This is the cycle of abuse, and it’s important to recognize this cycle to ensure that you can look out for your own well being. Learn more about abusive relationships and abusive behavior here.

8. Seek Help From A Therapist

If you both recognize that there is a problem or feel that love is long gone, seeking help from a therapist can be extremely beneficial to both you and your partner. A professional can give advice that you might not have thought of, teach each partner ways of doing things, and provide useful information for your particular situation. 

They can also address deeply rooted issues, such as how mistreatment as a child might be spilling into your adult relationships. They can answer questions that you might have, address issues related to sex, and help you two get the happiness back in your life. 

9. Know When To Leave

know when to leave

It can be hard leaving someone you love, but something that you need to understand is that if a relationship is not good for you, you’ve done everything to change behavior and are still not getting respect, it’s time to go. You cannot make other people change, including your partner.

If there is abuse present, leave as soon as you can. While abusive people can change in relationships, it’s important to make your safety a priority, especially if you have children. Abusive relationships do not change overnight, despite what your partner acts like the next day. Love is not bruises. Love is also not gaslighting, emotional abuse, or a lack of respect. Know when your partner is not changing, and find a partner that realizes how amazing you are. 


What do you do when someone treats you badly?

When something bothers you it’s important to address it. Tell your boyfriend that you feel like he doesn’t love you, doesn’t respect you and that you would like to be treated in a certain way. Set healthy boundaries, and make sure that you stick to them. 

Why do I let my boyfriend treat me badly?

Often, this has to do with a lack of self-love. When we do not love ourselves, it can make it difficult for others to treat us with love. Another common problem is that people get used to being treated this way because they were not shown love when they were children. 

Can you love someone and treat them badly?

Yes, you can love someone and treat them this way. This often arises when a person does not learn how to properly treat people as a child, or because they have a hard time expressing their emotions. However, it’s also a lie used in abusive relationships so tread carefully. 

When should you give up on someone you love?

When your needs are no longer being met and there is a complete disregard for your own feelings, needs, and wants. Although it can be hard to walk away from someone you love, it’s always important that you love yourself the way you would want anyone else to. 

What are the signs of a toxic person?

Toxic people are known for being manipulative, judgmental, refusing to accept responsibility for their own actions, and for slowly whittling away at your self-esteem. They can easily make you feel exhausted from being exposed to their toxic personality. 

To Summarize

When your boyfriend treats you horribly in a relationship, it can be hard to tell what to do. Should you leave or stay? What would you do if you were being treated this way by a boyfriend you love?

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

2 comments on “9 Things You Need To Do When Someone Treats You Badly In A Relationship”

  1. This really helped me alot. My boyfriend talks to me so badly. He belittles me and makes me feel stupid and inadequate. My therapist told me to start taking control of little things in my life to improve my self asteem. Take control of my life again. I have told my boyfriend many times that he can't talk to me like that. He apologises then just goes back to the same old way. I'm struggling to leave coz I feel he's all I have but Im getting stronger every day

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