What To Do When He Doesn’t Call (8 Important Things)

by April Maccario

Patience is truly a virtue that we are still trying to get a hang of. It's particularly hard when it comes to boy-girl relationships because this is somehow attached to our sense of self-worth. Going out on a date with a guy who either doesn't call or takes forever to do so, is something I can relate to. 

I've experienced this a handful of times and believe me when I say it's nerve-wracking. During those first crucial days, practically living inside my head, analyzing everything I did wrong. So, what I'm doing here is going to help you stay out of your head because that's a slippery slope to low self-esteem. 

It's very easy to lose sight of who you are because of a simple phone call. I am well aware of that. But I'm here to say that it doesn't have to be that way. To that effect, I'm here to tell you exactly what to do when that phone doesn't ring. 

8 Ways To Remain Sane When A Guy Doesn’t Call

1. Get Ahead Of The Situation

I’m sure we are glad to live in this day and age, so much is different and there’s a lot more liberty. For one, you can date without having a chaperone breathing down your neck, you can surf the dating scene and heck, you can ask a guy out. So, why sit around, and wait for him to call, get ahead of the situation. Do not get me wrong, don’t drop 20 missed calls and 19 messages, that’s not an attractive color on anyone.

Send him a casual text or drop a care-free message that spells out the fact that you are a modern-day woman who doesn’t mind reaching out. It should also give the impression that you’re not going to lose it just because some guy doesn’t like you back.

At the end of the day, you should send a message that won’t keep you awake at night. Just keep it calm and loose, because you do not want to make it awkward. In the case that he still does not reach out, put that phone down. You did your best and it simply was not written in the stars.

2. Stay Positive

I get it, he said he would call, it's been 3 days and the only calls you’ve received are from your mom and your gynecologist. It is so easy to get in your head at this point and go back and look over the whole date with a highlighting pen. I’ve done it and so many women after us will do the same thing. I’m no dating expert, but I’m here to tell you to stop it. Getting in your head will only ruin you for your future relationships.

It may seem quite tasking to stay on the positive side of things at this point, but the alternative is not ideal. I’m guessing that you don’t know him quite well yet, so let it go. Try your best not to take it personally because the fact that he hasn’t called back has nothing to do with you.

You’ve probably only gone out with this fellow a couple of times, so he really does not know you. If you’re feeling a bit down, lean back on the opinion of people who have known you for a while. There’s obviously something great about you that keeps them coming back.

3. Accept That This Is Something You Cannot Control

There are a number of things we cannot control in life, other people’s actions are a part of that. I understand all of us would like to snap our fingers and have people do exactly what you want. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), we can’t control anyone

By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S says that the best approach is to realize, ‘... we can control our reactions to all the things we can’t control’. Sure, you want to know why he has not reached out. But bombarding his phone with messages or filling up his voicemail box is not going to make him talk to you when you want him to. In fact, there is nothing you can do to make him have a change of heart if he does not want to call.

So, rather than wasting valuable time and energy waiting for him to call you, try to focus on something else. The fact that he is paying no attention to you is completely out of your control. If you try to find a way around it, you may lose your mind. So focus on the things you can actually change, it’ll give you some sort of satisfaction. Change your hair, get rid of that dead plant, and live your life to the fullest. You’re welcome.

4. Try Not To Fill In The Blanks

I know this is hard because the human mind is always looking for ways to rationalize everything. But you really need to try your best not to fill in the blanks. You are not a mind reader and as such, there’s no actual way to understand what is going on in someone else’s head. He’s just a guy and there are a handful of others out there, so don’t lose your mind over one guy.

Stay away from any thought that puts you in the mind of someone else. The truth of the matter is that you will never paint yourself in the right light. All you’ll be doing is looking for reasons why he didn’t call, and that, my friends, is a slippery slope. 

For all you know, he could be busy, might have lost his phone, gotten into some trouble, among a range of other things. It truly only gets weird when the silence persists. So, if you're really looking for a way to stay out of your head, then take this piece of dating advice and get ahead of the situation. Do not sit on your behind waiting for your head to fill up with negative thoughts.

Simply reach out to him and casually snoop for answers, if he seems too evasive, well at least you know there’s no hope. In some cases, the things I mentioned above could be the reason. 

5. Start The Search For Another Guy

You do not have to station yourself at street corners to attract someone or start looking the very next day. In most cases, men naturally sense when you’re open to dating. No, it's not a sixth sense, your body language and demeanor will do all the talking. Take my word for it; If you want to look more attractive, don’t change your looks, simply change your body language. 

But, before you can show it on the outside, you need to feel it on the inside. So, don’t be deceived, slathering on some lipstick and a nice dress is not going to make you feel good. So, as much as I advise you to get back on the relationship horse, make sure your mind is healthy. If you don’t, then you may end up exuding nothing but negative energy.

Once you feel a lot better, your body language will correct itself automatically. Then the dates will start flowing. Here is the thing; once this happens, you need to take it slow. Don’t put yourself in a position where you have to sit by your phone all over again. All in all, you will know when you are ready, there is no rush. As great as men are, we need a break from them sometimes.

6. Do Not Let Your Feeling Get The Best Of You

It's easy to get overwhelmed by emotions, especially if this is not your first rodeo. The dating scene is brutal and it’s highly irregular and as much as some people try to make it look like they have all the answers, they don’t. So, if you are disappointed, upset, and dejected, my advice to you is to power through. Feel what you need to feel, then move on. 

This situation does not define who you are, so let it go after a while. Do not drown in emotions because it's hard to be pulled back out. Even worse is the fact that he may be out there with someone else, unaware of how hurt you are. Just try your best to keep things in perspective and you’ll definitely be fine.

7. Accept The Fact That You Cannot Win Them All

There’s a reason why the saying ‘you win some, you lose some’ is so popular. In every aspect of life, you really cannot have it all. The same way not everyone is your cup of tea, you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. If he is not interested, best believe that someone else will be. Unfortunately, life is full of rejections and this will not be your last. There will be other men who really aren’t into you, and you can’t reak down whenever that happens.

But life is also wonderful and there are times it pays off to brave through the horrid times. So, take this as a hitch in the road and cut your losses. Hey, it was a couple of dates, you will find a way to smile again. I know I am being a bit dramatic, but I understand that it can be hard to deal with all sorts of rejection.

8. Do Not Forget

Remember how it was growing up? Then you thought you were God’s gift to men and you probably are. So, you never thought it would get to a point where you’d have to jump every time the phone rings. This particular guy has you in a fix and it definitely took a lot of time and energy to dig yourself out of that hole of self-pity. Do not forget this!

If you end up bumping into him at Starbucks and he has the guts to ask you out again. Do not forget! This is not the time to develop temporary amnesia, the fact that he’s ready to give it a go because you look amazing in that dress. Do not get sucked in all in the name of being a hopeless romantic. Even more, be prepared for the worst, because if he did it once, he can do it again. Just let it end at casual chit chat and take it easy.

Take it a step further and keep men who make you feel bad about yourself at arm’s length. Protecting yourself should be your main prerogative, think about you for a bit and you’ll realize that these kinds of situations will not happen as frequently. Hey, I am not saying you are the reason the men you’re meeting lately are a bit off. No siree, what I actually mean is that when you are OK on the inside, what they do is irrelevant to your self-worth.

FAQs 

What To Do When He Doesn't Call When He Says He Will? 

The best thing to do in this situation is to stay silent. Don't call, text, or 'bump into him', believe me when I say that it looks tacky. If you want to get his attention, simply stay quiet for as long as it takes. If it takes forever, then let it go, there's plenty of fish in the sea. 

How Long Should I Wait For Him To Call?

It's not like all women gathered together and came to the consensus that there's a specific period to wait. But, logically after 5 days, it's pretty much implied that he's not going to call. Would you honestly be planning to reach out after five whole days? Yeah, I thought so. 

Why Doesn't He Call Or Yext Me? 

Weirdly, there's isn't just one reason behind this. Maybe he got a vibe from you on the date that made him feel like you weren't interested. Even more, he may just be a really shy guy. Then, of course, there's always the fact that he's just not into you and doesn't know how to say it directly. 

How Do You Stay High When A Guy Pulls Away?

Don't over-analyze, because that only ends up showing you in a bad light. Proceed to take care of number one for the days that follow. Look good, smell good, emote anyway you deem fit, but don't dwell in a negative space for too long. Do not, I repeat, do not try to rekindle his interest by all means. 

How Do You Make Him Miss You Like Crazy? 

If you want him to miss you, simply take a step back. Don't go all out on the calls, texts, and so on. Spend your time taking care of yourself. In fact, when you do talk, always end the conversation first and keep him wanting more. That air of mystery goes a long way to sear the thought of you across his brain. 

In Conclusion

The waiting game is not anyone's favorite game, no matter how you play it. So, I understand why you need to make sense of if. Hopefully, the answer came to you through one of the points up there. If you have a contribution or concern, please feel free to drop it in the comment section below. Even more, share the article, so we can start a whole conversation. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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