What is a Hall Pass in a Relationship (11 Reasons Why a Hall Pass is Not a Good Idea)

Last updated on October 24, 2022 by April Maccario

Are you asking the question, “What is a hall pass in a relationship?” and looking for answers? 

Hall passes are open relationships, where both partners are at liberty to have other sexual partners, despite being in a committed relationship with themselves.

Hall passes may seem like a good idea, especially when you want to experiment and have more freedom with your spouse. However, there are some overlooked dangers of accepting a hall pass from your husband. If you’re curious to find out how such relationships end, continue reading. 

11 Reasons Why a Hall Pass is Not a Good Idea

1. There’s bound to be jealousy

It’s easy to believe that open relationship members are free of envy since they want to be involved with others. However, this is not the case. Jealousy is a common human emotion that can generate substantial conflict in any association.

In open partnerships, individuals might quickly find themselves making comparisons and trying to measure up to their partner's other lovers, causing jealousy to spring up. Even if your husband suggests a hall pass to spice up your union, be rest assured that you’ll eventually feel resentful about the situation later on. 

Hall passes might sound fun and might work for some time. But eventually, you’ll desire a sense of closeness and intimacy with your partner that wouldn’t be there. It’s best to have a conversation with your spouse about this potential problem and reconsider the agreement about having an open arrangement.

2. Your self-esteem will drop

Open arrangments are usually unpredictable. You might expect to have your self-esteem and confidence in check, but your partner’s new lovers are likely to cause new changes. A common example is measuring yourself with your partner's other companions. 

It's easy to worry that his other lovers are sexier, more accomplished, or have better sensual qualities than you, causing your self-esteem to plummet. Even as a wife, the mere thought that your husband is with someone else will make you doubt your capabilities. 

This kind of relationship isn’t a good idea because it will also inevitably break down your boundaries. Even if you naturally feel sexy, you might become self-conscious, believing you need to do more to attract your spouse. You’re bound to face unforeseen challenges in trying to connect with your partner on a deeper level due to the other lovers involved.

3. An unconscious tussle for power

In open partnerships, members may have variable numbers of new partners, as well as other sexual encounters that mean different things to them. Since these experiences aren’t evenly enjoyed, there might be an unconscious struggle to stay in change or to avoid being left behind.

Therefore, there might be somewhat unjust power distribution. One person would tend to enjoy the process more than the other, creating a toxic environment for the partners. This process might also elicit resentment and rage from the primary partner when they can’t live up to their spouse’s experiences. 

Hall passes in a relationship are often too complex to handle because both partners can’t guarantee that they’ll have equal or shared encounters, which can push them further apart. Therefore, if you want to have an open marriage, it’s necessary to discuss real-life challenges that you might see during the process.

4. Unforeseen occurrences

Accidents and missteps in the bedroom may happen despite the intentions of the couple. Therefore, there are likely to be unplanned events like pregnancies or sexually transmitted illnesses when partners aren’t exclusive with one another. 

Note that when one spouse is impacted by an unforeseen occurrence, the other party is also impacted. The likelihood of this happening in a hall pass relationship is high, leading to further problems between the members involved. 

Bringing a baby into this type of situation and potentially growing a family might only cause more issues. More so, many more partners might be harmed if a sexually transmitted illness becomes incurable. Therefore, in non-monogamy, nothing is certain, which can be quite scary. 

Even with open communication from the couples involved, no one can predict the outcome of events. A hall pass isn’t merely about the sex but the emotional work involved in sustaining such an association. 

5. Emotions get out of control

emotions get out of control

The majority of people who join open partnerships feel they would be able to self-regulate their emotions. Emotions, on the other hand, are untidy, unpredictable, and in general uncontrollable. Partners may experience feelings they did not expect. 

They could, for example, develop love affection for another person. There’s also the possibility that one of their additional partners falls in love with them. With relationships like these, there is no straightforward solution to keeping everyone's emotions in check.

This process is completely different from a monogamous relationship where both parties have expectations and can keep their feelings within barriers. However, when partners are having sex with other people merely for fun and hoping they don’t hurt one another, things can get quite tough.

Guys tend to be naturally possessive, while women can pull a jealous front. Situations like these can cause several disputes between the couple.

6. Terms and conditions are somewhat uncertain

In an exclusive relationship, it’s easy to have clear expectations from your partner. When a partner crosses certain boundaries, the other can be completely honest with them about their displeasure. 

On the other hand, open partnerships can be quite confusing. Even when both partners are having fun, certain things might still upset them. In such situations, such couples find it hard to discuss their feelings. They might suppress them and issue a jail-free card instead.

With hall passes, one partner is succumbing to the other most of the time. It's unusual for both of them to be evenly pleased with the outcome of events. One of them is likely to be less involved in or enthusiastic about the notion of an open partnership.

Thus, while the conditions may be consented upon in principle, the participants may not entirely agree on the terms in practice.

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7. Honesty will reduce

In most open partnerships, there is some sort of verbal or nonverbal agreement between partners. For example, they might choose not to reveal too much information about their sexual exploits. This aura of secrecy or omission may soon suffocate honest and open interaction between spouses. More so, not that when trust is lost, it is frequently followed by dishonesty.

If talking to your partner about certain things becomes a problem, the romantic relationship would soon lose its spark. A hall pass is likely to break the bond between partners as they can’t effectively communicate. Therefore, even though you finally accept a hall pass situation with your spouse, bear in mind that your marriage might lack proper communication. 

Building a family with this person would also be difficult. The more you can’t openly talk about certain topics with him, the more your faith in the association dies. 

8. Most guys are incapable of handling an open relationship

The thought of an open relationship may appeal to men because of the adventures they are bound to encounter. More so, the idea of sleeping with numerous women but being in a loving partnership sounds exciting.

Either way, it’s crucial to note that while a man sleeps with multiple women, these ladies might likewise be sleeping with other men. Even though the man likes the ideas, the psychology of the hero instinct might soon set in. 

According to Hero Instinct, males have a biological urge to feel wanted, important, and to provide for the woman they care about. The problem with having an open relationship is that the hero impulse isn't awakened.

Even though it’s his own hall escape idea, the man might soon feel unwanted by the ladies he’s sleeping with. This process might make it harder to keep up with the situation, even though he initially thought it was a good idea. 

9. Lack of intimacy

If your previous relationship has had a long history, it will take time to adapt from being intimate with someone to sharing love with many people. The idea of starting an open relationship might seem plausible in the beginning because humans are naturally drawn to new things. However, bear in mind that developing that former sense of closeness will take time.

It's probable that you'll meet some amazing new individuals, which will be thrilling. However, finding someone with whom you can develop true intimacy will be difficult. Therefore, even though both parties might benefit from the pleasure of sex from a hall pass, understand that the lack of intimacy might make the process unbearable. 

Knowing that you can’t communicate emotionally with your partner will take a toll on your emotional needs as time goes on. You might get tired quickly and constantly seek new adventures with people. 

10. False freedom

false freedom

One of the major reasons why people tend to embrace a hall pass in a marriage is the sense of freedom it provides. However, the belief that you hold no attachments to your sexual partners is often farfetched. In most cases, a rule will be consciously or unconsciously broken by somebody, and things would get entangled. 

More so, know that the probability of someone getting hurt is high, which means you have to deal with the thought of hurting someone for a long time. Peradventure the relationship doesn’t go as planned, there’s a probability of having awkward run-ins with your previous partners, which would be more discomforting than you imagined. 

Therefore, as you bask in the independence you think you have, bear in mind that there are countless events that can steal your liberty afterward.

11. You might not be able to keep up

There's a good chance your partner will find others who are better in bed than you, and vice versa. What happens next? It's possible that your current relationship will be placed on hold, or your primary partner might grow uncomfortable around you. They might find it challenging to confess that someone satisfies them more than you do.

Even if you’re an ideal match for them, the newness and excitement of other associations might derail them from the truth. Therefore, any marriage that embraces a hall pass might fall apart as time goes on. The more they associate with different people, they will unconsciously compare it with their relationship with you. 


Is it OK to have a hall pass in a relationship?

A hall pass might seem like an exciting thing to do, but it becomes more complex as time goes on. Partners might find it challenging to talk about their sexual escapades, which will inhibit the bond and trust they share with each other. 

How do you stay faithful in a sexless marriage?

If your marriage is experiencing hard times, especially if sex is no longer taking place, it’s necessary to have a conversation with your spouse about the problem. Staying faithful in such a situation would involve releasing the tension elsewhere and choosing to enjoy each other’s company without sexual expectations. 

How do you tell if he has slept with someone else?

If your partner is constantly refusing intimacy with you, often has a deflated ball sack, and smells differently than he usually does, he might have recently had sex with someone else. Even though some circumstances like fatigue can cause these symptoms, you should look into them.

Can you love someone and sleep with someone else?

Staying faithful while being married or in an exclusive association is due to a person’s belief system or set of values. It’s possible to love someone but not have the necessary moral standards to stay loyal to them. 

What are the rules to an open relationship?

If you want to accept a hall pass in your marriage, it’s necessary to have some terms and conditions. Some of the rules to implement include setting limits on how both of you discuss other partners or agreeing on the time spent with other lovers. 

In Conclusion

Did you enjoy this article on accepting a hall pass in your association? Know that it might seem adventurous, but there are several repercussions to look out for. Kindly leave a comment below if you liked this article or share it with others to see.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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