Too Shy To Date? (11 Ways To Overcome Dating Anxiety)

by April Maccario

Shyness is a feeling of discomfort or lack of confidence in certain situations. Oftentimes, this rids people of experiencing life as they should. More so, it can affect normal relationships with others and even interfere with a person’s dating life. In fact, the feeling of anxiety and nervousness prevents true personalities from blossoming; and thus, takes a toll on the entire process.  

No doubt, life has its ups and downs but I strongly believe dating should be for everyone, including shy people. This article is especially for the ladies that are too shy to date, and have tried all they can to change this factor. The following tips will guide you through your confidence crisis, and will definitely get your dating life back on track. 

Dating Tips For Timid People

1. Characterize What You Want

Characterizing what you want in a guy is the first confidence boost you will have. Simply knowing what you want will motivate you, and ensure you don’t settle for less. Being too shy to date doesn’t mean you deserve bad relationships; as much as everyone else, you deserve to be with someone you consider your perfect match. 

More so, every girl needs to understand the type of guy they are, and how their potential partner would be able to match them accordingly. If you don’t come to the realization of this, your feelings of anxiety would always get in the way, even when you find someone that’s good for you. Following this tip will give you the confidence to decline a potentially bad relationship with someone, and would curb any desperation you have to simply start dating again.

2. Expand Your Social Circle

Everyone knows that timid people tend to stay in their comfort zones. Thus, even when an opportunity to expand their social circle comes, they wouldn’t seize it. Since shyness makes us reserved, it is very common he/she wouldn’t make the first move. A timid person would simply hope that the right one comes into his/her life by fate. Nevertheless, this may not always be the case. 

Clearly, sticking to a routine of just going from work to home may deprive you of coming in contact with others. This is why it’s important to expand your social circle when given the opportunity. Try going for one or two events once in a while, and be open to the idea of meeting others. 

3. Engage In More Activities

Everyone has a distinctive response to dating as a whole. Some may be overly excited about the process, while others may dread taking steps, with the fear that it makes them look desperate. If you’re the kind that dreads taking steps, one way to spice up your life is by engaging in more activities, especially the ones you love. 

Shyness, oftentimes, diminishes in a place of comfort, and if you’re doing the things you love, there’s a high chance you will be more relaxed and comfortable. Essentially, engaging in these activities outside your normal routines will give you a chance to meet others and will help you relate with them with less anxiety. With this, you can possibly meet a date and bond over the things you love, without feeling desperate.    

4. Try Online Dating

If you’re already overwhelmed by making physical connections and you’ve tried your best in finding a date the good old way, then it may be time to consider online dating. It is much easier than talking and having to make eye contact. Nevertheless, it still requires an ample amount of social connection. 

The first tip listed in this article will help in this scenario because it’s not prudent to open an account and expect the perfect person to just find it. You have to know what you’re looking for and go for it. You don’t have to be afraid to make the first move. This is simply because you’re going for what you want in the most inconspicuous way, and learning more about the dating process as you go.

5. Always Be Yourself

5. Always Be Yourself

Shyness comes with certain insecurities, and this tends to make many of us want to change things about themselves. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t have to change anything to match with the guy you’re trying to date. In the long run, you wouldn’t be able to keep up with the impression you have created. 

More so, your personality should radiate inside and out, and should be a reflection of who you truly are, and not just who you want to be. Remember the entire dating process isn’t just for the thrills, but to find a guy that is willing to embrace you for you. So, you have to accept the fact that your personality is superior, and that shyness does not diminish it

6. Brace Yourself For Offline Meetings

It’s one thing to make splendid connections online, but it’s another to take the connection offline. Perhaps, you’re already seeing someone online, it’s imperative to evaluate the degree of the relationship in person. This will help you know the other party’s level of commitment and may save you years of committing to the wrong person

Though interacting online can be extremely comfortable, this, oftentimes, can be misleading. Hence, you have to mentally prepare yourself for an offline date. Remember to be yourself and talk about the things you love. If the date doesn’t go so smoothly, remember it’s a learning process that you can effectively channel to another source, and make better dating choices in the future. 

7. Consider Your Options

Our first tip in this article denoted that you shouldn’t settle for less, which is one of the most important criteria. Nevertheless, it may turn out that your six-pack ideal type, may not be what’s best for you. This is why it’s important to consider all your options. However, considering your options does not denote going for someone bad for you. 

This simply means that life may not give you what you want, but it may give you something better. Thus, don’t only focus on the list you have created because you can easily miss out on other beautiful things around. If there’s a kind guy constantly making efforts to go out with you, you should give him a chance and see where it goes. 

8. Try Not To Be Offended By The Perceptions Of Others

Generally, everyone has their own perception of shyness. Even though some are fallacious, you have to be prepared to embrace all ideologies when you’re putting yourself out in the relationship world. Remember, you’re going to meet a lot of people who will relate with you in the way they know best; nevertheless, try not to be offended. So, it’s your duty to focus on knowing them better and making profitable connections. 

First impressions are most times misleading, which can cause indifferences amongst people. Although this may be true, the irony of life makes it clear that you can never know who your prince charming would be.   

9. Prepare At Every Step Of The Way

Dating is something that demands preparation if you want to get it right. If you know you’re meeting someone new, it’s important to have all the possible scenarios thought out beforehand. A person’s shyness can sometimes interfere with the beauty of natural chemistry. Nevertheless, you can counter this with enough preparation. 

To avoid running out of words, always write out cue topics, possible responses, and make quality research where needed. Take out time to know the location of your dates and always ensure it suits your style of comfortability. What’s more, think of what you love, write them down, and bring them up on the date so you never run out of comfortable subjects to talk about. 

10. Never Fear Rejection

10. Never Fear Rejection

You should come to the realization that many of us out there also have a fear of being rejected. Nevertheless, when you get rejected, what you make of it will define who you are and not the being rejected itself. Trying to date may not be an easy journey; as a matter of fact, it might be a bumpy ride especially those of us that are timid, but you have to embrace the process until you end up with what you’ve always wanted. 

According to popular opinion, the best is always saved for last, which means you can’t allow the fear of rejection to cripple you or make you less committed to your journey. More so, when you eventually meet the right guy, don’t be afraid to open up and simply be who you are.  

11. Stay Positive

When you stay positive, the easier it is to control the situations around your life. In general, a positive mindset has the capacity to make the most out of every moment. Always deter the negative thoughts – the ones that make you feel you’re not good enough, and try to focus on kind words and good experiences. 

If you don’t challenge yourself to think positively, the ups and downs of life and the dating world will hastily consume your motivation. Hence, when things aren’t necessarily going as they should, always allow positive thoughts to make something good out of the situation.

 

FAQs 

How Do You Date When You’re Shy? 

Dating involves multiple efforts, especially on the subject of getting out of your comfort zone. Though this may be tedious, the end results are always worth it. The kind of relationship you want should be your motivation, despite the ups and downs you may encounter. 

What To Do If You’re Too Shy To Talk To A Girl?

If you’re too nervous to talk to someone, it’s best to always focus on the person rather than yourself. Shyness tends to bring out a person’s insecurities, but if you can effectively channel that away in situations, you can find yourself having an ample amount of confidence you never imagined. 

Is It Bad To Be Shy In A Relationship? 

Being timid in a relationship is not a bad quality. In fact, dating shy guys or girls dictate being aware of their qualities and being willing to embrace every aspect of it. Overall, being comfortable in a relationship is an extremely important factor if you want it to succeed.

Can A Shy Guy Date A Shy Girl? 

A shy guy dating a girl like him is a common scenario that can be perfect, but this is dependent on the personalities of the two. Dating a shy guy or girl can be something beautiful because it’s likely they would understand each other perfectly. They can overcome their fears together and simply embrace the beauty in themselves. 

Why Is Shyness Attractive?

Shy men and women seem generally reserved from an outside perspective, and this tends to leave a lot to the unknown. This can spur up a lot of attention and attraction towards their personalities and would make people want to learn more about them.  

To Sum It Up

Did you enjoy these tips? For all the timid ladies, understand that you have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and stay positive if you want to meet your match. Remember to take your time as well; you’ll get what you’re looking for eventually. Tell us what you think about this article in the comment section and don’t forget to share it with your friends. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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