Is He Stringing Me Along? (7 Alarming Signs)

by April Maccario

Relationships have their ups and downs and are distinctive in their own ways. Some people might feel the need to take things slow, while others might not be bothered about a fast pace. In a nutshell, the pace of a relationship differs all the time. 

However, it’s quite common to misinterpret these two things; when your partner is taking it slow, and when he’s stringing along. 

A guy might not be interested in having anything serious with you, but you might be thinking he wants to take things slow. This is why it’s important to know the signs of someone stringing you along. 

Though you might have feelings for him and genuinely want to be with him, there are certain ways to know when he’s playing with your feelings, so you can quickly move on

If you’re asking, “Is he stringing me along?” then this article will give you 7 prominent signs that guys display when leading ladies on.

7 Signs A Man Is Just Stringing You Along

1. Communication Is Bad

communication is bad

Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, a guy would at least send texts or call every two days to find out how his girl is doing. He may want to take things slow, but that doesn’t mean he should say nothing to you for long periods, just because he doesn’t want to rush things. 

If this guy really sees a future in the relationship, he’ll try to check up on you and inquire about how you’re keeping up with other areas of her life. If he isn’t actively doing this, then there’s a certainty that he’s stringing you along.

What’s more, if he acts unbothered, goes days without calling or sending romantic and thoughtful texts, it’s time to question where you stand in this guy’s life. Nothing would make a guy that is interested in you go more than one week without speaking to you, except if something bad happened; maybe he crash-landed on a deserted island where there’s no network coverage or WiFi?

That type of nonchalant attitude is a sign he’s not looking for anything serious, perhaps he’s simply testing the waters, or using the relationship to pass time? If you keep staying with this guy, that’s practically saying “hey, here I am, string me along!”. Certainly, you have to get back your life, start treasuring it and don’t let time-wasters get the best of you.

So, if you’re wondering, “Is he stringing me along?” then analyze the level of communication in the relationship over the next few weeks. Is he putting in an effort to call you, send you thoughtful texts, or even visit regularly, then that’s a person that wants you in his life. If it’s the opposite, and he’s only making out time to talk to you when it’s convenient for him, then it’s a red flag that he might be stringing you along. 

2. You Plan Most Of The Outings

One easy way to determine when a person is likely to string someone along is by their enthusiasm towards outings. If you feel like you’re the only one that gets excited about doing new things, going to places, and simply having fun as a new couple, then it’s a sign that he doesn't want a serious relationship with you. 

On the other hand, taking the dating process too slowly also comes with this disadvantage; for example, a man might not necessarily fancy hanging out, if he wants to take things slow

Nevertheless, there should be something he’s still enthusiastic about, especially if it’s a new relationship. If he’s not even trying to do anything romantic and is unwilling to be creative or share memorable moments, then it’s a red flag that he’s simply stringing you along. 

There’s also the possibility that you have a shy or reserved man, who isn’t excited about events you find fun. Nonetheless, with time, you’ll be able to know what he enjoys doing. After observing, if you feel like he isn’t still making any effort to do them with you, then he’s probably not serious about you. 

3. He’s Reluctant To Make Plans For The Future

In most cases, the honeymoon stage of a new relationship comes with plenteous hopes and dreams for the future. Couples tend to paint pictures in their heads and daydream about beautiful experiences they might have together. 

In most cases, they might find themselves occasionally bringing up the topic. This gives the couple a sense of hope and encouragement that the relationship is indeed going to stand the test of time.

On the contrary, for a guy who isn’t taking things seriously, none of these sweet moments would occur. You might subtly throw some of these subjects into discussions about the future, and see if his feedback is flat and uneventful. 

If he makes you feel like you’re too forward or getting your hopes up too soon, know that this might not entirely be true. In most cases, talking about the future at the early stage of a relationship would make the two parties excited, especially when they both want a life together.

This is why not making plans for the future is an easy way to determine whether your man is really seeking to build a future with you, or is just living in the moment.

4. He Takes More Than He Gives

he takes more than he gives

Commitment is a tricky subject if a guy is leading you on. When a hidden motive becomes a driving force for a man in a relationship, he’s bound to take more than he gives. In the meantime, he might give you the impression that he wants something serious, and is willing to compromise just to make you happy – but he only speaks without taking action. 

Anytime you feel like a man only wants to take from you, without contributing to your needs, then he’s probably not serious about you. If he always has an excuse for his lack of commitment to you or the relationship, then it’s definitely a red flag. More so, if he makes promises, without keeping to his words, then you’re sure he’s not serious about building anything solid with you. 

Certainly, dating is all about compromise, and someone who isn’t willing to lose anything just to keep your love definitely has ulterior motives that keep him with you. More so, he could be hiding under the guise of a serious relationship because he wants to benefit from you or simply pass time. 

Regardless of his motive, if you even have to ask if he’s leading you on, then this sign of taking more than giving will help you know when it’s time to move on.

5. He Plans On/Off Events

Sticking to his words is one thing that a guy stringing someone along finds it hard to do. Moreover, whenever he suspects you’re losing interest, due to his lack of commitment, he plans an over-the-top event or outing, just to make sure you get back with him. However, you will notice this sign because it will only happen once in a while. 

As a matter of fact, it might never happen throughout the dating process, which only makes you wonder what sponsored the action. To tell you the truth, the only reason why a man would plan on and off dates is that he wants to keep your attention on him. The difference between somebody who’s totally immersed in making you happy, from a guy who’s just testing the waters, is their commitment level

One is conscious of his commitment all the time, while the other is only conscious when it benefits him. Try to check the patterns of the guy you suspect is leading you on, if he only sets dates once in a while, and disappears into oblivion after that, then he’s definitely not taking things with you seriously

More so, showing disinterest for his once-in-a-while date ideas can be an easy way to reveal his true motives, this will especially get him agitated that you’re no longer swooned by his alluring words.

6. He Rarely Calls You His Girlfriend

Words of affirmation are a common way to know how invested someone is in you. At the early stage, you might not expect a lot of words of affirmation from your man, but you would definitely expect him to call you his girlfriend. He’ll say it most of the time, and especially to his friends, which is a way to show that he’s proud of dating you, and plans to build a profitable future with you. 

If he doesn’t tell his friends that you’re his girlfriend and uses nicknames, this could indicate that he’s not ready for anything serious. Perhaps this guy wants to take the dating process slow, but there would still be a sign to show that he’s proud to be with you. In any other case, it’s certain that he’s just enjoying his time with you, and nothing else.

Furthermore, he’ll likely tell you that he loves you when it’s convenient, and when he wants something from you. More so, he would treat you like his girlfriend in certain situations, and act casual in others. Signs like these are red flags that he only wants to get something from you, and isn’t solely engrossed in the idea of dating you.

7. He Has Too Many Past Situations

One thing to look out for is a guy that has too many situations with his exes, guys with commitment issues find it hard to properly put their lives together, which means it might also be difficult for them to handle their past relationships. He keeps spacing you and trying to get back with one of his exes, or he just has so many issues going on, it becomes too messy and draining. 

Since he’s not necessarily looking for anything serious, holding on to past relationships is what will keep such a guy occupied when he’s not giving you attention. If you’re having issues with your man, especially because of his exes, then it shows that he’s leading you on. 

More so, if he has no viable explanation about why he can’t cut them off and focus on you, it’s indicative that he doesn’t want to build a future with you. The mere thought of an ex getting in the way of a great relationship should make any man want to get rid of his past associations. Nevertheless, when he isn’t even making any effort, you can identify him as a time-waster. 

FAQs

What to say to someone who is stringing you along?

In order to escape from being strung along forever, showing them that you’re not as interested as they think, would make them reveal their true motives. More so, if you cut them off from the benefits you’re giving, their real interest level will show, and they’ll possibly look for another target. Make them realize that you know they’re leading you on, and avoid being swooned by their sweet talks.

Is he taking it slow or stringing me along?

The difference between somebody taking the dating process slow and leading you on is a clear level of interest. A person who wants to take it slow might be doing that to get enough time to know you before the relationship gets serious. On the other hand, a time-waster will show interest at certain times, and other times, purposely space you.

How do you know if you’re being strung along?

One easy method to know when you’re being strung along is the level of communication in the relationship. A person who is interested in building something profitable with you will take out time to communicate with you, especially because communication is vital in the early stages of dating. If he’s simply doing nothing, you’ll know he’s not planning to take the relationship seriously.

Is my ex stringing me along?

After a breakup, it can be quite confusing for the two parties to navigate their new association with each other. Most times, the comfort of having each other around can make one party begin to string the other along, in order to escape the fear of being alone. If they only communicate with you when it’s convenient for them, and are not ready to classify the association, then they might be leading you on.

How do you stop someone from stringing you along?

The best method to stop people from wasting your time is by losing interest in them entirely. The more attention you give to them, the more they’ll have hopes of leading you on until they are done with you. Making them know, both verbally and with your actions, that you only desire a serious relationship, will make them get serious, or possibly find another target.

At The End Of The Day,

It’s best to know when you need to move on and find somebody new, holding on to somebody who might never get serious with you, is simply killing the time you could use in building with somebody else. If you enjoyed reading through this list, kindly share this article with friends and comment below if you liked it.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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