Signs He's Talking To Another Girl (13 Alarming Signs)

by April Maccario

Statistically, men cheat more than women. Generally, one in five people in a relationship cheats on their partner. That means you or someone you know has been cheated on before. So no, it isn’t strange at all that you are out here looking for signs he’s talking to another woman.

While monogamy used to be all the rage and still remains the most popular kind of marriage, it isn’t as binding in dating until you’ve had “the talk.” These days, the early period of dating is like swimming in murky waters. Most people are in it for trivial reasons, so if the commitment is what you are looking for, you will have to state it.

Now, whether your man has been dodging the “what are we” talk or has agreed to be exclusive but his actions still put you on edge, say no more. These signs will tell you if you are his only girl or one of many.

Signs He Interested In Someone Else

1. He spends less time with you

When you started, this guy literally couldn’t get enough of you. Clearing his schedule wasn’t a problem, and things he couldn’t postpone or avoid, he tried to sort quickly so he could get back to you. Nowadays, it’s like he never runs of excuses to not see you.

I understand spending all his waking hours with you is not a realistic expectation, but this isn’t that. His attention seems to be split in too many ways. Now, he may have just gotten busier at work, or dealing with other things you don’t know about yet, but it can just as easily mean he is talking to someone else.

2. He never leaves his phone around you

Between calling, texting, and other forms of exchanges on social media, if he is talking to another woman, most of their conversations happen on the phone. Someone who has something to hide will always be on guard. You may not even be the type of person who goes through their partner’s phone, but he wouldn’t want to tempt fate.

If he has suddenly developed the habit of taking his phone with him everywhere, including the bathroom, something might be up. Another related sign is if he’s recently changed his phone password, or won’t disclose it no matter what.

3. He doesn’t give straight answers

Typically, in an attempt to not act weird and give himself away, he ends up showing signs he is interested in someone else all by himself. Because he’s trying to be extra careful, he takes a minute to answer your question, irrespective of what it is. Even straightforward questions about why he’s been working so much lately get you mostly mumbo jumbo. 

Between his body language and the phone thing, his behavior lately has been suspicious. If despite all that, you decide to be a reasonable human being and ask him what’s up instead of jumping to conclusions, and he can’t provide a straight answer, there’s your cue. 

4. It’s all physical

Sometimes, signs he has feelings for another woman may be disguised as a heightened interest in you. It feels good to feel desired by someone you love, but if sex is all you have going for you as a couple, it may be because someone else is rousing his passion.

If your relationship is relatively new and all you do is jump each other’s bones every time you meet up, that’s hot. But if you’ve made it clear that it isn’t all you want and it continues that way, it may be because his heart belongs to another, and he has no love to spare except in bed.

5. He’s all about living in the moment

A guy who is talking to another woman will always try to keep his options open. He would never want to be caught in a web he can’t easily wriggle his way out of. So, if you’ve noticed your man never seems comfortable with you including him in your not-so-distant future plans, it’s probably because there is someone else he’d rather be with.

Sure, he talks a big game about how all we really have is today, and there is no point in preparing for a future that might never come. But does that philosophy apply to other areas of his life, or is it just with you? Your answer to that is the sign you seek.

6. He is always on his phone when you are together

This man claims to be oh-so-busy that he can’t talk for more than a few minutes on the phone before ‘he has to go.’ In fact, he is starting to make you feel like you text too much because he hardly replies. It has happened so often that you’ve accepted that texting just isn’t his thing.

But then, the time he spends with you is when all the exciting things happen online, and you can’t seem to tear him away from the phone. Sure, it could mean the nature of his job requires him to stay connected. But if it doesn’t work, he’s probably that invested because there is someone he can’t leave hanging – very likely a girl.

7. You can’t go see him without calling first

Some things like calling ahead of a visit are considered a courtesy, even with someone you are seeing. However, if your partner leverages that too much, it could be a sign you are not his only one. Unless he is living with anxiety and would prefer to know things beforehand, there is nothing wrong with showing up unannounced at your man’s place once in a while.

If you have ever surprised him at home or at work, and he got so mad that he overlooked the intention, it could be because you came close to catching him. I understand he may have other plans that don’t involve another lady. Still, if he can’t pass that across without getting angry, he’s hiding something.

8. You don’t know his friends

While there are exceptions, introducing your partner to your circle generally means you see the relationship going somewhere. When you like someone, you want those closest to you to like them or, at the very least, get along with them. Some guys just want to flaunt you to their friends like a trophy, but as I said, there are exceptions.

Perhaps your significant other isn’t one to introduce just any girl to his crew. However, despite having discussed where you stand and doing things couples do, he still doesn’t want you to meet his friends, nor is he particularly interested in meeting yours. This could mean he’s taking his time or reserving that honor for the other lady he’s talking to. 

9. He doesn’t want you to follow him on social media

In this digital age, almost everything happens online. Your man’s social media pages are like his niche, where he has control over the image he puts out there. Many people opt to feather themselves up to attract the kind of attention they otherwise would not get. Others lie about their reality – like having a girlfriend.

If your partner falls within the category of those who lie about their relationship, as far as the world is concerned, he is free to mingle. This makes it easy for him to carry conversations with as many other ladies as he wants in and out of the DMs and following you simply restrict him.   

10. He won’t (let you) post pictures together

He won’t (let you) post pictures together

As if it isn’t bad enough to shut you out of his social media circle, he also tries to curate what you post on your own page. When taking pictures with him becomes a chore, and he hardly lets his face show in them, it could be a sign.

Even more, when you finally get a couple of good shots together, and he sternly warns you not to post anyone he can be identified in, that’s definitely a red flag. He may sell it to you as keeping it private to keep people guessing, but he is probably just saying that to protect his investment with the other person he likes.

11. He makes all the plans – and cancelations

Sometimes, the signs are not even hard to see if you pay attention. If you only get to hang with your man at a time and place he chooses, there is one. Yes, he may have a tight schedule, but if he disregards every idea you bring up because of that, he either doesn’t rate you or is seeing someone else.

On other days, his highness lets you make plans and even agrees to it. You excitedly prepare to meet up, but he ends up canceling at the last minute. If this happens a lot with no cogent reason, don’t let the expensive gifts he makes it up with sway you, there goes your sign. 

12. He calls you another lady’s name

Rookie mistake, but even experts slip at times. This is a big one. Obviously, you know something is up when he moans out another girl’s name while you’re going down on him. That would be the white whale of signs – though some guys can still manage to explain their way out of it. 

However, sex isn’t the only way to catch him. If he’s talking to someone new, odds are she’s what he mostly thinks about. No matter how good he is at compartmentalizing, sooner or later, he’ll mix you up in his head and call you by her name. I assume you can take it from there.

13. He has a female superfriend

Urban Dictionary defines a superfriend here, but if I’m being totally honest, I didn’t even know it was a thing until I started writing this. The definition matches what I had in mind but with a little extra. This person supports him and does everything a friend does, and then some.

He confides in her more than you, her word is the law, they see each other every other day, their friendship has no boundaries. He has all kinds of pictures of her and basically treats her like a soulmate, but he says you have nothing to worry about. Sure, they could just be kindred spirits, or you know, more and he’s hiding her in plain sight.

FAQs

How do you tell if he’s talking to another girl?

You can tell by observing changes in his behavioral pattern. The attention he used to pay to just you is now being split between you and the other girl. Conversations with you will gradually reduce as it increases on the other end.

How do you know if he’s talking to someone else?

Overprotectiveness of his phone, mistakenly calling you the other person’s name, being less available, and generally being distracted when he’s with you, are dead giveaways. You can also tell he is putting his eggs elsewhere when things are only physical with you. And he insists on living in the moment rather than planning a future together.

Why is my boyfriend talking to another girl?

Your boyfriend might be doing it for sexual reasons, either because he isn’t getting enough from you or gets off on being unfaithful. It may also be because he isn’t ready to have a committed relationship yet, or doesn’t think you are the one he wants to settle down with.

How do you know if he’s seeing other people? 

Some telltale signs will give him away whether he is trying to get with someone else or is already seeing other people. If the two of you haven’t agreed to date exclusively, the chances of him keeping his options open are even bigger. If he avoids “the talk” and prefers to remain without labels, there is your cue.

How do you make him miss you like crazy?

The best way to make him miss you is by becoming a better version of yourself away from him. I’d say post thirst traps looking your best, but that would be for the wrong reason - to get his attention, and it opens you up to more disappointment if he doesn’t bite.

To Conclude

No one should make you feel like second best in a relationship and I hope these signs help clear things up regarding where you stand with your significant other. You deserve better than to stay wondering if there is someone else or it’s just in your head. One way or another, this sets you free. 

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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