30 Heartbreaking Signs He Doesn't Love You Anymore

by April Maccario

You've been spending time with the love of your life, and it's been a great feeling since the very beginning. Someway, somehow, you start to sense that, even though he hasn't spoken about it, he's no longer in love with you. 

This is a hard and tough pill to swallow for any partner, especially when he's the only one who tickles your fancy (in a world filled with over 3.5 billion men).

I get it. I've felt this too, and trust me; it hurt just as much. Finding out in subtle ways that this one special person you want to spend the rest of your life with doesn’t love you anymore. 

However, the fact that he longer loves you and doesn't want to be a part of your life is evidence that more problems are to come, which of course, can be very daunting.

How Do You Know He Doesn’t Love You Anymore?

The truth is, no matter how we try to sugar-coat, breaking up with someone is tough, which you have likely experienced in the past with an ex-boyfriend. It involves hurting someone else, and in this case, yours. However, although he might not love you anymore, it doesn’t mean he intentionally wants to cause you such pain.

With that being said, it’s also worth noting that, before the breakup, before the weird emotions, and before the vanishing of intense love that once flourished, there are sure tell-tale signs that will help you decipher whether or not your man is no longer in love with you. 

These signs, when noticed early on in the relationship, can help prevent the heartache and wasted fantasies you might've invested in your relationship. 

They will also help you devise a backup plan, and prevent you from making any extra effort for him. They may not be foolproof, but they're the perfect guide whenever you know in your heart that things are not how they used to be and what you had doesn’t exist anymore.

1. He Seems Withdrawn

Once upon a time in your fairy-tale, your man was open with you. He told you everything, from the minutest detail like the mole on his toe, to how badly his boss treats him sometimes. Your man was very open about his feelings, always sure to tell you what was on his mind, until all of a sudden he wasn't.

Now he's closed off and seems to have shut you out of his innermost feelings. When you notice that your man is starting to withdraw, it might be a sign that he's no longer into you.

Yes, it is also possible that he's going through a phase where he desires some space to assess his thoughts, but with his withdrawal, it’s clear that something is not right. What’s more, if extended for some time, could mean something else - or a sign the end is near. If he's not talking to you or anybody else, chances are there's something he's trying to hide.

2. You Always Annoy Him

you always annoy him

Many of us women enjoy that lovey-dovey honeymoon phase with a new partner everyone talks about. When your relationship was new, it’s likely everything was exciting for the two of you and you made time for each other. You found his smile charming all the time and he used to tell you how attractive your smile is. Cuddles felt like heaven, everything felt new, fresh, and extra romantic, and there's nothing wrong with that. 

Now that time has passed, one way to know if your partner no longer loves you is if you feel like he is always irritated by you. You ask simple questions, and all you receive are harsh and cold responses. Your laugh that used to amuse him now sounds like a disturbance. Suddenly, there's nothing like cuddling time, because he is feeling too hot, itchy, or uncomfortable and needs space

When someone you're dating is annoyed by your presence or the little things you do, it’s a sign that there's a high chance that the relationship no longer feels right to him, and he's already thinking about the end.

3. He Doesn't Make Time For You Or The Relationship

Being in a relationship with someone means you’ve both decided to make the other a priority. Likewise, being a priority in your man’s life is of utmost importance because it determines how well your relationship will thrive when the tempest waves blow. If you realize that something or someone else is becoming more of a priority than you are, that might be a warning sign that the end is near. 

It doesn’t matter how busy your man gets, once he’s decided to be with you, he will make time for small talk, and cuddle time should be set in stone. And when he is no longer into you and the relationship, he begins to create excuses as a means to bring space between you, or he simply turns dawn every date time after time with an explanation attached; it more than likely he'll rather not spend time with you.

4. Text Messages Are Replied To After Eons

Unlike the healthy start, you both had in the relationship, where the two of you texted and replied like you were on a marathon, getting a simple reply from the love of your life has become more of a chore than love life. Also, at the beginning of the relationship, you would both make time to respond to messages. Sadly, all this seems to be changing, and rapidly too. 

No doubt, many relationships go through these changes as the bond matures, and there's nothing wrong with that, but when the lack of effort from on end continues for more extended periods, it should be something to worry about. If your man is continuously disappearing for days at a time, with no space for apologies or remorse, chances are he's mentally and emotionally done with the relationship.

5. He Regularly Jabs You During Arguments

If he does this literally, it’ll be better for you to end the relationship first. Every relationship, be it platonic or romantic, features two people from different homes and backgrounds, with different thinking patterns and experiences. The different upbringing experienced by you and your man means you both come into the relationship with varying ideologies about certain things. 

No doubt, disagreements will ensue, but it's how they're solved that determines your maturity. Are you and your man able to fight fair in such instances? Are your arguments always bent on hurting each other or on moving the relationship forward? If he's still out to attack and destroy you during any dispute, whether physically or verbally, it is one of the major signs he doesn't love you anymore.

6. There’s Nothing Like Intimacy

there's nothing like intimacy

None...at all! As stated in earlier discussions and points, every relationship goes through the lovey-dovey stage and comes out of it too. After the honeymoon phase, it is normal that some people don’t always want to cuddle every time they are with someone they love; others would rather hold hands than a kiss at your favorite bus stop. This is expected every once a while and is normal. 

What isn't normal, however, is when your sex life isn't just dull or less steamy, but practically non-existent. Stopping sex altogether with no legitimate reason is a sign that your man is attracted to another person or is simply not turned on by you anymore. With too much space and a lack of physical intimacy, many relationships die-off in weeks.

7. There’s No Comfort For You When You’re Upset

He may not be a mind reader or soothsayer, but every man knows when something is bothering the love of his life, and when he cares about you, he'll make an effort or find ways to comfort her or will be dying to know why you're so dull and down. 

This is the perk of being in a relationship; you get another person acting as a reliable support system where they make you feel better through harsh storms. You know he's got your back, just as you've got him and that whenever things get tough, there's someone to fall on. 

If your partner doesn't see the necessity to support you with anything anymore, there's no way you're both going to bond emotionally. Sharing problems and the associate support goes a long way to improve intimacy as well; thus, if there's no comfort coming from your man during tough times, it's one of the signs he doesn't love you anymore.

8. Your Needs Don’t Matter To Him Anymore

He was once extra attentive to your needs, and also to the relationship and its needs. All of a sudden, everything is about him and him alone. It might be surprising that cuddle nights are now spent with the boys over a good soccer game and rounds of beers. 

Your man is suddenly showing the sign of a selfish person. He is only thinking about the things he wants, making no effort to please you, whilst also following his ways, and doing what makes him happy; while you sit on the bleachers, wondering where all his love for you went. 

It’s not you, sweetheart; this is all on him. The thing is; the moment he stops becoming that much-needed shoulder, you can cry on, or if he forgets all about your problems, the plans for the relationship and your connection as a couple, the end of your relationship could be very near. This act often leaves you feeling very crazy since you begin to long for something that used to be. 

You watch him take you and the relationship for granted, hurting you, and making you wonder what you did wrong. The answer is simple. It’s a sign that your guy doesn’t love you and may no longer be interested; thus, he's unconsciously taking the relationship for granted.

9. He’s Never Happy With You Anymore 

Another thing is, as humans, we all experience bad moods from time to time; this is entirely normal. It's also widespread in a relationship for partners to go through moments of doldrums, now and again. What's not healthy, however, is if your guy is always angry or temperamental, with no just cause outside the relationship. 

If he's still in a bad mood, with no signs of his attitude improving, chances are his lousy mood is being triggered by the relationship and the fact that he’s still in the same space with you. He might be moody only when he’s with you, finding reasons to smile and laugh the second he’s with his friends or at his job. 

10. All He Wants Is Sex

all he wants is sex

We know, we spoke about sexual intimacy and how one tell-tale sign that your guy isn't interested anymore is when he avoids having sex with you. This point is very sensitive and must be studied carefully. 

Relationships, as I mentioned, involve more than physical attraction and sex. It requires love, the decision to commit, and emotional intimacy. All this happens with or without sex. All these doesn't mean that sex isn't relevant in a relationship; it is!

One of the warning signs is if your relationship is in existence only for the sake of sex. This is a very selfish reason, and as such, it shows that your guy doesn't care for you or vice versa. If he pretends not to care about you, your feelings, and thoughts, but only hints at having sex with you, it is one of the more evident signs he doesn't love you anymore.

11. Always Forgets Essential Events And Dates

It's true that in relationships, girls are more particular about detail. Some of these details may include anniversaries, birthdays, first dates, and many more. Guys may not be as good as girls in this department, but as much as possible, those who love you will try to remember some things, and also try to celebrate them with you no matter how minute they may be.

If he forgets a special day and you remind him, you should sense some form of remorse in his eyes or tine that tells you how much he cares and makes you his priority. If you're a guy's treasure, forgetting things about you will be tough and close to impossible thus, if he doesn't seem to keep any dates or special days in mind, you might not be his soul mate anymore.

12. He Talks Carelessly To You

One sign that your partner doesn't care about you anymore is if he speaks to you without thought or feeling. Careless talk is excruciatingly harsh and unthoughtful. This is one initial sign you will notice, once his feelings begin to wane. It might start with a decline in the way he calls or addresses you, with names like baby, sweetheart, and darling vanishing into thin air. 

Another way to look at the careless talk is if your boyfriend abuses you verbally. That's another form of casual and loose conversation, which makes you aware of his feelings towards you. 

Verbal abuse might involve him telling you all your weaknesses to your face without caring about how that will make you feel. He might start calling you unkind names, making you look like a fool for his benefit. In such instances, it becomes clear that the relationship is on the brink of collapse and doesn’t need some saving anymore.

13. He Doesn't Tell You He Loves You

This used to be the order of the day between you both. The constant I love you’s, and I love you more arguments, which could last into the new year. You never had to guess second how he felt towards you because he always made you aware of his voice and his messages. Now, you're left to question whether or not he still loves you. These questions are bad signs for your relationship and must be addressed.

Any guy who loves you and is in a relationship with you will make time to show it. He shows his enthusiasm about the relationship and is always ready to let you know how he feels. It might not be in the form of a romantic song or a shout from the mountain top, but he will let you know as much as he can, how he can, that you're the love of his life. 

If your guy has stopped saying he loves you or doesn't show it like he used to, that is one of the many signs he doesn't love you anymore.

14. The Relationship Drains You

One of the live wires in every relationship is commitment. It involves everyone in the relationship giving anything physically, emotionally, and even financially, for the relationship to thrive and be successful. One of the signs that your partner doesn't care for you is when you begin to feel exhausted emotionally because you're doing so much to keep your partner, and he doesn't seem to appreciate any of your efforts anymore.

You always worry and think about him, giving up yourself to keep him happy and around for a day, week, or more. Through all this, you still feel like he's not bothered by your efforts and is only moving through the motions. If he cared about you and the relationship, your partner would see the need to contribute to the growth and sustenance of the relationship, without leaving you to labor through. 

Any guy with major love for you will invest as much as he can into the relationship, matching your efforts or even surpassing them.

15. He's Always Busy

he's always busy

And he says this with pride every time, as though you have nothing doing in your life. It might be true that his job demands more from him than yours does, or he may have a lot of problems on his hands such that time whizzes by without him noticing, but anyone who's genuinely into you and in love with you, will find the time to check up on you. Seeking the welfare of the one you love should be effortless and almost natural because chances are, they're on your mind while you work and move around.

Guys are never too busy to check up on girls they really and genuinely care about. With this in mind, if your man can't spare five to ten minutes to check up on you, chances are you're no more a priority in his life. He might be choosing someone else, his career, friends, or a hobby over you. He being busy will be very accurate; he is too busy to care for you, love you, and seek your welfare anymore.

16. He's Never Jealous

You're getting closer to other guys, and your partner hardly notices. Even if he does, he doesn't seem bothered by their presence. You went out with a male friend last night and told your partner about it, expecting him to blow up, and he does nothing. He sees nothing wrong with and shows no form of concern about your closeness to other guys. This is a red flag, honey!

Guys are naturally territorial, and as such, they are always willing to put up a fight for things and someone they care about. If he's not fighting for you, it is possible that he now sees you more like a friend than as his partner. His love might've dissipated with no strings left to attach. 

This means that your man who once loved you doesn't care that much anymore and is willing to say goodbye to what you have. Failure of your man to be curious about the intent of that date with an ex-boyfriend or secret picnic with a workmate is laxity and should never be seen as trust.

17. He Doesn’t Protect You

Besides fighting for you or being territorial, a guy who wants you and sees you in his future will act as your best defense, wherever he may be. It doesn't matter if you're there or not, he's going to be willing to find the death, then have someone run you down and treat you like you’re nothing. This is because he loves and cares for you, passionately. 

It doesn't matter if you're in the wrong, he will do his part and fight for you in public, only reprimanding or offering advice behind closed doors. This is the mark of someone who cares. 

Any partner who doesn't act this protective of you, and is instead the one exposing your dirty linen in public is someone who doesn't love you or has stopped caring for you. He's become indifferent, and as such, this could be the end of the relationship road for the both of you. Protection is one of the great tell-tale signs of love for men; thus, if you feel like this is non-existent, there should be cause for alarm.

18. He Avoids Discussions

Especially discussions about the future of your relationship. Let's say you try to bring such topics up, and your boyfriend only brushes them aside or pretends not to hear you, not wanting to be a part of the discussion. It is a sign he doesn't see a future with you in it. One thing a guy who doesn't care detest is when you try to have in-depth discussions to observe the commitment on both sides.

If your partner is always brushing aside topics about finance, sex, health, and others that go into the working of a relationship, you must be wary of the signs. It is most likely because he's not interested in you that much or simply doesn't care about the relationship anymore.

19. He Doesn't Spend On You Anymore

The direction of your man's income flow will help you know his heart and how much you mean to him. Men who love their women see them as important and, as such, are ever willing to spend anything on them. This spending isn't based on emotions and sentiments, which Is normal for women. The financial generosity of your man towards you goes a long way to show if he cares or not.

If your partner does love you, it doesn't matter how much he has or earns. He will be ever willing to send the little he has on you, even if it's just a bar of chocolate or an ice cream cone. What’s more, he'll do this without a thought, with no form of grumbling or the desire to be paid back. So, if your boyfriend is always waiting to be repaid after spending on you, that is cause for grave alarm.

20. He Doesn’t Treat You As Special Anymore

he doesn't treat you as special anymore

When we love and care for people, we wish them anything they want for themselves, and we have unique strings attached to them. This isn't the case with people we have no deep relationship with. If your boyfriend relates to you differently than he used to, seeing you as more of a friend than his special person, chances are he doesn't feel the same way anymore. 

He might be wary of the both of you holding hands, or might stop you from hugging him in public. These are tell-tale signs that he doesn't want any deep relationship with you anymore. No doubt, if your partner still loves and cares for you, he's not going to treat you the same way he treats his casual friend, even a stranger he just met. He will have unique signs for you and relate to you much differently.

21. He Stops Calling First

You're now the only one in the relationship, calling first if at all. He's stopped taking initiatives as he used to, leaving you to do all the groundwork for your relationship to move forward. When a guy calls first, it shows how original and natural his feelings are towards you. It also shows that he thinks about you, and he still cares for you.

Also, once a guy is in a relationship, he finds it hard to pretend about his feelings effectively. You've seen him for who he is, and he's exceptionally vulnerable with you. As the affection wanes, this changes, and in time he might start ignoring your calls

Even when he does pick up, his voice lacks the usual enthusiasm and aggressive it once held when he knew you were the one on the other side of the call. Once you realize this, you can either choose to fight for what once was, or watch him drift further away from you.

22. He's More Affectionate To Other Girls

Boyfriends who respect their girlfriends, love, and care for them are mindful of how they relate to other girls in her presence. They know the best distance to keep, and also manage their affection towards them. This is done to show respect and also to reassure their girl she’s the only one for them. 

Guys may indeed have a lot of female friends, but when their affection becomes more of a habit than a one-off action, the signs shouldn’t be ignored. Flirting openly with other girls is an intentional act that has been well thought of and, as such, mustn't be downplayed. 

He might be doing this to hurt you or push you away or, even worse, want you to break up with him. This is common when the guy is no longer interested in the relationship anymore and wishes to move on.

23. He Makes No Sacrifices For The Relationship

He probably used to when the relationship was new and at its emotional peak. There's no limit to the level of sacrifice a guy in love is willing to make, especially when he cares passionately about you. Just by studying how much sacrifice a man is ready to make for you, you can accurately guess how much you mean to him. It is for this reason that the lack of sacrifices implies a lack of interest and care.

A partner who doesn't love or care for his woman thinks of himself first, and sometimes, no one else comes second. The first and only thing on his mind is himself, and he makes it very evident with every opportunity. When a guy starts showing you his selfish side, it is time to consider those signs and re-evaluate - if indeed he's into you.

24. He Wants Nothing You Give Him

he wants nothing you give him

And this even includes those cute gifts you love getting him randomly. When a guy loses interest in you, he also loses interest in everything about and around you. He'll, in turn, stop accepting gifts and efforts you make to keep him happy, mainly to prevent himself from feeling guilty (again with the selfishness). Receiving your gifts may cause him to feel obligated to you, which Is something a guy who doesn't care will hate.

If you want to ascertain how a guy feels like towards you, keep buying him gifts, and study his reactions to those gifts. If he's over the moon, he still cares about your feelings and you as a person. If not, it’ll be a good idea to say goodbye because he doesn’t appreciate you anymore.

25. You Stop Meeting His Friends

When a guy meets the girl he loves and cares for, he loves to show her off to his friends and associates. It’s a natural thing done to show the world how much they care about you, and also that they’re ready and willing to settle down with you when the time is right. This happens almost unexpectedly, as it’s not something every girl goes asking for. 

If your man wants to keep your relationship a secret for no particular reason, he might not be as caring as you think. Relationships that are kept secret are kept that way usually when they're not genuine. Keeping them a secret means you can also run away without any public disgust or hurt family members. 

This sign, however, can be very tricky as your guy can show you to the whole world and still not be genuine. This is when the other signs he doesn't love you anymore come to play, to help you decipher which side he is.

26. He's Not Bothered About The Future

How interested is your partner in what becomes of you in the future? This goes a long way to show how much he cares and loves you. A partner with the future in mind is sure to bring it up in conversation, raising some issues that you might experience and searching for a solution. It might be questions about your assignments or exams, and even life after college. In dire situations, he won't hesitate to encourage you to never settle for less.

In relationships, this is very common because each party wants to see the other win. One success belongs to both people, and as such, they work together to ensure that no one is left behind. A partner whose maxim is here and now, with no interest in what the future holds, isn't interested in you. These are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, is inherently selfish, and doesn’t love you.

27. He Doesn’t Respect You Anymore

There are two ways respect exists in a relationship, whether as a product of love or as an obligation. People in relationships respect each other because of the love they share; thus, when that love wanes, the respect follows suit. 

When a guy doesn't love you anymore, you can sense the lack of sincerity in his words, and the struggle he goes through to accord you the respect he so willingly offered while his love was intact. In time, such a partner will start taking unilateral decisions because he hardly values your opinion.

28. He Starts Cheating

he starts cheating

Yes, he does! After all, he doesn't care about you anymore! Cheating with women can be a mistake, a case of drunken nights, and wrong consent, but the reaction of a cheating partner after the entire ordeal determines your place in his life. Your boyfriend's attitude to his mistake will reveal whether or not cheating was planned or unintentional. 

If he really cares about you, remorse will be effortless, as will his will to make things right with you. When he shows no concern for his actions, it means he doesn't care enough to feel responsible to you; as such, this is one of the signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

29. He Is Abusive

We spoke about verbal abuse, but the physical abuse is just as serious a sign that your partner doesn't care anymore. When you love, cherish and care for anything, you make sure not to abuse it no matter what. Imagine the relationship between a man and his car. 

He loves it, cleaning and fussing over it every chance he gets, it's lovely. If a man treats his car better than he does you, to the extent that he lays a finger on you, you might be better off without him. He's shown clearly that he wants nothing to do with it, and that he doesn't appreciate your existence.

30. He’s Using The Avoidance Tactic

In an environment where there's love, couples want to spend time with each other because it brings them happiness. The avoidance tactic is simple. If your man is making up excuses so as not to see you or spend time with you, it might be because he doesn't care as much anymore.

Emotional and physical intimacy is essential for relationships, as they strengthen the bond and bring those involved closer than ever before. The lack of this bond causes a lot of issues in the long run. If he's avoiding spending time with you, talking to you, or seeing you, it is one of the signs he doesn't love you anymore.

FAQ

How do you know when a man doesn't love you?

Isolation and separation are two significant signs he doesn’t love you anymore. These are signs of an unhealthy relationship; thus, if you feel like your husband or boyfriend wants to keep your relationship a secret, it means he doesn't love or care for you. Such men will do everything possible to keep you away from family and friends such that when there's a breakup, the effects are reduced.

How do you test a guy to see if he loves you?

Does he still love me? How will I know? If you wish to test your partner you have to look out for all the signs he doesn’t love you. Also, to find out if he loves you, pay attention to the way he talks. Listen intently, to find out if he sees a future with you, and if he's decided you're the one he wants to spend his life with. He might talk ten years into the future, asking or wondering how your children will look like, and where your honeymoon will take place.

How do you know he doesn't care about you?

Any man who doesn't care about you anymore will ignore you any chance he gets. Also, he doesn't find dates and events relevant, always leaving you to fight for the relationship. Such a guy doesn't mind the way he addresses you and is only ever-ready for sex and nothing more intimate.

How do guys act when they are in love?

When guys are in love, they become emotional and vulnerable. They obsess over their newfound love, showing her off to friends and family. They also don't mind spending on her or simply listening to her rant about her day. When a guy is in love, he's willing to sacrifice for you and the relationship, always ready to put you first.

How do you tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you?

Any guy who has feelings for you, but is confused about them always feels insecure around you. He might also act anxious every time you're around, simply because he has no idea how best to react to you. His mind goes into overdrive, and with the myriad of emotions coursing through his veins, he's unstable emotionally. It's a charming sight.

To Conclude

Any guy who doesn't care for you or love you anymore stops making an effort. He gets complacent in the relationship and allows that complacency to settle until finally there's no relationship to revive. To save yourself from heartache and stress, be mindful of these signs he doesn't love you anymore, and take the first step in leaving before it's too late. 

I hope you loved reading this and that at least one sign or two will go a long way to help you (or that friend you share it with) decipher the odd language of men.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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