23+ Signs A Man Is In Love With You But Scared

by April Maccario

Humans are extremely complex creatures but guys take the trophy, they say women are the complicated ones, but I beg to differ. You may feel the same if you’re dating a hot and cold guy that seems to love you, but with all the mixed signals flying around, it’s hard to tell. You find yourself asking “does he want a relationship?”. 

Well, the good news is that you're not alone, your relationship is one in many where the guy is scared to admit how much he loves his girl. While you can’t tell what a man is thinking, there are some signs that can tell if your man really has feelings for you, and is just too scared to admit it. There’s more than one reason he may be hiding his feelings for you, and until you figure that out, you may not get the answers and love you deserve.

Research shows that a connection between love and fear is developed after we have been through negative experiences. Guys may show this level of ambivalence because they have been hurt in the past. You might not have much insight into his dating history but observations and conversations will help you understand why he is having difficulty embracing his romantic feelings.

The reasons are inexhaustible, but whatever it is, these are the signs that a guy likes you, but is just scared to show it or tell you.

24 Signs He Likes You But Is Afraid Of Rejection

1. He acts nervously around you

He acts nervously around you

Ever been in a job interview you wanted so badly but your nerves are seriously at war? That might just be how this man feels; scared, unsure, and cautious. There are some tell-tale signs that show when a guy is acting nervous around you; sweaty palms, talking too much or contributing very little, and even fiddling. 

A man is taught to be brave, bold, and most of them actually are, so whenever they find themselves in such uncomfortable situations, they tend to withdraw. Of course, they withdraw to get a hold of themselves, plan better, and return with a better decorum. Manly men like this aren’t used to having their words all fumbled up, or their feelings in a knot, and it confuses them more than it drives them, that’s why it may seem like he’s withdrawing from the relationship.

2. He avoids defining the relationship

You’ve been together for some months now but he still hasn’t taken the bold step to ask you out, defines whatever it is you guys are doing, or even put a label on things. He acts like he really likes you and wants to be with you, but he’s not saying anything about being your husband, fiancee, or even boyfriend. At this point, he may feel like he doesn’t want to overcomplicate what both of you already have, so there’s no need to put labels on the relationship. 

This is one of the signs that he may have feelings for you but is too scared to admit or process them. Maybe he feels he jumped into his last relationship too fast or feels that you both need to get to know each other more first. Whatever it is, let him have his space for a while and try not to push him to put a label on things, forcing him to commit right away might end up chasing him away.

3. His friends do not ask you out

I have come to realize that guys are generally chasers, and very competitive when it comes to relations with the opposite sex. They take no fault in another guy asking out a girl they might be talking to as long as it’s nothing serious. 

Girls on the other hand would not appreciate that, so if his friends keep it casual with you and are generally friendly then he must have told them how much he likes you and ordered them to back off. They are all aware you’re his girl and would not want to cross that boundary in any way.

4. You catch him staring

It is rather sweet when you catch a guy staring at you, there’s a softness in his eyes that comes close to amazement, almost like how our mothers stare at us sometimes. Whether you’re sitting on the sofa watching TV or working on your computer or even carrying out a mundane task, you may catch him occasionally staring at you. 

That’s one of the signs that shows how much he likes you, a man won’t keep his eyes on you if he doesn’t find you attractive, exciting, and maybe even a little mysterious. Staring is a strong sign that a guy has feelings for you, wants more than a friendship, and is very attracted to you. 

If you catch him staring and he focuses on something else quite quickly, it simply means he is trying to hide his feelings by averting his gaze. A guy will always stare at the woman who is on his mind. 

5. He appears jealous and tries to hide it

When you like someone, you do not want them to spend time or constantly talk to other people. You realize that it can easily get you frustrated and angry, jealousy, however, is not renowned for being a perfect emotion and can, therefore, turn toxic

He might not talk about how he feels but expressions should never be disregarded when trying to figure out if he really likes you. You might also notice a change in his demeanor when you mention someone else, or a false aloofness when talking about your favorite celebrity crush, make sure you observe him when having such conversations.

More so, if a man is in the relationship just for one thing, he’s never going to get jealous of your extensive talk with the barman or even a colleague from work. Once he starts displaying signs of jealousy, there is no doubt he is into you.

6. He blows hot and cold

Is he present today, all hyped up about you being amazing, and tomorrow he’s back in his room hibernating on his feelings? Yep, he’s giving off the mixed signals, this has to be one of the most frustrating mind wrecking signs because it leaves you wondering if he likes you or not. It’s possible you guys had an amazing day, he went home and you didn’t hear back from him for three days. Communication plummets and in some cases, he doesn’t reply to your messages. You decide to focus on you and out of the blues he resurfaces again, it’s a pattern well known to us. 

I believe guys do this to put themselves in check and take control of the reins again because they feel they might be losing control. I believe in the saying that women are from Venus and men from Mars because it is hard for girls to understand this action, however, give him some time to figure things out, pushing him might scare him away.

7. He listens to you and pays attention

He listens to you and pays attention

Whenever you are with him, he is present and pays attention to everything you are saying and doing. He is even able to make reference to it in the future, he knows your favorite meal, how you like your eggs, your worst vegetable, something you said you really wanted, and your birthday. 

I have been with guys who could not care less to remember my surname so it is clear that if he pays attention, he has feelings for you. He also listens when you talk and picks up the little things. Whenever you share a problem, he assures you by letting you know he is always there to support you, make sure you’re also there to support him as a relationship is a two-way street.

8. He avoids talking about his feelings

People say that when you talk about something, it becomes real. He doesn’t talk about his feelings because he is scared of what the reality is, so he hides from it. This is a sign that he is fighting his feelings for you. Girls are super lovers and are ready to jump into a relationship as soon as they meet the right guy

Guys are a bit different, they have feelings for you but will press their brakes a number of times for fear that it might be moving too fast, or sometimes, they are simply too scared to commit. Some guys generally have difficulties expressing how they feel, it might not have anything to do with you, they just find it difficult to talk about romantic feelings with a person they like. It takes them time to relax and express themselves.

9. He’s been heartbroken a number of times and expresses it

We all have been heartbroken a number of times, it might not have to be from a romantic relationship, it could be your best friend betraying you or when you lose a job. Whatever it is, it’s a traumatic feeling that we do not want to associate with.

The more feelings he develops for you, the more it reminds him of the hurt he experienced in his past relationships. As women, we might feel that he is not over his ex but that is not necessarily the case.

Talking about it might be a good sign because it means the man is trying to heal and move on. Whenever this happens we should realize that he needs time to heal. So don’t worry too much, it’s just a normal human reaction to trauma. Take time to listen to his stories and understand what hurt him.

10. He is generous with compliments

This is one sign we cannot deny, when a guy likes you, he dishes out compliments so easily and mostly because everything about you amazes him. He is quick to comment on how lovely your hair, dress, or makeup is, even if you might not think it’s exceptional. Sometimes these compliments are soft and subtle because he is trying to be careful with what he says just to avoid awkward moments. If he likes you, he will compliment you.

11. He spends time with you

Someone that likes you would always want to spend time with you, one day wouldn’t be enough to hang out, and it would show. He would always want to be around you because he enjoys your company and it makes him feel good. It is a normal reaction, we always want to be around people we like, it releases happy hormones, and makes us feel a certain way.

He would sit next to you at a social gathering, he would always position himself next to you at parties claiming his territory. He might talk with his friends for a bit but he always finds his way back to you, he does these things unconsciously. No matter how busy his schedule is, he would always squeeze out time to chill with you, this is a sign that he really likes you.

12. He is a problem-solver

When a guy likes you, he wants to do everything within his power to solve your problems. As long as it is within his capacity, he is willing to help. You also know that he is a reliable person to call on and would have no doubt that he would move mountains just to assist. 

He wants to be a superman for you, and if you let him, he’ll come flying to the rescue every time you have an issue. This shows that you mean something to him, men have a natural instinct to be protective of the people that matter to them, and this shows in more than one way. So if you observe that he has assumed the ‘Mr problem-solver role’ and is quick to push you to the other side of the road so cars don’t hit you, it must be love.

13. He introduces you to his family and friends

While he hesitates to talk to you about commitment and is scared to express how he feels, guys generally find it easy to talk to their friends. If his friends know, he may let them tease him when your not around, but try to shut them up when you all hang out together, remember, he’s still scared of admitting his feelings, directly or indirectly. 

One of the major signs he wants a relationship but is too scared to admit it is when he starts introducing you to his close family and friends. A guy who is not interested in you would keep you away from friends and family. A guy that talks to his friends about you is undoubtedly interested, and maybe thinks your the right girl for him.

The friends always know what and who matters to him, if he goes on to introduce you to his family, he has long term plans. He might not be expressing his emotions but you can be sure he wants you in his life.

14. His body language shows it

His body language shows it

He might be able to hide his feelings, but thankfully there’s this thing called body language and it can be read. What a win, this ‘language’ can be much louder than words sometimes. If a guy likes you, there are a number of signs that his body could reveal. It could be him being close to you at social gatherings, stretching his hand across your shoulder, ‘accidentally’ brushing against your arms, tugging at his hair, or even sitting with his legs apart opposite you. 

Psychologists also say that when we stare at people that we love, our pupils dilate. I guess that’s something to look out for when next you guys are having a conversation.

15. He wants to get to know you

If a guy wants to get to know you, it shows he has an interest in you. He wants to know personal stories about you, stories about your family, things you have been through, what makes you tick, and more. He’s asking because he cares, and is trying to see where he fits in your life, do not hesitate to ask him questions as well. 

Sometimes a man won’t know how to express certain emotions that he feels, men are taught to be strong, be the provider, and show no sign of weakness. This, kind of, hinders them from fully expressing their feelings, women on the other hand are quite decisive and expressive when it comes to matters of the heart. 

Unfortunately, it is not easy to ask someone you're dating how he feels about you out rightly. You have to observe painstakingly, so if he’s always asking questions about your life and acting very interested in your affairs, that might be one sign he does actually like you.

16. He takes you out on dates

When a man likes you, he’ll love taking you out on dates, it doesn’t matter how much it costs to wine and dine with you, cause he loves your company. Trust me, dates will be out of the picture if he doesn’t like you, the only dates you would be having would be on his couch. 

Guys like to take the women they like to fancy places, they want to be able to admire you and prove themselves as providers by paying for the bill. Any dinner or party he has been invited to, best believe you would be going with him. This action speaks volumes as it signals to other females that he is not single but taken.

17. Text messages

Is he texting you during the day, wanting to know how your day is going and what you’re up to? It shows he is interested and wants to know what’s happening with you. A guy who likes you will like to know how you are at different points in the day and would ask if you are available to grab breakfast, lunch, or dinner. 

Guys can be nonchalant with their mobile devices sometimes, they could be occupied with playing games and forget to respond to messages, however, if he cares about you, he would probably put more effort into sending and replying to messages. 

18. He is very courteous

He literally doubles up to hold the door of a building for you, he opens the car door for you as well. He is also particular about ladies going first when both of you go out, all that chivalry shows that you matter to him. Let’s be honest ladies, most relationships don’t come with chivalry in the package anymore. So if he does this continuously after the first date then there is no doubt he is falling for you.

19. He does not talk about other women

He might not have made the first move or put a label on the relationship but its exclusivity is clear. He loves you and would like to see only you, he does not talk about other women because there are no other women he is interested in and he’s trying to respect you. It is easy for people to misunderstand actions.

20. He gives you thoughtful gifts

When we love someone we tend to pay attention to what they say they need, we seize any opportunity we get to provide that need. It might be as small as a key holder for your bunch of keys, or a bulb for your hallway, or a bracelet he thinks you would like. Giving gifts are expressions of love and care, if he is giving you thoughtful gifts then you matter to him. Guys do not go around gifting every girl except the ones with bad intentions.

21. He jokes about you two ending up together

He jokes about you two ending up together

We have all had one friend who would make jokes about getting together with us. Sometimes it’s shrouded in a pact promising to end up together if you aren’t both married at a certain age. Guys don’t do that with people they don’t like, he might be throwing it in as a joke to weigh your response because he’s too scared to ask you out directly.

If your response is negative, he knows to take some steps back into his cocoon, but if it’s positive, he just might push the boundaries a bit further. We need to be intentional with our responses because it determines if he moves ahead or takes some steps back. Guys are cautious about rejection and would tread carefully until they are quite sure you are both on the same page.

22. He vaguely talks about the future

This might be a bit confusing, he refuses to talk about commitments but might casually mention a few futuristic plans with both of you in the picture. He might be testing the waters to see how comfortable you are with the idea. 

I once dated a guy who outrightly wouldn’t talk about commitment and labels but encouraged me once to apply for the Canada PR so we would relocate together. Anytime I brought up us taking a vacation together, he would be slightly interested and then deflect to something else, hesitating to take that next step shows he’s still skeptical and scared of what that would mean.

23. He watches your favorite TV shows

Suddenly he has taken an interest in the TV shows you like to talk about and when you talk about it, he contributes to the conversation. Guys do this to have more common ground with you, if he does this, it’s more apparent he likes you. 

Guys often shroud their intentions for you with activities they know you would like. It’s a way of breaking the ice whenever they are with you and also to show they are interested in getting to know you.

24. You just know he likes you

It’s a feeling you can’t just shake off, regardless of all the mixed signals and hushed feelings, you know he loves you from the way he looks at you to the things he goes out of his way to do for you. Our instincts are mostly right, of course, sometimes our emotions fail us, it is important to apply rational thinking and be sure you are not just feeling things that aren’t there, it will save you a lot of heartaches.

FAQs

How do you test a guy to see if he really loves you?

No matter how much we try to hide it, true love always shows in our actions and body language. If a guy loves you, he would want to be around you all the time. If he can’t be around you as much as he would want, he would ensure he communicates with you just to show you are dear to him. Every action towards you would be loving and intentional, it’s a feeling and you would know when he genuinely loves you.

How do you know if a man is hiding his feelings?

Sometimes men are scared to express how they feel probably because they fear the love might not be reciprocated or because they have been hurt in past relationships. He would always find an opportunity to be around you, it’s great when you’re together, but then he disappears for a while with no trace; no calls or messages. It’s probably because he loves you but is overwhelmed and scared to show it.

How does a man act when he is falling in love?

Men are not like women who fall in love easily, they are not super lovers so it’s quite easy to tell when a guy is falling in love. From the way he looks at you to him being protective and wanting to be your ‘superhero’. 

He would also get jealous of the other guys around you. All in all, he would be very supportive, pay attention to the little details, carry your heavy bags, and open your doors. These little details show that there’s a lot more going on in his head than he’s letting out.

How do you know if a man is serious about you?

If a man is serious about you, he would cut to the chase and let you know. They do this to get ahead of other ‘suitors’ that may be lurking. Yes, his actions will show that he is really interested in you but he would not be afraid of commitment and would be able to express how he feels.

How do you know if a guy is deeply in love with you?

Guys get excited when they love someone, you can tell by how happy they are around you. You catch them staring at you from time to time. They always want to do things that make you happy. At the same time, they like to be in control of how they feel so it’s always an innate struggle to repel the emotion but they always end up losing. It’s so cute when they try though.

On The Whole,

There you have it, ladies, 24 signs a man is in love with you but a bit scared to admit it. You can apply this and start putting the puzzle together to take your relationship to the next level.

If you are sure he likes you, you can make the first move and see what his reaction would be. I would love to hear your thoughts so please leave your comments down below. If you enjoyed reading this article, kindly share it as well.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

One comment on “23+ Signs A Man Is In Love With You But Scared”

  1. So I've been seeing this guy for a while and he shows over more then half of these signs. However, I told him I loved him before he went 2 states away on a hunting trip and when he got to his destination he told me the next day that we probably wouldnt be hanging out with each other much longer which lead me to believe he was talking to someone else. Then the next day and the 7 days that followed he stayed in my inbox constantly. But he says we are only friends 🤷‍♀️. Which really hurts my feelings of course. Maybe it's the 16 year age difference that is holding him back and maybe the fact that his parents and I dont exactly see eye to eye, his friends like me tho. Men are definitely complicated. So with such little detail what's your take on all this?

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