Although few and far between there are some guys who just never invested time into the opposite sex. Or maybe these are the ‘nice’ guys that girls have always looked over before.
Fortunately, it’s pretty obvious when a guy has never had a girlfriend. They practically reek of 'first time boyfriend'. And if you are their first girlfriend, you’re going to need to know these signs, so that you can teach him, and give him the experience he may need.
Guys are not like females. I feel like I say this in almost every article, but it is just the truth. By design, females instincts help her figure out naturally what a man may like, or what he doesn’t like. Even first-time girlfriends are able to learn how to be a 'good' one relatively quickly.
But men are primal, and most of them just don’t get it without being taught. So here are a few things that you can keep an eye out to spot those 'relationship virgins'.
When a guy has more female friends than males, they are probably one of those nice guys you’ve heard about. The ones who always have been friend-zoned, and he’s 'like a brother' to his female companions.
Lucky for you, however, chances are, he’s not into any of them and if he is, they aren’t into him. Even luckier for you, is girls usually give good advice on how to treat a girlfriend right. So don’t be insecure about his female horde of sister-friends.
If the dates he takes you on are a little off-kilter or underwhelming then the chances are your man has never had a girlfriend. And even though it is important to keep an open mind about any kind of date, if he takes you to a monster truck show premiere of the last movie of the Fast and Furious when you’re more of a wine and candles kind of girl, then he might have no clue what he’s doing.
Men who go on dates have moves. And finesse. And they are able to carry on conversations. A new guy who is trying to get to know you and get to know how to date for the first time might not be so smooth. If the conversation is sporadic, with silences, or uncomfortable fidgeting, or rushed moments, he has no experience and he may need your help keeping things going.
Most people are not good at communicating in the first place. And guys who have never had a girlfriend are even worse. They expect a quick short conversation, a one and done deal, or completely lack the ability to acknowledge how you feel. And it will get frustrating, the important thing is to remember to communicate clearly with him, and teach him that girls need acknowledgment, among many other things.
It doesn’t matter if your needs are sexual, emotional, mental, or physical. A guy who has never had a girlfriend will not understand your needs.
You can’t expect a guy, especially one who has never had a serious relationship before to not understand them unless you spell it out in green Crayola crayon for him. You have to make sure you convey your feelings clearly for everyone, but especially your relationship virgin boyfriend. Communication is so important for every relationship.
In the history of forever, unless a girl flat out explains that she is a beer drinker - no man ever has ever offered a beer instead of wine. Or at least a cocktail. But a guy who has never had to worry about what girls like for their drink might not know that.
In fact, they probably never took the time to think about it. Forgive your dating newbie, he doesn’t know any better.
Guys who have never had a girlfriend have a tendency to be clueless. About pretty much everything. And no one ever said men are good at reading between the lines anyway. So when he misses the opportunity when you ask him if he likes that perfume you’re wearing, or when you step closer to him so he might put his arm around you, or any of your other little tricks to get him to touch you, don’t feel rejected if he misses it. Just try a more straight forward approach.
If a man who has never had a relationship experience might not appreciate the value of the time you spend together. He may want to spend too much time with you, or he may not spend enough.
Either way, confront the issue straight forward, don’t sugar coat it. Remember, he doesn’t know these things, and it’s going to take some time to teach him about having an intimate relationship with other people...other than himself.
Unless he’s one of those guys that grew up with a mama that taught him to appreciate good food, or he just likes to cook in general, most men who have never had a girlfriend just don’t know how to cook. Unless they’ve heard girls talk about how sexy it is to see a man in the kitchen, most single guys are microwave and take out champs. Learning to cook is just not most guy’s first priority.
Does his room lack a nightstand? Are you wondering where the couch big enough to snuggle on is? Does he only have a comfy recliner in his living room, and maybe a few chairs for his buddies to sit on when they come over to have a drink?
Fancying up the bachelor pad is not something you see a lot of single guys do - except when it comes to their gaming station. If there is literally nowhere to cuddle but the bed - he’s not used to having an intimate relationship with people.
A guy with no girlfriend for an extended period of time probably doesn’t have hobbies that include a lot of girls. Like fishing, or Nascar, or monster trucks, or tractor pulling. Mind you, I knew plenty of women enjoy those things mentioned, but they are predominantly male hobbies. So maybe in their spare time, they don’t get a lot of opportunities to meet people of the opposite sex.
Have you ever heard that too much of a good thing is a bad thing? Well, it’s true when romance is involved.
A man with little to no experience with the opposite sex can often find themselves being the brunt of frustration depending on if they are either to extra in their wooing or not extra enough. Women don’t like to be smothered, but we don’t like to feel unacknowledged either, and usually, it takes some learning for a man to get it right.
While there are plenty of males out there who are in touch with their feminine side, men who lack any knowledge about girly things can be safely labeled as 'relationship newbie'.
Guys who know women know that it’s important to watch Princess Bride at least once, how vital it is to know all of the Disney Princesses and their character growth and character development over time, and YES we have to do our hair and makeup before we leave the house - but not for them but for ourselves.
Men who lack understanding and knowledge of these feminine things didn’t have any sisters… and have probably stayed single for a long while.
Single men have more time to learn how to own and destroy in their favorite video games. Men who put time into the opposite sex on a regular basis know that we demanding female creatures don’t allow entirely too much time for that (unless we’re gamers ourselves) with our never-ending need to be loved on and paid attention to.
If his biggest accomplishment is winning every single achievement in Halo, chances are he hasn’t been with a lot of girls.
Did he order lemony garlic salmon and then leans in for a smooch on the first date? He’s a newbie. Did he think that for some reason you would enjoy donating blood or volunteering to pick up trash on the side of the road instead of taking you to dinner to a quiet place to get to know you? Maybe he mentioned sex? These are all signs he is terribly inexperienced about dating. Period.
While the point of dating is to get to know one another, every woman knows that a man who talks about himself or the things he does too much is just nerve-wracking. And annoying. And may invoke the feeling that he could be vain or shallow.
If you don’t know each other very well, it’s hard to tell if they are full of themselves, or just trying to impress you. Either way, he isn’t aware the conversation needs to be two-sided, and you should probably tell him - nicely of course.
Is everything that comes out of his mouth astrophysics? Or some other impressive topic that you know literally nothing about? Does his vocabulary stick out like a home-schooled thumb? Does he use big words casually as if it is normal to be using words that most people have to google? As sexy as a smart man is, chances are if your guy is a geek or nerd, chances are he’s been overlooked by the opposite sex. Not that they don’t deserve a chance - because nothing is sexier than intelligence.
If you say: "What are you looking for in a relationship?" The correct answer would be something along the lines of commitment, a family, someone to settle down with… there are literally tons of correct answers. The wrong answer and the answer you can pick up on a red flag as to whether this guy is 'in it to win it' with you or has had experience with relationships is: "Oh...I don’t really know."
Guys do think about these things on their own time. However many of them who never dreamed of being in a relationship tend to focus on planning other things like their career or their parents. A guy who doesn’t know what he wants could more than likely be very new to the concept of ‘serious relationship.’
Men who have never had a girlfriend will make the mistake of wanting full-on commitment too early. Or they will be very hesitant because they’ve never wanted a serious relationship before. The idea of having a girlfriend with either scare them or excite them. So be on the lookout for the commitment trigger.
With patience and communication. Dating is a skill that is learned over time, even if you are experienced at it. You have to teach someone who has never dated before the value of communication, honesty, inclusion, and friendship.
There are a lot of things you will notice if a man seems inexperienced. He might seem shy and anxious or overwhelming. If a guy is inexperienced at dating, he will display the obvious signs of being outside of his comfort zone, and he may even be nervous to initiate a further connection with you. Take the time to open and honest, and communicate your feelings and interest plainly.
If you are a guy who is seemingly unable to catch a partner, then there could be some issues within yourself. Either you’re not putting yourself out there, or there is something about you that just isn’t attractive to a lot of females. There could be a lot of reasons why - but most likely you are just not trying hard enough to put yourself on the market. And you should be a little bit more obvious if you aren’t.
It is 2020, the 21st century. It is more than okay, in fact, it is socially acceptable for men to be terminally single nowadays. In this day and age, there is a lot going on, and in fact, the age of average first marriages between people is rising. Focus on what matters to you, and love will come when it is supposed to.
A person who makes it to the age of 20 or older who has not experienced a serious romantic relationship.
How experienced were you and your significant other when you two began to date? Did you find your one-and-done? Or have you had to fish a few times out of the pond? Tell us your romance stories in the comments below - and don’t forget to share it with your friends.