How To Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety (7+ Sexy Ways)

by April Maccario

Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable, it’s the perfect way for you and your partner to bond and explore intimacy in the relationship. However, for some, it has become more of a chore and not a special sexual experience. There’s no way you and your sexual partner will have fun, talk-less of reaching orgasm when there’s sexual anxiety. 

What’s more, anxiety performance can affect the entire experience because one partner is more worried about how he looks or how he’ll perform, those strong emotions and feelings will end up messing up the sexual experience. 

Sex isn’t just physical, it involves emotions and a mental connection as well, but once the mind is distracted by other pressures and burdens, there’s no way this won’t affect your sex life. When this continues to happen, it practically turns into a sexual dysfunction; this is when an issue occurs during intercourse and prevents the couple from reaching orgasm.

8 Ways To Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

Sexual dysfunction issues could stem from external factors like work, family pressure, or simply life taking its toll every now and then, but it could also be caused by internal factors such as low self-esteem, poor body images, and other mental concerns about poor performance.

No matter what it is, it’s not the end of the world, you can pick yourself up and work out ways to revive every sexual experience and put the spice in your sex life again. 

1. Stop worrying

Many men find themselves falling into an anxiety cycle and although it is expected that your man might experience sexual disappointment once in a while, when the occurrence becomes consistent, then you can become concerned. 

The most established symptoms of sexual anxiety include the inability to have or maintain an erection, otherwise known as erectile dysfunction or ED. Other symptoms include premature ejaculation and inability to climax.

If your partner is focusing too much on the outcome of sex, it takes away the fun and natural flow that makes the couple enjoy the experience in the first place. You can help him shift focus to the positive things you both possess sexually while encouraging him to enjoy the movement and stop overthinking things.

2. Get professional help

Get professional help

It is important that you encourage your man to seek help if this anxiety continues to occur more frequently or when every other thing you try fails. It is also better to visit a medical professional for help sooner than later because he will learn effective techniques that will help him reduce negative thoughts, fear, and stress that triggers anxiety. 

Apart from the psychological factors, visiting a physician helps you to eliminate the possibility of underlying medical conditions that may be responsible for the dysfunction. Such conditions could include heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, alcohol or drug abuse, and high cholesterol. 

After eliminating or addressing possible health concerns, you will both know what solutions to go for. Once you and your partner get over the initial embarrassment about your sexual performance issues, discussing with an expert will be a helpful step towards getting it right in the bedroom. 

3. Practice healthy living (diet)

Like most other things in life, healthy living plays a major role in helping you overcome or control anxiety.  When you eat well and blood flows to the necessary parts of the body, there may be fewer concerns in the bedroom. Although diet is not an instant solution to this issue, when it’s made a normal part of life, it will help reduce the occurrence of performance anxiety. 

A major effect of sexual performance anxiety is erectile dysfunction and this means blood isn’t flowing well to the penis to make it turgid for sex. Nutritious foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes can help to improve blood flow to every part of your body, the penis inclusive.

Some of the foods that may help with proper blood circulation to the penis include:

  • Fruits rich in antioxidants, example, blueberries help to lower the risk of infections and high blood pressure 
  • Vegetables rich in folate, for example, spinach, which helps to boost testosterone levels.
  • Foods rich in Vitamin B-12, for example, fermented soy-based tempeh which assists with bodily functions including boosting erectile health.

Asides what to eat, there are foods you and your man shouldn’t eat, these are foods with high fatty contents, processed or fried/greasy foods. These foods increase the risk of heart conditions, high blood pressure, and diabetes which are conditions that actively affect overall wellbeing and sexual performance. 

4. Do some exercise

There’s a study that suggests that when a man is physically inactive, it can affect erectile function and sexual performance. Therefore, staying active is beneficial for not just overall well-being but for sexual performance too.

Daily exercise for only 20 minutes can go a long way in helping to improve blood circulation while keeping him more fit and healthy. Encourage your man to create time for short walks, jogs, or increased intensity workouts. Yoga is also a good physical workout that can aid blood circulation to penile tissues and help to increase libido levels.

5. Get some good quality rest

Rest is a great stress reliever seeing as lack of rest is a major cause for stress. Sleep apnea including other sleep disorders have been said to increase the risk of sexual performance anxiety leading to erectile dysfunction.

Another effect of lack of sleep or rest is a plaque in the arteries or atherosclerosis which can affect blood circulation, making it more difficult to have or maintain an erection. Visiting a therapist or doctor is a good option as they will be able to prescribe techniques or medication that will help with sleeping and of course resting.

6. Introduce sex enhancers

Sex toys like handheld vibrators, and penis rings, can help to stimulate the penis for your man. Butt plugs can also be a super-effective enhancer to get you and your man in the mood, especially if erectile dysfunction is an issue.

Medications like Viagra are also options that have worked for many men. If you have tried other things that didn’t work, consider visiting your doctor who might prescribe Viagra. Viagra takes about 30 minutes to kick in and should help your man get hard, plus, its effects last for four to five hours.

Another option is a Vacuum Device which helps to mechanically produce an erection for men who are unable or unwilling to use medications.

The vacuum pumps the penis and makes it rigid by drawing blood to the penis. This method doesn’t always work out for every man because it appears too technical. You can still give it a try though.

The last resort for every man is surgical treatment such as penile implants and vascular surgery.  The former involves enlarging the penis surgically while the latter involves correcting blood vessels causing erectile dysfunction.

7. Change sexual tactics

Change sexual tactics

Sometimes the problem is not medical conditions or even distractions, sometimes sexual performance anxiety comes from having sex the same way over and again. Trying new positions can change the sexual narrative. Encourage your man to engage in new sex positions like raising your legs on his shoulders when he penetrates you, and other creative positions you’d like to explore.

You can also try role-playing by creating unique situations and characters that are quite different from your normal lives. This will help increase sexual tension which will lead to mindblowing sex and hopefully an orgasm for you and your man.

FAQs

How can I improve my sexual performance anxiety?

There are different ways to do this, one is to accept you have sexual performance anxiety, two, communicate your feelings with your partner, and three, channel your focus from distracting thoughts and focus on the moment. If all these do not work, consider talking to an expert who will conduct tests to determine what could be wrong. Switching your diet and engaging in regular exercises can help too.

Can Viagra help with performance anxiety?

Yes, it can, viagra works well for correcting erectile dysfunction, it relaxes your blood vessels while increasing blood flow to your penis. A recent study reveals that two out of three men with erectile issues gave feedback that by taking a PDE-5 inhibitor like Viagra helped them gain and retain an erection.  More often than not, Viagra takes effect within 30 minutes of use and lasts for 4-5 hours.

What is performance anxiety sexually?

Performance anxiety basically means having negative thoughts and emotions while trying to have sex. These negative feelings hinder sexual performance by causing erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is when you cannot get your penis erected, maintain an erection, reach orgasm or ejaculate prematurely. 

How do you stop performance anxiety?

You can stop performance anxiety by addressing its causes, some of the causes of performance anxiety include stress, lack of sleep, unhealthy diet, inactivity, low self-esteem, underlying health problems, or even monotonous uninspiring sex. When you can point out the causes of performance anxiety, you will know what to do to stop it.

How can I get hard fast without pills?

Taking your mind off your physical or sexual shortcomings can be a very good way of gaining erection without the help of erection enhancers like Viagra. Also, letting your partner know how you are feeling can help improve the experience as well. You can also direct your partner on where to touch that will help you maintain an erection during sex. 

In Conclusion 

Erectile dysfunction is not something anyone likes to talk about but I hope by providing you with this information, you can better approach this embarrassing and draining problem. 

If you enjoyed reading and you learned something new, please leave a comment and share it with someone who needs the information as well.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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