According to a study done by the Opinion Research Corporation of New Jersey, the top qualities women look for in a man involve personality traits rather than physical attributes. Faithfulness, generosity, intelligence, and dependability are just some of the personality traits a woman wants in a man.
If you are looking for the qualities of a good man, you are probably looking for long-term compatibility. According to Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony and author of Date or Soulmate, choosing a marital partner is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make in life. In fact, when done right, marriages have a greater chance of success.
I highly recommend Dr. Warren’s book on finding your soulmate within two dates (or less). It helps you understand the exact qualities you need in a man by discovering who you are before you meet your soulmate. It was a real game-changer for me!
So, what constitutes the qualities of a good man? What exactly do women want?
In this article, we will look at the top qualities of a good man, so you know what to look for as you date around, searching for Mr. Right.
While not all good men are handsome, I believe you must be attracted to a person to have a fulfilling life with them. To me, this means that the guy is “kissable.” I always ask myself, “Can I imagine myself kissing this guy, or is there no chemistry?” He doesn’t have to be hot to most women; you just need to find him attractive.
Dr. Warren verifies this assertion when he says that matching women with men closest to their rating leads to a higher level of satisfaction; the same holds true for men. By “rating,” he explains they used a “grade level” decided by a neutral party to match couples on eHarmony. So, I recommend finding a guy you think is very attractive!
You want a guy who will be your cheerleader in life, someone who works with you rather than against you and is your number one fan in life. Find someone who will be on your team!
Someone who struggles with anger management may be manipulative, demanding, explosive, moody, short-tempered, and/or negative. Having issues like this can cause major problems in a long-term relationship. Be with a man who has a great deal of patience!
Women crave stability in their relationships; they want a guy who can share the burden of life with you and who will carry his own weight. A responsible man knows the tasks and duties he must do and is able to carry out his responsibilities with care.
Women like to know what they do is valued by their partner. Many men expect their women to be stay-at-home mothers or housewives, while others are happy to have their women work full-time. Whatever you decide to do in life, just find a man who will back you up and support your decisions.
Find a guy who sees your point of view and feels your feelings. Being with a guy who doesn’t do these things can be quite troublesome, overwhelming, and even exhausting!
Women need to be with men who “get” them, who laugh at their jokes, and who are good-natured. After all, who wants to be with a boring, negative partner?
According to Success, people with a healthy amount of humility take responsibility for their behavior and actions, know the difference between pride and self-confidence, and are filled with gratitude. Does your man have those qualities?
To me, this is the most important quality a guy could have. A loyal partner will be there for you through all the ups and downs in life. He doesn’t just abandon you when things get dicey; instead, he weathers any storm with you.
I view persistence as different from loyalty. Someone who is persistent doesn’t give up and doesn’t walk away. Instead, he tries just as hard as you do to have a successful relationship; he may even try harder than you do to keep the spark alive!
Many women look at fairy tales to guide them in finding the right man. Your partner doesn’t have to whisk you away in a horse-drawn carriage to be romantic. In fact, it’s more realistic to not base expectations on a fairy tale.
Instead, be grateful for the little things he does like sending you daisies for no reason or just calling to see how your day is going. Find a sweet guy who will treat you in the right way.
Women are much less likely to find happiness in a relationship when appreciation isn’t shown. In fact, in one study, 48% of couples from failed relationships said they experienced a lack of appreciation in their romantic relationship. Men feel validated and good about themselves when they receive a compliment or token of appreciation.
Everyone wants to be with someone who is comfortable with who they are. Being with someone who is sure of himself can improve your relationship because he will most likely be confident about you and what the two of you have together!
One quality that can ruin a happy relationship or marriage is a critical attitude. You need someone who doesn’t have a tendency to find fault and place blame on you for all the little things you do. The right person for you won’t have to be “right” all the time. He’s upbeat and positive about the world in general. He laughs and smiles a lot!
This is one of the most important dimensions of all when looking for a mate, according to Dr. Neil Clark Warren in Date or Soulmate. With change all around us, people are more individualized and differentiated than ever. Since we can’t foresee change and what is to come, this trait is even more important than it ever has been before.
Make sure you find someone who values who you are, who you were, and who you want to be in the future. You need a person that can see things your way from time to time.
I believe this to be one of the most important traits in a man. You should be with a person who listens to what you have to say and considers it rather than just discounting it without any thought to the matter. Look for a guy who will see things from all points of view before deciding on an outcome.
There is a study that has shown that men who have a good sense of humor are more likely to have success in relationships. That’s quite a good reason to look for a funny guy, but here’s another one.
Dr. Warren says that laughter is very therapeutic in intimate relationships. He explains that there’s evidence showing that marriages with little laughter suffer more during trying times. In fact, research shows that people who are in a relationship with humor in it experience the wonderful, freeing, and enlightening positive effects of laughter.
This doesn’t mean you both have to be funny or even equally funny, but if one person has a funny bone, the other person just needs to have a sense of humor. When a relationship has laughter, regardless of who is the funny partner, both parties reap the benefits. Therefore, it’s a smart idea to look for this trait in a mate.
A good man is reliable; he’s a person you can count on to do what he says he will. Don’t you want a man you can rely on?
This is a very attractive quality of a good man. In an online survey of more than 1,000 women aged 21 to 54, it was found that women valued certain characteristics more than others. In fact, they found that 66% of women craved moral integrity, stating that it made them “quiver.” This is clearly a highly sought after trait in the opposite sex!
A good man is sincere and true, no doubt about it. Find a guy who will “keep it real” with you, someone who will tell you the truth in all things.
Dr. Neil Clark Warren studied the top quality cited by women in choosing a partner and found the answer to be security. While men looked for women who were healthy and ripe with fertility, women wanted men who could provide physical and economic security.
Being able to provide for the family is very important to women, which is why they crave this quality in their partners. Financial stability may not be as sought after today as it once was with women working more now than ever, but it’s still very crucial to many women. They want to know the guy can tend to the family.
He doesn’t have to be a painter or a musician (although that can be quite hot), but there should be something in life that he gets excited about. Also, there must be some sexual chemistry involved. You can’t expect “sexual passion” to grow over time; it’s more something you either have with an individual or you don’t.
You should look for a person who goes after what he wants despite any self-doubt he may be feeling, a person who is brave in the face of danger (or disappointment).
In a study done by the Journal of Social Psychology, it was found that both sexes preferred altruistic partners for long-term relationships. Look for a person who enjoys helping others or spends his free time doing volunteer work.
Communication is a key factor in healthy relationships; you must be able to speak freely and think clearly - without interruption. Often, people who are “full of themselves” like narcissists are terrible listeners. Find an individual who will let you talk without waiting for you to pause so they can quickly change the subject to what interests them the most.
Find a tender gentleman who will treat you in a loving, caring, and respectful way, a person who will tend to your needs with sweetness and love.
Watch out for emotional red flags like emotional disorders, neuroses, and addictions. These demons may need care before the individual is ready for a healthy relationship.
Look for a guy who will remain true to you and the relationship the two of you have agreed upon, a person who will honor the boundaries you have established.
Find an individual who freely gives his heart, his sympathies, his attention, and his compassion. You deserve to have a person who loves openly.
A study done by the Hanken School of Economics in Finland found that the more intelligent the man is, the less likely he will be to be unfaithful or untrue. In fact, the study found that smarter men were more likely to get and stay married. That’s pretty compelling evidence to look for the smarty pants of the bunch.
Not to be confused, there are two kinds of intelligence - book smarts and street smarts. Those with a higher level of education would be the “book smarts” and would get along best with like-minded individuals. Those who are good with logic and reason are often seen as having “street smarts” and do well with, well, just about anybody!
In the study done by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, he found that the second most important quality that people looked for in a mate was kindness! Look for a person who has a well-developed capacity to treat others with kindness. This trait will always deepen and enrich the development of your long-term relationship with the person.
You don’t have to find someone who is exactly like you, but you should be like-minded when it comes to controversial issues. We are drawn to people who think like us (or at least understand us).
While it’s good to have a man with the qualities listed above, many women want a man who has the same values as she does. For example, having the same political affiliations, beliefs on social and/or environmental issues, and spiritual beliefs makes things so much easier. According to Dr. Neil Clark Warren, having shared values may create a better relationship.
In fact, in his book, Date or Soulmate, Dr. Warren states that it’s critical for couples to have similar values and beliefs about the essentials of living. If you typically work to save money and your spouse is a shopaholic, you can expect there to be turmoil when the subject of money comes up. Money issues are one of the top reasons that couples fight.
Self-discipline is also important. After all, a good man knows how to control himself; he doesn’t just blow up over one little thing. A man with self-discipline has self-control and a great degree of commitment; he follows things through. As a boyfriend or husband, a good man commits to the success of the relationship; the man has no trouble working on problem areas, either.
One thing you should look for in a mate is shared values because life is so much easier when you agree about the big stuff. No one wants to have ongoing strife with their loved one, so find someone who shares your beliefs or at least respects what you believe.
Each person’s opinion of this is different on what makes up the perfect man. For many women, the ideal man is mature, intelligent, and has a great deal of character. It’s also smart to find a man who is compatible with you, someone who shares your values and beliefs.
A good man doesn’t struggle with power issues or a negative self-image. Instead, he is confident, intelligent, handsome, kind, and financially stable. A man can be good without these things, but they do indicate a certain level of maturity that’s desirable in a mate.
According to Redbook, there are specific traits that women may possess that men find attractive. Some of these physical traits that men like include dark, healthy hair, wider hips, and a well-groomed physique. Men also appreciate it when a woman wears the color red.
Each man is different. There are some men who prefer blondes while others like dark hair. All men appreciate a woman with a high level of self-confidence, someone who is comfortable with who she is; insecurity is a major turn-off to guys. They’d rather be with a secure individual.
Each woman expects different things in a good man. Some women want to date men who are intelligent, while others seek men who are very spiritual.
What do you look for in a man? What qualities do you believe a good man has? Please share your experience in the comments!