Am I In A One Sided Relationship? (21 Clear Signs)

by April Maccario

Are you giving more in your relationship than you’re getting out of it? Does your man put in little to no effort in making sure the relationship works out? If your answer is yes, then it’s likely that you’re in a one-sided relationship. No matter how hard you try to remain in denial, you know deep down within you that what I am saying is true. 

At this point, you should consider getting out before things get all messy for you. The reason is simple; you’re likely not to get any gratification or fulfillment being in this kind of relationship. In fact, they can have far-reaching consequences on your mental and physical health. 

I know for a fact that having emotional feelings for a person can sometimes make us blindsided to some obvious truths. Still having doubts? Here are some signs that indicate that you’re in a one sided relationship. 

21 Signs Of One Sided Relationships

1. You do most of the work in the relationship

This is apparently the most obvious sign of a one sided relationship. When one person overworks themself just to make sure the relationship runs smoothly and for what? Your partner rarely supports you and hardly ever makes any efforts. 

It’s worse when you are left to all of the house chores with little or no help from him. Seeing each other and getting to spend some quality time is nearly impossible if you don’t initiate it. 

If you’re contributing so much and getting nothing in return, then you should reconsider the whole one sided affair. 

2. He doesn’t appreciate your efforts

You’re practically doing the most work and yet he never appreciates you for doing so. Relationships like this feel like one person is doing so much without being asked to because each gesture goes unnoticed. In healthy relationships, people reciprocate or appreciate the efforts of their partners even when they don’t have it in mind. 

In your case, your man never has it in his subconscious to compliment or appreciate the work you’re putting in. I think it’s time you reconsider your options and check to see if you’re in a one sided relationship.  

3. You’re always apologizing

You’re always apologizing

Everybody makes mistakes and we all have faults. There’s also nothing wrong in apologizing when you offend your partner, but where I draw the line is where you’re always the one apologizing after every single misunderstanding or quarrel.  

I know you may be trying not to rock the boat by taking the fall for every mishap. However, playing down on your emotions to please your partner is just way too much especially when he doesn’t value it. 

4. You’re always justifying your partner’s bad behaviors

Falling in love with someone makes you vulnerable to that person and also blinds you to reason. This is where your close circle of friends and relatives come in. They see things more clearly and from an objective point of view. Sometimes, you may not see that you’re putting in all the effort, it’s only people watching both of you that would tell.

Constantly downplaying and justifying the failings of your unrepentant partner when accosted by close friends and family members shows you’re not just in a one sided relationship, but also in an abusive one. 

5. He places his needs above yours

This is unarguably one of the clearest signs of one sided relationships. You feel your partner rates everything else above you. You might have noticed that everything you do in the relationship revolves around his needs at that moment. In fact, he agrees to see you only when it suits him. Someone who doesn’t take you into consideration when making his plans doesn’t regard you as his significant other. This also applies to moving your engagements around to suit his own every single time. 

6. You’re always the one initiating the lines of communication

In one sided relationships, it's normal for one person to do most of the calling, texting and keeping in touch. And then in the event that you’re unable to make contact with your partner, it takes several days before he decides to call or text you. 

In an ideal setting, you shouldn’t have to roll over for his affection and attention. Both of you should value and crave each other’s company. When you see signs of a one sided relationship like this, you shouldn’t take it lightly. 

7. The future of the relationship looks bleak

Are you always questioning the stability of your relationship with this person? Or wondering if you are good enough for him? This feeling of insecurity makes you feel uneasy around your man especially when he’s in the company of other women. 

The worst case would be if your partner does nothing to allay your fears or assure you of where you stand with him. I must tell you, these things can be tiring and exhausting. It’s high time you realize that you’re in a one sided relationship. 

8. He never grants you any favors

A typical example is if your man requires you to sacrifice your time and energy to do something for him, yet he can never do the same for you. His usual excuse would be that he doesn’t have the time or resources to help you. 

He may probably tell you that he has so much going on at the moment or he’s too busy with work engagements. Someone who claims to love you should be willing to sacrifice his time to help you out.

9. Your conversations are basic and empty

Your conversations are basic and empty

One of the fundamentals of a successful relationship is communication and interaction. People can’t survive without ample communication, neither can relationships and what makes it a complete communication is feedback. This is because interacting with your partner should be a two-way flow.

If you feel empty after interacting with your man, then something isn't right. Emptiness just shows that your relationship is one-sided. 

10. Your presence irritates him

After the day's hustle and bustle, you expect to return to the comfort and wide loving arms of your beloved partner. But when he doesn’t want you around, when your touch puts him off, or the mere sight of you irritates him, then understand that your relationship is one-sided. 

People won’t irritate you when you love or like them, you might just be turned off by some of their characters. 

11. Little or no recognition amongst his friends and family

Part of what brings a sense of belonging in a relationship is when you feel like a part of his friends and family. The feeling that comes with his friends knowing you on a personal basis or his siblings calling you to say hello is amazing. 

Whenever he has to move away to answer family calls, or he doesn't take you for friendly visitations/outings, then you are not in his inner circle. Especially if your entire circle knows him, but you can say the same for yourself.

12. Nothing you do seems right to him

It hurts when your partner whom you expect to love, understand, and forgive you begins to pick out every action as a fault/mistake. Making room for faults is paramount in a relationship. If you’re having a hard time trying to please him majorly at your discomfort without any show appreciation or reciprocation but rather excessive complaints, then your relationship is one-sided.

13. No significant growth on your part

When things stop growing, they start dying. If after a couple of years of being with him, there’s nothing to show for it, then there’s an issue. If your partner is growing and improving himself, it’s at your own detriment. Relationships are meant to add value to your life and not diminish you. It hurts more when he doesn’t pay any attention to your growth or development.

14. He hides his true identity from you

One of the beautiful pros of a relationship is portraying your true personality to your partner. Around your partner, you have nothing to hide, you show who you truly are. If he spares no effort in ensuring you don't get to know him, then your relationship is probably one-sided.

15. He makes you feel inadequate

It’s either your dress is never pretty enough, or your hair is never properly done. If these and more are your experiences with your partner, then your relationship is one-sided. When there's always something inadequate about what you say, do or wear; then something isn't right. 

If your partner constantly makes you feel like you're always lacking something, instead of making you feel comfortable, beautiful, and loved, there’s a problem. 

16. He doesn’t support you

He doesn’t support you

Support from your partner can never be overemphasized, as this can be shown in several ways. Such as offering to pay her gas bills, offering to pay her hair bills, it even extends to words of encouragement and advice. This is because you both decided to be in the relationship, and are supposed to be there for each other. 

17. Gives negative feedback on sexual advances

This may not be an issue if your partner is stressed out from his job or having medical issues. If he's entirely fine and he doesn't respond to your sexual advances, then there's an offset in your relationship.

When you get all touchy or flirtatious and your partner does not see the need to respond, or he quickly puts away your actions giving silly excuses or reasons for not being in ‘the mood,’ that’s pretty questionable.  

18. Shamelessly talks lustfully about someone else

You definitely don't appeal to him anymore when he desires another lady. When your partner compares you to someone else, it makes you feel insecure and gives a feeling of not being enough. It definitely lowers your self-esteem; rather than equipping you, supporting you and motivating you, he rather compares you with someone else he lusts after.

19. He likes you only for what you offer

He calls you only when he needs something, probably to meet up with a family function, or comes to you only when he wants sex. If at any point, you say you aren't available for whatever it is in particular, he gets angry and distances himself from you. It seems he only loves you for what you can offer and this leaves you feeling more used than loved which invariably confirms your relationship is one sided. 

20. He calls all the shot

In an ideal setting, your opinion and thoughts on a matter holds as much water as your partner’s own. You both make the decisions, no matter how small or big they may be. Truth is, two good minds make good decisions.

It shouldn't always be what he wants or what he thinks is right. In the relationship, whatever decision made would eventually affect both of you, and when he constantly makes decisions without consulting you, then you should be bothered.  

21. He shows little concern over your well-being 

A caring boyfriend will show genuine concern for your overall well-being and day-to-day life. The truth of the matter is, if you’re in a one-sided relationship, your man simply doesn’t give a hoot about seeing you happy. 

He’s supposed to call or text to check up on you regularly to see how you’re doing. If your man doesn’t do that no matter how much you complain about it, there’s really nothing you can do to change his “I-don’t-care-about-you” attitude. The sooner you leave him, the better for you. 

FAQs

What are the signs of a one sided relationship?

The signs are too many to highlight but it takes a keen eye to identify them. One sided relationships are often characterized by one partner solely bearing the brunt and burden of the relationship. Other signs could include feeling inadequate and insecure, little or no emotional connection with your partner, and lack of communication on his part. 

What is a one sided relationship called?

Whether you call it unrequited love or a one sided affair, they are one and the same thing. The balance of the relationship is tipped and one partner is on the unfavorable end of the scale. It’s a relationship where one person invests much more energy and resources than their partner. 

Can a one sided relationship work?

More often than not, they don’t usually work out. If you’re willing to give it your all to ensure it does, then by all means do so. The good thing about trying is that it gives you a sense of fulfillment that you tried your possible best to make it work. 

How do you deal with one sided relationships?

You can start by calling your partner’s attention to the imbalance. Inasmuch as you want to voice your complaints, try to be open to seeing things from his own perspective. You could also seek advice from professional counselors and therapists. 

What to do when you don’t feel loved in a relationship?

Before you do anything rash, ascertain how you and your boyfriend express love. Oftentimes, it’s just a little disparity between how you feel. Investing more time and effort into it might lead to a turning point. On the other hand, the best action to take when you’ve tried every other means is to ditch the relationship

In A Nutshell

Getting to find out that you’re in a one sided relationship is quite tough, to say the least. How you progress going forward is entirely up to you but ensure you place your happiness above all else. Share your experiences with me in the comment section and do well to share this post.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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