My Sister Is Dating My Ex-Boyfriend (5 Things You Must Do)

by April Maccario

Relationships are fun to be in. You finally find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with; or at least you can see him in your future, seated in a similar rocking chair, with cats on his lap. 

The most painful thing anyone in a relationship can experience is having to break up. That occurrence can shatter you not just emotionally, but also physically. Suddenly there's nowhere to pick up from, and you're left wondering what happened to all those future dreams.

How To Handle It: 5 Things To Do

Slowly, it begins to sink in that he's never coming back, and your heart decides that it's the best time to heal. It seems as though you're dealing another blow just when you're almost halfway through with the process; your ex boyfriend has moved on since. 

Years down the line, from sheer curiosity, you try to find out who it is, but everyone is terrified at letting that information slip. It turns out, he found another woman. However, this woman just happens to be someone you know, who looks just like you, who has been by your side for many years, who... just happens to be your very own sister.  The news is shocking and hard to process, but worst of all, the ultimate loss of faith in the girl code. 

If you've ever experienced this, you're not alone; many women have been dealt these cards - being betrayed by their very own sister, but luckily they survived and found a way to heal from it all. You might be wondering, 'What should I do? What did I do?' Here are things that helped many others move on.

1. Communicate 

If it was your friend who dated or is still dating your ex, chances are, you would want to talk to her about it, so why not your sister? Talk to your sister as candidly as you possibly can, and during the discussion, find out what she's feeling or thinking. You might think your sister doing this to spite you when it isn't the case. Love comes in the oddest ways and this is one example. For all you know, she's sad and scared of losing you because of this.

2. Allow yourself time to feel

Grieve this new information if you have to. Understandably, your trust in the girl code has gone - so, you don’t have to look and act happy if you’re not. Things will get awkward between you, your sister, and your ex, no matter your reaction; so it’s best to address your emotions head-on. Give yourself time to grieve this dating occurrence, and then learn to let go and get over it. Make sure you never hang on to a lost lover.

Grieving might involve crying, going strong in the gym, sleeping a lot, or indulging in tubs of chocolate. Do what works best for you and slowly, grasp hold of the reality and work at getting better.

3. Keep a reasonable distance

Keep a reasonable distance

This is a significant girl code point if you still have feelings for your ex. You can’t cut your sister loose the way you would a friend who is dating (or dated) your ex. You and your sister likely had many years of friendship and so, you have to work your way around the situation by avoiding any bust-up. You might start by avoiding your sister as much as possible because you need a little break from her. ,

Also, as a grown-up, it’s likely you’re not sharing rooms or apartments. If you are, be bright and kind about your request knowing that she's bound to understand your point of view and why you find this necessary for your healing. Keeping distance can be physical and even transcend to virtual meaning; that is, no stalking on Instagram, or sending text messages.

4. Allow yourself some comfort

To help you heal properly and thoroughly, without feelings of remorse, be sure to keep the company of people who make you feel good and loved. They can be friends or even other people in your household. Cry with them around, and let them know your fears and anxiety. As these are people who care about you, they will likely understand where you're coming from and will offer you the much-needed comfort your soul desires. 

5. Be hopeful 

It might not seem like it, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how hurt you are right now. You need to understand that no matter how tough and painful things get during these times, life hasn't ended just yet, and there's so much waiting for you after the healing process. 

Talking to people will help you see the lessons in this occurrence, and also shape you to become stronger, more resilient, and readily open to date again, no matter the outcome. Accept the fact that they might wither, break up, or end up staying married with kids to show for it. Brace yourself for any outcome and love your sister regardless because when it comes down to it, the household is a beautiful thing that must be guarded over the so-called girl code.

FAQs

Is it wrong to date your ex's sister?

The immediate response to this girl code question from most people will be a resounding yes! But hold your horses for a brief moment and really ponder this. Every human long for companionship and most often we have no idea where that companionship would come from. Occasionally we're meant to be with someone, and can only get to them through others. It isn't always your fault of you fall in love with some families; it only makes life seemingly complicated.

Why does my ex still talk to my sister?

There are two reasons why this could be going on. The first we all pray for is that they've realized how much sucks without you, and they’re ready to make a comeback. Instead of coming directly to you, your ex might try to get close to the family to find out if you've moved on with a new relationship or not. The second instance is if indeed, your ex has decided to move on, dating no one else but your sister.  

Is it OK to date your ex's cousin?

Dating your ex’s cousin isn’t an issue, provided you and your ex ended the relationship on a good note. If you did, your actions will not be seen as a sign of revenge by your former partner. Also, be sure that you’re dating this cousin because of genuine spirits, and not because you need a rebound or you still want a link into the family. 

Can a brother fall in love with his sister?

Every brother really loves their sister, even though the majority of them behave as though they don't. A brother can fall in love with his sister, but these moods may stem from other needs, dreams, or desires. It might not be love in itself, but only a physical attraction that gives off the appearance of love because of the ties they share.

Is it OK to date your ex's brother?

Sure, it is the girl code! You can date your ex-boyfriend's brother since you've been separated for some time, and no emotions were hurt in the process. Sometimes, it might be the brother who is interested in you and not the other way around. In such instances, it is safe to keep your distance, to prevent you from feeling the same way and causing potential drama where unnecessary.

To Sum Things Up

The girl code is something that keeps us women united. However, when betrayed, it’s understandable why we end up competing with each other. That said; losing an ex to a friend or family member can happen and there are better ways to go about the issue than fighting.

If this piece helped you further understand how to get over someone you dated, feel free to let us know your feelings, as well as all your past dating stories. Also, pass this on to your friends and family or someone else you know whose sister is dating an ex.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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