What Should I Do When My Relationship is Boring? (19 Ways To Spice Things Up Now!)

Last updated on June 8, 2022 by April Maccario

Everyone loves the honeymoon stage in a relationship - you’re getting to know each other, learning about each other, doing exciting things together, and having lots of fun in the bedroom! 

However, this stage doesn’t actually last that long, and although it might not seem like it, it’s the easiest part of a relationship. The hardest part of being in a relationship is keeping it alive, exciting and fun, even when you feel like you know everything about each other and you’ve done everything you possibly can together.

Although you might feel concerned that it’s the end of the road for your relationship when you feel bored, don’t panic. It’s not nice, but feeling bored in a relationship is totally normal if you’ve been with your partner for a while. This is a common time for a relationship to end, but there’s no need for that to happen, and there are some really simple fixes to the problem you’re facing.

In this article, we’re going to share 19 of the ways you can easily spice things up in your relationship, so you can get your love story back on track! So, let’s dive right in and get started.

What To Do When My Relationship Is Boring

1. Make sure you’re not bored of yourself

Often, the reason you’re feeling bored in your relationship is because you’re actually bored with your own life, not with your relationship or your partner. So, instead of thinking, “my relationship is boring” maybe think about whether your own life is boring you. 

The first thing you need to actually think about is the quality of your own life, separate from your partner’s. Are you fulfilled? Are you living out your dreams? Are you living a life that excites you?

If you’re not, then the first and most obvious thing you need to do is change your life. Don’t take the boredom you feel for your own life out on your partner, as it’s not fair and it’ll only make your relationship struggle.

2. Leave love notes around the house

leave love notes around the house

A really simple, but effective way to increase the intimacy, gratitude, and love in your relationship is by leaving love notes around the house. Often, in long-term relationships, you can lose gratitude for your partner and take them for granted. This isn’t fair and it leads to you feeling bored of what the two of you have together.

By leaving little love notes around the place for your partner to find, it not only makes your partner feel appreciated and therefore want to return the appreciation, but it also takes you back to a stage when you first met each other and complimented each other non-stop. 

3. Plan a weekly date night

In long-term relationships, dating should never stop. A lot of people seem to think that once you’ve actually secured a partner that you don’t need to date your partner anymore - this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Going on dates is really important, especially in a long-term partnership, because it allows the two of you to dedicate time to each other and no one else. For one night you can ignore the stresses and worries of domestic life and enjoy each other for the people you are. 

So, make sure you are scheduling a weekly date night. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you go, but just make sure you go. You might find it fun to take it in turns to plan the date.

4. Go away just the two of you.

Taking a break with your partner is a great way to rekindle the romance and reignite the love you have for each other. It doesn’t matter if you take a hotel in your nearest town for the night or jet off to somewhere hot for a week, going away just the two of you is a guaranteed way to get sparks flying again.

5. Go back on one of your first dates

Your goal is probably to get back to the excitement and fun you felt when you first started dating your partner, so why not go back to these dates exactly? Remember back to some of the best dates you had with your partner and re-do them. Reminiscing over the good times of the past will remind you exactly why you’re with your partner.

6. Treat your partner to surprises.

If your long-term relationship feels a bit too predictable or even mundane, one of the best ways to spice things up is by incorporating surprises into your everyday life together. Whether you wake your man up with breakfast in bed or you plan a secret getaway, surprises make everything exciting.

7. Hold and kiss each other more

Although you’d probably love to hop into bed every night and make love to your partner like you did when you first met, the truth is you’re probably too tired to even think about it. However, you need intimacy. So, all you need to do is make an effort to hold and kiss each other more. 

8. Plan the future

You might be feeling bored because you’re both saving for something, you’re stressed or you’re waiting for your next big step together. However, there’s no need to feel bored whilst you’re waiting. Instead, talk about your future and get excited about the plans you have together, create goals or book things that you can look forward to.

9. Work on a project together

work on a project together

A wonderful way to connect with each other more is by working on a project together. Whether you ask your partner to help you with something work-related or you want to renovate your house, working on something brings you together because you’re working as a team towards completing the task at hand, and you have to face any problems together.

10. Surprise your partner with new lingerie

If you’re feeling bored, your sex life has probably taken a hit, and it’s really vital that you get it back on track. Buying yourself some sexy new lingerie will not only boost your self-esteem and make you feel sensual, but surprising your partner wearing it will be a sure way to get him feeling crazy about you, and it’ll most likely lead to some super hot sex.

11. Act like kids together

When was the last time you had a good giggle with your partner? Or had a playfight? A great way to make everything exciting again is by acting like children. Invite joy into your relationship by trying to make your partner laugh every day. Have fun together and do crazy things only kids would do - you’ll find yourself feeling much happier and more carefree in no time.

12. Live out each other’s fantasies in the bedroom

As mentioned above, your sex life will have probably taken a hit if you’re experiencing boredom with your partner, so a great way to make sure it gets back on track is by trying new things in the bedroom. One of the easiest ways you can sexually reconnect and have excitement is by living out each other’s fantasies. 

This not only brings you closer together and helps you to have fun, but it also pushes boundaries in the bedroom and opens both of your minds to new ideas.

13. If you have kids, get someone to babysit every so often

There’s absolutely no doubt that you love your kids, but every so often, you have to take a break to spend time with your partner. Every day you live out the mother role, and it’s vital that you play the partner role once in a while too.

Drop your kids off at your mother’s or call in the babysitter and take a night off. You will find that as soon as you spend time just the two of you, sparks will fly.

Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
This is one of the most common issues our female readers face.

It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.

Take this free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

14. Spend time apart

Although this sounds like a strange point, you might be feeling boredom if you are spending every day by your partner’s side. You need to do things separately so that you have things to talk about and share when you’re together. So, spending time away from your partner can actually benefit the connection between the two of you, even if the concept sounds contrary.

15. Take up a hobby together

Pick a new hobby that both of you are interested in and start doing it together. Learning something new is always exciting, and doing it as a team allows that excitement to exist within your relationship. Trying something like dancing would be a great idea because it involves the two of you being close and intimate.

16. Draw out kisses

A simple way to reignite passion and excitement in relationships is by drawing out kisses. The next time your partner goes to give you a quick peck, pull them closer and hold your lips on theirs. Make out with them, but don’t force it to turn into sex and you’ll feel like it’s the first time you did.

17. Swap your sweats for something cuter

In a long-term relationship, you’ll probably find yourself wearing comfy clothes, rather than dressing up to impress your man like when you first met. Sometimes, you need to be the one to take action and realize that you’re adding to the state of boredom. So, swap your sweats for something cuter and see how much your beau loves it.

18. Flirt


Just as continuing to date is vital to keep a relationship exciting, so is flirting. Exchange dirty texts with your partner, act naughty with them around the house, and flirt with them like it’s the first time you met. This is a guaranteed way to stop boredom from happening because there’s always a chase.

19. Don’t force it

Sometimes the sad truth is that boredom does occur in relationships after the honeymoon stage, and you do need to make an effort to keep it vibrant. Don’t panic, but also, don’t force it. The boredom should naturally subside and the relationship will work out if you’re supposed to be together. 

However, it’s important to not force the relationship - if you try all of these points and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better, you might want to think about why your relationship is flatlining so much, as there may be bigger problems at stake.


Is it normal to be bored in a relationship?

It is normal to feel boredom in a relationship, especially when you’ve been with your partner for a long time. Although a lot of people think it’s something to be extremely worried about, there are so many things you can do to spice it up a little and bring back the excitement. Being bored doesn’t mean you love your partner any less.

What to do if the relationship gets boring?

The 19 tips above should help you out if you’re not sure what to do when your relationship gets boring. Overall what you need to do is bring back the excitement you once had for the relationship and for your partner. Act like children, increase intimacy, date each other again, and spice things up in the bedroom.

What happens when your relationship gets boring?

When you’re feeling bored in a relationship, everything seems like a chore, even having sex or being intimate. If you don’t work on the relationship and make an effort to make it exciting again, this is where you will run into problems - everything will become mundane and you’ll lose gratitude for your partner. But, as long as you make an effort to make things exciting again, your relationship will recover.

Is a boring relationship bad?

A boring relationship isn’t necessarily a bad relationship, and most of the time when people experience relationship boredom it’s because they’ve been together with their partner for a long time and they just don’t feel the butterflies like they used to. The majority of relationships go through a down period after the honeymoon stage, but it doesn’t mean the relationship is bad.

How do you reset your relationship?

All of the tips in this article should help you to reset your relationship if things have become a little too predictable and mundane. The things you and your partner both did to woo each other at the beginning of your relationship need to come back, you need to stop taking each other for granted and put some effort into showing your love - this is how a relationship will survive the test of time.

In Conclusion

Now that you know all of the best ways to reignite the sparks in your relationship, go for it, and good luck! Just remember, you do need to put a good amount of effort into making a relationship work if you want it to last the test of time. 

Did you enjoy this article? Let us know in the comments and feel free to share.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.

It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you!

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.