My Husband Turns Everything Around On Me (21 Unbelievable Reasons)

by April Maccario

The truth is, nobody likes to be blamed for something they aren’t responsible for, and having to go through this with your spouse every day can be draining

If your complaint is, “My husband blames me for everything,” then this article is for you. 

We’ve narrowed 21 reasons why your spouse may be acting that way, with hopes that you identify the true cause, and fix the problem in your relationship as soon as possible. 

21 Reasons Why He’s Pushing The Blame

1. He lacks empathy

There are a set of individuals with significantly low empathy levels, who find it hard to be concerned by the feelings of others. Such people are referred to as narcissists, and while not every person with a low level of empathy is a narcissist, they share similar characteristics. 

If your spouse finds it difficult to understand that blaming you all the time is hurtful, then he might simply lack empathy. 

2. He takes offense easily

People who take offense easily, tend to misconstrue the words of others. They take something small, turn it to a big deal, and make you feel you’re the one that is wrong. If your spouse takes offense easily, then it will be hard for him to properly understand your actions. 

3. He feels underappreciated

When someone feels underappreciated by others, any bad light would make them get the impression that they’re inferior. Blaming someone else for something and making them think they’re the sole cause of practically any problem in the relationship excludes them from any fault. 

Never taking the blame, even when it’s obvious makes him think he’s the one doing everything right, even though that’s not the case. 

4. He’s self-righteous

 He’s self-righteous

Self-righteous people uphold the status of good deeds, superior values, and outstanding knowledge. Though this may not solely be true, what matters to them is the fact that others believe this self-same fact. The attention and praise they receive from others is the highlight of their identity, which makes it impossible for them to accept blame for something wrong.

5. He has a sense of entitlement

People who are entitled don’t usually see something is off when they push blame all the time. It’s easy for you to get fed up with the constant blame turning in the relationship, but an entitled spouse wants to get his way all the time.  

They can sometimes be hypocritical, but they find it hard to believe this, simply because they like that help, and want to get preferential treatment. 

6. He’s hyper-sensitive

Hyper-sensitivity happens commonly among individuals and can easily make someone lose sight of common logic in an argument. Instead of seeing things clearly, they sense they’re being attacked because of something you said, making them respond aggressively. He might not be able to help passing the blame in the relationship, at least it helps him sleep better at night.

7. He likes to dominate

People who like to dominate and control others, like to uphold certain high positions. They feel like they should never be reprimanded or told they are wrong. Passing off blame to others is one easy way to maintain that high reputation he has worked to achieve.

8. He’s naturally troublesome

There are people who naturally like causing trouble, and this is probably a pattern in all their relationships. They generally don’t have negative intentions but basically, find it fun to cause trouble.

9. He’s avoiding feeling emotions

Most men naturally think that being emotional is something that entails weakness in relationships. Instead of trying to express their emotions accordingly, they help themselves by dealing with it and trying to act strong. If this is the case, your partner may have to seek professional help.

10. He’s grandiose

Being grandiose means you thrive in self-praise and making others know how great you are. People in this category will do anything just to make others see their perks and outstanding qualities. 

They’ll hang with the rich, successful, and talented folks just to make themselves look better, and this occurs mostly as a result of self-doubt. This can easily cause anyone to pass off blame all the time without hesitation. 

11. He’s an argumentative person

People who are generally argumentative are deemed as know-it-alls and are defensive at every point in time. This can stem from multiple other reasons such as feeling inferior, but it genially affects their capability to reason logically in any situation. If your spouse naturally likes to win arguments, then this could be the reason he likes to blame you for things.  

12. He’s arrogant

Someone who is arrogant thinks highly of himself and feels everyone else is beneath him. This can cause him to be disdainful to others and highly critical, even to the point of putting everyone down just to maintain a top spot. Arrogant people have bullying tendencies, which explains why anyone would always want to blame other people instead of accepting faults. 

13. He’s emotionally disconnected

This can also be referred to as emptiness, where someone establishes a rich emotional connection with themself and finds it hard to connect with others optimally. This can make them never accept the fact that they’re playing the blame game, even though someone tells them. They also justify their actions even though they aren’t making the best emotional decisions.

14. He is always in denial

People who have suffered from rejection or events that brought down their self-esteem, usually face the egoistic problem of denial. After creating a high reputation, anything that comes close to spoiling that reputation is discarded. This is majorly why they wouldn’t see faults in themselves because they’re trying to maintain a built-up ego. 

15. He feels superior

Feeling superior to others is a narcissistic trait, and can easily render someone inconsiderate to other people’s feelings. Someone that feels superior wouldn’t hesitate to pass off blame to another person, especially because the wrong deeds are a taint on their reputation. 

16. He has toxic shame

There are many people who feel shameful for a number of reasons, however, those who have toxic shame tend to project this to others. People in this category find it hard to take criticism or negative feedback, even if it’s supposed to make them change for the better. On the contrary, they prefer others to constantly speak positive things about them, and praise their deeds. 

17. He’s using the narcissistic defense tactic

He’s using the narcissistic defense tactic

In order to feel less inferior, narcissists and others alike, use a defense mechanism called projection, which is blaming others to constantly keep themselves in the bubble of the ego they’ve set up. Anything that taints their image is usually deflected to another person, so they can feel less inferior, and more in control of things. 

18. He’s self-centered

Self-centered people always like to be the subject of topics, they also prefer to talk more than they listen to others. This trait can easily cause someone to be negligent of common logic in an argument, causing them to pass the blame, rather than understand the cause of the matter.

If you feel like your spouse is self-centered, then this could be the major reason why he passes off blame.

19. He thrives on the failure of others

There are multiple reasons why someone would naturally want to see others fail. It could be to make themselves look good, or because they’ve experienced rejection due to past failures before. Whatever the reason may be, this could be why your spouse is passing off unnecessary blame to you – because he thrives on the failure of other people. 

20. He’s a perfectionist

Like the name itself, perfectionists strive to make sure every single thing is perfect. They uphold the belief that they themselves are also perfect, due to the conscious efforts they’re making to reach perfection. As a result of this mindset, finding faults in their deeds is almost impossible, which is why they’re likely to blame others, despite being at fault. 

21. He’s vulnerable

Vulnerability can cause men to crave for superiority and power, this can cause them to put others down just to feel good. Vulnerability also causes insecurity and makes people never want to be seen in a bad light. If you feel like your spouse is highly vulnerable, he will not like to lose any argument and might deflect all blame from himself just to achieve this.

FAQs

What is it called when someone turns things around on you?

The process when someone passes the blame on you is called gaslighting. People generally do this because they have unresolved self-esteem issues, alongside other personal problems, this makes it hard for them to accept blame. 

Why does my wife turn everything around on me?

The blame-game tactics of your wife can easily make you feel bad. Nonetheless, know that she’s probably struggling with some self-esteem issues, or some other personal matters, causing her to project blame to you. It could also be because she feels underappreciated by you and others. 

Why is it always my fault when we argue?

If things are always your fault in a relationship whenever you argue, it could indicate that the other person is projecting blame to you, either intentionally or unintentionally. Also, perhaps you don’t seem to notice how your actions affect others. 

What do you do when your husband makes a decision without you?

If your spouse makes a decision without you, ensure you talk to him about it. Also, emphasize on communication, and how to build trustworthiness between each other. This will enable the two of you to constantly share details with one another. 

What are gaslighting tactics?

The most common gaslighting tactic is projecting blame on others in order to have the upper hand in every situation. People who gaslight want to reach a level of superiority, in order to take advantage of others. 

To Sum Things Up

Did you enjoy this article on how to deal with someone who blames you for everything? If you discover your spouse exhibits any of the above-listed traits, find avenues to get him the help he requires. If you like this article, kindly share, and leave a comment below. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *