My Husband Likes To Wear Women’s Clothes (19 Things You Should (and Shouldn’t) Do)

by April Maccario

If you’ve walked in on your husband walking around in your intimates or you’ve noticed him scrambling to get out of a dress before you can see, you might be feeling shocked and confused. Although you might think it’s rare, it’s not that uncommon for men to enjoy wearing women’s clothes, and there’s a variety of reasons as to why they do it. 

However, it is still one of the more taboo subjects, and therefore you might not know what way to react or how to approach the situation because you know very little about it. Don’t panic though, because this article is here to help you understand what you should and shouldn’t do when you find out that your husband likes to crossdress. 

What To Do And Not To Do

1. Don’t assume you’re husband is gay

The fact is, a lot of straight men crossdress, and a lot of the time, they’re ashamed of it because society deems it unacceptable for heterosexual men to do this. So, although your first thought might be that your husband is gay, and although that could possibly be true, it’s probably not and you shouldn’t assume this.

2. Don’t assume your husband is transgender

Much like the assumption that your mind will jump to about your husband being gay, you may also assume that he’s transgender or wants to change sex. As mentioned above, a lot of heterosexual men that are happy being labeled as men, crossdress. Therefore, don’t assume your husband wants to change his sex.

3. Don’t panic and think your relationship is doomed

It’s completely normal for you to panic and become nervous about your marriage, but you need to calm down and realize that this is much like any other relationship issue you’ve had before and the two of you can work through it - you’re partners for life!

4. Don’t tell your friends straight away

don't tell your friends straight away

Although confiding in your friends is great and it’s probably what you normally do when it comes to this matter, it’s best not to for your partner’s sake. Your partner may not want anyone to know about his cross-dressing, and it’s not for you to share, so it’s best to get advice elsewhere.

5. Do background research on cross-dressing

Before you panic too much or confront your husband about it, you should really research cross-dressing. This is a delicate matter and something that you shouldn’t go into blindly, so do your research.

6. Do realize you can’t fix or change this

It’s important to realize that this is a part of your partner that you are unable to change or fix. You need to find a way to accept that and work together with him, rather than against him.

7. Do openly talk to your husband

You do need to talk to your partner about his cross-dressing habits as it’s something that affects both of you. The two of you have to have clear, honest communication without judgment or prejudice.

8. Do ensure he feels like he’s in an emotionally safe space

You should always try and ensure your partner feels in a safe space, both emotionally and physically, and to talk to him about this matter, you need to be certain he feels like he can be open and honest with you. For example, confront him at home, not when you’re out and about with people around.

9. Don’t judge him

Imagine if you felt vulnerable about a personal matter, would you want to be judged by your partner? Of course not, so make sure that when you speak to your husband about cross-dressing, you don't judge him. Instead, listen and be open.

10. Do show empathy and try to understand

Although you might not fully understand why your partner dresses in clothes designed for women, you need to try and understand why he does it and show empathy to him. It’s probably a really big deal for him to even speak to you about it, so try to be understanding and nonjudgemental.

11. Don’t pressure him to tell you anything

You might want to rack your husband’s brain about this topic, but it’s going to be really overwhelming for him if you do this. Instead, let him tell you things in his own time and don’t put any added pressure on him.

12. Do ask if he’s questioning his sexuality

Your husband might be heterosexual, as a lot of heterosexual men do crossdress, but it is always worth asking (in a calm, honest, and open manner) if he is questioning his sexuality. If he is, it’s important that you know.

13. Do ask how often and where he cross-dresses

You should ask your partner how often he cross-dresses and where he does it, so you can gauge how much time he wants to spend looking like the opposite sex and whether he wants to do it strictly at home or in public.

14. Do think about your own boundaries

Of course, it’s important that you practice compassion and understanding, but you should also set your own boundaries. If you’re happy for him to crossdress at home but definitely not in public, tell him. If you don’t want him wearing your dresses and would prefer he bought his own, tell him.

15. Do set ground rules that the two of you are happy with

As a pair, you need to lay sound ground rules so that both of you feel happy with the knowledge that no boundaries are being crossed.

16. Do support him

A lot of men really struggle with their emotions when it comes to cross-dressing, so make sure that you support your partner. After all, you’re a team and he supports you right back.

17. Do ensure there’s always an open conversation about it

do ensure there's always an open conversation about it

In case either of you crosses any boundaries or breaks the basic rules you set together, you need to work on maintaining open, honest communication when it comes to this situation especially. 

18. Do seek the help of a therapist if you need to

Some couples in this situation find it valuable to spend time speaking with a therapist and communicating with a mediator in place. If you’re struggling to communicate with your partner about his cross-dressing, this is a good idea.

19. Do focus on the love you share

We all have things that we’d rather keep secret or parts of ourselves that make us feel vulnerable and judged, so try not to get too hung up on the fact your partner cross-dresses. You love each other, and underneath it all, that’s what matters in life.

FAQs

Why does my husband want to wear women's clothes?

There’s an array of reasons why your partner might want to wear women’s clothes. Some guys like dressing up in clothes designed for the females because they prefer them because they want to embody a female character for a moment or it can be because they actually want to change sex. It’s important to remember that cross-dressing doesn’t always mean that a guy is gay or transgender though.

Should I let my husband wear my clothes?

It’s completely up to you whether you want your husband to wear things from your closet or not. If their husband is cross-dressing, some women prefer to share their closet with them rather than have them go and buy a complete second wardrobe. However, for other women, the idea of their husband sharing their closet makes them feel uneasy.

What outfits do guys find most attractive?

It really depends on personal preference for what outfit a guy finds most attractive on the opposite sex. Some guys get turned on by short dresses and mini skirts whereas others prefer long skirts and jumpers - beauty really is in the eye of the beholder with this!

Should a man tell a woman what to wear?

A man should never tell a woman how to dress as it’s completely her choice. A lot of men feel intimidated when women dress in more revealing clothes, but it’s not their choice to decide how someone should dress. If a guy is trying to tell you how you should and shouldn’t dress, ignore him and dress however you want to.

What do you call a man that dresses like a woman?

Typically, a man that dresses like a woman is called a crossdresser. Cross-dressing normally starts at a young age in life and although homosexual men and transgender individuals are known to do it, a lot of cross-dressing males are heterosexual and don’t want to change their sex.

In Conclusion

If your husband is dressing up as the opposite sex, it can come as a shock and you might find it difficult to deal with initially. Hopefully, after reading this article you’re now fully prepared to deal with this situation so that you can support your husband and set your own boundaries in a healthy way.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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