My Husband Likes To Wear Women’s Clothes (19 Things You Should (and Shouldn’t) Do)
If you’ve walked in on your husband walking around in your intimates or you’ve noticed him scrambling to get out of a dress before you can see, you might be feeling shocked and confused. Although you might think it’s rare, it’s not that uncommon for men to enjoy wearing women’s clothes, and there’s a variety of reasons as to why they do it.
However, it is still one of the more taboo subjects, and therefore you might not know what way to react or how to approach the situation because you know very little about it. Don’t panic though, because this article is here to help you understand what you should and shouldn’t do when you find out that your husband likes to crossdress.
Contents
- 1 What To Do And Not To Do
- 1.1 1. Don’t assume you’re husband is gay
- 1.2 2. Don’t assume your husband is transgender
- 1.3 3. Don’t panic and think your relationship is doomed
- 1.4 4. Don’t tell your friends straight away
- 1.5 5. Do background research on cross-dressing
- 1.6 6. Do realize you can’t fix or change this
- 1.7 7. Do openly talk to your husband
- 1.8 8. Do ensure he feels like he’s in an emotionally safe space
- 1.9 9. Don’t judge him
- 1.10 10. Do show empathy and try to understand
- 1.11 11. Don’t pressure him to tell you anything
- 1.12 12. Do ask if he’s questioning his sexuality
- 1.13 13. Do ask how often and where he cross-dresses
- 1.14 14. Do think about your own boundaries
- 1.15 15. Do set ground rules that the two of you are happy with
- 1.16 16. Do support him
- 1.17 17. Do ensure there’s always an open conversation about it
- 1.18 18. Do seek the help of a therapist if you need to
- 1.19 19. Do focus on the love you share
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
What To Do And Not To Do
1. Don’t assume you’re husband is gay
The fact is, a lot of straight men crossdress, and a lot of the time, they’re ashamed of it because society deems it unacceptable for heterosexual men to do this. So, although your first thought might be that your husband is gay, and although that could possibly be true, it’s probably not and you shouldn’t assume this.
2. Don’t assume your husband is transgender
Much like the assumption that your mind will jump to about your husband being gay, you may also assume that he’s transgender or wants to change sex. As mentioned above, a lot of heterosexual men that are happy being labeled as men, crossdress. Therefore, don’t assume your husband wants to change his sex.
3. Don’t panic and think your relationship is doomed
It’s completely normal for you to panic and become nervous about your marriage, but you need to calm down and realize that this is much like any other relationship issue you’ve had before and the two of you can work through it - you’re partners for life!
4. Don’t tell your friends straight away
Although confiding in your friends is great and it’s probably what you normally do when it comes to this matter, it’s best not to for your partner’s sake. Your partner may not want anyone to know about his cross-dressing, and it’s not for you to share, so it’s best to get advice elsewhere.
5. Do background research on cross-dressing
Before you panic too much or confront your husband about it, you should really research cross-dressing. This is a delicate matter and something that you shouldn’t go into blindly, so do your research.
6. Do realize you can’t fix or change this
It’s important to realize that this is a part of your partner that you are unable to change or fix. You need to find a way to accept that and work together with him, rather than against him.
7. Do openly talk to your husband
You do need to talk to your partner about his cross-dressing habits as it’s something that affects both of you. The two of you have to have clear, honest communication without judgment or prejudice.
8. Do ensure he feels like he’s in an emotionally safe space
You should always try and ensure your partner feels in a safe space, both emotionally and physically, and to talk to him about this matter, you need to be certain he feels like he can be open and honest with you. For example, confront him at home, not when you’re out and about with people around.
9. Don’t judge him
Imagine if you felt vulnerable about a personal matter, would you want to be judged by your partner? Of course not, so make sure that when you speak to your husband about cross-dressing, you don't judge him. Instead, listen and be open.
10. Do show empathy and try to understand
Although you might not fully understand why your partner dresses in clothes designed for women, you need to try and understand why he does it and show empathy to him. It’s probably a really big deal for him to even speak to you about it, so try to be understanding and nonjudgemental.
11. Don’t pressure him to tell you anything
You might want to rack your husband’s brain about this topic, but it’s going to be really overwhelming for him if you do this. Instead, let him tell you things in his own time and don’t put any added pressure on him.
12. Do ask if he’s questioning his sexuality
Your husband might be heterosexual, as a lot of heterosexual men do crossdress, but it is always worth asking (in a calm, honest, and open manner) if he is questioning his sexuality. If he is, it’s important that you know.
13. Do ask how often and where he cross-dresses
You should ask your partner how often he cross-dresses and where he does it, so you can gauge how much time he wants to spend looking like the opposite sex and whether he wants to do it strictly at home or in public.
14. Do think about your own boundaries
Of course, it’s important that you practice compassion and understanding, but you should also set your own boundaries. If you’re happy for him to crossdress at home but definitely not in public, tell him. If you don’t want him wearing your dresses and would prefer he bought his own, tell him.
15. Do set ground rules that the two of you are happy with
As a pair, you need to lay sound ground rules so that both of you feel happy with the knowledge that no boundaries are being crossed.
16. Do support him
A lot of men really struggle with their emotions when it comes to cross-dressing, so make sure that you support your partner. After all, you’re a team and he supports you right back.
17. Do ensure there’s always an open conversation about it
In case either of you crosses any boundaries or breaks the basic rules you set together, you need to work on maintaining open, honest communication when it comes to this situation especially.
18. Do seek the help of a therapist if you need to
Some couples in this situation find it valuable to spend time speaking with a therapist and communicating with a mediator in place. If you’re struggling to communicate with your partner about his cross-dressing, this is a good idea.
We all have things that we’d rather keep secret or parts of ourselves that make us feel vulnerable and judged, so try not to get too hung up on the fact your partner cross-dresses. You love each other, and underneath it all, that’s what matters in life.
FAQs
Why does my husband want to wear women's clothes?
There’s an array of reasons why your partner might want to wear women’s clothes. Some guys like dressing up in clothes designed for the females because they prefer them because they want to embody a female character for a moment or it can be because they actually want to change sex. It’s important to remember that cross-dressing doesn’t always mean that a guy is gay or transgender though.
Should I let my husband wear my clothes?
It’s completely up to you whether you want your husband to wear things from your closet or not. If their husband is cross-dressing, some women prefer to share their closet with them rather than have them go and buy a complete second wardrobe. However, for other women, the idea of their husband sharing their closet makes them feel uneasy.
What outfits do guys find most attractive?
It really depends on personal preference for what outfit a guy finds most attractive on the opposite sex. Some guys get turned on by short dresses and mini skirts whereas others prefer long skirts and jumpers - beauty really is in the eye of the beholder with this!
Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to?
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It makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or not.
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Should a man tell a woman what to wear?
A man should never tell a woman how to dress as it’s completely her choice. A lot of men feel intimidated when women dress in more revealing clothes, but it’s not their choice to decide how someone should dress. If a guy is trying to tell you how you should and shouldn’t dress, ignore him and dress however you want to.
What do you call a man that dresses like a woman?
Typically, a man that dresses like a woman is called a crossdresser. Cross-dressing normally starts at a young age in life and although homosexual men and transgender individuals are known to do it, a lot of cross-dressing males are heterosexual and don’t want to change their sex.
In Conclusion
If your husband is dressing up as the opposite sex, it can come as a shock and you might find it difficult to deal with initially. Hopefully, after reading this article you’re now fully prepared to deal with this situation so that you can support your husband and set your own boundaries in a healthy way.
Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship.
It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.
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7 comments on “My Husband Likes To Wear Women’s Clothes (19 Things You Should (and Shouldn’t) Do)”
Hi!
I've been crossdressing sine I was 8 yrs old. I married young thinking this would keep me from it. I was wrong. I was soon wearing short shorts and then my wife's panties, pantihose and then began wearing them out in public at dark.
We soon fell out but didn't divorse, she found her loving outside marriage and I couldn't blame her.
I was soon doing the same with men and loved dressing for them.
Over the years and much pain we are still married but we aren't close. She dosn't say anything about my wearing women's cloths, short shorts and even has bought me women's sleep shorts and panties.
I still love her and I thik she does too. I think we both just got married too early and now thik of ourselves as more of friends. I never was much of man or boy, probably was too close to my mom. I thik she would have wanted a girl and I probably would have like it.
How I got started wearing panties
I think most of us who enjoy wearing panties have a simple reason, at least when we started out. I have a satin fetish, and it started at a very young age. I had a favorite blanket and it had a satin boarder, I used to love running my finger over the smooth material. I grew out of the blanket eventually, but not the enjoyment of feeling satin material. It was a soothing and relaxing type of feeling I got.
Later on when I started dating girls I was delighted to find out there were satin panties, along with other silky kinds of fabrics they were made from. I was amazed at the number of styles and fabrics that were use to make them with. Growing up the only useful research I was able to do was from the big store catalogs which had a plethora of images and descriptions of the panties they had to offer. Now mind you, on the other hand the men’s under ware in the same catalog had no where near the selection the ladies had.
Fast forward to the introduction of the Victoria’s Secret brand, my wife was a very good customer of that brand. What brought my attention to the brand was when she purchased a number of bra and pantie sets of Second Skin Satin. I was like a kid in the candy store so to speak when she would get off work. My wife like to dress nicely for work, so when she came home she liked to lounge around in her lingerie and have a cocktail and relax. I enjoyed the opportunity to feed my satin fetish by feeling all the satin that was on display. I commented that I really liked what she had picked out and suggested she purchase some more in different styles.
I remember it was just a few weeks before Christmas and we were attending some of the many Christmas parties that were being held from work and people we knew. It was at one of the parties that I had just enough alcohol to lower my inhibitions to the point that when my wife walked over to me and asked how I was doing I said fine. I also asked her to buy me some satin panties for Christmas……… Did I just ask that question? I think we both had the same “Deer in the Headlights” look on our faces after the question was asked. She answered “we’ll see.
Christmas day and to be truthful I had completely forgotten the request that I had asked for weeks before. The kids were the first to open their presents, always good to do that as they will be busy with their new toys and leave us to open ours in semi private. I opened the presents that were under the tree for myself and the usual sweaters and shirts were welcomed gifts. She opened hers and I had not noticed she had two more wrapped present next to her and she handed me one to open. I tore off the wrapping paper to find a Victoria’s Secret box which I thought nothing our of the ordinary because sometimes the boxes were used for things not purchased at that store. I was expecting another shirt of something like that to be in the box.
When I opened the box, I was absolutely stunned, there were a dozen Second Skin Satin panties in the box. They were different styles and colors, but they were all satin. I got this big grin on my face and thanked her. When I looked over I saw the second box she was passing my way to open. I took the wrapping paper off to discover another Victoria’s Secret box, now I was really excited to see what else she bought me. I opened the box to find 3 satin PJ sets. They were a different type of satin and the shiny side was inside with the rougher part was the exterior of the PJ’s. I was one happy husband I can tell you that. I got up and gave her a nice kiss and a thank you.
Needless to say I told her I was going to put these last two presents in our room. I did just that and took the opportunity to examine what kinds of panties there were in the first present. I picked a navy blue full brief and changed into them and returned to the living room. When I sat down my wife remarked that that she was glad to see I enjoyed my presents, kind of nodding to the lump in my jeans, she smiled.
she had no problems with me wearing them and we would both go shopping when Victoria’s Secret ran their sales. I am sure the check out babe knew some were for me as my wife wore a size 6 and I wore a size 7, we really didn’t care what she thought, it was a rush shopping. Over time I was able to add nightgown and other piece of lingerie to my collection. I consider my self lucky to have an understanding wife who does not see a problem with her husband wearing what he likes to wear. I think it stems from asking and not hiding what liked, I seriously doubt I would have bought panties on my own before this, although I do buy things that I like online and she kind of knows by the return address what’s in the package and sooner or later she’ll see what I bought.
Hi. My BF cross dresses. I would never deny self expression but I find difficult to compartmentalize and see him as the strong heterosexual man I've always desired. Perhaps my boundaries are within normal limits and I need to walk away. But would love to know what happens to a young boy's brain to trigger such behavior?
Should a woman tell a man what to wear? Should a woman ban her husband/partner from wearing his own female attire? Why is it still socially acceptable for women to crossdress openly but not for men?
Should a woman tell a man what to wear or, ban her husband/partner from wearing his own female attire? Why is it still socially acceptable for women to crossdress openly but not for men?
That’s a good question. The older I get the less I care about what others think
Oh but it’s sexy for a woman to don a guys button down shirt, to wear loose fitting blue jeans? But whoa! Heaven forbid a man enjoy wearing female clothing. I think skirts are far more comfortable and would wear one all the time if it was socially acceptable. I’m heterosexual as they come. But ever since I was 10 I’ve enjoyed wearing women clothes.