My Husband Doesn't Respect Me (20 Warning Signs)

by April Maccario

Gone are the days of arranged marriages when people had no clue what their future spouse looks like, or how loud their voice sounds when they scream. 

Both time and the growth of society have especially liberated us, women, allowing us to choose who we want to spend our lives with. It doesn't matter if you're a wife or husband; we all desire to be loved and cherished by the person we've chosen to be with till death do us part.

Certainly, with our wedding vows, we promised to be there for each other through thick and thin and to also respect and honor our spouse. No doubt, respect is something we decide to do every day, no matter how tough life gets, and how frustrated we might feel. Knowing that your spouse has no respect for you may be painful to admit, but some signs are so bright, you cannot ignore them.  

If you’ve always asked yourself ‘why my husband is disrespectful’ or 'why is my husband so mean and disrespectful to me’, maybe this article will give you insight on why your husband is acting the way he is, and if there’s anything you may do to help. 

20 Signs Of A Disrespectful Husband

1. He doesn’t tell you anything

He doesn’t tell you anything

Communication in a relationship, especially a marriage doesn't have to only be about dangerous things like if you need a bigger house, or which school the children should attend. It can be something as subtle as how your partner’s day went. If your husband isn't forthcoming about the simple things, to the extent that you need to find things out from other people, he might not respect you as much as you think. 

This is seen as disrespect because you’re supposed to operate as a unit, and keeping you informed is one way of remaining as one. The absence of this can breed distrust, which will ultimately affect the marriage.

2. He doesn't make time for you

Telling you about his day is only one part of your husband's inability to spend quality time with you. Everyone indeed has a different love language, with some demanding quality time more than others. Wives (and women in general) always need time with those they love, because their feelings thrive in moments like this. 

Your spouse's inability to spend time with you may mean he doesn't regard you as much as you thought (which means he is a disrespectful husband). Worse yet, if he prefers to spend the time intended for both of you by overworking, or doing other things he can do any other day, it clearly shows he doesn’t respect you.

3. He is selfish

Selfishness in a marriage or relationship isn't healthy because it draws you away from your husband. More so, a good spouse is anyone who understands the relevance of being available for the other person, whilst caring and loving them appropriately instead of keeping to themselves

In this instance, selfishness refers to when your husband only cares and thinks about himself. When your husband cares more about himself than you or the household, it is an excellent signal that he doesn't respect you and the marriage. Furthermore, if you feel like he has abandoned you, it’s time to make your way out.

4. He doesn't introduce you

Many of us like to be in relationships, to love, cherish, give, and even take care of someone, without expecting anything back. More so, we love to show off our partner to others, which shows how much respect we have for them.  However, if your husband doesn't introduce you, it creates suspicion. 

We're not talking about getting a megaphone and proclaiming to the whole world, but introducing and including your husband in conversations with friends and acquaintances you run into. However, if these actions are not even reciprocated by your partner, it shows you have a disrespectful husband. 

5. He makes you feel inferior

When a spouse doesn't respect or regard you, you feel like less than you are. Instances where your husband has low self-confidence often results in him thinking less about himself and in return, making you feel like you’re inferior; when in fact, he is the one who needs confidence-boosting.

More so, to feel better, he will need to project his negative views on you. The constant projection makes him feel better and provides an illusion that his life is much better than they think it is. If your spouse is quick to tell you that you don't matter, he simply doesn't respect you.

6. He jokes at your expense

When it comes to making jokes, there's nothing like boundaries for your partner. Your husband might be free to push the boundaries of what we call jokes at your expense. Such a thing is an excellent sign that he doesn't respect you as a person and husband. 

Besides making jokes, a husband who doesn't respect you might decide to share intimate details about both of you with others, without your permission. This is another clear sign of disrespect that needs to be addressed before it gets too far.

7. He's never on your side

He's never on your side

Standing by your spouse in all situations shows the level of respect you have for them. Even when the person is at fault; supporting them while in public goes a great way to show how much you care about their feelings, and respect them as loved ones. 

A husband with no regard for his wife will hardly take their side in any situation, whether it involves work, career, family, and even friends. This can also go as far as the person openly opposing you; this is gross disrespect and needs addressing before it gets out of hand.

8. Your accomplishments mean nothing

One of the signs your husband has no respect for you is when he doesn’t acknowledge your accomplishments which don't have to be something huge; it may be as little as starting to work out, or as massive as expanding your business. Whatever it is, your husband should be your number one fan at all times, pushing you to attain your goals and celebrating with you when these goals are crushed. 

If your husband avoids such actions, he might not respect and regard you as much as you think. A husband who respects the other always finds a way to compliment them, to be sure they know their efforts are seen.

9. He hides things from you

Honesty and openness help every relationship thrive; thus, their absence affects both parties negatively. When you're in a relationship where your other half respects you, he's bound by commitment, to be honest with you at all times. If he hides things from you ever so often, something might be amiss. 

It doesn't matter if it's something trivial; your man needs to be able to let you know, and not bench on the excuse that he didn't want you to worry. This excuse is very condescending and depicts a disrespectful relationship.

10. He is derogatory

Most of us can't stand something derogatory passed by one person about another. Why? Because we find them very disrespectful and unkind. Imagine if this is done to you by someone you love and cherish. Any man who passes derogatory comments about his woman, in front of her or behind her back, doesn't respect her as his partner and as a human being. 

If your partner does this to you, you don't have to tolerate it for any reason; address the situation, find the cause, and create solutions to curb its occurrence. When this sign is ignored and left to grow, it results in gaslighting and emotional abuse, which affects you for a long time.  

11. He doesn’t help you

Things get tough from time to time, and we all encounter some struggles that turn our lives around for the worst. During these moments, having someone who can hold you, encourage and assure you of better days is a great plus. 

Having a spouse means you also have a best friend, you can talk to any time about anything and everything without restraint. If you can't speak to your man about your struggles because he isn't going to offer any help or support, you need to consider whether or not he cares and respects you.

12. He does nothing

Yes, it is terrible that a husband passes derogatory jokes at your expense or even shares intimate details about you with his friends. That's gross disrespect and negligence, in a relationship. He’s treating you as though you don't exist and offers the silent treatment at all times, both in public and private. 

Only narcissistic people love the silent treatment because it makes the other person feel uncared for, unloved, and easily disposable. More so, the silent treatment is emotional abuse if frequently done; thus, it shouldn't be tolerated by anybody you're romantically involved with.  

13. He’s unwilling to share

Everything is shared 50/50 when you're married, everything! If your isn't willing to share his things, it can be a great sign of disrespect. Once you decide to get married, you eliminate selfishness and exclusivity to live with another person. 

If you still stick to the notion that what's yours is yours but what's there is also ours, you're excessively selfish and utterly disrespectful. Any man who does this to his woman doesn't deserve her respect.

14. He isn't willing to negotiate

Marriages and relationships in the general center on the ability to compromise, negotiate, and respect each other. In the absence of this ability, it’ll be challenging to live with another person. Yes, love isn't all you need to make a marriage work; it needs compromise and lots of it. 

The ability to negotiate with your partner helps you to not only know each other better, but to also resolve any issues, problems, and conflicts, which may arise as the marriage progresses. If your husband always refuses to discuss things, or will often give a passive attitude towards anything, stating it’s his way and no other, this is a sign that your thoughts aren’t regraded in any manner. This ultimately means he lacks respect.

15. He flirts on social media

In this era of technological advancement, social media has taken a high seat in most of our lives, seeing as we use it for a myriad of activities. From catching up with friends to making new ones, we’re always online, doing one thing or the other. There's nothing terrible about using social media.

It only becomes an issue when one partner misuses these platforms (while in a relationship). If your man is sending flirty messages to others via social media, it is a sign he doesn’t respect you, and he simply doesn’t see the relationship as anything serious. Who knows, he may have never loved you, to begin with.

16. You don't matter to him

One other sign of disrespect your husband might show is treating you as if you don't matter. If he behaves as though he can do better in life without you, or life will still continue just fine if you aren't around tomorrow, it's time to make a clear assessment of the relationship. 

What’s more, when you are not around and he acts as though he's never been happier, it means he doesn't take you seriously and is merely looking for something temporal.

17. He isn't polite to your family

Your loved ones are the people who know you very well and have been by your side before your husband came into the picture and in some instances, those who encouraged you to open your heart to your spouse. If your disrespectful husband also lacks respect for your family members and friends (for no apparent reason), chances are, he's not serious about you. 

Trust me, if he had respect for you, his actions may even transcend to those you care about because he cares about how you feel and loves them equally. He will also see them as an extension of his relationship with you and will never disrespect them.

18. He doesn’t listen

He doesn’t listen

Every spouse must be willing to lend a listening ear whenever their partner wants to talk. It could be in a conversation to share ideas or a monologue where you want to tell him something important. 

If he’s unwilling to listen to you or flat out refuses to let you speak during a conversation, you should draw his attention to his lack of respect for you and how emotionally abusive he's being. If he still doesn't care about your feelings, you analyze where you stand in the relationship.

19. He ignores boundaries

We all have boundaries, and everyone, even our spouses, should respect them. If you've been vocal with these boundaries and he still chooses to ignore them, he's taking you for granted and disregarding everything you stand for. This clearly shows he is a disrespectful husband.

20. He speaks ill about your appearance

Does your partner like making fun of your clothing style or pass negative comments about your appearance? Does he say hurtful things about your weight, nails, hair, and any other part of your body? This is very disrespectful in marriage and also very painful.

FAQs

What do you do when your husband doesn't respect you?

The first and the best thing a wife can do, as soon as she realizes she’s losing respect from her spouse, is to be open with him. Speaking to your companion about your new realization and how you feel about it allows him to think like you; to take your place and imagine how you’re feeling. If this is done and he still can’t understand what’s happening, you may have to reconsider if indeed he cares about you as much as he says he does.

How do you know your husband doesn't respect you?

There are over a million signs which give you the picture that indeed, the man you’re married to doesn’t regard you or your opinions. Disrespect from your spouse can in varying ways. The first sign may be that he never listens to or like your views. This is crucial in marriage since you'll have to make individual decisions together for the growth and benefit of your family.

What are signs of disrespect in a relationship?

In conversation, it is straightforward to distinguish when your partner isn't respectful or mindful of what you think and what you need. If you realize that your opinions aren't considered every time there's a discussion, or your questions aren't answered, it is safe to see your partner has no interest in your feelings and thoughts due to their lack of respect. As soon as you realize this, you need to have a frank conversation with your spouse, to prevent any further damage to your bond.

Why does a husband disrespect his wife?

Lack of respect in relationships often stems from different things, some being a difference in backgrounds, and the diverse needs of both parties. The primary reason, though, why husbands disrespect their wives is because they have low levels of confidence in themselves; this low self-confidence needs to deal with one way or the other, and the most natural outlet is via making others around him feel small. Since you're with him, this unfortunate act falls on you.

What are the signs of disrespect?

Apart from your partner's inability to regard your opinions in conversation, other signs allow you to see when your partner isn't respectful. These include interruptions whenever you attempt to speak, talking at you and not with you, and exempting you from the critical conversation and decision making altogether.

To Summarize

Disrespect can cause havoc in your marriage when it's not addressed and solved at the initial stages. Both parties must try as much as possible to prevent this from happening since it will affect their children and extended families. If you found this article interesting, check out our other pieces on relationships, dating, marriage, and love in general.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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