My Ex Is Getting Married (11 Ways To Handle The Situation)

by April Maccario

We all secretly want to be the first to get our lives together or back on track after a breakup, whether bad or good. So, when you hear that someone you were in a relationship with is getting married, there's no telling how you would react to that, and it hardly matters if you're over him or not. 

You’ve probably heard a friend or sister say “my ex got married,” and watched the way they either put on a tough front, got jealous, or simply focused on their life. Now, you’re in the same situation and you're wondering “how could he find someone else so fast? Did he even value our relationship?”

Somehow, you’re wishing you had been the one to make that important life decision first. Or perhaps, you fall into the line of people who don't care about their ex getting married; but you don’t know how to respond to the situation. 

Say whatever you want about how you feel, but you shared part of your life with this person. If he does get married to someone else, it will sting. If you’re looking for a way to get over the situation and focus on your life, then keep reading cause I'm sharing those ways with you below. 

11 Ways To The Situation

1. Feel no pressure to congratulate him

If you feel like sending a congratulatory message to him, that’s totally up to you. Don’t let people pressure you into reaching out to him. If you don’t have any strong ties with him then there’s no need to congratulate him on his new relationship

It’s a lot easier to show regards if you both were on speaking terms before the announcement. Congratulating your ex doesn’t prove you’re over the relationship or something. 

2. Deal with how you feel

deal with how you feel

When your ex gets married quickly it’s normal to feel like he found someone better than you. Going through the hurt, betrayal, regret, or whatever else will help you move past those feelings. Express yourself to a close friend, cry if you want to but be sure to let it all out of your system. 

The fact that he found someone else that fast would hurt, but the truth is that it has little to do with you. You’re two different people, and while he may have tied the knot with someone else, that doesn’t reduce your chances of finding true happiness. 

3. Talk only if you have to

Talking with your ex about him getting married is only necessary if you both still kept in contact with each other. Otherwise, there’s no need to call him up out of the blue for that conversation. Confrontation can lead to so many issues resurfacing; you have to be careful about the words you use to convey whatever feelings you have or may have had. 

4. Keep boundaries with mutual friends

Sharing mutual friends with your ex-boyfriend or husband means those friends might feel the need to keep you updated about his business. However, you have to draw a line and take a stand on your feelings where this guy is concerned. Let them know you don’t want the unnecessary updates.

These people that bring you this information hardly ever mean well, they seek drama mostly, and you’re not in the space for that right now. You don’t need all that negative information if you truly want to move forward, it doesn’t make you feel better. 

5. Give more space

If you used to communicate with your ex occasionally, now's the time to give him more space. I’m not saying ghost him, but it’ll be better for both of you to stay away from each other to avoid awkward situations. Don’t call just to check how he is doing and be mindful of the type of help you offer him. 

6. Do not stalk them 

do not stalk them

As much as you would like to see what his bride is like don’t be stalkerish about it. Lay off on following them intensely on social media. If we are honest, our first instinct is to check out the new partner in comparison to ourselves. That's not healthy at all.

Find healthy distractions, one way to keep your mind off his new relationship is to keep your mind focused on something else. Take a trip, focus on work or hang with friends that won’t remind you of the situation.

7. No need to tell your current partner

Telling your current partner about this may stir up some type of insecurity or feelings. In a healthy relationship, casually telling your partner about an ex getting married shouldn't be a problem, especially if you have moved on. 

Not telling your current partner is different from hiding it from him, but if you feel it would raise eyebrows the don’t mention it.

8. Make peace with the past

Make peace with the fact that your ex may be happier now than he was before and that's okay. Accept that things didn't work out between the both of you and learn from it. You may have to mourn the loss of your ex all over again. Write out reasons you both had to separate from each other and let that keep you on track. 

9. Respect your ex and his spouse

If there are kids involved, then you’ll be doing this for them. Expressing bad feelings towards your ex and his new wife could affect your kids. Lousy-mouthing or spreading rumors about your ex's partner isn't healthy at all and if you feel this way, maybe you should see a therapist for help. 

10. Prepare for the wedding day

It's not compulsory to attend the wedding day; I vote you shouldn't. Accept that you got over this person a long time ago and are just friends. So, you shouldn't put yourself in that awkward position at all. The wedding day might not be as tough as you imagined. However, it's easy to pull through it when you're not in attendance. 

 11. Surround yourself with love and light

surround yourself with love and light

Talk to someone who would listen to you and give you good advice—a person who has your best interests at heart. Get involved in beautiful distractions that fill your life with love and light. Don't sit home sulking or wallowing in hurt, get out there and take a breath by the horns as well. 

FAQs

What do you do when your ex gets married? 

It's best you feel the emotions, suppression doesn't help in this situation. Let your mutual friends know where you stand on the issue and avoid all the updates about your ex. You don't have to congratulate him or attend the wedding if you do not want to, it's not necessary at all. Take time off to get over the hurt and process your thoughts. 

Should you tell your ex you're getting married? 

I don't think you have to, that's my opinion. However, if you feel the need to let your ex know that you're getting married, go ahead. Prepare yourself mentally for the conversation and ask yourself hard questions like ”why am I telling him?” “what do I want him to do?” ”how do I feel about him?” and the likes. 

What are the signs your ex is not over you? 

Stalking is one of the glaring signs your ex isn't over you. He will want to know what's going on with you and sometimes acts like you haven't broken up with him when he gets the chance. Another sign is him telling you he still has feelings for you and wants you back in his life. 

What does it mean when you dream about your ex getting married? 

Pay attention to your feelings in that dream, if you felt hurt enough to want to confront him about marrying his new partner maybe you're not ready to let go of this ex. Dreaming about your ex could mean a lot of things, but if it's about their wedding, it points to how you feel about letting that ex go. 

How do I stop loving my ex? 

Yep, the first step is to stop contacting your ex; it's hard, but you need to cut off all forms of interaction. However, this doesn't mean ghosting him, and it means taking time off for yourself. It's unhealthy to be around someone like that often. Also, make peace with the past and present situation. Let go of the fantasy and start things that'll keep you focused. 

In Conclusion 

This article is just what you need to get through your ex getting married. Do consider all the points to achieve a substantial breakthrough. I would like to read your thoughts in the comment section so please write them down and share this article with your lovely friends. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *