My Boyfriend Breaks Up With Me Every Time We Argue (13 Upsetting Reasons)

by April Maccario

“We’ve been together for three years now, but every time we fight over something, he says he wants to break up with me.” I hear this all the time, the boyfriend who throws in the towel every time there’s an argument. 

Yes, it’s a bit immature… okay, it’s very immature. Couples are going to have disagreements in relationships, it’s expected since you’re not robots. 

It can be psychologically draining to have a guy resort to doing this every time there’s a fight. So why does he do it? Here’s the thing, no one can tell why your boyfriend is doing this, except you. That’s why I’m providing 13 relatable reasons why he would break up with you each time you get into an argument.

Why Does He Always Want To Break Up?

1. Fear

Why did he break up with me again? That’s the question resonating in the minds of many ladies in the same situation. Well, one of the reasons could be fear, they know how strongly they feel about their significant others and worry it isn’t reciprocal

This could make them anxious leading to unnecessary outbursts and then breakup. The irony is they are scared of losing someone so important to them that they run when they see an opening. 

2. Manipulation

manipulation

Some men can be manipulative! In fact, many have mastered the art of keeping you exactly where they need you, at their mercy. This often arises when they feel what they have done will implicate them, so they blackmail you into feeling terrible and then threaten to leave. You find yourself coming back to beg for forgiveness because you truly love and care for him and don’t want him to leave. 

3. Not Ready To Take Correction

It can be difficult to take correction especially if he feels he isn’t at fault. In times like this, he will revert to building up his defenses and trying to break up with you. Of course, he doesn’t mean it, he just reacted immaturely in the heat of the moment.

4. He Cannot Handle A Relationship

If you’re dating someone, that takes maturity and understanding, he can’t use the same method he relates with his guy friends to relate with you. He has to know that both of you will fight and disagree. But it takes patience, wisdom, and communication to get on the same page again. 

A boyfriend that doesn’t have emotional maturity will have a difficult time not only sustaining a relationship but staying even in heated arguments. Good luck telling him this, he’ll probably throw another fit.

5. Anxiety

Anxiety leaves us making mistakes that we shouldn’t make. Some men get anxious that things are not going okay so their first resort is to call it off. He doesn’t mean it but he’s anxious, angry, and probably isn’t thinking straight.

6. He’s Avoidant

he's avoidant

Love avoidance is a certain behavioral pattern some humans have. It is influenced by experiences growing up. Avoidant people tend to be more into themselves, they hate confrontations and will run when an argument gets overwhelming for them.

If your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you, he’s most likely an avoidant person. Try communicating with him when you are both happy. These are patterns that can change.

7. He Feels It Will End The Argument

“He broke up with me just when I was about to apologize,” If I gave a penny for every time I heard that! You see, guys can’t read your mind, and they don’t like processing their feelings either. Running is easy, it’s why it’s the first response to an altercation. Instead of getting to the bottom of things, he would rather make the dreadful announcement and walk away

8. It’s His Way Of Expressing His Frustration

Does your boyfriend explode and throw a fit when he’s angry? That’s probably how he expresses his frustrations. Those explosive thoughts could lead him to break up with you; it’s an outlet for him to express that he’s really upset. He probably doesn’t know any other way to do that and breaking up is the only option in his mind at the time. 

9. He Is Insecure

He is scared that you would leave him so he tries to do that before you. Insecurity can cause issues in relationships; it leads to fights and sometimes the partners may not realize it’s an insecurity problem. Have a conversation with your partner on what makes him leave and come back. He might open up to you about his insecurities.

10. He Doesn’t Want To Be Alone

In a case where the relationship has hit the rocks, he will come back because he doesn’t want to be alone. Regardless of how toxic the bond is, he will always come back. Next time he comes back, ask him what exactly he wants and why he chooses to remain if he’s so unhappy.

11. Unaddressed And Unresolved Problems

unaddressed and unresolved problems

Once issues are not ironed out, both parties could harbor differences and bitterness from what was said in the last argument. Dating expert Yangki Christine advises couples against reconciliation before addressing the issues that caused the arguments. It is important to communicate and solve the issues before making up again.

12. Not Acknowledging The Cycle

Some partners do this unknowingly; they are oblivious to the fact that they keep breaking up and coming back. For them, it’s just a walk in the park. Psychologist Dr. Gail Saltz states that adults tend to pick up these patterns from their parents. 

They are used to seeing an ‘on and off relationship’ and it shapes their thought patterns more than they would like to believe. It’s important to have a conversation with your partner so he knows this is something he does a lot.

13. He Wants To Make It Work

Guys in happy relationships would always want to fight to make it work. No matter the differences, reminiscing on how good you both are together will set him back on a trajectory to your heart. 

Maybe he did feel fed up and done, but he keeps trying because he believes that you both can figure it out. It takes two partners to make a union work, so the two of you have to have a deep conversation about how to iron things out. It’s the only way this annoying break-up cycle may end. Good luck.

FAQs

What does it mean when your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you?

If your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you it means he’s trying to make it work. Relationships are not easy but if he keeps coming back, there is something he’s fighting to restore.

What to do when you and your boyfriend are constantly arguing?

It’s not healthy being in a relationship with constant fights and arguments. It will be best to have a conversation about where the relationship is heading and if it’s working for both of you.

Is it normal for couples to argue often?

Arguments are good for couples but too many arguments can be bad. If a couple argues all the time it gives room for resentment and lack of understanding.

Why does he break up with me and come back?

He does this because he doesn’t want to be alone, he would rather remain in an unhappy relationship than be by himself. It is a self-esteem problem.

Can you break up and get back together years later?

There are no definite rules for love and relationships, so there is a possibility that people who broke up years before can get back together years later. It all depends on how strong their feelings are and the willingness to make the relationship work.

On The Whole...

It can be bewildering when your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you after every argument. You might even be tempted not to take him back. Remember, communication is key, and once in a while. Try seeing it from his point of view. Nevertheless, if it becomes toxic, don’t hesitate to walk right out. Good luck.

I hope these tips will help give you a better understanding of the situation. I would love to know your thoughts so If you enjoyed reading this, kindly share it and leave a comment below.

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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